I will forever be grateful to “Big Mike” Cummings for calling me on that long-ago summer night and asking if I was a “master social worker.” Working alongside him—with Andre Christian and Willie “Ele” Freeman—has enabled me to learn about change and hope in ways I could never have imagined. However, my deepest debt is to the men of Project Fatherhood Jordan Downs. Without them, this book would not exist. As we talked, fought, laughed, and cried together, they taught me the meaning of love. This book exists because of them, and all of the proceeds from its publication will go to their organization. But I will never be able to repay them for what they have given to me.
For their ongoing support during every meeting and every funding renewal, my thanks go to John King, Jennifer Thomas Arthurs, and Jessica Lopez of the Housing Authority of the City of Los Angeles and Kids Progress Inc. We all owe a debt of gratitude to the late Dr. Hershel Swinger for this remarkable program. I am thankful that Alan-Michael Graves and Anthony Young, along with Children’s Institute, Inc., have kept his vision alive.
This is the second book I have worked on with Beacon Press senior editor Alexis Rizzuto. “Work” is a misnomer—collaborating with Alexis has been a pure joy, and she has helped to fulfill my vision for this story, even at a point when I began to lose my way. I greatly appreciate her intelligence and honesty but most importantly her warmth in what has been an emotional, often challenging, process. Along with Alexis, the entire staff of Beacon Press, including Helene Atwan, Tom Hallock, and Pam MacColl, embodies a writer’s dream of professionalism and support. The copyediting provided by Susan Lumenello and Peggy Field was—in a word—incredible.
This book has grown out of some of the countless lessons I have learned from Father Greg Boyle, the founder and executive director of Homeboy Industries. I am eternally thankful for the love and friendship we have shared for almost thirty years. He was the first to help me appreciate the “father wound” and its meaning for the gang members—all in search of redemption—whom we continue to care about and love.
Karrah Lompa has overseen and organized research efforts, community commitments, and policy work with intelligence and care. Her insights abound while her hard work never stops. I am constantly in danger that both she and Laura Rivas will succumb to the never-ending job offers they receive. For as long as they are part of my life, I am fortunate they help make up a team that cares about children, youth, and families. Additionally, I thank Katie Thure, as well as Susana Bonis, Charles Lea, Gina Rosen, Louisa Lau, and Marjan Goudarzi for their intelligence and effort. I am grateful to Dr. Cheryl Charles for taking care of my family and ensuring I stay in good health and humor. The amazing journalist Celeste Fremon and the devoted homie attorney Elie Miller are my two sisters of the heart, whose compassion knows no limit. Beatriz Solis, of The California Endowment, is an ongoing inspiration and a thoughtful advisor, who gives generously of her time and spirit. I also wish to thank my colleagues for their wisdom and support: first and foremost, Julio Marcial, Aquil Basheer, Aqeela Sherrills, and wonderful Angela Wolf.
There are no words for the bond I share with Carol Biondi. She is my friend, my partner-in-crime, and a cherished confidante. I am blessed to have her in my life.
Since September 10, 1972, I have known Dr. Joseph Rosner. Over the past forty-three years, he has been my therapist, my mentor, and my papa. I would not be where I am without him and I am grateful every day of my life for knowing him.
I am fortunate to have been given the gift of time with my Thea Ernie—Virginia Pappas—who talked with me at length about my father and their experiences growing up. The bond between us is something I will forever cherish.
Throughout my life, I have been lucky to share the love of my two brothers and their families: Tony and Margie, Chris and Kim, Stacey and Danni. Along with them, so much of my heart belongs to the members of my chosen family, who enlarge my life, providing love and support: Tina Christie and Michelle Parra, Todd Franke—AB, Joe and Malinda Kibre, Shelly Brooks and Ben Goff, Nina Bende, Penny Fuller, Larry Pressman, my GT Marcia Berris, Ann Herold, Anne Taylor Fleming, Kenny Green, Karina Lehrner, and Jack Rosner.
I am deeply indebted to my UCLA colleagues at the Luskin School of Public Affairs and the Department of Social Welfare. Their thoughtful support is a testimony to the value and importance of the finest public university system in the world.
Finally, my husband, Mark, and our daughter, Shannon, have lived Project Fatherhood and this book every step of the way. Their love is the miracle that has made everything possible.