THE SECRET INVASION

Rancho Verdugo is positively infested with these little guys. I haven’t done a proper census, but according to my calculations, there are about a dozen Lerkians for every human being.

(That’s if you count people like Giselle the Golem as a human being, but I digress.)

There are so many of them because Lerkians don’t invade the usual way—you know, with faster-than-light spaceships and death rays. Instead, they sneak around and mess with all forms of human technology. And I mean everything. They attack traffic lights, electric signs, power lines… anything with electricity running through it.

But they mess with cell phones, too. Think back to the last time your call was dropped, right in the middle of an important conversation. Or your text mysteriously showed up on some random dude’s phone. You can thank a Lerkian for that.

Don’t even get me started on how they screw around with Wi-Fi signals. Lerkians have an uncanny knack for knocking out the internet just when the movie you’re streaming hits a really awesome part.

Plus, they have this weird power to be totally invisible to human beings… unless you use a certain app that allows you to see them through your smartphone. As of right now, I’m the only human being in the world with that app.

So, to recap: the Lerkians show no mercy and want to destroy the world. I’m pretty much the only one who can see them—and potentially stop them. Which is why they so badly want to uncover my secret identity.

To do that, they’ve enlisted human slaves.

Yep, even poor Giselle the Golem. I don’t think she means to be… um, mean. She must be remote-controlled by the Lerkians, which is why she’s always mindlessly knocking me down. It’s an attempt to make me snap and break cover.

Fortunately, I’m able to stay hidden by using my superpower of being unbelievably boring.