Lotti followed Ben and Sam down towards the river. The brothers were deep in conversation. From Ben’s hand gestures, Lotti knew that he was talking about the Channel crossing.
He didn’t look back to see if Lotti was following. She was hurt, but a part of her was glad.
It made her decision easier.
At the Sparrowhawk, she sat quietly on the foredeck with Federico while inside Sam and Ben fussed over the puppies. She listened as Sam walked about the cabins, his conversation peppered with ‘I’d forgotten’ and ‘I remember’.
Ben laughed a lot, and Lotti was glad of that too.
After about fifteen minutes, Ben came out to find her.
‘We’re going up for lunch, are you coming?’
‘In a minute. I’d just like to sit here for a while.’
He looked at her and frowned. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I am completely and absolutely fine!’ Lotti said. ‘I’m just being quiet for a bit because it’s been such an exciting day. Go! I’ll join you in a minute.’
She watched him walk away through Nathan’s workshop with quick, elastic steps she had never seen before.
‘Ben!’ she called, just before he reached the door into the cabin.
He stopped and turned. ‘What is it?’
‘I’m glad we were friends.’
Ben laughed, then left.
*
The strangeness of Lotti’s parting remark didn’t strike Ben until he stood before the convent’s refectory table, listening to the Reverend Mother say grace.
I’m glad we were friends, Lotti had said.
Were.
What was that supposed to mean? And why wasn’t she here?
They sat down to eat, and Lotti didn’t come.
‘Where is she?’ asked Clara.
‘She said she wanted to be quiet for a bit.’
Clara looked worried. ‘That’s unlike Lotti.’
Yes, thought Ben. It is.
Suddenly, he had a very bad feeling. He pushed back his plate.
‘I’ll just go and make sure she’s all right.’
He knew something was wrong the moment he stepped on board the Sparrowhawk. Lotti wasn’t on the foredeck and the cabin hatch, which he’d left open when he went to lunch, was closed. He pushed it open, and Elsie began to whine, then shot past him on to the rear deck and began to bark, facing the path which led past the door of the orchard wall into the woods.
Ben went down into the cabin.
At first glance, the Sparrowhawk seemed exactly as he had left it earlier. His unpacked bag lay where he had slung it on his berth. There was a half-drunk glass of water on the fold-down table, beside a copy of Great Expectations Clara had been reading. But something was missing …
‘Oh no.’
Lotti’s berth was neat as a pin, the pillow plumped, the blanket smoothed and folded back.
But her mother’s soft blue butterfly shawl, which had covered the bed from the day she moved in, was gone. Ben opened the drawer at the foot of the berth where Lotti kept her clothes, but he already knew it would be empty.
*
Elsie was still on the rear deck, barking towards the trees. Ben knew exactly what she was telling him.
Running faster than he had ever run, Ben headed into the woods. As he ran he seethed with rage, first with Lotti for leaving without an explanation, then with himself for not understanding earlier that she was saying goodbye.
I’m glad we were friends.
But why?
After a few minutes, he spotted her through the trees, walking resolutely along the path with her rucksack on her back and Federico beside her. He yelled her name, and she stopped. Ben’s lungs were burning but he carried on running until he reached her.
‘What are you doing?’ Lotti looked upset. ‘I didn’t want you to follow me.’
‘What am I doing?’ he panted furiously. ‘What about you?’
She raised her chin. ‘I’m going to find my grandmother.’
Ben was bewildered. ‘I didn’t even know you had a grandmother!’
‘Well, I do,’ said Lotti calmly. ‘She lives in a town called Armande, and I’m walking to the station to catch the train to go there.’
‘But …’ Ben sat down on a tree stump, too baffled to stand. ‘Why didn’t you say?’
‘Well, I didn’t know myself for sure until we got back from Buisseau,’ Lotti admitted. ‘It’s an idea that’s been growing. You see, she stopped writing to me shortly after my parents died …’
‘Why?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Lotti. ‘But earlier today, Clara said something that made me think; I can’t go home until I’ve spoken to her. Not until I’m sure.’
‘But why didn’t you say anything?’ Ben felt an almost overwhelming desire to cry. ‘You didn’t even say goodbye!’
Lotti looked a little ashamed. ‘Frank didn’t say goodbye.’
‘At least Frank left a note!’
Lotti bit her lip. ‘Well, you have Sam now …’
‘So you thought I didn’t need you any more!’ Ben’s expression was thunderous. ‘You thought I was like your grandmother who stopped writing to you, or like your horrible uncle, that I could just … throw you away!’
‘No!’ Lotti looked stricken. ‘No, I never thought that! Not really. Just, you all want to go home, and Clara thinks I should go too, and …’
But Ben was fully launched.
‘Well, I’m not like your uncle!’ he shouted, quivering with indignation. ‘Do you think I’d let you go on your own after everything you’ve done for me? To a horrible old woman, who stopped writing to you when you needed her? We are going back to the Sparrowhawk RIGHT NOW and then me and Sam are going to FIX HER and then we are taking you to your grandmother ON the SPARROWHAWK because that is WHERE YOU BELONG and if she isn’t nice to you I WILL THUMP HER!’
He glared. Lotti, trembling, began to laugh, then tried to say something and burst into tears instead.
‘Does that mean you won’t go on your own?’ Ben demanded.
‘No! I mean, yes! I just thought … oh, never mind. I think I am used to people throwing me away, like you said … and I’m used to doing things for myself … but oh, Ben, thank you! I’m so scared, you know, that Moune won’t want to see me; that she’ll turn me away or send me back to Barton. It will be so much easier if you’re with me.’
Ben, fighting a fresh urge to cry, said, ‘We’ll ask the sisters if they have a spare mattress or something. We can put it in the workshop.’
‘How crowded we’ll be!’ said Lotti. ‘Eleven of us, and we started with just four!’
‘We’ll need more food,’ said Ben. ‘Maybe the sisters could spare some. And we’ll have to look at the map …’
Smiling and full of plans, Ben and Lotti walked together back towards the Sparrowhawk, but as they arrived their faces fell.
Clara and Sam were standing on the jetty, and Clara was holding a telegram.
‘It’s from Henri,’ she said when they reached her. ‘Albert Skinner’s on his way to Buisseau.’
Lotti swallowed. Ben looked at her. She was scared, and with good reason – there was barely a household in Buisseau that didn’t know their story.
‘We’ll leave straight away,’ he said.
‘What?’ said Sam.
‘I’ll explain later. Sam, get your things. We’ll say goodbye, and we’ll go.’
‘But the Sparrowhawk … you said she needed fixing.’
‘She’ll be fine until we get to Lotti’s grandmother.’
Clara’s eyes widened. ‘Lotti’s …?’
Oh, why did grown-ups always have so many questions?
‘WE NEED TO GO,’ Ben yelled. ‘BEFORE ALBERT SKINNER GETS TO BUISSEAU AND SOMEONE TELLS HIM WE ARE HERE!’
Clara and Sam exchanged looks.
The Sparrowhawk left the convent within the hour, waved off by the nuns.
Because she loved Sister Monique and now wouldn’t drink anything but goat’s milk, they left the little puppy Delphine behind, as a token of their thanks.