SCENE 2

The Mayor and the First Lady in the middle of a conversation.

First Lady

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Papameh! Falltimeh ma-Ovo!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Mayor

Scream cry rant rave threaten me curse me denounce me place blame gimmie the finger thumb yr nose tear yr hair out tear my hair out kick the dog kick the servants have some of the poor bumped off yell weep sob moan blubber stomp yr feet curse the gods tell yr father but remind him that not only do I have the army behind me but I answer to the people. I must answer to the people. And those people elected me to lead. And those people elected me to lead for the rest of my life and when they elected me they expected me to produce a son and they elected and expected that son to lead for the rest of his life and so on and so on and so on and so on and so on and —

First Lady

My father will—

Mayor

Your father will nothing. He finds your inability disgraceful.

First Lady

Im yr wife.

Mayor

And Im the Mayor. The people look up to me. They look up to me and they see my right hand dangling. Where I should be holding the hand of my son, or perhaps have my arm resting proudly on the young mans shoulder my right hand is only dangling. Empty. And they see it. And they begin to wonder what kind of man I am. I promised them a greatness that would last a hundred-thousand years but my right hand is dangling empty, Woman.

First Lady

Ive tried. I went to Europe. Saw all those doctors. All of them poking at me. All of them overcharging me because they all knew I was foreign. All the pills they gave me. Suitcases full. And I take them. I take them every day. Ive tried.

Mayor

Yr trying is trying the patience of the people. I cant make any more excuses for you.

First Lady

But you could spend more time with me. Meh Kazo-say greengrass ee-sunny skies ee—

Mayor

And ineffective.

(Rest)

Ive been thoroughly examined. Theres no question as to my effectiveness. I must say I was proud when, after an initially embarrassing moment, the mock-sexual experience into the paper cup (dont kid yrself I didnt think of you while I was at it). How embarrassing it all was. But then to see, under the microscope, all those little men swimming. An army! My own little private army!

The Mayor sings “My Little Army”:

Mayor

Loyalty is the most important thing in an army

And my men have loyalty to me.

They will lay down their lives

So our state will survive.

I find that kind of courage very charming.

I salute the men of my

Little army.

Mayor

The people see your inability as a kind of treason.

First Lady

We’re not at war.

Mayor

But we could be. One day.

First Lady

We are a small town in a small country in the middle of nowhere. Small towns in small countries dont go to war.

Mayor

That kind of thinking is the kind of thinking that keeps us back. Born with a silver spoon in yr mouth never had to work so its no wonder you dont produce.

(Rest)

Yr a disgrace to the nation. Everyone agrees. I should remove you from our townhouse and put you in our country house.

First Lady

Send me to the country house and when everyones forgotten me, yll have one of yr flunkies slit my throat.

Mayor

The people think a rest in the country may help you. Yll have a few days to pack yr things. My hands are tied. Im sorry. Wheres my basket?

First Lady

Right there.

(Rest)

Where are you going?

Mayor

My weekly errands. The Mayor rubs shoulders with the people. After all these years they still like it.

First Lady

One more shot. Please. Just one more.

Mayor

I have errands.

First Lady

Please.

(Rest)

Think of the nation.

First Lady

Mayor

Mayor

Fine.

First Lady

Mayor

Mayor

Come on, lets get going.

She begins to kiss and seduce him.

She is more passionate than he.