Chapter Six

They only just managed to leave a tiny space in the back seat for Cisco, but they weren’t done collecting toys. After they dropped off this first haul at the police station garage, the next collection point was city hall, and Justin worked harder to be jolly for this place than he had at the fire station. He was trying to be jolly for her; Lilly had to give him that.

She didn’t want Justin’s sudden embrace of his inner Santa to end, especially because they’d gotten such great footage of him speaking to some small children—completely unplanned and un-staged—as they walked by the tax assessor’s office and heard a rustling crash.

Justin had hurried to the doorway to look inside; Lilly peered around him to see a small Christmas tree lying on its side. Its ornaments were still rolling across the tiled floor, and the tree’s handmade gold paper star was mashed underneath it.

A pair of giggling, towheaded children—a girl and a boy—wrestled together beside the tree, heedless of their destruction. A red-faced woman with messy hair and a crookedly buttoned coat stood at the counter, her checkbook in her hand. “Stop it, kids. Please. Stop!”

But they didn’t stop, and it was obvious the clerk behind the counter was annoyed; she stood and glared at the children and the fallen tree, her face puckered with disgust and anger.

Justin cleared his throat and stepped into the assessor’s office, then put his hands on his hips and said, “What happened here?” in a quiet, authoritative voice. He sounded like a cop, but gentler. Lilly shivered as goose bumps patterned her skin.

Oh my gosh. Alpha Santa.

The children suddenly snapped to attention, and silence. Cisco moved into the office and kept filming, quickly becoming part of the scenery.

“Um…the tree fell over, Santa,” the boy answered.

“Did it fall?” Justin raised one of his undyed eyebrows. “Or did you knock it over?”

The children looked at their feet, shifting uneasily.

“I’ll clean it up.” Their harried mother put her checkbook down and began moving to the mess on the floor.

But Justin shook his head at her and held up his hand. “You didn’t knock the tree over,” he said. Then he squatted down to the children’s eye level. “Kids, I saw you from my sleigh. I’m doing some pre-Christmas reconnaissance, and when I heard the tree fall, I knew I had to come in and talk to you. You know your mommy is trying to talk to that nice lady behind the counter, right?”

As Justin spoke, the elderly clerk’s cheeks colored, probably because no one ever called her “a nice lady.” Her face split with a grin, and she patted her silvery hair.

Lilly almost fell over when Justin proceeded to wink at the woman, causing her to flush even more brightly.

Justin kept talking to the children in that same level but authoritative voice, apparently unaware of how the formerly angry woman had begun to preen and smile instead of scowl. “So, I’m wondering. You’re not listening to your mom, are you?”

Round-eyed and solemn, they shook their heads.

“Do you think I should keep you on the nice list? Or do you think you should go on the naughty list? You know what children on the naughty list get for Christmas, don’t you?”

“Rocks,” the girl said. “In your stocking.”

Her brother’s face crumpled. “I don’t want rocks!”

Lilly’s heart broke into a million pieces. She wanted to cry herself. They were just little, little children.

“What does your mom think?” He looked at their mother.

“If I can get this done, I know they belong on the nice list, Santa,” she said hopefully.

Lilly had to stop herself from cheering. Everyone deserved to be on the nice list, no matter how bad they were.

Justin nodded, stood up, and ruffled the boy’s hair. “Okay, then. Don’t worry, bro. I won’t give you rocks. But let’s find the ornaments that fell and redecorate the tree while Mommy talks to the nice lady. We can fix this problem and help out, instead of making trouble. That’s what good children do, and your mom said you’re both good children. Right?”

The children nodded enthusiastically, and in no time at all, he had them working. While they busily hung ornaments on the lowest branches, he drew information from them and had everyone smiling.

“The Christmas spirit is strong with this one,” Cisco told her as he changed camera batteries, and Lilly had to admit—it was. Right now, anyway. This take-charge but patient man was the Justin she remembered, the one who had enjoyed Christmas and laughed often.

She couldn’t keep her eyes off him. Even if watching him made her knees grow weak and her body shivery.

Lilly told herself it was because he had incredible interviewing skills, probably the best she’d ever seen. He’d learned it from interrogating felons, not preschoolers, but he would have been a great reporter as he, she, the office worker, and the potential viewers of Channel 10 learned that Aidan and Grace lived with their mom. They had a dog named Max who sometimes pooped in the house, a cat named Fifi who pooped in a box, and they both wanted Legos (but no pink ones) for Christmas.

They also wanted a dinosaur.

Hearing this, Justin had settled onto a nearby bench, then leaned back and furrowed his brow. In moments, Aidan had climbed up to sit on one of his knees, while Grace did the same by sitting on his other knee. Lilly’s breath caught and heart clenched; she’d never seen him with small children. It was hormone-inducing.

Stop that, she told her body. There will be no maternal hormone flooding. But she couldn’t stop the sluice of feelings coursing through her; nothing stirred a woman’s heart like a handsome man—even one in an ancient velveteen costume—and little kids.

“What will you do with a dinosaur?” Justin asked, and Cisco moved in closer with his camera.

“Max is no good at fighting bad guys because he’s a Pomeranian, and neither is Fifi, because she’s just a cat,” Aidan said. “But if the bad guys come to hurt us and Mommy, a dinosaur will eat them.”

“Yeah. The bad guys killed our daddy. He was in a war. He’s dead now, but he’s still a hero,” Grace said.

Lilly’s throat tightened, and she realized that she wasn’t the only person suddenly fighting unexpected tears.

Even Justin cleared his throat. He hugged the children. “Your daddy would be glad you’re thinking about taking care of your mommy like this.”

They nodded. Then Grace frowned and slapped her forehead. “We’ll need to figure out where the dinosaur will poop!” she exclaimed.

“The poop might be as big as our house!” Aidan held up his hands in wonder, and then, as only small children could do, they jumped down to discuss the issue in excited voices.

“Maybe he can poop on the bad guys,” Justin said.

They collapsed into giggles, holding their little bellies and slapping their legs. In seconds the sadness was gone.

Even Cisco laughed.

Justin winked at Lilly, then stood up and approached the children’s mother. He shook her hand, thanked her for her husband’s sacrifice, and wished her a Merry Christmas. Then they left to collect the toys from the donation point.

But before they left city hall, Justin stopped back in the tax assessor’s office, where he flashed his badge and got the little family’s address. Lilly’s heart warmed. Justin couldn’t take the children a dinosaur, but he was going to make sure the family of a fallen hero had a lot of toys to play with at Christmas.

…

It was the final scheduled stop of the day. Lilly stood watching Justin endure the harassment he received from his fellow cops from the other side of the city. They, too, had collected a bunch of toys, and even though he’d already taken two sacks full to the car, he had more to carry out. She tried not to notice how the ill-fitting suit stretched to the seams as he bent and hoisted the bags over his broad shoulders, and failed. Even the sleeves threatened to pop over his biceps. He was just too much man for Santa’s suit. “Can I help?”

Justin turned to face her. “This is my beat, my job,” Justin told her. “Stay inside where it’s warm. It’s cold out there.” He sniffed. “They’re predicting some kind of weather, and I think they got it right. It smells like snow. I just want to get this done as fast as possible in case it does.” He pushed the door open and went out to the sleigh. Car. Whatever.

“Suit yourself,” Lilly muttered. What a poop head. He was so stubborn. “I hope it does snow.”

Cisco came over from where he’d been filming. “Look,” he said and pointed. The sign on the wall said Interrogation Rooms, but a ball of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling over that had another sign dangling underneath: Kiss a Cop, it read. Cisco nudged her, then gestured to Justin with his chin as he came back in to get the other bags. And then he pointed at the mistletoe ball. “You should.”

Lilly’s stomach flip-flopped, and her knees went wobbly. “I should not.”

“Suit yourself, but it would make for better ratings. People love that stuff. You know, mistletoe and Christmas.” Cisco shrugged and lifted the camera back into place in front of his face to continue shooting the cops ribbing Justin.

She had to admit, watching cops kid cops wasn’t very Christmassy, or very interesting, to be honest. Cisco was right. People loved the silly, sweet innocence of a mistletoe kiss.

Except Lilly was pretty sure kissing Justin wouldn’t be so silly, or sweet, and was confident it could never be innocent. Not the way she felt about him. Just the thought made her heart skip a beat and her breath catch. The truth was, she’d always wanted to kiss Justin.

Which is exactly why it’s a bad idea.

But her ratings… And this job. It meant a home, finally. A place to belong, and a family who loved her as their own. What harm was one little mistletoe kiss? It wouldn’t mean anything, and it would add some fun to the story.

Besides, it was just a peck, no big deal. Lilly squared her shoulders, tossed the tails of her scarf over her shoulder, and moved to stand with Justin. “Um…Cisco wants to get a shot of us under the mistletoe.” She took a breath to steady her nerves and smiled up at him as if kissing him on the lips were something she did all the time, that the idea of it didn’t make her skin tingle as if warmed by a fire on a snowy day.

Justin’s ears went red. He glared at her. “No way. I’m not kissing you.”

Lilly’s pride pricked. “What? Why not?”

“Because—because I just won’t, is all.”

“What’s the matter, Santa? Not man enough to kiss your elf?”

Lilly knew he’d rather rot in Christmas hell before he’d let another cop win at taunting him.

For the ratings, she told herself, and then she said to the cop, “Apparently not. Santa is afraid he’ll get cooties.”

“I am not afraid I’ll get cooties.” Justin pulled the beard from his face and glared at his fellow officers. “You know what? You guys suck.”

They laughed.

His ears grew redder. And his eyes sparked, dark fire.

Lilly’s knees wobbled.

“Fine.” He bent and pecked her cheek. Lilly felt a shiver of disappointment—and relief.

A chorus of boos rose around them. She looked over to see Cisco grinning behind the camera. He gave her a thumbs-down. “Sorry,” he said. “I missed it. Do it again!”

Unbelievable.

She reached out, grabbed Justin by his fake-fur collar, and pulled his face toward hers. “This is for my ratings. Please?”

“I don’t give a hoot about your ratings,” he muttered.

“But your mom does. She’s already trying to convince me to move out of the hotel and into Hannah’s old bedroom,” she said. Because it was true.

Justin narrowed his eyes. “Not fair, Maddox.” Then he moved in with a kiss.

She reached up to him. His biceps were hard, his shoulders wide, as she pulled him forward and down so she could press her mouth to his. Stiff lips pressed against hers. Not very festive kissing, she thought. It will look like crap, and no one will enjoy it. Not that I want to enjoy it, but…it’s for the viewers. Make it good, she thought, and swept her tongue against his lips until he opened his mouth. Their breaths mingled as the sensations and taste of Justin washed over her. Then he pulled her up against his body and even with Santa padding between them, they seemed to fit together perfectly. She forgot everything else; the only thing that mattered was feeling Justin’s mouth on hers and his broad, muscular back flexing beneath her fingertips.

Kissing Justin was everything she’d ever imagined it would be, and something more.

Too soon, she became aware of the applause, hoots, and catcalls from their squad room audience and opened her eyes; seconds later, Justin opened his own.

Holy…wow. They stared at each other. She saw the same awe she felt about their kiss reflected in his eyes, but now wasn’t the time or place to figure out what had happened. Or to do it again.

As if that would happen. It couldn’t. It wouldn’t.

She stepped away, reluctant to let go of him. She didn’t want to look at him, but she couldn’t face the roomful of cops, either. She felt naked and exposed. She covered her lips with her fingers—they were wet and sensitive to her touch. Justin’s touch. Justin…

“I have to… I’ll be…” She turned toward the door. But then Cisco shoved the microphone at her, and she remembered what she was supposed to be doing, and why. She swallowed to compose herself and looked at the camera. “Well. Wow, is all I can say.” Lilly reached behind her then and grabbed at Justin, finding his hand and wrapping her fingers around his. He held on tightly.

She pulled him to stand beside her. “Let me tell you, viewers. If Santa wanted to set up a kissing booth, he could raise enough money to buy a toy store! Because he…” She turned to look up at him; his ears were red, and he looked more Grinch-like than ever. Still, Lilly had to smile. He’d been rocked to the core by their kiss, too. She could forgive him for looking miserable.

“His kisses will ring your sleigh bells!” She gave the cops who’d teased him a glare. “And you can stuff that in your stockings.”

…

Driving through the park separating the two sides of the city, Justin couldn’t think of a single thing to say. Lilly couldn’t, either, apparently. For once, she was quiet.

There was a whole lot of awkward thrown up like a wall between them, and he wasn’t sure how he could break it down. Worse, his head was still spinning from their kiss.

Wasn’t this just his luck? He’d finally gotten the chance to kiss Lilly, and it had to be in front of a roomful of cops. And on camera. It couldn’t even be something he truly enjoyed.

Even so, it had been pretty damn good. He could have stayed there kissing her all night—

“Stop the car,” Lilly shouted suddenly.

Justin jammed on the brakes so hard, they nearly got whiplash. “What? What’s wrong?”

“It’s starting to snow!” Lilly exclaimed, as if she’d never seen the white stuff before.

“Holy moly. You needed to scream about that? Huh. The weather report was right.” Justin peered up through the windshield to see flakes spiraling out of the gray sky. “How old are you, anyway? Ten?”

“I’ve been in the Middle East and in L.A. for the past four years. And this is the first snow of the year.” She practically bounced on her seat, scrambling to undo her seat belt. “I’ve missed snow. Pull over? Cisco, get the camera ready—this will be perfect for my piece.”

Justin couldn’t help but wrinkle his nose. “The winter’s barely started. I hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to have a bad one… Hey. Put your seat belt back on.”

“I want to catch a snowflake.”

“You’re going to catch pneumonia.”

She pouted at him. “You’re no fun.”

His heart flip-flopped. She looked so pretty. What the heck? He frowned. “No fun? I’m wearing a Santa suit and driving a car with a plastic snowman on top. How much more fun do I need to be?”

“You’re only doing that because your boss made you do it. And you’re only driving this car because you have to.” She lifted her chin and flipped her hair over her shoulder, defiant and flirty. Justin’s mouth grew dry. Stop that, he told himself. You’re not allowed to feel this way about Lilly. Even if that kiss was like nothing else you’ve ever experienced.

He rolled his eyes and pulled over to the curb. He realized he was grumbling for show; part of him—and he couldn’t believe that there even was one—was enjoying Lilly’s reaction to the white stuff. “Fine. I’ll pull over. How are you going to catch a snowflake?”

“On my tongue,” she said, and hopped out of the car. “Catching one of the first snowflakes brings good luck.” She slammed the door behind her and started dancing along the sidewalk with her mouth open and her head tilted back.

Justin turned to look at Cisco; as usual, he was filming. “It’s just snow, right?” The cameraman didn’t answer, he just gave a slight noncommittal shrug, then climbed out as Lilly opened his door.

“Forget I asked,” Justin said, getting out of the car just as a sudden wind whistled past. “It’s freezing out here. Wait. Cisco—get my coat from the back seat. Lilly, put this on.” He grabbed the coat from the cameraman’s hand and thrust it at her.

She took the coat and slipped it on but didn’t zip it; it hung off her like a black sleeping bag with a badge attached. She was going to freeze to death. Silly Lilly never takes care of herself. He resisted the urge to move closer to zip it up.

There are other ways to keep her warm. Justin frowned at his own thoughts and grumbled at her instead. “Come on. Haven’t you caught one yet?”

“Yes! Come try it, Justin. Come catch a snowflake.” She began hopping around like a deranged…well…elf, her bells ringing merrily. “The first snow of the year is lucky snow, so catching it on your tongue means you’ll have lots of luck.”

Justin didn’t have the heart to tell her that while this was the first snow of the new winter season, it wasn’t the first snow of the year. It was just snow. It was always just snow, and it caused traffic accidents, burst pipes, and all kinds of chaos for a cop on the job.

She hopped-danced over to Justin and grabbed his hand. “Come on!”

He looked over to Cisco for some support. Nothing. The man was a single-eyed robot. “Lilly.”

“Come on.” She tugged him to the grass just coated with a thin layer of white. The snow that had barely been there moments ago was now falling in earnest. “Try it.”

He stood there, watching her spinning about with her face to the sky. Her silky red curls spilled down her back, her arms spread out to the side, his jacket hanging off her like wings…she was beautiful. He’d always thought so, even when they were just kids. But it was more than that. She was happy, full of the joy that Justin hadn’t felt in so very long…it made her glow. And it made him want her with every dark and bitter part of his heart and soul. He didn’t know how to tell her so without sounding like a lovesick twit. He never had known how. Besides, it was probably better for her to not know his true feelings.

Heck, he wished he didn’t even know his true feelings.

She tilted her head forward so she could face him head-on and pout with soft pink lips. His knees weakened.

“Justin, this is supposed to be fun. Don’t you remember how to have fun anymore?”

“I’m a cop. Fun’s for other people.” That was the truth. He hadn’t had fun in a very long time. There wasn’t anything to have fun about. Maybe playing basketball with the guys, or softball in the spring…mostly, just staying safe and quiet was what he focused on. Staying alive. “Come on, Lilly. We need to drop off these toys.”

“Catch a snowflake. Just one.” She wrapped her fingers around his. “I won’t get back in the car until you do it.”

Justin was torn between doing his job and wanting to stay there, watching Lilly for the entire afternoon. “Fine. Here.” He tilted his face to the sky and opened his mouth. A flake spiraled into his eye and melted with an icy sting. “Ow! See? This is a bad idea. I think my eye is frozen.”

She smacked his shoulder. “Close your eyes, you goof.”

Justin shook his head. “If I close my eyes, I can’t see.” I can’t keep you safe.

“See what? Attack squirrels? Lighten up and close your eyes!”

Justin closed his eyes even though every muscle and nerve in his body screamed in protest—snipers, not squirrels, and there had been some, and good people died on my watch when I wasn’t paying attention—and tilted his head back to catch a snowflake on his tongue. This is such a bad idea.

“’Ot ung et?” Lilly asked. “Uh ha’ to kee uhr outh oh-en.”

“Uh-uh—gack!” Justin coughed as a flake landed at the back of his throat. “One just tried to choke me. Does that count?” In spite of his panic, a little of her cheery glow found its way to him. He used to love this game. Spinning around and around under a snowy sky, trying to be the first one to catch an icy flake on his tongue.

Beside him, Lilly clapped. “Yes! You got one. Make a wish and then get another.” She resumed her snowflake-catching position.

“I wish we could get back in the car,” he said. Not true, but he didn’t want her to know how much he was enjoying this. Besides, the thought of snipers flickered at the fringes of his mind. He knew it was a foolish fear, but some things were hard to shake off.

She smacked his arm. “That’s a terrible wish. Make another.”

“I wish the snow would stop trying to kill me?”

“Justin. Come on, get into the spirit of it!” She locked her sparkling green eyes on him. His heart clenched. Hesitantly, Justin tipped his head back and closed his eyes. His real wish was to wrap his arms around her, pull her to him, and kiss her senseless. Again. But he would not wish that aloud, or even to himself.

It was one thing under a ball of mistletoe, but now he had no excuse. He half opened his eyes to look at the snowflakes settling in her burnished hair, on her hat, and on her shirt. He couldn’t help but notice the way her breasts pressed outward and rounded as she leaned back, or the way, when she tilted her face to the sky and closed her eyes, that it was easy to imagine making love to her.

This was not good. Not good at all.

No. At the police station, he’d had the excuse of mistletoe to excuse his behavior. But now—he couldn’t just kiss her, especially with the camera rolling.

Justin closed his eyes. Better not to look. Or think. But when Lilly’s fingers tangled tightly with his own, his heart swelled. He’d give anything to kiss her again.