February 1997. ‘What is it with you and Max Lesser?’ says Basil to Lola. They’re having lunch at The Cheshire Cheese in Fleet Street. Lots of newspaper people there, upholding pints and their reputation for alcohol consumption while analysing the latest scandals, sports, and political news. Cheerful noises all around.
‘Basil,’ says Lola, ‘I’ll try to put this as gently as I can.’
‘Put what?’ says Basil.
‘If,’ says Lola, ‘I were to ask my boyfriend to stand up, you’d have to remain seated.’
‘It’s like that, is it?’
‘I’m afraid so.’
‘This is a very sudden dismissal.’
‘Not really. You and I have not been an item for quite a long time. What we had was more of a lifestyle thing than a romance.’
‘And you’re serious about Lesser, are you?’
‘That’s nothing you need concern yourself with.’
‘I think it is. I’ll always care about what happens to you.’
‘That’s sweet of you but try not to care too much.’
‘Do you think you’ll be happy with him?’
‘Can we talk about something else? Have you had any interesting new cases?’
‘I think this Jewish-intellectual fling of yours is a delayed adolescent revolt,’ says Basil. ‘This guy is no one for you to give your heart to. Let alone other parts. There’ll come a time when you’ll wish you still had good old suitable Baz.’
‘When that happens,’ says Lola, ‘you’ll be the second to know.’
‘Have you read his books?’ says Basil.
‘I’ve read the most recent one.’
‘Any That You Can Not Put Downe came out almost four years ago,’ says Basil. ‘He seems to be having a dry spell.’
‘Three and a half years don’t make a dry spell.’
‘Have you read Ten Thousand Several Doors and Turn Down An Empty Glass?’
‘No.’
‘You should. They’re long since out of print but I borrowed them from one of our clerks. Lesser always writes about the same thing: himself.’
‘Lots of writers do that,’ says Lola.
‘But they don’t all stick to a pattern the way Lesser does. In all three novels the protagonist betrays the woman who loves him and then she goes out of his life and he tries to win her back. In this last novel she’s topped herself and put a curse on him and he’s trying to get her ghost to lift the curse. I doubt that Ladbroke’s would give very good odds on Lesser in the Fidelity Stakes.’
‘You’ve really done your homework,’ says Lola, ‘but then you always do. It’s nice to see you so excited about something. I’m sure that one of these days you’ll find a woman who appreciates you.’
‘I think you’re going to be sorry about the choice you’re making.’
‘Maybe,’ says Lola. ‘But I won’t be bored.’