January 1998. Max writes:
CHARLOTTE PRICKLES ON FROG HOLLOW ROAD
Cars went very fast on Frog Hollow Road. Many hedgehogs never reached the other side. Charlotte Prickles put up a sign that said HEDGEHOG CROSSING – SLOW DOWN. But it was a very small sign and it was written in Hedgehog. Even if they saw it, drivers could not read it.
‘Are you sitting comfortably?’ says Max’s mind.
‘No,’ says Max.
‘That’s not a very cosy opening,’ says his mind. ‘Could do better?’
‘OK,’ says Max. He starts again:
The big hand of the clock is at twelve.
The little hand is at three.
It is three o’clock in the afternoon.
It is bedtime at the Frog Hollow Orphanage.
Charlotte Prickles reads the little hedgehogs a bedtime story. She reads The Hog in the Bog. Then all the little hedgehogs kneel by their beds and say their prayers. They pray that they will reach the other side of the road when they go out this evening.
‘Do we want to bring in real danger?’ says Max’s mind.
‘Hedgehogs lead dangerous lives,’ says Max.
‘Whom do they pray to?’ says his mind.
‘I don’t know,’ says Max. ‘Big Spikey, the hedgehog in the sky?’
‘Let’s bypass that for now,’ says his mind. ‘Continue.’
Max writes:
Charlotte Prickles kisses each one.
She tucks them all in.
She takes up her darning basket and
she darns all the socks with holes.
‘I like that,’ says Max’s mind. ‘That’s cosy.’
Max continues:
Then Charlotte goes to sleep.
She has a strange dream and wakes up.
She does not wake the orphans.
She goes outside and sees the moon.
It is a full moon.
The moon is the colour of pale honey.
Charlotte tastes the moon with her eyes.
She tastes it with her mouth.
The sweetness of it makes her sad.
‘Why does the sweetness of the moon make her sad?’ says Max’s mind.
‘The basic hedgehog condition is sadness,’ says Max. ‘Charlotte is thinking of how many hedgehogs have tasted the sweetness of the moon, all of them gone in the whisper of the trees and the rustling of the years.’
‘Whoa, boy,’ says Max’s mind. ‘This kind of thinking is not going to get Charlotte all the way to the bank.’
Max ignores this and carries on:
Charlotte sees the moonlit trees.
She sees the white road.
She hears the rushing of cars.
She sees the headlights.
She smells the night.
‘Where are we going with this?’ says Max’s mind. ‘Is she thinking of crossing the road? There’s an awful lot of traffic right now.’
‘The moon is kind of pulling her,’ says Max.
‘What’s on the other side of the road anyhow?’ says his mind.
‘Maybe she’s just going to the shops,’ says Max.
‘Doesn’t sound that way,’ says his mind.
‘Maybe things are better on the other side,’ says Max.
‘Steady on,’ says his mind. ‘Charlotte sounds as if she’s stoned. I don’t think she’s in a fit state to cross the road. After all, we don’t want her to get flat.’
‘I’m flat,’ says Max. ‘I’m a flat orphan.’
‘That’s no reason to piss on your meal ticket,’ says his mind. ‘Leave this for now, we can come back to it another time.’
‘I keep looking for another time,’ says Max. ‘But this seems to be the only one there is.’