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“Clove, you sure about this?” Xavier whispers to me. Since we live in the same neighborhood, we’re meeting at the street light between our houses. It only took Xavier two and a half days to make this for me and in that time, he’s drilled me on questions. Now he’s having second thoughts as he holds it in his hands.
“First of all, why are you whispering?" I ask. "It’s just us out here. Second, yes, I’m sure.”
Xavier pushes his dreads back over his forehead. He’s the exact same complexion as my father and fits in the category of tall, dark, and handsome. Up until last year, he’d been too nerdy to notice girls noticing him. Kinda like what’s been happening to JJ lately. Girls have been paying more attention to both of them and it’s so odd.
“JJ is gonna kill me and so is your Pops," he says.
JJ? Why is he worried about JJ and my dad? I plan to get the piercing after school tomorrow when Dad leaves for his ministers conference. He won’t see it. Gram is staying with me, but I think she’ll be more lenient than Dad. She got her ears pierced when she was my age.
“Just wanna make sure you’re not trying to do nothing stupid,” he says.
Define stupid, is what I want to say.
“I need you to talk to me. Tell me you’re not doing nothing crazy with this.”
“How much?” is all the response I give him.
“Promise me you’re just getting a piercing and that’s it. You’re not going to buy alcohol, right?”
I suck my teeth. He can’t possibly think that after seeing what happened to my mama that I would actually go out and buy alcohol.
“How much?” I repeat more firmly this time.
Xavier shakes his head. The I.D. is still in his hand. “A nose piercing is very obvious. You can’t hide it like a tattoo. People are going to ask you questions and this whole no talking thing you got goin’ on, is not going to work very long. Maybe you should just actually get your ears pierced first. You’re going straight for the nose? Really?”
He has a point. Maybe I’ll get my ears pierced too but then again, I don’t have money for both. I’ve saved allowance and birthday money, but I’ll need some money for the college tour.
Xavier sighs and hands me the card. “Alright. Look, don’t show JJ, and definitely don’t show your Pops.”
I turn the card over and feel the smoothness of it. Xavier snaps his finger in my face. “Hello? I just asked who’s piercing you?”
Oh. Guess I zoned out. “Downtown. Kinsey’s shop.”
Xavier makes a face. “How do you know Kinsey? You been in his shop?”
“Yeah.”
“With who?”
Why so many questions? I don’t tell him but he quickly figures it out.
“You went with Trevor to get his new tattoo, didn’t you?”
Either Jessa told him or he just knows. I’m gonna guess both.
“When are you going?”
“Tomorrow after school.”
“Can I come too? I wanna see if you’re actually going to go through with this.”
I shrug. Jessa’s taking me. I don’t care that he comes. I want JJ to come too but he’ll just try to talk me out of it.
“You need money?” Xavier asks, already taking out a wad of cash and flipping through it. Whoa! How many fakes does he make in a week? I shake my head, although I appreciate him wanting to take care of me like that. Wait, why is he giving me money when I owe him?
I ask him once more how much he wants for the card and I begin to take out my own cash. The street light comes on and we stand beside it. Just enough light to see but not enough to be seen.
“Nothing. It’s on me. Just let me come with you. I’ll take JJ home after school and then I’ll ride with you and Jessa.”
I don’t argue with him on the money nor with letting him come too. We part ways and return to our houses.
***
“BUTTERCUP,” MAMA WHISPERS.
“Mama?”
“Sweet Clove. I love you. I miss you.”
“Mama?” I hear her, but I can’t see her. Where is she? I’ve only had one dream of Mama after she died and that was the day before I went to school and walked out into that tornado. In the dream there was also a tornado and I stood and got swallowed up by it. In the center was Mama’s silhouette, but in this dream it’s completely the opposite. I can hear Mama’s voice, but I can’t see her.
“Mama!”
“You are wonderfully made.” I hear her voice whisper. There's a sharp pain in my nostril on the left side only. At first it was a quick shoot of pain but now it’s throbbing. The room transforms into a wall of hedges. I try turning but run into a wall of ivy that climbs to the top. I’m in some type of weird labyrinth. I run ahead and see the tail end of a long white dress. The whispers continue.
“You are wonderfully made.” Every time I hear her voice it’s those words. The very words she’d say to me when I first started struggling with the appearance of my vitiligo. I keep chasing the gown, but can’t catch it.
She whispers again. “God does not look at the outward appearance but what’s in the heart.”
“Mama please! Please wait! I want to see you.”
Every corner she turns, I can only see her white garment. Where is she going? Doesn’t she want to see me too?
Everything starts to fade and my nostril starts to hurt even more. Wait, wait, wait! No! No! I have to catch up to her.
Then I hear buzzing. It’s the same buzzing that I heard when Trevor got his tattoo. My vision is blurry but Jessa and Xavier’s face start to come into view.
Jessa blows out air. “Oh mah gawd, Clove. Whew. You had us nervous for a minute.”
Xavier hands me a soda. “Yeah, you gotta say something when you feel faint like that.”
Jessa tells me to drink it because it’ll help. I now recognize where I am. The designs on the wall, the buzzing of someone getting a tattoo. And my nose... oh mercy! My nose hurts so bad. I reach my finger up to touch it but Jessa and Xavier shout “No!” at the same time.
The pink-haired girl I saw the other day is sitting on a short, swivel stool beside me. I focus in on her name tag; Crystol
I want to see my nose ring. “Can I see it?”
She hands me a mirror and I smile at the small shiny stud in my nose. I like the piercing, it gives me an edge. Crystol tells me how to care for it and then gives me a fact sheet that lists all the do’s and don’ts. She also gives me some cleaning solution.
Jessa and Xavier lean in. Having them examine me so close is sort of uncomfortable.
“What?” I ask.
Jessa stands upright and turns to Xavier. “Ya know, it actually looks good on her,” she says to him.
Xavier folds his arms over his chest. "I don't like it." Jessa smacks him in the stomach with the back of her hand. It makes a thwack sound.
“Tell me you didn’t do this because Trevor said you’d be cute with one.” Jessa says.
I glare at Jessa. She couldn’t keep a cat in the bag if she tried.
Xavier’s eyes are like an owl’s. “Seriously? That’s why you did this bullcrap? Cause of him? Wow, Clove.”
I put the mirror down. “No, Xave. I did it for me. You only live once right? So I’m living.”
Jessa and Xavier are both silent for a moment but then Jessa grins. “We should get your ears pierced next.”
Xavier frowns. “Don’t encourage her to do more. Getting her ears pierced will just draw further attention to the nose. Plus she fainted. I don’t think it’s a good idea to get her nose and ears pierced on the same day.”
Jessa rolls her eyes. “Geez Dad, can you try not to suck all the fun out of life?”
“Me? I don’t suck fun out of life. I’m the most fun person ever.”
“You are not. You’re acting like her big brother or her dad or something. Chill.”
“I am chill.”
Crystol ignores their old-couple bickering and asks me, “Do you want your ears pierced too? If you think you can handle all three piercings then we can do it. But you really have to take care of them the way we discussed. Clean the area twice a day. Oh, and no makeup near the nose. I told you that, right?”
She did but since I don’t wear makeup it’s not a problem.
Xavier mouths “No” but Jessa gives me a thumbs up. I think Xavier is right. The earrings will only draw more attention to my nose, although I’ve always wanted my ears pierced. Mama and I just hadn’t gotten around to getting them done.
“Let’s do it,” I tell Crystol.
“What?”
“Yes!”
Xavier and Jessa speak at the same time and I almost laugh. When Crystol tells me the amount, I remember that I didn’t bring enough money and my mood changes. Jessa pulls out her card and hands it to her.
Xavier puts his hands over his face. “God forgive me. What have I done?”
Jessa rolls her eyes. “Stop being dramatic, Xave. Clove, this is going to be so cool!” she squeals.
“You know you’re going to have to be extra careful, even to blow your nose now,” Xavier informs me.
“Shuddup, Xave.”
He ignores Jessa and continues. “And you’ll get more bats in the cave trying to be careful.”
“Shut. Up.” Jessa says through gritted teeth.
“You might be stressing your body out with all of this at one time,” he states like it’s a fact. And maybe it is. But Crystol has our money now and there are no refunds, so I can’t turn back.
Jessa tells me to drink more soda. Next, she pulls out some crackers from her purse and tells me to eat.
Xavier goes outside, declaring he can’t stand to watch.
“Wimp,” Jessa calls after him and then giggles. “So what’s up with you and Trevor?”
Crystol stands by the cash register and then types on a computer. Trevor’s Uncle Kinsey is busy tattooing someone and I doubt he can hear us over the buzzing.
“Have you two talked on the phone or are you still giving one liners and one-word answers?”
Trevor and I text some but I don’t say much. I’m trying to say more. I just can’t get out of my own head, and to be honest I’m not ready to. “We’re just texting.”
Jessa seems like she’s debating with herself. I know she wants to tell me something. Before I can ask her what happened between her and Trevor, Xavier comes back inside and hands me a phone. “Here. JJ wants to talk to you.”
Jessa’s facial expression completely changes. “Xave! What are we? Five again? Why would you call him, you big tattletale!”
I take the phone from Xavier and put it up to my ear. Xavier and Jessa walk outside the parlor. Xavier is calm but Jessa’s hands and arms move like she’s on fire. They fight like a couple even though they’re not. Both say they’re not interested in each other but I’m not sure I believe it.
I put the phone to my ear. Adah is babbling and banging on something in the background.
“Adah,” JJ calls her. “Ssshhhh. I’m on the phone ok?”
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he says. The background banging resumes. “Sorry hold on.” I wait for him to tell me why I shouldn’t get my ears pierced or how he can’t believe I got my nose pierced.
“Can you come over after you’re done? I want to see your piercings.”
I bring the phone to my face to make sure Xavier called the right JJ. That’s it? That’s what he wants to tell me? Surprised he didn’t try to lecture me with some scientific stuff about fainting and body piercings. “Ok, I’ll be right over.”
“See you soon.” He hangs up. That did it. I don’t want my ears pierced. At least not right now. Something about the way he said piercings with an s, put a bad taste in my mouth.
I go to the register. “You know, I think I’m going to wait. Can I make an appointment for another day?”
Crystol gives me Jessa’s card back. “I ain’t charge the card yet. Kinda figured you might back out. Your friend is right, you should wait on the lobes, ‘specially since you fainted.”
I thank her and walk out with the stuff to take care of my nose. Maybe I’ll be grounded. Which is fine. I’m not doing anything exciting until the trip anyway.
I hand Xavier his phone and Jessa her card back. Both of them look at my ears.
“Told ya JJ would talk her out of it,” Xavier exclaims.
“Uggghhh,” Jessa cries in frustration. “You two are such dweebs! You know what, Clove? Are there any more spots available on the college tour? I think I want to come now because JJ is seriously going to ruin all your fun.”
I’m highly doubting that, especially since he sent me that pic of the roller coaster. Last I heard there were two spots left on the tour so I hold up two fingers. My face turns towards Xavier. I want him to go as well.
“Maybe I’ll go too then,” he says. “Just to make sure nothing gets out of hand with y'all two.”
A sense of relief goes through me at the idea that I’ll get to spend spring break with my besties.