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Where am I? My heart beats so fast that I think it’s going to burst out of my chest. I rise to my feet and survey the area. I’m downtown. Kate’s Cakes and Coffee is to the right of me. The Government building is to the left of me. Aromas of fresh bread and pastries draw me into the bakery and the bell over the door chimes as I walk in.
“Be right with you,” a voice calls from the back. What is going on? I hadn’t been here since January. Nothing’s changed. Everything’s still the same. The signs, the punny posters like Donut forget a napkin, They see Me Rollin-with a picture of a rolling pin, All this sugar, got me hooked-with a mixer and hook attached; they’re all still hanging on the wall. I used to think these posters were funny. It’s making me smile even though this whole scene is perplexing.
My breath draws in as the woman who greeted me wipes her hands on a towel in the back. Her apron is tied around her petite frame. Her short, curly afro is covered with a hair net. I can almost smell her scent of cinnamon, vanilla, and clove from here.
“Good morning, Buttercup! What can I get you?”
I can’t talk. I really can’t form words because I think I’m dreaming—I should be dreaming but this feels so real. I reach out to touch her and meet flesh, warm flesh. This doesn’t make any sense. Am I dead?
She comes from behind the counter and swallows me into the tightest hug that only she can give.
Tears fill my eyes.
“Don’t you cry now, sweetie. I am very happy here. The pay is good, the hours aren’t long, I’m doing what I love and I get to sleep in a really big mansion. Would you like to see it?”
Around us there are a few customers sitting down, reading newspapers or tablets, and sipping mugs steaming with hot liquid. Are we just gonna leave the customers in here?
Mama smiles as if she’s read my thoughts. “They’ll be fine. Come with me.”
She takes my hand, leading me back outside where the front bakery sign says Honey’s Sweets.
I’m finally able to speak. “Mama, this is your bakery now?”
Mama grins. “Yes! You like it?”
I love it. I nod again. My feet are standing on gold bricks. Not yellow-gold, but real gold. Downtown looks brand new, bright, and beautiful. It’s like seeing the Wizard of OZ in full HD color but far better.
In the blink of an eye I see a mansion that’s so big, I can’t take it all in. It’s surrounded by gates made of pearl with people guarding it.
The gates open and Mama points. “My home is in there. I was waiting at the shop for you,” she tells me. Her brilliant white smile reaches her eyes as she gently grabs my chin. “I’m so glad you came back,” she whispers.
I don’t know what she means by “back.” I’ve never been here before. I thought I had, but I hadn’t. Everything here is almost indescribable.
“You’ve come back to your first love,” she says. “In life, the road gets messy and the journey has twists and turns. You will stumble, you will trip, you may fall, but always remember to come back. To get back up and stay the course. Ok, Buttercup?”
I understand so I nod. An orange butterfly, identical to the one JJ and I saw, lands on her shoulder. Butterflies be crazy! How did she get it to land on her shoulder?
Mama smiles. “I got your message. You know that I love you always. I have to go now and so do you.” She begins to fade and float away.
“Mama wait,” I call after her. There are so many things to say, so many questions I want to ask. “Clove, I will always be with you,” her voice becomes a whisper. She blows me a kiss and I blow one back. The vision before me starts to blur and fade.
My eyes open and focus on the numbers of the alarm clock. 9:00 a.m.
I’m in shock. Finally, I’ve had a dream of Mama and I haven’t woken up at 5 a.m. The sleep, the dream, the way I feel, it’s all good. Mama’s all good. There’s this peacefulness I feel that I just can’t seem to explain. I smile to myself. Then I reach for my phone.
Me: Good morning! How’s Science Camp so far?
I know in the mornings JJ is usually busy with his campers, but just maybe he’ll have a break to reply back. I wait for a few seconds.
JJ: Hey!!! Good Morning! Science camp is good. Kind of crazy, but good. How’s ATL w/ ur Aunt Didi?
Me: It’s cool. Guess what?
JJ: What?
Me: I finally had a dream about my mom. She was in heaven, owned her own bakery and everything. I swear I saw and felt her like it was the real thing.
JJ: That’s amahsome! I’m glad you got to see her!
Me: Amahsome???
JJ: Amazing and awesome. These kids got me combining words.
Me: LOL! Crazy thing, that butterfly we whispered to was there on her shoulder. Weird right?
JJ: Not weird, I think that’s beautiful.
He’s right, the dream was beautiful. I want to tell him more but I also want to tell him that I miss him, even though we’re only a week into our summer vacay. JJ left town right after Xavier and Jessa’s graduation.
Me: I miss u
I decide to just go for it. Friends tell each other they miss each other, right?
JJ: I miss u two
JJ: *too
There go those feelings again. We agreed to be friends, but sometimes when he says things, it still gives me butterflies inside.
JJ: May I text u later? We’re getting ready for a hike.
Me: Sure. Have fun! Talk to u in 6 weeks!
JJ: Um, no. I meant later as in later tonight. I can’t go that long without talking to u.
See. Things like that put flutters inside my stomach. He always knows when to say the right things. I think about sending him a blushing emoticon, but instead I choose something different.
Me: 🦋
I put my phone down and get out of bed, but then it vibrates.
JJ: 🦋🦋