Seth bolted from a deep sleep at the sound of pure terror in his father’s voice. Kicking free of the covers, he lunged out of bed and hopped on the cold floor. His breath fanned out, wisps of fog in the chilly air. His feet met icy tiles as he darted to Lance’s room and halted in the doorway, frozen in fear at the all-too-real struggle his father engaged in while asleep.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard Lance’s admonition from years ago…. “Don’t touch me. Call from the door or the foot of the bed but don’t touch me when I’m asleep. No matter what, Seth. You understand?”
His heart clenched. I do now, Dad.
He called Lance’s name softly, then louder. When Lance continued to wrestle with the demons in his mind, Seth took a step closer. “Dad! Wake up. You’re having a nightmare.”
Lance stilled but didn’t wake. Seth continued to coax him out of the place of war he’d ventured into. He groaned, relaxed his hold on the blanket clenched against his chest. Turned his head toward Seth’s voice.
“Seth?”
“I’m here, Dad. Can I get you something?”
Lance shook his head. “Kyleigh?”
“She’s home. Safe.”
He seemed to breathe easier at the news. “Where am I? What happened?”
Seth settled beside him. “You’re at the Silver Star, in the bunkhouse, in your bed. You had a nightmare.”
Lance’s sharp inhale told Seth his father was not used to sharing his night terrors with anyone.
“So…. Real.” Lance opened his eyes, scraped the wetness off his cheeks, and swiped the sweat from his brow.
Relief swept through Seth when Lance’s gaze cleared and focused somewhat.
“I couldn’t get to you or her. I couldn’t save you.” A sob escaped at the admission. “I couldn’t save any of them.”
Every ounce of anger he’d harbored toward Lance drained from Seth’s heart as he pulled his father into his arms and held the weeping man tight against his chest. “I’m sure you tried, Dad, and I can almost guarantee they know how hard you fought to get to them. They understand and forgive. You need to let go and forgive yourself.”
Lance wrapped his arms around Seth, held on a moment, then leaned back against the headboard. “Thank you, son. I appreciate you being here. And Seth, I want you to know how proud I am of you. The work you did in Elaina’s room is amazing. I never knew you were so talented.”
Seth bit back the retorts that sat on his tongue, ready to spear at his father at the slightest inclination. His vow to try harder to understand the man who sired him echoed in his mind. Lance must have seen his struggle because a slight, mocking smile crossed his lips.
“But then, I guess I never had or took the time to get to know the depths of talent latent within my only son. I’m sorry for that, along with a whole host of things it’s too late—at night and perhaps in life—to get into right now. Just know that I am.”
Seth said a quick, fervent prayer for grace and guidance and took the chance God offered him again to reconcile with his father. “I’m sorry too, Dad, for all the times I didn’t try to understand you or your job. And all the things I put you and Mom through. All the things I allowed her to put us through.”
This time Lance’s smile was full and expressed all the love and hope he felt. Love Seth had shunned for years. Regret pierced his heart.
“Water under the bridge, son, but thank you. Get some rest. We have a long couple of weeks ahead of us.”
“Maybe I should drag my mattress in here and camp out on the floor. I really don’t want to leave you alone.”
“I’m fine now. Honestly. You go on back to bed and get some shut-eye.”
Seth hesitated a moment then returned to his room, wondering if there was anything he could do to help heal his father’s mental and emotional state.
* * * * *
“Aren’t there programs out there for PTSD?” Seth asked.
Lance shrugged. For the past two days, he and his son talked more than they had in a lifetime. Unfortunately, all Seth seemed to want to discuss was his mental health. “I’ve tried numerous therapies. Some have worked better than others. I believe time, faith, and trust are the best remedies. The nightmares aren’t as frequent and are much less disturbing than even a year ago. Having you here and us getting a shot at a real relationship is bound to do me a world of good. Major strides toward normalcy.”
“I just want you whole, Dad. Promise you’ll let me do whatever I can, whenever I can. We’ve been given a second chance here and I don’t want to lose you to a heart attack, or some other unknown ailment linked to your time in the Service.”
Lance hugged his son and promised.
They finished feeding and grooming the horses and saddled up those needed for the morning trail ride.
After breakfast, Lance pulled Robert aside. “Hey, man, I know it’s short notice, but I need a few hours off this afternoon to do a little Christmas shopping.”
Robert rolled his eyes, then slapped Lance on the back, a look of pure pity on his face. “Sorry it’s you, but glad it’s not me. Take all the time you need, we’ve got this.”
Lance laughed. “Thanks.”
For the first time in decades, he actually looked forward to celebrating the holidays. Gift ideas he had in abundance and couldn’t wait to get to the mall. Man, you’ve really got it bad, or have come a long way, to be actually looking forward to going to the mall.
Hopefully, the stores wouldn’t be too picked over since he’d waited until the last possible minute. As usual.
His first stop was Books, Candles, & More where he found the perfect mug for Tess—simple and impersonal. He browsed a Christian store and picked up a daily devotional and journal for Elaina to aid in her walk with the Lord. It still amazed him how narrow-minded and judgmental he’d been toward her. He remembered a time when he was more open and trusting of people and vowed to resurrect the part of him that had lain dormant—buried beneath years of war, death, and strife—for so long.
Robert and Mona were in for a real surprise: a painting that would work well in any room, especially a nursery. It wouldn’t hold a candle to the one Kyleigh was working on–about which he was sworn to secrecy–but from what he’d learned about the couple in his months working for them, he knew they’d love and appreciate the gesture.
Kyleigh’s present took a little more time, but he left with a basket filled with things she loved…. The special tea she drank, hand lotion he’d seen on her desk and kitchen counter. A large bottle of the perfume she wore, (to drive him crazy of course). A bottle of her favorite wine, a bag of popcorn and a box of the kind of chocolates she indulged in occasionally, and a lovely heart and cross necklace. Another six months and it would’ve been a ring.
He was a little stumped on what to get Seth until he walked into an art supply store. Though a lot lighter in the pocketbook, he’d enjoyed selecting items for each person on his short list and hoped he’d chosen wisely. And, lucky for him, everything was gift-wrapped by store staff, saving him a barrelful of misery.
Three days later, Christmas Eve dawned bright and clear. And cold. A front had moved in during the night, adding a layer of icy dampness to the already chilly air. The family that had booked every room on the ranch for a reunion over the holiday weekend opted out of trail rides, choosing instead to sit by the fire in the lodge and indulge in Ramona’s specialty hot chocolate, eggnog, and holiday snacks. Although the family would be cooked for and served separately, day guests would begin arriving at 10:30 a.m. and would continue to come and go through the next day. After the last meal and hayride, the employees and guests gathered for a reading of Jesus’ birth from the Gospel of Luke. Only then did the staff eagerly retire to Kyleigh’s house to play a game of White Elephant before their actual gift exchange.
Lance and Robert had helped rearrange the furniture in Kyleigh’s cabin to make room for all of them. The kitchen table, shoved up against the counter, all but overflowed with food and drinks. The recliner and loveseat in the living room had been moved aside and dining chairs as well as a few folding ones formed a semi-circle in front of the Christmas tree tucked in one corner. Gifts spread out two feet from its base.
“Everyone grab a chair,” Kyleigh urged. “Your number is taped to the back. Don’t look!” she screeched when Robert tried to peek before choosing his. “That’s cheating.”
“I should go first since I am expecting your grandchild.”
Kyleigh patted Mona’s shoulder. “Sorry, sweetheart, you know the rules.”
“Yeah,” Lance winked at Kyleigh. “No favorites—otherwise I’d be first.”
She sent him a saccharine smile. “You go ahead and believe that.”
Once all were standing in front of their chosen seats, each pulled the paper off and exclaimed or grumbled at the number they’d drawn and sat down.
“Ha, I go first anyway,” Lance taunted. He held his #1 for all to see, then picked up the box with the corresponding figure.
One by one, they opened the crazily wrapped packages, stole from each other, and bartered until the game ended. Weak from laughter and teasing, he watched Kyleigh stuff paper into a trash bag. “OK, now what? Presents then snacks or vice versa?” she asked.
“Presents,” everyone chorused.
“Whose going to play Santa?”
Tess stepped forward when no one else volunteered. “I will.” She passed around gifts until each had a pile at their feet, then sat on the floor with hers.
“Since you handed them out, you go first,” Kyleigh said.
Tess opened her gift from Elaina and gasped with pleasure then held up a gorgeous turtleneck sweater.
So it went. Each took a turn opening a present and showing off the treasure inside before moving on to the next person until none remained beneath the branches laden with ornaments. Afterward, they mingled between the kitchen and living room, visiting, and eating, until the clock struck eleven. Christmas greetings rang out in the night air as Mona and Robert along with Seth, Elaina, and Tess–who was sleeping on Elaina’s couch–left.
Lance tucked Kyleigh’s hand in his then raised it to his lips. “I’ll help you clean up this mess.”
“I appreciate that.”
With the two of them working together, the chore took less than half the time it would have taken Kyleigh alone. She stood in the doorway while he shrugged into his jacket. “Thank you for the lovely basket filled with my favorite things.”
He stroked her cheek with his fingertips and urged her a step closer. “Thank you for the hatpin. Think I’ll put it on my dress Stetson. It’s too nice to wear every day. Wouldn’t want to risk losing it either.”
“Your choice,” she replied. “Anything else?” she asked when he hesitated in leaving.
“Only this,” he whispered and covered her lips with his. He wrapped his arms around her and hauled her against his chest as the tender gesture quickly turned into something hotter and more intense. He restrained from picking her up and carrying her into the bedroom until his arms shook and breath escaped in jagged pants, then ended the kiss in slow degrees. “Merry Christmas, sweet Kyleigh.”
She stepped out of his embrace and ran her fingers through his hair. “Merry Christmas, Lance. I’ll see you in the morning.”