MOVING DAY for Jos and Isaac came much faster than Kip wanted, but he kept quiet and helped Jos carry the few things he and Isaac had out of his house and pack them into his car. After carrying out the last bag of clothes, he went back inside to check that all the lights and fans were off.
The house seemed so quiet and lifeless. He’d gotten so that when he came inside, he looked forward to Isaac’s footfalls as he ran toward him, and Jos’s smile when he first came into the room. Now the house seemed gloomier. Yes, he understood Jos’s reasons for moving into his own apartment. Jos had been dependent on others for enough of his life that he needed to know he could be independent. Kip understood that; he really did. But that didn’t soothe the part of him that was instantly lonely at the thought of coming back to the house once they were gone.
“Isaac is all set in his seat,” Jos said from behind him.
“Okay.” He turned and left the house, locking the door behind him, closing off the impending loneliness as he shut the door.
Then he drove them downtown. It was only half a mile at the most, but it felt like so much farther, like he was driving them away from him. Kip knew he was being stupid and that it was most likely his own fault. He should have simply told Jos that he wanted him and Isaac to stay and then gone on to tell Jos how much he meant to him and how he felt. But he hadn’t been able to say the words. He’d done it in a roundabout way, but he hadn’t wanted to scare Jos off, or rush into anything. All he’d ended up doing was denying himself what he truly wanted, and now it was too late. Jos was moving out, and telling him now would only muddy the waters and complicate things.
He and his friends had helped Jos get off the streets and get his life back on track. Jos was happy, and little Isaac had bloomed like a flower. Kip would do nothing to put that in jeopardy, and if Jos needed to be on his own in order to test his legs, then he’d be there for him. And he’d try to be patient, even though he had the feeling he’d spend a lot of time looking forward to Jos’s visits and those sleepovers they’d promised each other.
Kip pulled up in front of the building and began helping Jos unload. With his arms full, he followed Jos and Isaac through the door and up the stairs to the second-floor apartment. It ran across one side of the building, with two windows that faced the street in the front and then a hallway down the center of the building, with the kitchen, bedrooms and bath off of it. The living room was nicely sized. The rest of the rooms were small, but judging by the grin on Jos’s face, it seemed like a castle to him.
“Some furniture was here, and Donald helped me get some of the basic things,” he said as he opened the bedroom doors. Each room had a twin bed with a dresser, but from Jos’s excitement you’d have thought they were the living end, and maybe they were to Jos. Kip tried to be as happy for Jos as he could, but to him, this meant the end of something he hadn’t realized he’d come to count on.
“It looks great,” he said with a smile that he hoped like hell didn’t seem too forced. He wanted Jos to be happy—more than anything—but he also wanted to be happy himself. Hell, he deserved it, and Jos and Isaac moving out made him sad, but that was beside the point. Kip set what he was carrying on Jos’s bedroom floor where he told him to and then wandered back out to the living room and looked out the window. Sometimes people journeyed together through life, and then there were times when their journeys had to part. The counselor he and his dad had seen told him that. At the time he’d applied it to the loss of his mother, but it applied to his situation as well. Maybe his and Jos’s journeys needed to be separate for a while. He blinked a few times as the wind shook the tree that nearly reached window height, sending orange-brown leaves swirling up into the air and then falling toward the street.
“I think Isaac and I can be happy here, and we can learn to live.”
“You have been,” Kip said, swallowing the rest of what he really wanted to say. For a moment he told himself it wasn’t too late, that if he told Jos how he felt he’d change his mind about all this, but as soon as Kip turned around, the excitement on Jos’s face killed that urge instantly. This wasn’t about him. It was about Jos and what he needed. “I’ll go get the rest of the stuff.” He hurried down and out to the car, then brought in another load of things. When he reached the top of the stairs, a loud, piercing giggle filled the room. Kip put down the bags and followed the sound to the back room, where Isaac stood barefoot, dancing in circles, Weeble held tight in his arms, crooning at the top of his lungs that they were home now.
“Uncle Kip,” Isaac called as he raced over. “Jos says this is my room. My very own. I like it, and Weeble likes it too.” He set his bear on the bed and picked up Pistachio, handing the horse to Kip. “Will you take him home with you?”
“Why?”
“Spistachio is sad and doesn’t want you to be lonely. He likes the room at your house.”
Kip resisted the urge to take the horse. “Why don’t you put him next to Weeble so they can help each other get used to their new home?” He wasn’t going to take Isaac’s horsey. He knelt down in front of Isaac. “You and Jos are going to be happy here, and I think Pistachio will come to like his new room as much as he did the one at my house. Don’t forget that you and Pistachio and Weeble can come over to visit whenever you want.” Kip pulled Isaac into a hug and stood, carrying Isaac along with him. Isaac wrapped his arms around Kip’s neck and held him tight.
“I love you, Uncle Kip,” Isaac whispered, and Kip clamped his eyes closed.
“I love you too,” Kip said, miraculously without his voice breaking. “You and Pistachio will be happy, and you’re going to have your own room with your own bed.”
“I won’t have to sleep with Jos?” Isaac leaned back. “He snores.” Then he did a pretty good imitation of his brother.
“I do not,” Jos said as he came in the room. “You take that back.” He ticked Isaac’s belly, and Isaac giggled and squirmed in Kip’s arms. “I don’t snore.”
“Yes, you do,” Kip said.
“See?” Isaac said in triumph.
Kip put him down, and Isaac grabbed Pistachio and Weeble so he could show them all around their new home.
“I have one more load in the car, and then I need to go and get changed for work,” Kip said. He knew he should go and get the rest of their things, but his feet felt plastered in place.
Jos stepped closer, hugging him around the waist. “I’m so excited about this, but you know I’m going to miss you.” He buried his face in Kip’s shirt. In that instant Kip knew how hard this was for him. Yes, this might’ve been something Jos thought he needed to do for himself, but that didn’t mean it was easy for him either.
“You know I’ll be there if you need me, but you aren’t going to. You’re going to build a good life for you and Isaac. This is a nice apartment.”
“And with the rent subsidy, my job, and Isaac’s benefits, we should be good as far as money goes. But I keep going over it in my mind and wondering just how I’m going to make it, and it scares me so much. I keep wondering what I’m going to do if I fail again the way I did the last time.”
“You won’t. You have a job and people there who care about you, just like you have friends who care and will be there if you need them. But I don’t think you will. You’re going to be able to stand on your own two feet. The only reason you didn’t before was because of some bad luck and people who took advantage of you.”
“But what if I can’t do it?” he whispered. “What if I fail again?”
“Then we’ll figure it out. But I know you can do it. We’ve gone over your budget again and again. You know it by heart. Sure, you and Isaac aren’t going to have the top-of-the-line cable or a really fancy phone with all the bells and whistles, but you’ll be able to take care of each other, and there’s money for having fun. Just keep working hard like you are.” Kip hugged him, and they stood still for a few minutes. He didn’t want to let Jos go. “I’d better get your things,” he finally said and then went to bring in the last of load of things.
“HOW IS Jos doing?” Carter asked when Kip found him at his desk, behind his computers, a few hours into his shift.
“Good. He moved into his apartment today.”
“You don’t have to sound so happy about it,” Carter teased. “C’mon, it isn’t the end of the world.”
“Sometimes it feels like it,” Kip admitted. “I know he’s just downtown and I could walk there. We haven’t broken up or anything, but….”
“Have you told him how you feel?” Carter asked.
“In a way,” Kip answered, leaning over the desk.
Carter groaned. “What the hell does that mean? Morse code? Did you tap it on the wall or something? I know, you told him you love him in your own made-up language.”
“You’ve been watching way too much television,” Kip said.
“Really.” Carter stopped typing and glared at him. “If you want Jos to know how you feel, then you need to tell him, and not in some beating around the bush way that’s designed so you don’t have to put yourself out there.”
“That’s easy for you to say—you have Donald.”
“Yeah. And do you think it was easy telling Donald ‘Ice’ Ickle that I loved him? You remember what he was like. Thank God he’s thawed a lot, because I love the guy with everything I have, but it was dang near pants-crapping scary… and the best decision I ever made.” Carter turned back to his computer. “I bet you didn’t come in here for relationship advice, and I should mind my own business, so what did you need?”
Kip was so grateful Carter had changed the subject he wanted to hug him. “I was wondering if you’d found out anything more on Jos’s aunt.”
“There’s only so far I can look, but I found something strange. Sometimes searching when you don’t know what you’re looking for requires a lot of luck, and I think I may have had some. But I’ll confess I don’t know what it means. I do know that Josten’s family comes from close to where his aunt lives, and there are some probate court records that Jos’s mother and aunt were named in. It could be nothing, but I requested copies. The records are open, so I did it as a citizen’s request. It could be just an old will, but within a year, Aunt Kathy bought her house and opened her business, so something changed in her life.”
“Interesting,” Kip said. “It could be nothing.”
“That’s true,” Carter said, turning to look at him. “But there was suddenly quite a bit of money that was available to her. We’re police officers, and we don’t believe in coincidences. You told me the story she told Jos, and it seems too American-dreamy for me. Too perfect. You told me she seems like a really driven person, and parts of that story just don’t fit.”
“She did say that she got an inheritance, and that her sister spent all of hers,” Kip said.
“All right. But something doesn’t feel right to me. I don’t know what it is.” Carter turned back to the computer. “Like I said, sometimes you get lucky and sometimes there are lots of blind alleys. Only additional information will tell us what this is. You could be right and it’s nothing, or it might help us follow a trail someplace else.”
“We’ll have to wait and see,” Kip said and checked the clock. “I’ll see you later, and thanks for everything.”
“No problem. These things are what I love.” Carter flashed him a smile and then went back to his work. Kip quickly ate his lunch, then checked in for any information he needed before returning to his car. He’d been assigned to what was becoming his usual area of town, the northeast quadrant, although that could change as calls came in. During the afternoon he dealt with kids skateboarding on the sidewalks and pointed them to the park where boarding was allowed. He didn’t give them a ticket, because they seemed genuinely surprised, and the kids were polite and hurried off in the direction indicated when he told them where they could go. His mission was to help where he could.
It got dark early. Kip drove south on Hanover, watching people as they walked the sidewalks. A rough-looking man shuffling down the sidewalk caught his eye. Since encountering Jos, Kip found he paid more attention to the people who spent their time on the streets. He’d gotten to recognize a number of them and knew some of their routines. People who had once been faceless had come into higher relief for him. There were more people like Jos out there than he’d ever imagined. He stopped at the light on Louther and watched a tall, poorly dressed man cross the street, coat pulled closed, bracing against the cold. The signal changed and Kip glided through, glancing over at him again, but he was already out of sight.
Kip had some time, so he pulled over and got out of the car, getting a pretty good idea what had happened. Sure enough, Kip found the man hunkering down in the same deep doorway where he’d first met Jos. “Can I help you?” Kip asked, staying at the ready and not getting too close.
The man turned around.
Kip stepped back and stared into the face of Tyler Adamson, the man who’d attacked Jos. Kip’s first instinct was to go off on someone who had hurt someone he cared for. But he was a police officer and his training kicked in. “What are you doing here?”
“Just looking around,” Tyler answered and turned to leave.
“Stay where you are,” Kip said and called in to the station. “Aren’t you supposed to be in jail?”
“I got bailed out a few hours ago,” Tyler answered.
“Just sit down on the ground and don’t move.” Kip called for backup through the radio.
“You can’t hold me for no reason. Innocent until proven guilty and all that,” Tyler argued.
“Either sit or I’ll assume you’re trying to threaten me,” Kip said. He received the response that backup was on the way. A set of lights appeared behind him, and Carter joined him.
“What’s going on?”
“This is the suspect I apprehended attacking Jos. He’s saying he was bailed out, and I need to verify. He has a tendency to be violent.”
“I’ll watch him,” Carter said, and Kip returned to his car, made some calls, and requested the appropriate information through his computer. The answer shocked him.
“How did you make bail?” Kip asked when he got back. As far as he could tell, Tyler didn’t have anything.
“My brother,” Tyler spat, and Kip wondered why this guy could hold such contempt for someone who was willing to put his money on the line for a loser like him.
“Your brother posted bail?” Kip asked.
Tyler nodded. “Can I go now?” he asked, hands in the air like he was a minister or religious figure giving a benediction. He should’ve won an Emmy for overacting. “The Salvation Army will open its doors in a few minutes.”
“Where is your brother?”
“At home.”
Kip backed off and Carter did the same. For now they had to let him go. Kip wished he had a reason to search him to find anything that could be used to return him to jail. If Kip had been later and Tyler had stayed hunkered in the doorway longer, he might have been able to make a loitering charge stick, especially based upon the new No Loitering sign that hung in the doorway.
He and Carter watched as Tyler walked down the sidewalk. Kip shivered as the wind picked up and the first drops of rain fell around him. “Jos can’t seem to catch a break no matter what.”
“Sometimes it’s two steps forward, one step back,” Carter said. “It sucks and we know it. The law we’re supposed to uphold sometimes does things that drive us crazy. It’s to protect everyone’s rights, including mine, yours, Jos’s, and even that guy’s.”
“Still sucks sometimes,” Kip muttered.
“You won’t get any argument from me.” Carter got back into his car. Kip called in, letting Dispatch know he was free, and got into his car as well. Now he had to explain to Jos what had happened.
Kip spent the rest of his shift on edge. He’d never been so happy for rain and the chill in the air in his life. It meant the night was quiet. He got back to the station on time and pointed his car toward Café Belgie as soon as he could. He got a place to park just down the block and hurried inside. He didn’t see Jos anywhere.
“Hi, Kip,” Billy said a little breathlessly. “Jos left about ten minutes ago. He said he was going to get Isaac from day care.”
“In this weather?” It was only a few blocks, but still….
“He had an umbrella and a good jacket, so he thought he’d be okay. It wasn’t raining too hard when he left, but I see it’s picked up since then. You can probably catch him without a problem.”
“Thanks,” Kip said and left, going right out to his car and following the route he hoped Jos would take. He reached the day care center and went inside.
Isaac hurried over, a large piece of paper waving as he ran. “I made this for you,” Isaac said gleefully, and Kip took it. Of course he couldn’t discern exactly what it was. “It’s you and Jos holding hands under the table.” Isaac giggled, and Kip saw the rough outlines of what Isaac was telling him.
“Are you going to be a famous artist?” Kip asked, keeping one eye on the door, his heart pounding. If it were pounding any harder, his shirt would vibrate.
“No. I’m going to be a policeman like you,” Isaac told him definitively. “Then maybe I’ll be an artist… and a cowboy, so I can ride Spistachio.”
Kip suppressed a chuckle. He loved that Isaac had dreams now, and he liked to think he had a part in that. “That’s wonderful. You can be anything you want.”
“A cowboy policeman?” Isaac asked.
“You certainly can. They have them in lots of places,” Kip turned to Miss Carrie. “Jos was on his way over to pick up Isaac.”
“He hasn’t been here yet,” she said.
Kip nodded and kept looking at the door. He hoped like hell he’d only taken another route, and that Kip had just missed him. Seeing Tyler back out on the street had really messed with his head. But still, Jos wasn’t here yet, and he wouldn’t be late to pick up Isaac. Kip pulled out his phone and dialed, but the call went to voice mail.
“Let’s get you dressed to go outside, and we’ll find Jos. He’s probably walking over.” As more and more time passed, Kip’s nerves grew and grew. He stared at the damn door, willing the thing to open and for Jos to walk in.
By the time Isaac was dressed and ready to go, Jos still hadn’t shown up. Kip gathered Isaac’s papers and drawings and tucked them carefully under his coat. He unlocked the car with his key fob and hurried Isaac out to it and got him in his booster seat.
Kip pulled away and traced the routes Jos could have gone. He didn’t see him and stopped at Jos’s building. His windows were dark, so Jos obviously wasn’t there. As he and Isaac sat in the car, Kip called Miss Carrie, who confirmed that Jos still hadn’t been there and that the center was about to close. Kip hung up and pulled out once again. He put on his lights and turned around, determined to follow Jos’s possible routes as best he could. Something had happened, and all Kip could see was Tyler and Jos beside that house. He gripped the wheel, damn near paralyzed with fear that Tyler might have found Jos.
He went yet a different way, taking Bedford over to the day care. A block away he pulled to a stop and jumped out of the car. A figure lay in the street by the wheel of a parked car. Something fluttering in the wind caught his attention. It turned out to be the remnants of an umbrella. When he got close enough, he saw a familiar blue jacket and light head of hair.
Kip pulled out his phone and called 911. “This is officer Kip Rogers. I need an ambulance and police assistance on Bedford between Pomfret and South right away.” He kept the panic out of his voice for the length of the call. As soon as he hung up, Kip knelt next to Jos, afraid to touch or move him in case he made things worse. He did manage to lightly touch Jos’s neck and found a pulse. He raced to the car, and after reassuring Isaac that he had found Jos and was going to help him, he yanked an umbrella from the floor of the backseat, opened it, and used it to shelter Jos from the continued rain. He heard sirens within minutes. An ambulance arrived first, and the EMTs got to work covering Jos in blankets and transferring him onto a backboard. Kip’s fellow officers arrived next and began taking pictures, trying to piece together what had happened.
Kip stayed with Isaac while Jos was loaded into the ambulance, then followed them to the hospital and carried Isaac inside the emergency entrance. Kip explained who he was and why he was there. Then he sat with Isaac and tried not to fly apart from nervousness.
He did manage to think clearly enough to call Donald and Carter, to let them know what was going on, as well as Billy at the restaurant.
“As soon as we close I’ll be down there,” Billy said. “We added Jos and Isaac to our insurance when he started, so I need to get you the information.”
Isaac knew something was wrong and that Jos was hurt. Kip held him, letting Isaac rest his head on his shoulder as he clung to him. “Is Jos gonna be okay?”
“Yes,” Kip answered each time Isaac asked, hoping like hell he wasn’t lying.
He soothed Isaac and waited. Eventually they were able to see Jos. They didn’t want to allow Isaac back, but Kip flashed his badge and explained that Isaac needed to see his brother. They relented, and Kip carried Isaac in.
Jos lay on a bed in a curtained-off area. They had him on oxygen.
“What’s that for?” Isaac asked, pointing at the monitor.
“It tells them how Jos’s heart is. All those numbers help them help Jos.”
“Is he asleep?” Isaac asked.
“He hit his head,” a doctor said from behind them. “Are you his family?”
“As close as he has here. This is his brother, Isaac. Jos and I have been dating.” He knew there was very little the doctor could tell him without Jos’s express permission, and he’d had no chance to give it. “Don’t worry, I understand the rules.” He sighed, dying to know what had happened. “I only brought Isaac back so he could see him.”
The doctor nodded and went about his work. He checked Jos over carefully. “I’m ordering some tests.” Of course he couldn’t say what they were, and that was frustrating as hell.
“I’m a police officer. I’m the one who found him.”
“Are you here in an official capacity?”
“I can be,” Kip said. He gently set Isaac down and kept him close before calling in. He explained where he was, and Dispatch confirmed that they needed information on Jos’s condition.
“I’ll relay to the officer in charge that you’ll get that information and pass it on to him,” Helen told him. “They’ll be grateful. It’s turned into a busy night.”
“It’s official,” Kip said and pulled a small notebook from his shirt pocket. He’d been trained to always have one, so he carried it everywhere.
“He sustained a concussion, most likely from a collision with a car. It’s possible he has at least one cracked rib, and there are multiple abrasions.” Kip wrote it all down. “At this point, we don’t know how severe his concussion is,” the doctor explained. Kip saw Isaac stand closer to the bed, holding Jos’s hand.
“Jos, wake up,” Isaac said, and then he turned to look at Kip.
“It’s okay,” Kip said, trying to reassure him. He moved closer to Isaac and turned to the doctor.
“We’ll know more after we’re able to run some tests. We’ll admit him and put him in a room once we’re done. I honestly don’t expect him to wake up tonight. Leave a number at the desk, and we’ll call you when he wakes up.”
That was like kicking Kip’s legs out from under him. That meant it was bad—Jos might have slipped into a coma. “Thank you,” he said and quickly called in the information he’d received. Then he lifted Isaac into his arms. Kip hated to leave Jos alone, but staying here wasn’t going to be good for Isaac, and he had to be the first priority. Kip walked to the bed and took Jos’s hand, rubbing the back of it lightly with his thumb. He stood silently at Jos’s side, willing him to wake up and hoping like hell he hadn’t lost him already.
“He’s supposed to wake up when he’s sleeping,” Isaac said. He rested his head on Kip’s shoulder, whimpering softly. Kip wanted to join him. He understood just how Isaac felt at that moment.
“Let’s get you home,” Kip said. “You can see Jos in the morning.” He hoped that was a promise he’d be able to keep, for both their sakes.
Kip left and stopped at the desk, leaving a number for them to call if Jos woke during the night. Then he got Isaac in the car and drove through the wet and rainy roads to Jos’s apartment. He let them in with the key Jos had given him because he sometimes picked up Isaac, and went upstairs, helping Isaac get ready for bed.
“Will I see Jos in the morning?” Isaac asked, eyes watery, looking up at him from around his covers, Weeble and Pistachio next to him.
“I hope so.” Kip turned out the light.
“I don’t want Jos to be dead like Mama,” Isaac said, and Kip’s throat constricted. He wasn’t able to talk for a few seconds.
“I know. Me either.” He stroked Isaac’s head and did something he hadn’t done in many years: he said a prayer. It was simple, but he said it for Isaac, who didn’t deserve to lose another person who loved him, and he said one for Jos to stay strong and to get through this. Hell, he said one for himself because he didn’t know what he was going to do about the hole in his heart that would be left if anything happened to Jos. “Good night. I’ll be here, I promise.”
Isaac nodded and turned over. He was obviously tired, and Kip was relieved when he went right to sleep. He wished that were possible for him. After watching Isaac for a long time, Kip left the simple room and returned to the living room. He sat in the chair that he had given Jos when he moved in, turned on the old television, and stared blankly at the screen. Eventually he found a blanket and tried to get some sleep, but of course every sound made him jump a little. More than once he reached for his phone because he thought it had vibrated, but it was just his nervous leg playing tricks on him.
He eventually fell asleep, but he jerked awake when his phone actually did vibrate. Turned out it was a Facebook message from someone trying to sell him Mary Kay. Kip wanted to fling the dang phone across the room, but he sighed and put it away, trying to still his restless mind long enough to go back to sleep.
As soon as light shone through the windows, Kip gave up even trying to sleep and stretched his aching neck and back before going to the kitchen to make some coffee.
Isaac wandered out in his horsey pajamas, carrying Weeble under his arm. “I’m thirsty.”
Kip got some orange juice for him and made him a bowl of cereal. While Isaac ate, Kip called the hospital to see if he could get any information. He was able to find out that Jos was in a room and that visiting hours began at nine. Nothing else.
“Let’s get you dressed, and then I’ll take you to school.”
“I want Jos,” Isaac said, sucking his thumb. Kip hadn’t seen him do that before, even at the height of the stress in their lives when they’d first come to stay with him. Maybe Isaac could deal with just about anything as long as he had Jos. Kip was beginning to understand how he felt.
“I know you do. But let’s get your teeth brushed and then you can get dressed and go see your friends at school. I’m going to go see Jos and make sure he’s okay.”
“I wanna go with you,” Isaac said, whimpering, and Kip’s will collapsed like a house of cards. He’d take him with him and hope there was some good news.
“Okay. Eat your cereal and then go get dressed, and we’ll go up to see Jos.” What the hell else was he going to do? Jos was Isaac’s only family—well, other than the ice-queen aunt, and Kip was putting off calling her because as soon as she got her hands on Isaac, she wouldn’t let go.
Kip finished his coffee and called Donald to give him an update. “We’re on our way up to the hospital now.”
“Okay. I hope he gets better fast,” Donald said. “You know things will get very complicated quickly if he doesn’t.” Kip knew that all too well. He wasn’t a relative and had no real standing to make any decisions for Isaac.
“I’m done,” Isaac said as Kip hung up with Donald.
“Then let’s get ready to go.”
Isaac hurried away, and Kip made a few phone calls and then went to check on him. Isaac was in his room. He had put on a shirt, but it was backward, and he was jumping around to get into his pants. Kip grinned and helped him into the pants and got his shirt on right. The kid was so adorable. Kip had never given much thought to having kids, but now, after having Isaac around, he could see him and Jos with a house full of kids, maybe a baby.
“Can you put your shoes on?” Kip asked, and Isaac ran and got a pair of shoes. Kip found some socks and watched as Isaac flopped down on the rug and pulled them on. Kip made sure the Velcro on Isaac’s shoes was all set, got him a coat, and then took him to the living room and let him watch cartoons while he cleaned up as best he could. He was shocked at the mess a little boy could leave in his wake inside of five minutes.
Before they left, Kip called in to the department. He had some personal time, so he used one of the days. His captain had children and was pretty understanding when it came to family matters. Besides, Kip took shifts for guys who needed coverage all the time, so he didn’t feel too guilty.
“Are you ready?” he asked Isaac when he was done.
Isaac jumped up and grabbed Pistachio, and Kip turned off the television. Then he took Isaac’s hand and they left the apartment.
The rain had stopped sometime in the night. It was still cloudy, but the sun was desperately trying to peek through. Somehow Kip got Isaac in the car without him racing off to play in one of the nearby puddles. He saw him eyeing them, and on a different day he might have made a run for it, but instead Isaac sat quietly while Kip buckled him in, and then Kip drove as quickly as he dared to the hospital, his nerves ramping up by the second.
He was a police officer, trained to handle difficult situations, but he felt like he was seconds from falling apart. If for no other reason, he held it together because Isaac was in the car, and pulling off the side of the road so he could go to pieces with fright and worry wasn’t an option. He parked the car and held Isaac’s hand as they crossed the parking lot to the hospital. Isaac held Pistachio tightly under his arm. He was an amazing little boy, just like his brother was an incredible man.
“Josten Applewhite,” Kip said.
“I’m sorry, but he’s too young to go up with you,” the lady said.
“Isaac is Josten’s brother.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
Kip was in no mood, and he wasn’t going to let anything keep Isaac from seeing his brother. What if the worst happened? He didn’t want to think about it. Kip pulled out his wallet and showed her his badge. “I’m not here in an official capacity, but this little boy is going to see his brother.”
“Okay,” she said. “He’s in room 304.”
“Thank you.” Kip lifted Isaac into his arms and carried him to the elevator. They rode up, and Kip kept wondering what he was going to find when he got there. He walked down the hallway, past room after room, and then stopped outside 304. He pushed open the door and stepped inside.
Jos lay on the bed, looking much as he had the night before. The machines were still there, flashing their numbers.
“Jos,” Isaac said, squirming to get down. He hurried to the bed and patted Jos’s hand. “You need to wake up.”
“Buddy, I don’t….” Kip’s voice caught in his throat when Jos’s eyes slid open and that familiar blue, the warmest color he’d ever seen, shone in the dark room. Isaac burst into tears, and Jos lightly stroked his head. Kip wasn’t even sure if Isaac knew why he was crying, but Jos stroked his hair as Isaac put his head and shoulders on the bed.
“I’m okay,” Jos whispered. “I’m gonna be fine.”
“I thought you were going to the angels like Mama,” Isaac said, sniffling, and then he began crying once again.
“I’m not, and I’m going to be here for you for as long as you need me,” Jos said, comforting his brother gently. Kip stayed back, watching the two of them with a smile on his face.
“I heard you come in,” Jos said over Isaac’s head. “I couldn’t see you, but I knew you were here and that it was time to wake up.”
“I wasn’t….” He stepped closer, approaching the other side of the bed. Kip took Jos’s hand. “You have no idea how bad you scared me. When I found you by the side of the road—” He gave up trying to talk.
“We looked for you,” Isaac whispered. “You were in the street, all wet, and you didn’t move, like Mama.” Had Isaac seen his mother die? The thought hadn’t occurred to Kip until that moment. He would have to ask, but he hoped Isaac was talking about when he saw his mother at her funeral.
“I was crossing the street, and I heard brakes. That’s the last thing I remember,” Jos said. “I’m okay now, and I have both of you with me. That’s all that matters.”
A nurse came in the room, and she smiled and left right away. She returned a few minutes later and began checking Jos out and fussing with his pillows. “Don’t talk too much. You need to rest. I called the doctor and told him you were awake, and he said he’d be up to see you soon.” She was smiling from ear to ear. “You had us all a little worried.”
“He’s my brother,” Isaac said with the hint of a smile as he wiped away his tears.
“That’s wonderful. Your brother is a very strong man, and I’m sure he knows how lucky he is.” She gave Isaac a smile, and he leaned against the bed, putting his head on the mattress once again. Kip figured he’d crawl in with Jos if he could.
After checking everything, the nurse left, and Kip leaned over the bed. “I’ve never been so scared.”
“I’m okay,” Jos said.
“I know. I have to say I didn’t remember that chair I gave you being so uncomfortable, but the dang thing gave me time to think about a lot of things. I wanted to do what was right for you, so I kept quiet. But I’m not going to be quiet anymore. I love you, Jos. Everything fell into place when I saw you last night. Life is way too short to wait for what you truly want.”
“But….”
“I want you with me. I kept quiet before, and I let you move out, and worse, I nearly lost you. If you doubt you can make it on your own, just think of everything you’ve done. You’ve rebuilt your life almost from scratch, and you took care of Isaac, all while capturing my heart. I think you can do anything.”
Kip leaned closer and felt tears come. He nuzzled Jos’s cheek softly.
“Are you going to get mushy?” Isaac asked.
“Is it okay if I do?” Kip asked, and Isaac turned away. Kip took that as permission and kissed Jos lightly. “I do love you so much.”
Jos sighed softly. “I love you too. It’s been lonely without you. I guess I thought I needed to be on my own.”
“You’ve spent a lot of time on your own, and so have I. So maybe the real challenge is learning how to be together, because that’s what I want, and I hope it’s what you want too.”
“I do. I was happy being with you. Do you think Donald will be mad if I move back? He did help me find the apartment.”
“I think he can find another family that will need it as badly as you did.” He wanted to shout and dance for joy. “Now let’s get you better, and we’ll worry about the rest a little later.”
Jos sighed and closed his eyes.
“Is he sleeping?” Isaac asked.
“Yes,” Jos whispered and then smiled, which made Isaac grin and put a smile on Kip’s face as well. He pulled up the chair and sat down. When Isaac came over to him, Kip lifted him onto his lap, and pretty quickly Isaac drifted off to sleep. He obviously hadn’t slept much more than Kip had. When the doctor came in, he said that they were going to run some more tests now that Jos was awake, and that he had a cracked rib, but he was hopeful Jos would make a full recovery.
TWO DAYS later, Jos came home—not to his apartment, but to Kip’s house. He was still sore and the rib was painful when he moved around, but Kip got him up into bed, and Isaac stayed with him for hours.
Jos was napping while Isaac played quietly in the living room when Kip got a phone call from Carter.
“I got the papers I requested today, and I think I’ve found something interesting. Jos and Isaac’s grandfather set up trusts for them, and guess who the trustee is?”
“Aunt Kathy,” Kip said.
“Exactly. They weren’t huge, but large enough, and I bet good old Aunt Kathy figured if she had custody of Isaac, then she could ‘invest’ his money in her business. According to the terms of the will, Jos’s money is already his, and it’s just sitting there. She doesn’t control it because he’s over eighteen.” Carter sounded so happy. This was the kind of thing he lived for—the answers to the puzzles that their job presented. It was his gift.
“She won’t control any of it soon,” Kip said. “Thanks. Send me what you have, and we’ll get a lawyer to look into it. Heaven help her if she’s done anything wrong.” Kip hung up and paced the room. He was so angry his hands clenched into fists and then released again. After calming down, he went upstairs and found Jos slowly making his way from the bathroom.
“What happened?” Jos asked as Kip helped him back into bed.
“Carter called. He’s been looking into your aunt for us.”
“I remember,” Jos said as he settled under the covers.
“Well, he found something. It appears your grandfather left a trust fund for you and any other of his grandchildren. You’re old enough to claim your share of the trust. He named your Aunt Kathy as trustee. We think that if she got custody of Isaac, she planned to invest his portion of the trust in her business.”
“Oh,” Jos said quietly.
“She should have told you about the trust when you turned eighteen, but instead she kept quiet and the money away from you.”
“So what do we do?” Jos said, as calmly as anything.
“We’ll get a lawyer, and he’ll take care of it. I also think we have enough to pressure your aunt to let someone else act as trustee for Isaac.”
“Okay,” Jos whispered.
“Aren’t you mad? I mean, if you’d have had that money, you and Isaac might not have ended up on the streets. Heck, your aunt found you, and she still did nothing to help. That….” Kip stood and began pacing the floor as his anger grew fast. “How can you be so calm about this? She….”
“We knew she was up to something, and now we have our answer.”
“But if you had known, you wouldn’t have been on the street and….”
Jos sat up slowly and got back out of the bed. “I also wouldn’t have met you. So how can I get angry about that?”
“Because you deserve to be. I wouldn’t give up anything that happened. I swear I’d do all of it again, a million times over, if it meant I got to have you and Isaac in my life. You know that. But the fact that you went through all that you did—”
“I know, and I’ll probably be angry about it later. But right now I’m too tired, and I don’t want to think about her.” Jos held onto his arm. “Would you help me get my robe? I want to go downstairs. I’m tired of being in the bed.” Jos looked at him with heat in his eyes. “Unless….”
“You’re not up for that,” Kip said. “But if you promise to take it easy, I’ll take good care of you later.” Kip hugged Jos gently and wondered how on earth he had ever found a man like him on a rainy night in a doorway.
“You always have,” Jos said, resting his head on Kip’s shoulder. Kip didn’t want to let go, but he reached for Jos’s robe and helped him put it on. Then he slowly guided Jos to the stairs and down to the living room, where Isaac was sitting at the coffee table with paper and crayons, drawing away.
As soon as Isaac heard them, he looked up and grinned. “What are you drawing?” Jos asked as he sat on the sofa.
Isaac handed the page to Jos, and Kip leaned over the back so he could see it too. “That’s me, that’s you, and that’s Uncle Kip. I drawed you holding hands but not yucky kissing.”
Kip rolled his eyes, and then, just for fun, he lightly kissed Jos on the cheek. “How about we frame it, and then we can hang it on the wall?” He knew just the place for it—right next to the pictures of his mother and father. “It can be our first family picture,” he whispered to Jos, who turned, smiled, and kissed him.