Even after all this time, Jackson continues to get under my skin. As Trent sits in front of me at the diner, all I can think about is Jackson’s question.
“Do you love him?” His words echo in my head.
Of course, I love Trent. We’ve been living together for seven months, and he’s quickly become my other half. But when Jackson asked me, I hesitated, and I don’t know why I would even pause for a second.
Ever since Alex’s wedding, Trent and I have been inseparable. Though I wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time, I gave him a chance. I walked out to the old barn with him just to chat, and all we did was discuss horses as we lay on the grass. Honestly, I did it to make Jackson jealous at first, hoping he’d see me leave with someone else, but what I didn’t realize was he didn’t even notice I had left. Figures. But that night, Trent and I shared something magical under the stars at the Bishop ranch. For the first time since returning from college nearly a decade ago, I let go of the what-ifs, and I ended up meeting the most perfect man in the whole state of Texas.
Trent treats me the way I’ve always deserved, and it’s hard not to be madly in love with him. Somehow, he manages to say all the right things at all the right times, making me feel as if I’m the center of his universe. And he’s not afraid to tell me how he feels, which is completely the opposite of Jackson. Without a doubt, Trent’s the one for me, and one day, I hope to get married and start a family with him. However, even as I sit here, trying to think of all the happy moments Trent and I will make together, I can’t stop thinking about Jackson and the way he looked at me today. My skin still burns from where he pulled me back to him—and has all morning. I try really hard to push Jackson out of my thoughts as I twirl the spaghetti on my fork, but it’s useless.
“Are you okay?” Trent asks as he takes a sip of coffee. He’s been talking for the past five minutes about a horse, and I feel guilty that I haven’t listened to a word he’s said, so I hurry and give him a smile.
“Yes, of course. Just thinking about all the things I need to do back at the ranch. The horses that were recently boarded, the ones that need rehabilitation therapy, and those that still need training. Making a mental list, that’s all.”
He places his hand on mine and squeezes.
“Have I told you that I love you today?” he asks with a wink. He tells me every morning when I try to sneak out of bed for work. Since I need to be at the ranch around five in the morning to help feed the horses, I’m usually up before him, unless he has an emergency call. But starting and ending our day with an I love you has become our routine since I moved in with him.
“I love you, too. Thank you.” I squeeze his hand back.
“For what?” he asks, noticing how disinterested I am in my food.
“For always keeping me grounded.”
He gives me a smile, then continues talking about a horse and putting shoes on, and this time, I really try to pay attention to him as I finish eating. He’d already eaten before arriving and just drank coffee the entire time. Once he pays, we get up to leave, and he takes my hand. Trent walks me out to the truck and pins me against it, his hot lips mingling with mine. I melt into his kiss as my back presses against the cool metal. Moaning against his mouth, he takes it as a cue and tugs at my bottom lip, then sucks on it.
“If you keep that up, you might miss your next appointment,” I tease, feeling his growing erection against my stomach. All he does is chuckle.
“Mrs. Hanson would call my mama if I canceled. See you tonight around seven. Love you.” He gives me one more kiss before he forces himself away. I lean against the truck as I watch him walk to his, reminding myself that this gorgeous man is mine and perfect for me.
“Love you, see you then,” I tell him before I hop in my truck. As he backs out of the diner, I blow kisses at him, and he pretends to catch them. I crank the truck, turn on the heat because it’s cold as hell, and sit there thinking about my day. It’s gone from bad to good in about thirty minutes, and I’m half tempted to drive over to the Bishop ranch and kick Jackson in the balls because he deserves it for making me second-guess everything. Anytime I’m around him, this happens, and I hate it. He always throws me off my axis, and I have to figure out how to turn it off—how to stop him from affecting me. Trent and I have been together for almost two years, and while we’ve had our ups and downs, it’s been nothing short of a fairy tale.
After five minutes have passed, I decide to call my cousin, Addie, to have her talk me off the ledge. She’s been by my side for as long as I can remember and knows all my history with Jackson. If anyone understands my frustrations, it’s her—she’s heard them all.
The phone rings, and she picks it up after one time. Last year, she got married to the love of her life and found out soon after she was pregnant. She only has a few weeks until the baby is due and has been put on bed rest until then, which means she’s available anytime I need a quick chat.
“Thank God. I’ve been wanting to call you all morning,” she says breathlessly.
“So why didn’t you?” I ask her, wishing she would have.
“I looked down at my vag, and I swear to God, Kiera. It’s a fucking jungle down there. I can’t take it anymore.”
I burst into uncontrollable laughter, and I’m so happy I’m not driving because by how desperate she sounds, I might have lost all control. “Then shave it. It’s simple.”
“I had to use a mirror to see if I still had one. How the hell am I supposed to shave it? My stomach is so big there’s no way I could even reach it very well. I need it waxed, today. And I need you to help me.”
“Nope. No way. I love you like my sister, but there’s no way I’m getting that close to your lady bits. No, ma’am. You better ask Landon.” Now I’m the one with the serious tone. Her husband needs to help her out. It’d be too weird for me.
Addie starts laughing.
“What?” I finally ask her.
“I don’t need you to help me actually do it. I need you to drive me there. I made an appointment at three. Pretty, pretty, pretty please. If I don’t go, I may transform into Cousin It, but the pube version.”
My mouth falls open. “The visual I just had, so disgusting.”
“I’m desperate. So desperate. I’ll even pay for yours too.”
I stare out at the gray colored sky. “I’ve never done it before. Does it hurt?”
She giggles. “Only the first strip. I used to get them done religiously; like it was on a calendar just like my cycle, but then I got pregnant, and everything has been thrown off. Please? Pretty please. Like I will love you forever. I’m almost willing to promise you my firstborn.”
I let out a sigh. “Okay. I gotta run back to the house and change clothes, and then I’ll be over. Deal?”
“I love you. Oh my God. I love you so much.” She makes kissy noises in the phone before we let each other go. I’m usually not scared of anything, but getting my crotch waxed kinda scares the crap out of me. I have to try everything once, I suppose.
After I make my way back to my house, I text my assistant trainer, Alexis, and let her know I’ll be gone the rest of the afternoon. She’s really great at making sure everything runs smoothly when I’m out on calls and understands and accepts my hectic schedule. Thankfully, Trent’s house is pretty close to everything. Once I drive up the road and make it home, I hurry and wrap my hair up in a tight bun, then jump in the shower and change into some fresh clothes. Addie and Landon recently built their dream home close to my parents’ ranch, so we’re practically neighbors now. As soon as I turn down the dirt road that leads to her house, my heart begins to rapidly beat. This happens to me anytime I randomly think about Jackson, and there’s one person to blame. Just the fact he still affects me makes me hate him. It’s so frustrating.
As soon as I put the truck in park, Addie is out the front door, walking toward me. When I see her baby bump, I start smiling. She climbs inside and lets out a deep breath as she buckles.
“What?” she asks with a grin.
“You’re so adorable.”
Instantly, I get the evil eye. “I cannot wait until you’re knocked up. Any day now.”
“Do not jinx me. Wedding first, then seven babies.” I let out a laugh before putting the truck in reverse and heading toward San Angelo. I’m quiet on the drive over, and Addie notices.
“What is it now?” She looks at me as if she’s reading my mind.
I sigh, hating that she knows me so well. “Jackson asked me today if I loved Trent,” I finally tell her. “It’s been bothering me.”
“For crying out loud,” she says. “He had his chance. Why does he even care?” Addie has been telling me to get over him since I left for college, and I’m pretty sure I convinced myself I had, but every once in a while, doubt rears its ugly head.
“I don’t know. But the look on his face. It’s like he almost…”
“He wasn’t going to tell you anything, Kiera. He’s too stubborn, and he knows you’re with Trent. Jackson’s an asshole most of the time, and he hates Trent with a passion, but he’d never disrespect you while you’re with someone. His mama taught him better than that,” she tells me just as she has time and time again.
“I know. Why do I keep going back to this?” I want to slam my head against the steering wheel.
“Because every time you see him, it’s a constant reminder of what you two didn’t have. I’m sure it’s not easy.”
“But he was my best friend in the whole world, and there were years when we didn’t spend a day apart. Years. It’s hard to forget someone who’s such an integral part of your childhood. We’re friends, and I could never just cut him off,” I admit.
“Friends who want to fuck and who have wanted to for the past fifteen years.”
I huff. “I don’t think I like the pregnant version of you. That tiny filter you once had has disappeared. Addie’s filter, oh where have you run off to?” I glance over at her and smile.
“Landon’s told me the same thing. It’s the baby. I swear, it’s just made me insensitive.” She laughs.
“Do you think I’m going crazy?” I ask her.
“I think your relationship with Trent is getting more serious, and you’re freaking out about it. That’s the honest truth.” Addie grins, and when I look over at her, she gives me a wink.
“You’re right. I just feel like he’s planning on proposing anytime now, and while we’ve been together for almost two years, and I’m ready to move to the next level, it just seems as if everything is going by so fast. Like, when did you know Landon was the man for you?”
Her eyes get all dreamy as she thinks about Landon, and I love that she found love. “You just know deep down inside who you’re supposed to be with. You can feel it in your bones. Every time I look at Landon, there’s not a single doubt in my body that he’s my soul mate. It’s weird. Like we’ve known each other forever,” she continues. “I’m sure you feel that way about Trent.”
I smile and nod. “I do, but…”
“Don’t you dare add a ‘but’ to that sentence,” she playfully warns as I pull into the parking lot of the salon.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say!”
Addie stares at me. “You were going to say you feel that way about Jackson too.”
I sit silently for a moment. There’s no fooling her. “No, I totally wasn’t.”
She turns her body toward me. “Then what?”
“It’s stupid. Enough about Jackson. Time to take care of your jungle.” I smile, and she claps her hands.
“Finally! Here, take this.” Addie hands me an ibuprofen.
I look down at it.
“It’s to help with the pain.” I expect her to laugh, but she doesn’t.
“You are seriously making me not want to do this.”
She rolls her eyes, and I take the pill with a sip of water, then we get out of the truck and walk inside the salon. They lead us to a back room, and Addie asks me to stay for hers to see if I want to get one too. Considering I’ve never been, I agree.
“You’re not some freak who gets off on pain like this are you?” I ask Addie, and she chuckles. All I do is shake my head.
Once she’s undressed and is situated on the table with a covering, an older lady walks in with a grin. It’s hard not to smile at Addie’s cute belly.
“So what are we doing today, dear?” she asks as she puts on some rubber gloves.
“I want a Brazilian. I want it all gone,” Addie tells her, and the woman isn’t fazed by this, though I’m pretty sure my eyeballs are ready to fall out of my head. She told me a bikini wax, but a Brazilian is completely bare.
“Perfect, honey. Is this your first time?” The woman smiles at her. Strangely enough, she reminds me of my mother.
“I should have a trophy for how many times I’ve had it done,” Addie tells her, just as the woman puts wax on a popsicle stick and removes the covering. I place my face in my hands as soon as I hear the wax being ripped from the skin because I can’t watch. Glancing up at Addie, she acts as if nothing happened, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t feel a lick of pain. Once she’s done, Addie turns to me. “Now it’s your turn.”
My face goes red, and I’m halfway tempted to chicken out, but I don’t. The older woman walks out of the room, and I look at Addie.
“It doesn’t hurt that bad.” She laughs. “Don’t be a chicken.”
This is cousin peer pressure at its finest, but I do it. Luckily, I haven’t shaved in a while, so my hair is the length it needs to be as noted in the pamphlet I tried to memorize while Addie was being waxed. Another woman walks in, and she’s just as nice as the previous lady.
“So this is your first time?” she asks with a grin, and Addie bursts into laughter.
I nod, and she explains exactly how it will work, then asks me what type of wax I’d like. Considering I can feel Addie’s judgy eyes on me, I go for the Brazilian too. The woman removes the covering and places the hot wax on me, then in two seconds, she rips it off. I scream out, and I’m sure every person in the entire salon heard me. If I wouldn't look like I had a reverse mohawk on my crotch, I’d tell her to stop, but I take a few deep breaths and allow her to continue.
“Okay, it looks like we’re done. Just need you to flip over,” the woman instructs.
I sit straight up on the table and look at her. “Do what?”
“She has to get your butt crack,” Addie adds. She doesn’t even pull away from her phone.
“My what?” My brows lift, and my mouth falls open. I didn’t get to that part in the pamphlet.
“It’s the last step,” the woman ensures me. I roll over onto my stomach and do exactly what she says, and surprisingly enough, the only thing that hurts is my ego. It’s such a weird place to get waxed, and I try to erase it from my mind as soon as it happens. She places the soothing lotion on my body and gives me some care instructions, and we’re sent on our way.
“You look like someone just stole your puppy,” Addie says as we walk through the salon.
“The only thing that was stolen back there was my dignity.”
She pays and sets up two appointments for next month at the same time.
“You’ve lost your mind.” I shake my head and laugh.
“Trent will thank me later.” Addie gives me a wink and a smile.
“I’ll thank you when my crotch stops burning.” We get in the truck and head back to her house. I don’t dare bring up Jackson again and hope I can keep him off my mind for the rest of the day. It’s easier said than done, though, especially after the way he looked at me today.