Mama Bishop picks me up from the B&B, and I’m so fucking mad I can’t speak. My eye has already swollen shut, and the way I feel inside doesn’t compare to the pain of being punched in the face by my fiancé.
“What happened, child?” Mama Bishop looks over at me and searches my face once she parks the car.
My lip quivers. “Trent punched me,” I tell her, cringing at how it sounds aloud. Her brows shoot up, looking ready to drive back there to give him another piece of her mind. “On accident,” I add quickly. “He drove up and saw Jackson and me, then lost control. I tried to break it up but happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and got hit in the crossfire.”
She places her hand on my shoulder, her eyes softening. “So he attacked Jackson first?” she asks, and I know if it were the other way around, he might not live to see another day.
I nod. “I told Pettigrew as much too. I’m not going to lie for Trent. Not now, not ever.” My voice cracks at the end, and she notices. I hate to be put in a position to have to choose between them, but being honest is ingrained in me. Too bad it’s not ingrained into him.
“It’s gonna be okay. Men talk with their fists. I’ve learned that firsthand.” She sighs as if she’s been through this more times than she can count. “Let’s go inside and get some ice on that eye. Then I’ll get you a cup of coffee and a piece of cake.” She smiles.
I follow Mama inside, and once she gets me an ice pack to stop the swelling, I willingly eat a piece of chocolate cake as she brews a pot of coffee. Though I’ve been trying to stay away from sweets and carbs so I can easily fit into my wedding dress, I figure today’s an exception.
Once the coffee’s brewed, Mama sets the mug down in front of me along with a bottle of hazelnut creamer. I thank her and pour some into my cup before stirring it.
The house is quiet, but it’s exactly the same as it was when I was a kid running through the hallways chasing Jackson or playing with Courtney. It’s always felt like home here, and I hope it always does.
“Anything you want to talk about?” she asks as she sits down. I’m too embarrassed to make eye contact and feel as if my whole world is crumbling. I’ve never seen Trent lose complete control before, and considering we’ve talked about Jackson and our friendship, I thought it was an issue we already worked through. He promised me he’d be on his best behavior and would play nice. He went against his word. It worries me how much I don’t know the man I’m marrying, but I don’t dare speak my doubts into the universe or even hint them to Mama Bishop. Instead, I shake my head and force a smile.
“You know what’s best for you, honey. That’s all I’m gonna say.”
I’m thankful for the silence as I eat my cake and drink the coffee. It helps settle my nerves just enough. Once there’s nothing but crumbs left, Mama takes the empty plate and sets it in the sink, then hands me two ibuprofen. “You’re gonna need these.”
I laugh, keeping the ice pack to my face. “Yeah, with a shot of whiskey and a bottle of courage. Because this is going to get dealt with today when I get home.”
Mama looks at me with an arched brow. “If he lays a hand on you, Kiera, or if you’re unsafe—”
“I’m not,” I snap but don’t mean to. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that to sound so rude. I’ve never seen that side of Trent before, so I’m just a little rattled.”
“Honey, it’s fine.” She covers my hand with hers. “If you ever want to talk, though, I’m always here. No judgments.”
I appreciate that more than she realizes. “Thank you, Mama. You’ve always been sweet to me.”
She flashes me a wink and smiles. “It’s because you’re my second daughter. Want me to take you back to your truck? I think enough time has passed that everyone has probably left.”
I glance at the clock on the stove and give her a smile. “Yeah, that’d be great.”
We head to the car, and the ride over to the B&B is filled with silence as I hold the ice pack on my face. It’s giving me slight relief at least, and I can only hope it keeps the bruising down too. She grabs the steering wheel with white knuckles when she sees Jackson, and I know he’s in trouble. Mama shakes her head at him.
“I can’t talk to him right now. I might actually whip him like he’s a kid again for not keeping a level head. I always taught him to fight back if someone threw the punch first, but it’s his ego and attitude that gets me every time.” She laughs, but I know she’s not joking. “Take care, Kiera.” She squeezes my arm with a sympathetic smile. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call, okay, dear?”
“Yes ma’am, I will.”
She turns and gives me a hug, and it makes me smile. After we break our embrace, I get out of the car. Jackson walks across the pasture toward me. His button-up shirt is open, showing off his muscular body again, and I swallow hard. I look at his face and notice his lip is busted, but other than that, he doesn’t have a scratch, which doesn’t surprise me.
“I’m sorry.” It’s the only thing I can say.
“For what? You didn’t do this, Kiera. The only thing I’m sorry about is not kicking his ass the way he deserves.” Jackson reaches out and removes the ice from my eye. I cringe slightly, hating all the thoughts that must be running through his mind right now. He gently places his finger under my chin so he can get a better look. “He got you good.”
I sigh and look into his eyes. “He didn’t mean to.”
“But he did,” he whispers.
I shake my head. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you later.”
Jackson grabs my arm and pulls me back to him. “If you need a place to stay. If you feel unsafe, my couch is always available.”
I jerk my arm from his grasp. “Why does everyone keep saying that to me? It’s really starting to piss me off.”
His mouth falls open, and he closes it. His sad eyes bore into me, but I push it away. “I’ve gotta go.”
I don’t look back at him. I can’t. Instead, I keep walking to my truck. I get in, crank it, and drive down the B&B driveway without taking a glance in the rearview mirror.
As the silence draws on, the tears begin to fall. My eye hurts so damn bad. I can’t help but think how Trent and I had finally gotten to a good place after our last blowout. Finding out he had a daughter who he gave up and hid from me from the beginning hasn’t settled well with me. Watching him lose control today and have him push me, then hit me, regardless of it being an accident, is too much.
Eventually, the road leads me home, and I pull up to the house and stare at it. Trent isn’t around, and I’m unsure of where he is. I double-check my phone to see if he’s texted or called, and there’s nothing. It’s as if all communication has been cut off completely between us. I hate when he gets like this, which has been happening a lot lately.
Sucking in a deep breath, I go inside and walk straight to the bathroom to look in the mirror. I’m a fucking mess, and my eye has already started to bruise. I’m sure by tomorrow everyone in Eldorado will have heard about what happened, and unfortunately, there’s no way I can hide my face from the world. Basically, I’m going to have to live with what happened and hope I don’t get too many side glances or comments when I’m in public. The reality is Trent lost his shit over nothing, and now I have to deal with it. It’s only a matter of time before the rumors start flying.
I walk through the house and feel as if I’m suffocating inside. Not able to take it any longer, I walk outside and sit on the steps of the porch. Moments later, I see Trent’s truck pull around the corner, and it causes my heart to race. He parks and gets out, slamming the door. He doesn’t look at me as he walks past me. All I can do is stare up at the cloudy sky. The way he’s acting is breaking me down. I place my face in my hands and let it all out. Every emotion streams through me from sadness to anger, and that’s when I fucking lose it.
I stand, pull up my big girl panties, and walk inside. Trent stands in the kitchen with a beer in his hand. Both his eyes are blackened, and his nose looks broken, not to mention his busted lip. Jackson really beat the shit out of him, and I’m taken aback by how bad he looks. I stop walking. Everything I was going to say slips my mind.
He chugs his beer and sets the empty bottle on the counter. “What?”
“We need to talk about this,” I tell him, not even knowing where to start.
“Yeah, we do.” He’s being short, and his anger isn’t lost on me.
Trent grabs another beer and pops the top. “So, are you fucking him or what?”
My mouth falls open. “Are you kidding me right now?”
“Just wondering if I’m marrying a lying, cheating whore or not.”
My nostrils flare, and he pushes me to a level of angry I’ve never felt before. My hand trembles, and I feel like I’m going to explode. “The only person who has secrets around here is you. Don’t you fucking forget that, Trent. Jackson and I are just friends. We’ve never crossed the line, and I have nothing to lie about or hide. You owe me an apology for blacking my damn eye too. You did this, Trent. Remember that. You did this because you’re so goddamn insecure with yourself.” I stare at him, and my words don’t even affect him. “It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.” I grab my keys off the counter and walk toward the front door.
I can’t stand to look at him.
I can’t stand to be around him when he's like this.
I hear his footsteps behind me, and then he grabs my arm, stopping me. His fingers dig into my skin, and he’s holding me so tight pain shoots down to my fingers. Trent forces me to turn around and look at him. “Do you still want to marry me, Kiera?”
“Let. Go,” I demand. “You’re hurting me.”
“No. You’re going to answer me right now.”
With everything I have, I jerk my arm from his grasp. “I’m not doing this. Not with you so mad.”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “If you leave, the wedding is off.”
“Don’t threaten me.”
“I’m not. But I’ll tell you this much. That son of a bitch pressed assault charges against me, and based on the statement you gave the police, there’s nothing I can do. So thank you for that, Kiera. Thanks for choosing him over me.”
“It wasn’t about choosing sides; it’s never been about that. I’m not going to lie for you, Trent. I’m not going to compromise my integrity because you can’t control your anger and jealousy.” I feel sick. I didn’t realize Jackson did that. Pressing charges is a serious allegation, and I wish I could take it all back. I wish I wouldn’t have followed Jackson back to the B&B or asked him truth or dare, so then when Trent drove up, I wouldn’t have been there, and none of this would’ve happened.
Trent clears his throat, bringing me back to reality but doesn’t say a word, and that’s when I turn and grab the doorknob and walk out. He doesn’t chase after me. He doesn’t beg me to stay. Somehow, I didn’t expect him to either. I text Addie, needing to speak to someone, to talk about what’s going on, because I can’t keep it all inside.
Kiera: I need to chat. It’s important.
Addie: Why don’t you come over? Baby is taking a nap. I was trying to catch up on Netflix.
Kiera: I’ll be there in five minutes.
I’m so grateful for my cousin and how she’s always been there for me. I’d call Emily, but I know she’s working a long shift today, and I don’t want her to worry about me. I’m sure she’ll hear all about it when she gets home anyway. I drive over to Addie’s, and as soon as I park, relief sweeps over me. She meets me at the door with a smile on her face, but I watch it fade away when her eyes meet mine.
“Oh my God, Kiera! What happened?” She searches my face. “Are you okay?”
I force a smile. “Truthfully? No.”
Stepping aside, Addie opens the door and lets me in. Her house smells like cookies, and I see Stranger Things paused on the television. I sit on the couch, and she immediately comes to me and stares at my black eye.
“Jackson and Trent got into a fight. I got into the middle of it.” I motion toward my face as an explanation.
Her mouth falls open.
“I know.” We sit in silence for a moment.
“Why were they fighting?” she asks.
“Because I was touching Jackson when Trent pulled up. I guess. He’s been so jealous and insecure when it comes to Jackson. Now it’s just getting out of hand.”
She lets out a huff. “Do you blame him, though?”
I glance over at her. “What do you mean?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” She laughs. “You look at Jackson like he’ll rope the moon for you. Even after everything, even with that ring on your finger. I’m sure Trent notices it, too, because everyone else does.”
“Jackson and I aren’t anything. You know that.”
She nods. “I know. But switch positions with Trent. What if there was a woman who everyone knew he had a thing for, and he was constantly around her, touching her, seeing her every week. Don’t you think you’d be pissed about it too? I can’t blame him. Add in some testosterone and fighting over you is the only solution.”
I roll my eyes at her. “Whose side are you on anyway?”
She chuckles. “You didn’t deserve to be punched in the face, but I’m sorry, I kinda have to take Trent’s side on this one. Play devil’s advocate a bit.”
The silence draws on, and I think about what she said. I try my best to put myself in his shoes, to reverse the situation, and I do understand where he’s coming from, but there’s more to it than just that.
“The fact that I’m marrying Trent and will spend the rest of my life with him should overrule anything else. It should be enough. I don’t ever plan on getting a divorce. I want to have kids right away. When things are good between us, they’re really good, like the stuff fairy tales are made from. But when they’re bad, it’s like a nightmare, because it’s to the extreme.”
Addie gives me a small smile. “Who are you trying to convince here? Me or yourself?”
I need to hear this, all of this, because I’ve been so caught up in my perspective that maybe I haven’t given Trent’s a second thought. Guilt washes over me.
“What should I do?” I look around the room at the pictures of her and Landon together. They’re happy, carefree, and the love and admiration they have for each other just oozes from the frames. What she has is relationship goals.
“Girl, I have no idea what you should do. Maybe think about Trent when you’re around Jackson. Remember why you’re marrying him in the first place. If you two keep on down this path, there’s no way this marriage will end happily. Trent isn’t a monster. He’s a nice guy, good-looking, has his shit together, and not too long ago, he was everything you ever wanted. So my question to you is what happened between now and then?” She stands up, goes to the kitchen, and comes back with a plate of cookies. I smile and grab one, though I feel like I’ve been eating sugar all day. But it’s definitely what you do in the South. Offer cookies and cake. Though what I really need right now is a drink.
I think about her question and replay everything that’s happened this year.
“A lot,” I answer truthfully, taking a bite. They’re still warm. “I haven’t told a single soul about this. But he apparently had a kid with another woman, and I just found out about it, after being together for two years. I honestly don’t think he would’ve told me if I hadn’t stumbled across some things. I thought he was living a double life. Money was disappearing every month. I’d overheard strange phone conversations. So I’m still having a hard time dealing with the secrecy of it all because now it’s created trust issues. We were working through that, and then this happened.”
Addie stops chewing. “What?” she asks with her mouthful. “A kid? Oh my God. So does he see his kid at all?”
“No. He just writes a check each month for child support. If it were up to him, he’d rather pretend it wasn’t a thing and just ignore it altogether.” I watch her face contort from confusion to anger.
“Now I’m speechless.” She hands me another cookie. “It’s like everything I thought about him—”
“I know,” I interrupt her, not wanting to hear the rest of her sentence. I’ve been feeling the same way, that maybe everything I knew about him is a lie, an act, that maybe the man I fell in love with isn’t reality, and I’ve been blinded by his charm all this time.
“Do you still love him?” she asks.
Reluctantly, I nod. “Yes, without a doubt,” I say. “Even through all the deceit, lies, and fighting—I do love him. We have history, and I care for him deeply,” I admit. “We’re going through some rough patches, but I think we can get through them. I hope at least.”
She smiles sincerely. “No relationship is perfect. You just have to decide if it’s worth fighting for.”
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s a lot to process.” I grab another cookie and know if she doesn’t take them away, I’ll eat them all. I think back to the night of our fight when I learned about Maggie. It still hurts, knowing he kept it from me, but I also know he wouldn’t intentionally hurt me that way. The past few months have seriously tested our relationship, and with each test, I can only hope it brings us closer at the end. We’ve been together for two years, and there will still be things to learn about each other for months and years to come.
The day after our big blowout, I told him I needed time to trust him again. We waited until we were both calm to sit down and talk it through without getting angry with one another. I asked him to tell me everything, and he walked me through all the events from how he found out about his daughter to why he never tried to have a relationship with her. It’s hard for me to comprehend, so it’s something we still disagree on, but I have to let him live with his own choices on that one. It’s something we’ll have to continuously work through, and I’d hoped we were moving forward, but now that he blew up on Jackson for just being around me, I’m not sure where this’ll take our relationship.
Eventually, Addie changes the subject, noticing I don’t want to discuss it anymore and turns on the TV. We sit and watch an episode of Stranger Things though I have no idea what’s going on. As soon as the baby starts crying, she stands, and I do too. I give her a hug, and she squeezes me tightly.
“Thank you so much for listening and talking it out with me.”
“Anytime.” She releases me and smiles. “If you want to do another wax session before the wedding, let me know. My treat.” She winks, and I snort in response. Fat chance of that happening.
“I’m going to head out. I need to talk to Trent. And hopefully, he’s cooled down by now.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
On the drive back home, I take in everything we talked about. Addie’s smart, levelheaded, and doesn’t always take my side. If I want Trent and me to work out—which I do—I’m going to have to meet him halfway on his feelings, and I realize I haven’t been.
His truck is still parked in the driveway, and my nerves get the best of me. I swallow hard, gaining the courage I need to walk up the porch and go inside. As soon as I open the door, I see him on the couch sleeping. I go to him, bending down until I’m close to his body. His eyes flutter open, and he just stares at me.
“I’m so sorry.” My voice seems small and insignificant.
“I am too,” he says, opening his arms and pulling me into them. “I’m so damn sorry. I love you so much and am afraid of losing you.”
“I love you too.” A sob escapes me, and I look up into his eyes and kiss him. He pulls me onto his chest and holds me.
“I’m not giving up on us,” he says, wrapping his arms around me tightly.
I lay my head against his chest and listen to his heart beating. “I’m not either.”