I feel as if a black cloud is hanging above me. This isn’t over yet, and the dread of going to Trent’s to grab my shit off his lawn is causing panic. I thought I’d have a little time away at least, or he’d have time to calm down. But that’s not how Trent does things. It’s usually to the extreme. I understand how mad he is, and how he wants me out of his life, so now is as good a time as ever to move all my shit out, I guess.
If I were left at the altar, I’d be just as hurt, but going through with the wedding would’ve hurt us both a lot worse. Having to go through a divorce and a possible legal battle while being fed lies–it’s almost frightening what could’ve happened. We didn’t sign a prenup, and I’m not so sure he wouldn’t have fought to take half of everything I worked for over the past decade. I’m so unsettled and mad at myself for not standing strong a month ago when I told him I couldn’t marry him. All this could’ve been avoided, but he wouldn’t let me go. And a part of me didn’t want to.
I should’ve figured it out sooner or actually listened to the internal alarms that’ve been going off, but I didn’t, so here I am. The girls circle around me and notice something’s wrong. I tell them what Trent’s message says, minus the reference to the Bishop barn. The wound is still too fresh to discuss that. The silver lining in the storm clouds is Jackson. I think I’m still in shock from it all.
“You’re not going alone,” Mila tells me. She looks over her shoulder at Evan, John, and Alex who are drinking and laughing at Colton as he makes a fool of himself on the dance floor. I’m actually glad none of the food or beer is going to waste and that some people are still enjoying themselves. As soon as John sees the look in Mila’s eyes, he takes it as his cue and walks over.
“Round up your brothers, you’re all going to be Kiera’s bodyguards.” Mila doesn’t give John a choice.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, looking back and forth between us.
“Trent threw all my stuff in his yard, so I need to go get it.”
John shakes his head. “He’s such a damn baby. I’ll get everyone together.”
“I know. And it doesn’t help that he’s mad either.” I let out a deep breath, happy Mila volunteered them to join me. It makes me feel a lot safer knowing they’ll all be there.
John walks across the dance floor and tells them all what’s going on. Within moments, I’m surrounded by four big guys, and I know they’re enough to keep Trent straight.
“I’ll drive, considering I’m the only one who’s sober,” Evan states, holding his palm out.
“I owe you one for letting me take your pride and joy,” I tell him, handing his keys over. I actually forgot I still had them.
He lets out a hearty laugh and pats me on my back as the posse follows. We all load up in Evan’s truck. My mind races as we pull out of the ranch and travel ten minutes down the road. It’s almost as if time is standing still as we turn onto the country road that leads to Trent’s land. I’ve driven down this road every day for a little over a year, and it’s almost bittersweet to know I’ll have no reason to come down here again.
Alex leans forward in the seat. “So, you and Jackson?” he asks with a grin.
“Leave her alone.” John elbows him. “Don’t you think she’s gone through enough today?”
“There were just too many red flags I couldn’t ignore any longer,” I admit truthfully.
“Impeccable timing, though,” Colton says with a laugh. “At least you didn’t go through with it. Could’ve been a huge ass mess. Oh, speaking of, I think that means Jackson owes me a shit ton of money.”
I laugh, remembering the stupid bet and turn to look at him. “How’d you know it wasn’t going to happen? I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who thought that.”
He shrugs. “Just a gut feeling. I saw the way you looked at Jackson. There’s no way you’d go through with that wedding when I could see your burning love for someone else.”
Alex lets out a big aww, and it’s followed by laughter.
“Well, at least I don’t have to say I’m divorced now.” I try to make light of what happened, even though it’s a messy situation. I should’ve listened to my gut, but that’s easier said than done, and I now realize how naïve I was. The man I fell in love with wasn’t the same man I was going to marry, and the thought alone sends shivers down my spine.
Soon we’re pulling up to Trent’s place, and as promised, my shit is thrown on the front lawn. My clothes, toiletries, basically everything. He’s had hours to do this, so it doesn’t surprise me that everything’s there.
I let out a deep breath and unbuckle. Evan gets out of the truck, and I follow him. As I’m walking past all my stuff, I notice photos that were taken of Trent and me together torn in half, and only my half is there. I shake my head and look around at my things on the ground. This is so damn disrespectful and childish, but I know this is his way of lashing out, to somewhat try to get me back for what I did to him.
The guys pick up my things and place them in the back of the truck just as the front door swings open. Trent’s face is red, and I can tell he’s been drinking and crying. The way he looks breaks my heart, and I’m truly sorry I let it go this far.
“Trent…”
“Shut the fuck up, Kiera. Don’t say a goddamn word to me.” His voice is full of poison, and by the way he’s looking at me, I know I’m the last person on this planet he wants to see.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell him, but my words seem to glide right past him.
I walk up the steps, hoping I can explain myself and let him know what happened, though I doubt he wants to hear it.
“You’re sorry, Kiera? You’re a piece of shit. Do you have any idea how I felt being left at the altar? Having to speak to everyone after you left? You embarrassed my family and me, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for that.”
“I understand.” I open my mouth and close it, trying to find more words that could even begin to explain how sorry I am that this happened, but nothing sounds like it will ever be good enough because it won’t.
“Do you? Do you really understand it? Reverse the roles, Kiera. You’re nothing but a skanky ass whore. And I know you’re fucking Jackson. I knew you were cheating the entire time. I tried to look past all your insecurities. Everything. Because I loved you, but now you’re dead to me, Kiera.”
His words are a slap in the face, but I don’t have the energy to fight him right now. I’ve told him over and over again that Jackson and I were never more than friends, which was the honest truth. He’s living in a delusional world if he truly thinks that.
“This is because of you, Trent. It’s always been because of the way you act. The way you lie. The way I can’t trust you. This has nothing to do with Jackson,” I scream at him, disgusted that he’s still stuck on this. With every argument we’ve had in the past few months, he’s somehow found a way to sneak Jackson into the conversation instead of taking responsibility for what he does.
Trent takes a step forward, rearing back and pushes me off the porch with every bit of strength he has. “Get the fuck away from me, you stupid bitch.”
The shock of it all rocks through me. I stumble backward, missing the step, and fall to the ground. John rushes to me, searching my face.
“Are you okay?” he asks, helping me up. “I’m about to kick his ass for that.”
“Don’t.” I grab his arm. “He’s not worth it, John. I’m okay.” I dust myself off and suck in a deep breath. The only thing that’s broken right now is my damn pride.
Trent looks at me and John together, and I watch as his face contorts into rage. “You’re a slut who lied to me for the past two and a half years. I should’ve never trusted you. And then you have the audacity to bring that motherfucker on my property with you?”
John stands and crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m not Jackson, asshole.”
“I know you’re upset, Trent. But when you settle down and you’re not so mad, maybe we can talk about what happened.”
Trent’s lips are in a firm line. “You need to get the fuck off my property before I call the cops for trespassing. Don’t you ever come back here either, Kiera. I have nothing to say to you. I never want to see you again.”
My eyes meet Trent’s before he turns his body, walks inside, and slams the door shut. When I turn around, the guys are all standing next to each other like superheros ready to fight the bad guy. Trent’s lucky they didn’t all jump his ass when he put his hands on me. But he would be stupid to even try to fight back. Having them with me may have even frustrated him more, but I had no other choice, especially considering how his temper has gotten away from him in the past. There’s no way anyone would’ve let me face him alone anyway.
We walk back to the truck, and my shoulder throbs where Trent pushed me, but as sick as it is, I feel as if I deserved it. Though his words were hurtful, I understand the place they’re coming from, and the guilt consumes me. I honestly don’t think he’ll ever forgive me for what I did, and I’m okay with it, because I made my choice.
“It’s over now,” Evan says as I buckle.
“Yeah, until the rumor mill starts,” I tell him.
“It’s already started,” Alex admits. “But who cares, Kiera? You did the right thing. Trent’s a psycho. He just has this look in his eye like he’s got a few screws loose somewhere or something.”
“He’s just upset is all,” I say, looking out the window, realizing I’m still making excuses for his actions. The silence draws on as we head back to my parents’ house. Considering I rented my house out to a nice family when I moved in with Trent, I guess that means I’ll be living with my parents until I figure something out. Great. There are so many things I didn’t think about when I left that I’ll have to deal with over the next few weeks. Being over thirty and living with my parents—didn’t see that one coming.
We pull into the driveway, and Evan parks close to the front door of the house. They all get out and grab armfuls of clothes and things that Trent threw out like it was trash. I open the door and lead them to my room.
“Just set it wherever it’ll go,” I tell them, grabbing some plastic tubs to try to lessen the trips. Considering there’s five of us and I didn’t move every little thing into Trent’s, it doesn’t take that long.
“If you need anything else, let us know, okay?” John says with a hand on my shoulder, searching my face.
I give him a small smile. “You know I will. Thank y’all for everything and for sticking by me even when I make a complete mess of things.”
Evan chuckles, then gives me a hug. “Family always sticks together, Kiera.”
Alex and Colton do too.
“You made the right decision,” Colton adds. “And made me a very rich man.”
“Shut up.” I laugh, seeing them out the door. “Y’all take all that food home and eat it for the next week.”
My parents come in through the back door and thank the guys for helping me.
“You going to join the after party?” Mama asks.
“No, I kind of just want to be alone.”
She wraps her arms around me and gives me a big hug. “I know it hurts right now, but with time, you’ll realize you made the right decision. Okay, honey? You’re probably emotionally exhausted. It’s been a strange day.”
“I’m sorry I did this to y’all,” I finally say.
Dad shakes his head. “I’m still proud of you, Kiki. You followed your heart, regardless of the consequences. It takes a strong woman to do that.”
“Thanks, Dad.” I look at my parents and am so grateful they understand and aren’t mad at me after all the money they spent to make this exactly what Trent wanted.
I eventually make my way through the hallway and walk into my childhood bedroom that’s as messy as my life. Letting out a deep breath, I open my closet and push my old prom dresses to the back and start hanging everything up. Once my bed is cleaned off, I crawl on top of it and close my eyes. When I glance over, I see my wedding dress hanging on the back of the door and I get up and shove it in the closet because I can’t stand to look at it. Today was supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life, and while it partially was, it wasn’t for the reasons I expected when I went to sleep last night.
I think back to Jackson’s words, to the confessions we made today, and I’m so fucking happy I can barely contain my emotions. Tears pour out of me, and I let it all out as I ride the emotional roller coaster. I cry tears of sadness for Trent and how badly I hurt him, but tears of happiness follow soon after. Though I loved Trent, I wasn’t in love with him. After the newness wore off, deep down I knew, I just tried to hold on to the thought of us as much as I could, not wanting to give up. I hope one day he can find happiness.
Soon I’m being pulled from my thoughts by a text message. I slip my phone out of my pocket and see it’s from Jackson and realize I totally forgot to text him.
Jackson: Everything okay?
Kiera: Yes. I picked up all my stuff from Trent’s. It’s over.
Jackson: Good. I’m here for you if you need anything.
I smile thinking about him, thinking about the letter he wrote to me and what this all really means.
Kiera: Thank you. I’m emotionally drained. I think I need sleep.
Jackson: Have a few shots of whiskey and call it a day.
Kiera: Good idea! I’ll call you tomorrow.
Jackson: Sounds good. Sweet dreams.
I lock my phone and roll over on my side, allowing sleep to take over. I didn’t realize how tired I was until I hear a knock on my door. The morning sun gleams through my window, and I know it’s the next day. I slept like the dead.
“Are you feeding the horses, or do you have Alexis doing it?” Mom asks.
“She’s taking care of it.” I roll over and look at her. “But I’ll probably head over there just to keep my mind busy.”
“Well breakfast is ready if you’re hungry.”
I rub my eyes. “Thanks, Mama. Gonna take a shower first.”
After I scrub all the leftover wedding makeup from my face, I get in the shower and stand there for at least ten minutes allowing the hot water to run over my skin. Today’s a new day, but the guilt of everything still hasn’t left. Only time will be able to heal those wounds.
After I get out of the shower, I get dressed and eat breakfast with my parents. It’s almost weird how natural it feels to be here with them. I haven’t lived at home since I was eighteen, but as I sit here, it feels as if I never left. Once we’re done eating, I help Mama clean the kitchen, then head to my bedroom when I get a call from Addie.
“You have to tell me what happened. You left me on a damn cliffhanger yesterday,” she says.
I let out a laugh. “You’re never going to believe it. I’m not sure I do.”
I explain the letter, tell her about what Jackson said, and how Trent pushed me off his porch. “Please don’t tell anyone about Jackson and me. We’ve agreed to keep it a secret and to take it slow, whatever that means.”
“I have no friends, so your secret’s safe with me,” she says with a smile. I know I can trust Addie. She knows everything about me and is sealed tight as a vault. “But damn. This is really happening. It’s like it all happened so fast.”
Now I’m the one to laugh. “Fast? It took almost two decades and a possible wedding to make it happen.”
“And do you regret it?” Addie waits for my answer.
I think about it all. Jackson and my friendship, the kiss we shared when we were teens, how I never gave up on him when everyone else did. He was always the one. There’s zero doubt in my bones, no inkling of distrust, and I know the decision I made was the right one. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s mine, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
“Hell no,” I tell her, and I mean it. “I have zero regrets.”