CHIP KNEW THE minute Lana had returned home. Through his half-opened door, he heard the key in the lock, the swing of the door and her soft footsteps across the creaky hardwood floor. As usual she was attempting to be quiet, but he’d been awake. As usual.
Waiting for her. Worried about her.
He tossed his sheet aside, restless, glad for the cool air on his overheated body. He could never fall into a deep sleep until he knew she was safely home from her shift.
And that shift must have been difficult tonight because he’d heard the refrigerator door open, a cork pop out of a bottle and liquid dribble into a glass. She’d poured herself a glass of wine. That was unusual.
He was tempted to join her. He could ask her how her day went. He loved listening to her sweet voice as she told him about the crazy calls her squad answered, especially domestics. He could watch her graceful fingers as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. He missed seeing Lana every day.
He knew exactly what she was doing right now. Obsessed with proving their neighbor had killed her brother, she’d parked her butt in the chair before the east window to watch the cars come and go from Gary’s house. Even from the grave, her brother still had a stranglehold on her thoughts and emotions.
How the hell could Chip fight a ghost?
Obviously he couldn’t, and her new schedule was a blessing. If he didn’t see her, he wouldn’t be tempted to make a fool of himself over her again.
He heard footsteps coming down the hall. So, she hadn’t watched Gary’s nightly drugstore for very long. Probably another sign that her shift had been rough. He flung an arm overhead onto his pillow. Had her asshole sergeant given her a hard time today?
His door swung fully open, and she stood on the threshold, her body vaguely outlined in the glow of the ambient light from the hall behind her.
He waited for her to speak, but she remained silent and still as a statue. Watching him.
“I’m awake,” he said. “What’s wrong?”
She took a hesitant step into his room. “You’re awake?” she asked, her voice featherlight.
“Yes.”
“Good,” she said, moving slowly toward him. “Then I don’t have to wake you.”
She stood next to his bed now, looking at him. What was she doing? He felt himself harden.
“Do you need something, Lana?” His voice sounded harsh in the darkness.
“Yes,” she whispered, her fingers releasing the buttons on her blouse. “You.”
The garment slid off her shoulders and onto the floor.
Chip held his breath when she removed her bra, revealing the most perfect pair of breasts he’d ever feasted his eyes on, her dark nipples rising to a peak. He couldn’t look away. His erection jerked, and he swallowed. This couldn’t be happening, but he knew he wasn’t dreaming.
“Lana?” he managed to say. She had to know what she was doing, but what the hell was she doing?
“Shh,” she murmured. “Don’t talk.” Before he could blink, she’d unzipped her shorts, shed them and her panties.
He sucked in a breath as he gazed upon her naked body. She was even more beautiful than he had imagined. A terrible, urgent need rose up in him that he didn’t possess the will to deny, even if he wanted to.
She paused only a second, their gazes locking, before she slid into bed beside him.
With a groan, he reached for her warmth and pulled her close, his mouth devouring hers, tasting the wine.
The feel of her left him incapable of rational thought, and this was no time for words. Her actions told him everything he needed to know. No way would he stop the miracle about to happen. He’d wanted Lana since he’d known what that wanting meant. He’d never be able to get enough of her.
He cupped her full breasts, loving the weight of them in his palms. He trailed kisses down her chin and her neck, and sucked one nipple into his mouth, flicking it with his tongue, then gently teasing pebble-hard flesh between his teeth.
She moaned something incomprehensible, arching beneath him, thrusting her pelvis into his. She didn’t want to wait and neither did he. He took her breast fully into his mouth and smoothed his hand across her satin-like skin, down to the junction between her thighs.
She was moist and ready for him.
He raised his head to gaze at her. Her eyes were dark with desire, fathomless, her breathing quick. She placed her hands on his chest, threading her fingers through his hair.
He gave her a quick kiss and rolled away to find a condom and sheath himself.
She opened her arms to him when he returned to the bed, but he had to be sure. “Yes?” he asked.
“Yes,” she responded, a demand to do what she wanted.
When he entered her, she was tight, gripping him. She felt so good, perfect for him. A sense of completeness and happiness welled up in him as he thrust deep inside her.
Lana opened her eyes and smiled at Chip. His eyes appeared blue even in the dark.
“Hi,” he said, and lowered his mouth to hers, using his tongue to tease her in tandem with the rhythm of his hips as he thrust into her over and over, filling her completely.
Nothing had prepared her for the sweet intimacy of making love with Chip. For the emotion, for the wonder that encompassed her, the mounting pressure that climbed and climbed until she didn’t think she could endure any more.
Chip kept moving in and out of her. She felt too good, too sensual, as if all the pleasure in the universe was centered between her thighs. Boneless, she lost herself to him. Every nerve ending danced with sensation. She didn’t want him to stop but couldn’t stand this delicious torture much longer. Pleasure flooded her body, and she issued a gasp of surprise and pure delight as she came.
Then he groaned and issued a sound that unquestioningly signified his own release.
After a few final pumps, breathing hard, Chip collapsed onto the bed beside her, his heat searing into her. He reached for her hand, entwined their fingers and gave a gentle squeeze.
Lana stared at the ceiling. Her pulse pounded in her ears. She inhaled deeply, loving the scent of him, and knowing she would never forget the magic of this moment. Chip was her friend and now he was her lover.
Chip rolled over and disposed of the condom. When he lay back down, wanting to be closer to him, she rolled onto her side and stared at his profile. His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling. She placed her palm on his chest, and he covered her hand with his. She smiled to herself, loving the idea that Chip wanted a connection between them. His heart thumped beneath her fingers.
“That was pretty amazing,” she murmured.
He grinned and turned to look at her. Their gazes locked, and his smile faded. What was he thinking?
She released a sigh and inched closer to place her head on his chest. He used his arm to pull her closer, and she snuggled in. Never in her life had she experienced anything as special as the intimacy of being joined with Chip.
“Was it, you know, okay for you?” she asked after a deep breath.
In a swift, unexpected motion, he rolled her over onto her back and pinned her arms over her head. “Wasn’t that obvious?”
Laughing, she grinned up at him. “Yeah, you seemed to enjoy it.”
“If there’s any doubt, let me make it clear.”
He kissed her so thoroughly then that she thought she might die of the happiness welling up inside her. Maybe this was how it felt to be in love. She’d never been in love before. Could she be in love with Chip?
He rolled over and urged her cheek back to his chest.
“I should have gone slower,” he said.
“I don’t see how that could have made it any better,” she said.
“Oh, it can get better,” he said. “Wait until next time.”
She closed her eyes. So, Chip wanted a next time. Why did that make her feel so good?
“Trust me,” he said, his words sounding slow, as if he were falling asleep. His breathing had fallen into a regular pattern.
“I trust you,” she whispered.
“Do you?” he asked sleepily.
“Yes,” she said, realizing that was true. She did trust Chip. Even when her world was falling apart, when her father was screaming at her brother and pushing her mother, Chip had always been there for her. He could make her laugh and forget life could be so scary. He was the one person who’d never let her down.
It was herself she didn’t trust. Her habit of acting on impulse, for making mistakes. Not the best behavior for a cop.
“Thanks,” he murmured. “You know, for trusting me.”
“You’re welcome,” she whispered, but he could no longer hear her. He was asleep. She listened to his steady breathing, wondering if she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life.
Danny had been like their father. Was she just like their mother?
Had she ruined her friendship with Chip with another impulsive error?
THE BLARING SOUND of his alarm jerked Chip awake. He groaned and flung out an arm to squelch the noise.
“What?” Lana popped up next to him, clutching the sheet to her chest, looking around the room as if she didn’t know where she was.
Stunned, he stared at her, feeling exactly the way she looked. As the events of the previous evening came rushing back, he felt a smile form.
When their gazes collided, she smiled uncertainly, tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and collapsed against the pillow.
“Hi,” she said.
“Hi, yourself.” Chip turned on his side, leaned on one elbow and propped his head in his hand. She looked gorgeous with her dark hair flying every direction, but then she always looked beautiful to him. And never more so than right now.
“Do you have class?” she asked. “On a Sunday?”
“No,” he said. “I forgot to turn off the alarm.”
“Oh,” she breathed. “Good.”
“Go back to sleep.”
She closed her eyes. “Okay.”
He continued to study her face, not quite believing that Lana had spent the night in his bed or that they’d made love. He wanted to make love to her again.
What had happened that made her come to him last night? What had changed? He couldn’t think of anything that he’d said or done, but there had to be something.
“Are you going to stare at me all morning?” she asked.
“How do you know I’m staring at you? Your eyes are closed.”
“I can feel you looking at me.”
“That’s a good superpower for a cop to have,” Chip said. “Does it work on everyone or only with me?”
She grinned and opened her eyes.
“I like looking at you,” he said softly. “You’re beautiful.”
“Thanks,” she said, closing her eyes again.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
“Groggy. It’s early for me.”
Chip frowned as he studied her face. So maybe she didn’t want to talk about what had happened between them. Did he? Yeah, he did. He wanted to know why. With another woman he might not care, but everything mattered because the woman in his bed was Lana.
“Did something happen on the job last night?” he asked.
“Yeah, it was a rough shift,” she said. “I was called out on a particularly nasty domestic.”
“You hate those.”
“Especially where kids are involved.”
“Because it reminds you of your family’s situation with your dad?”
She sighed, but didn’t answer right away. “I forget how well you know me sometimes.”
“I lived next door.”
“I remember. Could you actually hear my father yelling at my mom? I never asked. I guess I didn’t want to know.”
“It was no big deal.”
She nodded. “Yeah, it was. At least the police never came out. I think my mother would have died of the humiliation.”
He cupped her cheek and lightly kissed her. What could he say to make her feel better? The whole neighborhood had been aware of the abuse.
“I used to think if he hadn’t lost his job, everything would have been different,” Lana said.
“A lot of people lose jobs,” Chip said. “They don’t all beat their wives.”
“He could be so mean,” she whispered.
So could your brother. “Did your dad ever hit you or your sister? Or Dan,” Chip added as an afterthought.
“Never me or Sandy. Sometimes Dan.”
That explained a lot. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Yeah. Me, too. Your parents were wonderful to us, though. Especially your dad.”
Chip rolled onto his back. “I remember being furious with my dad because you had to move away. I guess I blamed him, thought he should be able to keep you around.”
“It wasn’t your father’s fault the house got foreclosed on. My mom couldn’t afford to stay there.”
“I know that now,” Chip said. “Are you in contact with your father?”
“I don’t even know where he is,” she said in an odd voice. “I haven’t seen him since Dan’s funeral.”
Chip nodded, aching for Lana and the rotten family life she’d had. No wonder she was so confused about the past and events that took place in high school.
“Why did you come to me last night? You must know that changes everything between us.”
She flushed. Was she embarrassed because they’d made love? He hoped not.
“Does it matter why?”
“Yeah, I think it does. We don’t need any more secrets between us.”
She was silent for a long moment. “I’m not sure why I do anything anymore,” she said. “Maybe it was just time.”
He brushed a stray bit of hair away from her face. “Time?”
She shrugged. “Time for me to move on. Everyone is always telling me I need to forget the past and get on with my life.” She jabbed a finger into his chest and he grabbed it. “You included.”
“Except don’t forget I’m part of your past.”
“But a different part. A good part.”
He kissed her finger, somewhat reassured by that comment. But he sensed there was more to her decision than that.
“So by making love with me, you’re forgetting the past?”
“Maybe.” She cracked open one eye. “Plus you’re, you know, really hot.”
He grinned. This discussion had moved in a much better direction. “You think I’m hot?”
She nodded. “Uh-huh. Now, don’t get all conceited on me. I hadn’t thought of you in years until Coach’s retirement party.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Sorry. And then my mother found that note to Dan, which made you my prime suspect.”
“Did you think I was hot in high school?”
“I thought you were cute. I wanted you to ask me out until Danny told me you were bad news.”
Chip’s gut tightened at the mention of her brother. Damn. It seemed his ghost always hovered between them, always ruining a good moment.
“So somehow last night you were overcome with lust for my awesomely hot body?” he asked, lightly trailing a finger down her cheek.
She gave a shrug. “I was a little down, depressed because I’m getting nowhere with the investigation.”
The investigation. So that was why she’d come to him? Her effing murder investigation wasn’t going well? Chip rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Just once he’d like to have a conversation with Lana about something other than her brother.
“You need to stop your damn investigation,” he said, his voice harsher than he’d intended.
“Like that’s going to happen when my mother calls me in tears, begging me for any news.”
“Don’t pretend you’re doing this for your mother.”
“No,” she admitted. “I need to know what happened.”
“What if you never figure it out? Are you going to search for his murderer the rest of your life?”
When she didn’t answer, Chip turned his head to look at her.
“What kind of a life would you have, Lana?” Would we have?
“I don’t know.”
“You’re unbelievable,” he muttered. Living with the ghost of Dan Lettino was so not the life he wanted.
“Hey,” she said, raising her head. “What’s wrong?”
He couldn’t look at her. “The last person I want in bed with us is your brother.”
“What are you talking about?”
He glanced at her then and wished he hadn’t. God, she was beautiful as she stared at him, a confused expression on her face. For such a smart woman, she could be totally clueless.
“I want you to stop looking for Dan’s murderer.”
“What?”
“You heard me. It’s destroying your life. It’s going to destroy your career.”
“I promised my mother,” she said, shaking her head. “I can’t do that.”
“Sure, you can.”
“Don’t ask me to stop, Chip.” Her tone turned frosty.
“Why not?”
“You have no right.”
“If you want to be with me, Lana, then I have a right.”
“What?” She narrowed her eyes. “Are you giving me some macho-man ultimatum?”
An ultimatum? Maybe he was.
And then Chip got it. He had no chance of any relationship with Lana until she solved Dan’s murder. But after eight years, the odds were Dan’s case would never be closed. Chip saw the future clearly. He’d play second fiddle to her brother for the rest of his life. He was a damn fool.
Just when things were looking up, he had to give up on Lana. He couldn’t love a woman who was obsessed with the past.
What had started as one of the best mornings of his life had just tanked beyond repair.
Chip rolled over and planted his feet on the floor. He needed to get away from her.
He turned to face her as he zipped his jeans, wishing he could read the emotions that played across her face.
“Do whatever the hell you want, Lana,” he said. “You always do.”