The loud bang, bang, bang, at my door was followed by the constant ringing of my fucking doorbell. I swear, whoever was at my door acting a fool was about to hear my mouth go off at them.
I hurried to my door, ready to curse some fool out. I opened it and saw Melinda, this seventeen-year-old high-school student who lived up the block by Shy and Jade. She looked like she’d been running as she stood in front of me, breathing heavily, with this gloomy look plastered across her face.
“Camille—yo—”
“What you want, Melinda?” I asked, a bit annoyed that she was banging on my door like she ain’t had no damn sense.
“Jade got shot!” she blurted.
“What?” I was shocked. “Jade? What you talkin’ about?” I swear it felt like I was having a panic attack. My chest tightened, and it felt like I was about to pass out. Not Jade. Melinda got it twisted, I thought.
“Tasha. She shot Jade, Camille. I think she’s dead.”
I heard nothing else as I rushed by Melinda dressed only in some jeans, slippers, and a light T-shirt. It had to be forty-something degrees outside. But the weather had no effect on me as I dashed out the lobby with no coat, no hat, nothing, and rushed up the block where I saw flashing police lights, an ambulance, and a crowd of people gathered around.
I ran like a madwoman to the scene. I didn’t want to believe it. Not Jade. Nah, I know this bitch Tasha ain’t take it this far—nah, nah, nah.
When I arrived, I peered over where the sprawled body lay covered in a white sheet against the cold ground. I stared at the scene. My eyes trickling tears down my face. I didn’t believe it. Not until I saw her, it wasn’t true. My girl ain’t dead.
I noticed some of the local residents peering at me with the saddest gaze across their face. The way they looked at me, and when Mrs. Robinson came over and threw her arm around me and gave her condolences, saying, “Camille, I’m sorry,” I fucking lost it.
“Nooo! fuck! . . . Nah, nah! She ain’t dead! Jade! Fuck this! Fuck, yo! What the fuck!”
I felt Mrs. Robinson arms tighten around me as I cried out. I collapsed down to the floor, and Mrs. Robinson still gripped me tightly in her arms.
“Where that bitch at?” I demanded to know, with fury and vengeance embedded in my eyes.
No one answered me. I became so enraged that I sprung myself from Mrs. Robinson arms and was about ready to hunt Tasha the fuck down.
My homegirl was dead and gone, and I swear to her death, James, Tasha, and whoever else was involved were going to feel my wrath.
I glanced across the street and noticed Casey slumped over the hood of a police car, and it looked like he was crying. I didn’t go over to him; I was hurting my damn self. I knew I had to call her cousin Shana and let her know what happened. And Shy, I didn’t see her around. I had to break the news to her too. I wanted to be strong and hold myself together, but the pain was too much for me to bear. Seeing Jade’s body covered in a white sheet and spread out on the ground like that almost made me go fucking crazy out this bitch. I was ready to flip on anyone, even Mrs. Robinson—I wanted payback.
Two hours later, Shana and her friends Sasha and Naja came around beefing and ready to wild the fuck out. I was with them, and whatever went down, I was in 100 percent.
“Camille, who shot my fuckin’ cousin?” she snapped, looking at me with tear-streaked eyes. Her head was wrapped in a blue scarf, and she wore a heavy blue coat and gripped a small knife in her hand.
“That bitch, Tasha!” I told her.
“Where that bitch at?”
“I don’t know, but her dyke cousin live over on Union Hall Street,” I mentioned.
“Fuck that! We gonna see that bitch!” Shana shouted, and her and her posse marched over to Union Hall Street to see Dee. I know Dee knew where Tasha was at. They were cousins, and they were close. If Tasha had any beef, she would instantly go check her cousin.
I followed behind Shana and them, and we got to Dee’s crib shortly, and already the drama was about to pop off. Tasha and Dee’s people were outside, because they knew we were coming. There were about six of ’em—male and female—and when we approached, this older-looking lady shouted, “Y’all bitches better leave from my crib! I ain’t fuckin’ joking, Tasha ain’t here!”
“Fuck that—let me see that bitch!” Shana shouted. “I know y’all hiding that bitch! She shot my fuckin’ cousin!”
“Fuck you, bitch. . . . Don’t be comin’ up to my grandmother’s crib beefin’!” Dee barked.
“What, bitch?” I heard Sasha snap back. “You better step the fuck back, you Big Bird–lookin’ bitch!”
“Fuck you!”
“Yo, tell Tasha to stop fuckin’ hiding. Let me see that bitch!” I shouted, getting in the mix of things.
“Yo, y’all bitches better move!” this one cornball-looking nigga shouted, wearing tight sweats and a tight hoodie.
“Nigga, what!”
“Fuck y’all.”
Everyone was shouting at each other, and I knew that at any moment, somebody was going to take it to the next level. I was boiling mad and glared at everyone on Dee’s porch. If looks could kill, they all would be dead.
A crowd started to assemble around on the block, watching Shana, myself, and her clique beefing with Tasha’s fuckin’ family. But no one intervene, because they knew what went down earlier with my girl Jade, and I guess they knew payback was coming sooner or later.
When I suddenly heard Dee shout, “Fuck that bitch, Jade,” I abruptly snapped and picked up a brick, rushed over to Dee, and smashed her across the fucking head with it, dropping that bitch to the ground. Fuck that—it was on.
Shana and everyone else rushed at the family, and we all started brawling. Tasha’s grandma hurried in the house while the rest of her family tried to stand ground and fight us. I grabbed another cousin and tore into her like I was a fucking savage. She fell to the floor, and I stomped, kicked, and beat the shit outta her, turning her face into a crimson color.
“Y’all disrespect my girl like dat, huh. . . . Y’all fuckin’ crazy!” I screamed.
“Ahhhh, that fuckin’ bitch stabbed me!” I looked over, and it was Dee clutching her gut as blood seeped through her clothing.
“Fuck that, bitch!” Shana shouted.
Moments later, police began swarming the block, with their lights blaring and flashing. They rushed from their cars and quickly began trying to regain order out this bitch.
I went nowhere. I just stood there with my clothes torn, my anger still seething, and still mourning from the lost of Jade.
An hour later, I sat in the 103rd Precinct next to Shana and Naja. We all were handcuffed to a chair. We all were quiet. I guess after all the drama and our adrenaline faded away, we finally came to the realization that Jade was gone. She was no longer with us. And I started tearing up as I started reminiscing about her. Tears ran down my cheeks when I thought why it had to end this way. She was happy. She was moving on.
Casey entered the room and he stared at me. He had a somber look on his face. I didn’t say a word to him. I just continued to sit there being lost in my thoughts.
“Camille, right?” he asked incredulously.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I guess so. I’m cuffed to this chair, though.”
He came over, pulled out a set of keys, and quickly unlocked the cuffs. I stood up, soothing my wrist a bit, because the dick-head cop that put them on clamped them on too tight.
I followed him to a back room, where he shut the door and sat on a desk. I remained standing, peering around, and wondered what he wanted me for.
His eyes watched me and then he began with, “You knew her fo’ a long time, right?”
“Yeah. We grew up together.”
“I never fell in love with a woman so quickly. But Jade, she was different,” he admitted. “I just wanted to talk to her best friend. We met briefly at her apartment. I’m sorry,” he uttered, his voice trailing off in sorrow.
“What about Tasha? Y’all lookin’ for that bitch, right?”
“We got cops knockin’ down doors fo’ her killer,” he said.
“She really liked you,” I told him. “And I liked you. You were definitely an improvement from her last boyfriend. She was happy wit’ you.”
A faint smile loomed on his face, and then it quickly disappeared as he broke down into tears. “Oh, God!” he cried. “I was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to be there fo’ her. I promised her that she was safe with me. I feel like I let her down.”
“You were there fo’ her. You gave her happiness. You made her smile again. If it means anything to you, it’s good to know that she spent her last days happy and knowin’ you were there fo’ her.”
He nodded.
“What’s goin’ to happen to her cousin, and the rest?” I asked.
“Shana, they might charge her wit’ assault and attempted murder. But you’re free to go. Go home and get some rest.”
“I’ll try.”
I walked out the room, leaving Casey behind to ponder about Jade and his relationship. He knew her fo’ a short while, and already he missed her as much as I was missing her now.
I passed by Shana, Naja, and Sasha and never uttered a word. Shana glanced up at me with her tearstained face and nodded her head slightly at me.
I walked out of the 103rd Precinct and never looked back.
I caught up with Shy at her apartment earlier that evening, and when she answered her door, I already knew she heard about Jade’s death. She broke down, collapsing in my arms, howling loudly.
“What happened?” she muttered.
I didn’t even respond to her. I was just quiet. The day felt gray, and I felt so empty. It felt like a part of me was missing. A part of me had died. I remained with Shy throughout the day. My eyes stayed watery, and I still couldn’t grasp that Jade was gone—taken away from us so abruptly. These projects, all they do is cause pain and suffering. No life came from here, just hurt, constant drama, and those who envy and hate.