Karin realized this slow process of asphyxiation had been going on for some time. How hadn’t she noticed? She was going over the key moments, repeatedly: the signs she had missed, the doubts she had simply brushed aside. Why hadn’t she spotted the vultures circling above her head, waiting to pick over her rotting carcass?
Both Will and Louie had tried to warn her that something wasn’t right. She knew all along that neither of them was behind those notes, yet had allowed Mel to convince her otherwise. Karin didn’t think for a minute that Louie had been round to threaten Mel that night either. That too was a lie.
So Louie really had been trying to protect her, after all, to keep her money safe. Too late now, it was lost forever.
But at least Mel couldn’t get to it.
Mel was still next to her, gloating. Karin could feel the resentment coming off her like static. To think of all those times when she had crumpled in her arms, allowing Mel to console and guide her, the friend in whom she had complete trust. Best friend. Surrogate sister.
Worst enemy.
Showing weakness was the last thing Karin wanted to do in front of her now. All those years of being belittled and berated by her mother had taught her to turn her tears into ice when she really needed to.
‘So these past months, you’ve just been waiting to punish me,’ said Karin. ‘Those notes were from you, weren’t they?’ The hate in Mel’s eyes suggested something darker. It led Karin to wonder about Will, and a terrible thought crossed her mind. ‘He never stole anything, did he? Will. You set him up.’
Mel’s face was crawling with spite. How could such a kind face – a face Karin thought she knew well, a face that once came to her rescue on the streets of Leeds – suddenly look so detestable?
‘So did-did you kill him, Mel?’
She was silent.
‘I said, did you kill him?’
‘Well let’s just say we had a bit of a party down by the river. He could knock back the whisky that one, for someone who didn’t drink. Very grateful for the extra supplies, he was, too.’
‘You took him more?’
‘He was so drunk that when I squeezed his balls, he just – fell in. It’s your fault, Karin. If you weren’t going to tell me why you were so afraid of going to the police, then I had to give you a good reason myself. And that weirdo mute was getting on my nerves. Plus he was beginning to suspect something, always following me around, watching my every move. He was a waste of space.’
Karin struck Mel hard on the cheek. Mel put her hand to her face, but the grin was still there. Karin couldn’t believe the extent of her ugliness; any shred of pity she may have had for her was now well and truly gone.
And yet.
In spite of herself, Karin still found it tragic that Mel had not seen the value in what she had gained.
‘Doesn’t it mean anything to you that we’re stepsisters?’ she asked.
Mel thrust her face into Karin’s again. ‘Do you honestly think I give a shit about you when your family ruined mine?’
Karin pulled away. Not because she was intimidated, but because it was time for Mel to have the full picture.
Just as Mel had filled in the gaps for Karin, she could do the same for her now. Karin didn’t expect it to change anything; Mel’s bitterness had rotted her down to the core. She was a decomposing carcass, putrefying in her own decay.
‘I know why your dad did what he did,’ said Karin.
‘And how would you know that?’
‘Because I was there. I was there when he had the rope around his neck.’
Karin gave her a moment, assessing whether Mel actually wished her to continue, then carried on anyway because she needed to hear it.
‘I’d never set eyes on him until he was suddenly married to my mother. I guess he must have been around all the years I was growing up, especially in view of what you’ve said.’
‘So why did he do it then?’ Mel snapped.
‘Our fathers had become friends, apparently. Good friends, according to your dad. Even though my dad knew all about the affair.’
‘A doormat. That figures. Anyone could wipe their shit all over him.’
Karin told herself to ignore the swiping because Mel was a victim too. ‘I guess he just loved my mum. Too much. Look I know you’re angry, Mel, and I don’t blame you. I’m angry too.’
‘Just tell me why he topped himself, will you?’
Karin paused. How far should she go with this?
‘Okay. So erm. So he told me that the reason he couldn’t live with himself any more was because he’d witnessed my dad having a heart attack. And I mean like right in front of him.’ Karin felt her voice falter. She cleared her throat, trying to focus on the facts rather than how they made her feel. ‘And he just watched my dad die. He did absolutely nothing until it was too late. Deliberately called the ambulance once he knew my dad was already dead. This is what he told me, Mel. You can believe me or not but it’s the truth. Your dad told me he was really ashamed for what he’d done. Or rather, not done.’
She paused.
‘And there’s something else too.’
‘What?’ Mel said, tersely.
‘He said that he was also ashamed because he’d deceived his wife and family for all those years. Especially his daughter. Said he couldn’t live with himself any more, carrying round so much guilt.’
At that point, Karin felt the full force of her own guilt; it punched her in the stomach. She wished she could tell Mel the complete truth. If she did that, though, she would certainly end up in jail.
The words came out as if they had been pre-recorded:
‘And then he kicked the steps from under his own feet and hanged himself. It was very quick, Mel.’
Karin allowed her another pause.
It was Mel’s turn to look anguished. Unlike Mel, Karin got no pleasure in saying any of this.
‘I wish I’d known it was you he was talking about. I could have loved you as my sister, Mel, I really could. That would have made me so happy.’
‘Sod that. Your happiness is no concern of mine.’
Clearly Mel had made up her mind a long time ago only to hate Karin. Revenge, money, they were the only things that would sweeten her bitterness now.
‘There’s something else you should know, about what happened,’ Karin heard herself say. She could feel the blinding pain between her eyes.
Legs swinging.
Side to side. A human pendulum.
‘We tried to save him. Me and my mother. Both of us tried really hard. But we couldn’t get to him in time. He’d already kicked the steps away before we could reach him.’
Karin’s heart was racing so fast she could hardly manage to breathe. Her fingers tightened round her wrist, cutting off the blood supply to her other hand.
‘I really couldn’t care less,’ said Mel.
At that moment Aaron appeared, fresh out of the shower. A fragrance of shampoo trailed behind him into the kitchen, but it was soon choked by the bleach.
‘I’m going to pack,’ he announced, filling a glass of water from the tap, drinking it in one go. He filled it up again and took it with him, heading back out.
‘Aaron,’ shouted Karin.
She shot up and followed him into the bedroom.
He was reaching for his suitcase from the top shelf of the wardrobe. Karin wondered if he had noticed the one she had already packed for herself. He was ignoring it if he had.
‘I’m sorry, Karin. I’ll let Mel explain.’