At five o'clock, Heidi was waiting for Frank Dyson at the same table at the same bar where they’d met the previous day. He walked in grinning from ear-to-ear, and from the look on his face it didn't seem like he was going to renege on their deal.
"Heidi, how are you?"
She stood up to greet him, and as usual, he kissed her on both cheeks. She noticed he was clean-shaven this afternoon, not sweaty, and more presentably dressed.
When they sat down, he ordered a drink. “Do you want something to eat? Another drink?"
"No, but thanks. I’ll just stick with my sparkling water with lime.” This time, she wasn’t concerned about what he thought about her not drinking. “What is it you wanted to see me about?”
"I had no idea this morning, and that's what I wanted to see you about."
She thought back over what he said. It didn’t make sense. “I’m sorry. No idea about what?”
"I thought you and I could go to dinner tonight and then head to Las Vegas for Christmas."
She was so shocked she burst out laughing. Then her laughter subsided when she realized he was making an indecent proposal. "Frank, you’re married, aren’t you?"
"Yes, but my wife's away for Christmas. I had no idea she was going away until this morning.”
Heidi couldn’t believe what she heard. She ran a hand over her head, raking through her cropped hair. It was such an awkward situation. "No. I'm sorry, I just can't do that."
He leaned forward. "I've always liked you, Heidi.” He reached out and touched her hand, and she pulled it away.
"This relationship has to be purely business, Frank. I respect you as a developer and a businessman, and as a professional friend, but anything else is totally out of the question."
He straightened up and his jaw stiffened. Gone was his smile and she was sure she was going to lose the business he’d just given her. “I'm putting a lot of business your way."
"And I appreciate it, and in return, my staff and I are going to make you a lot of money."
He stared at her for a while, chuckled, and then wagged his finger at her. "I'm not going to give up on you."
"When it comes to this, you should. This relationship is just business and that’s all it’ll ever be. I’ve got no idea what made you think otherwise." She gave a little tremble.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked with rising eyebrows.
Derek popped into her mind. "Yes, I'm practically married."
The waiter brought him his drink.
When the waiter left, he said, "Tell me more about this man you're practically married to."
"No, I don't talk about him. With you and me.” She pointed to him and then pointed to herself. "This relationship we have is not going to go where you want it to—ever, so if you expect anything more or if I gave you the wrong impression somehow, I'm sorry. If that means you’ll take your business away then do it."
He breathed out heavily. "A deal is a deal, and we shook on it. I just thought we could have a nice time in Las Vegas."
"I'm glad we understand each other. Now, I need to know you’ll never say anything like that to me again." She folded her arms and stared at him.
He smiled. “I won’t. You shouldn’t be so beautiful, though. I mean, what’s a man to do?”
While she sipped on her drink, she wondered why life was often such a battle. “As soon as I finish this drink, I have to go. I need to get your apartments leased.”
“That’s what I like to hear.”
After a long drawn out day, and with the stressful meeting at the end of it, Heidi opened the door of her apartment and kicked off her shoes. What if the reason she’d never found love in New York City was because she’d been meant to marry Derek?
Before she heated her dinner, she settled down to read some more of her grandmother’s diary.
Today I arrived in Oakland Maryland. I can only write a little bit because it’s so late and I need to get some sleep.
I’ve been here a day now, staying with Bishop Silas and his wife, Leah. I found out my mother writes to Leah a lot and they take part in circle letters. They’re the letters that keep arriving at the house. The bishop’s house was full of people all day. Leah explained that they have twelve kinner and the younger ones in the haus are her grosskinner. Since the older three are married and have twelve kinner between them, Leah looks after the young ones during the day. I don’t think I’ve ever met a happier woman than Leah. No matter what I say she laughs about it. She’s a happy person to be around.
When there was a quiet moment, I asked, “When is Malachi Arnold arriving?”
She put her hand over her mouth and giggled loudly. “That’s supposed to be a surprise,” she said. “Malachi will be here the day after tomorrow,” she finally told me.
I told her he has appeared everywhere I’ve stayed, and she pressed her lips together and didn’t say any more.
Bishop Silas is a quiet man and at first I thought that was because he didn’t like me, or didn’t want me there. I’ve watched him today, though, and saw he’s like that with everyone. The house here is very small and I don’t know where everybody sleeps. They put me in the attic, which is small and only has room for one bed and one nightstand. I have my bag in front of the nightstand and there’s no place for anything else. I can’t hang any of my dresses because I’m under the part of the roof where it slants. It’s hot there, but not too hot to prevent me sleeping.
One of Leah’s grosskinner, a cute little boy of around six, told me that I’m staying in his playroom. I said I was very sorry and I wouldn’t be staying there for long–just a few days. He got into trouble for saying that to me and this time Leah wasn’t laughing. Her words were stern and she frowned. I felt a little bad for him and when I saw him sitting alone, I wanted to suggest that I play with him. I wanted to make it up with him, but Leah had me too busy in the kitchen.
Today I’m starting to miss home. It sounded like a big adventure when I started and I’m glad I have traveled long distances, but I’m always tired afterward. I miss Furball. I miss him sleeping on my bed and seeing him during the day under the covers as a lump on my bed. He’s just always there, ready for me to stroke his gray fur. When I speak to him softly, he stretches out and paws at the air and purrs loudly. I like cats because they don’t demand anything and are just there when you want to talk to them. They don’t come chasing after you like dogs do. At least, Furball doesn’t.
Today, Leah’s oldest daughter, Becky, who isn't married, collected me and took me back to her house. She showed me what she does for a living. She makes clay tiles and I can’t believe she sells enough of them to make enough money to live on. The tiles are really pretty. She takes them to the markets to sell them, and sometimes she sells them at roadside stalls.
I asked Becky what kind of clay she uses and she said she uses the kind of clay that teacups are made out of. She does it all out in her barn and she has three big kilns. There were so many different patterns of tiles. I can’t imagine someone tiling a whole kitchen with these tiles but perhaps they’d look good with a few in amongst a whole lot of plain tiles. That might look all right. She showed me how the tiles are fired in a kiln, pressed, then glazed. Once they’re glazed it gives them a lovely smooth surface to apply the decorations. They even used pictures from postcards on some of the tiles, by tracing the pictures by hand, and then lastly putting them in the kiln again.
I was at Becky’s place for a good part of the day and she even let me make a tile. I traced one of the pictures and then it was put into the kiln. Then she took me back to Leah’s in time to help with the evening meal. It was such a wonderful day and she said she’d bring the tile over when it was finished firing and I could take it home with me.
Tomorrow is the Sunday meeting and it’s to be held at Becky’s house. She said there were going to be three baptisms.
Reading about the meeting and baptism reminded Heidi that she couldn’t see herself living in the community, in the closed off life and wearing those shapeless clothes. She was an individual, and the idea of the community was to play down individuality. But didn’t God see everybody as individuals? If the very hairs on our head are numbered, surely we are individuals in God’s sight?
The trouble was, she thought differently than everybody else in the community. Heidi wasn’t about to just take what the oversight leaders told her. She questioned things and there were things that couldn’t be explained, like what had happened to her.
With a better understanding of who her grandmother was, she threw the book down on the coffee table and then headed to put her dinner in the microwave. It was the same old routine, but tonight, she didn’t even bother surfing through the TV channels. She grabbed her dinner out of the microwave, sat on her wide window seat and looked down at the traffic and the crowds. As she ate, she watched the world go by.
Later that evening, emptiness washed over Heidi. She yearned for her comfortable Amish home, her kinner, and Derek. She’d give up everything just for another moment with them. That was where she belonged. She knew that now, but had she left things too late? Had she sacrificed her opportunity when she asked God to bring her back to New York City?
Emptiness gnawed at her heart.