That night, she picked up her grandmother’s diary again and prayed to go back home, back to Derek and the children. In the brief time she’d been with them, she’d found looking after the children tough, but at times it had been wonderful. All of life had ups and downs and she wanted to spend them all with her family—the good times and the bad.
She turned her face up to heaven and prayed once more. “God, if any of this is real and I can go to my other reality, I’m asking you to please take me back to Derek and my family. I feel that is where I belong. Amen.” To help her prayers be answered, she took her grandmother’s book to bed, so she could replicate exactly what she had done when she’d crossed dimensions the last two times.
She opened the book at the last entry anxious to know if Agnes had married the man she was falling for. Had Agnes’s mother arranged for Malachi to be everywhere Agnes went?
These were the last pages of her grandmother’s entries. If God blessed Heidi and by some miracle she ended back with the children and Derek, she’d try every last one of the recipes Agnes had recorded.
She could barely stay awake, but she found she couldn’t wait to find out which of those men had become her grandfather. Even though she’d never met her paternal grandmother, now she knew her. Perhaps that’s why Agnes had kept a diary, for the following generations to learn from.
I’m starting to see a pattern as I go from place to place. Everybody seems to be an expert on one special thing, or some special dish. I wonder what Leah’s speciality is. Dinner tonight was nice, but it was just plain old roasted chicken and roasted vegetables. That was that. It was nice, but there was no special recipe and no secrets to learn. All there was to do was put the meat and the vegetables in the oven. Anybody could do that.
What speciality does Leah have? She must have one and I’m going to ask her tomorrow.
Heidi turned the page to keep reading. "Ah, this must be the next night because she starts on a new page," she said to herself.
I found out that Leah is an expert bread maker. I thought that’s what Aunt Elsie was, but Aunt Elsie could do everything well. Leah told me that one of the things about making bread was to knead the dough very well to make sure there are no air bubbles.
Before I started making bread, I thought that the more air in the dough, the more it would rise, but no, that’s not right. I mentioned that to Leah, and she laughed.
Leah also said to let it stand for a good forty minutes before putting it into the oven and the dough should double in size. To check if it’s ready, put your thumb into the dough about an inch, if the mixture springs back into place, it’s not ready to go into the oven. If the hole stays there, it’s ready to be baked.
It also shocked me to learn that the weather can affect the bread. No one had ever told me that before.
Once the bread is done, Leah said to take it out of the pan immediately so it doesn’t sweat.
Leah has a special bread starter that was her mother’s and she will give some of it to me to take when I leave. She said if I use the bread starter and follow her instructions exactly, then my bread should be every bit as good as hers. If it isn’t, she said to keep trying and keep at it.
Because there are so many mouths to feed at the house here, Leah makes bread every day. The smell of the bread reminds me so much of home.
I’m excited because Malachi is arriving tomorrow. He’ll be staying at Leah’s oldest son’s house. I met him today, his name is James and his wife is Emily. Their son, Caleb, is the one who’s annoyed because I’m sleeping in the attic space that he says is his playroom. That’s all I can write now because I’m so tired. I’m more than half way through the pages in this book. I hope the pages don’t run out before I get back home. There are no mercantiles around here to buy another one just like this one.
Day three of staying with Leah and the bishop. Malachi arrived today. I was having a break from the kitchen duties and was out in the yard playing catch with Caleb when a buggy drove up to the house. I held my breath and hoped it was Malachi, and it was. James had brought Malachi to say hello to his (James's) parents.
I had a chance to talk to him when Caleb ran to his father. Malachi gave me a big smile and I asked him what he was doing there.
He said again that he was just traveling around. I asked him if he thought it strange that we keep seeing each other and he said he didn’t think it was. Now I know that he is without a clue that my mother is trying to pair us together. If he knew, we could’ve laughed about it. Before I could say anything, Leah came out of the house to greet him. She invited him to dinner that night and James asked if they could come tomorrow instead because his wife had already cooked a special dinner for tonight. So now I get to see Malachi tomorrow night for dinner here at the house.
I’m looking forward to making more bread tomorrow. I didn’t know it was so involved. There definitely is a difference in the taste and texture between Leah’s bread and Mamm’s. I guess that means it's worth the extra effort.
Before he left, James asked me if I would like to go with Malachi tomorrow and have a look at James’s onkel’s place where he makes buggies. I looked over at Leah to see if she would mind. I didn’t know if my mother would like me doing something without the approval of my host family.
Leah smiled and suggested that I go along and said I’d enjoy it. Now I’m seeing a lot of Malachi tomorrow.
James is coming to the house at ten to get me and then bringing me back in the mid-afternoon. I guess that will be in time to help Leah with the dinner. Anyway, if I’m late, there are plenty of other helpers here. Her two teenage girls are fourteen and fifteen. They are nothing like Leah. They are quiet and more like their father. The rest of Leah and the bishop’s kinner are boys.
Now it’s day four at Leah’s and I’ve already been to the buggy-maker's. Today has been the best day of my life. I got such a surprise when I was waiting outside for James and then when the buggy pulled up I saw that the driver of the buggy was Malachi. It turns out that James couldn’t come at the last minute, and Malachi had been given directions to the place with the buggies. I wasn’t really interested in seeing how they made buggies. I’ve seen enough of it before, back in my community. I only said yes to James so I could spend more time with Malachi.
If I’d known it was just going to be Malachi and me, I might have talked to Leah and organized a picnic basket. I could tell by the look on Malachi’s face he was pleased to be taking me to the Wilsons' buggy making yard.
Mr. Wilson was waiting outside when we got there. He was wearing a straw hat, and he had a long white beard and thin-rimmed round glasses, and he was wearing dark gray pants and a long-sleeved lighter-gray shirt.
He told us that Amish buggies were always changing. The wheels were changing and he was now making wheels similar to racing buggies. Other places buy his buggy wheels, he said with a mix of pride and modesty.
Then he said next week he and his wife were heading to York and they could take me in their buggy. It seemed everyone knew exactly where I was going and for how long I was staying. I thanked him and said I would appreciate going with them to York. Then I couldn’t stop smiling because I will be so close to home when I get to York, and I miss everyone so much.
Then Mr. Wilson told us about how the buggies in different communities were slightly different. Malachi and I both knew that by now and had noticed different colors and different styles during our travels. He said that, just like cars, the buggies were continually improving and slight changes were being made all the time.
When Mr. Wilson finished showing us around, we both thanked him. It was a very nice thing for him to take time off his work and show us so many things. His wife came out with lemonade and sandwiches and we all sat in the shade of a large tree and ate while the two dogs sat watching us, hoping for some tidbits. Mr. and Mrs. Wilson warned me not to feed them, or they wouldn’t leave me alone. It was hard to watch the small dogs looking at me with their large brown eyes as I put the food into my mouth.
When we were done, we had a lovely drive back to Leah’s house.
I turned to Malachi and was brave. This is what I said, “Are you traveling to different communities because you’re looking for a fraa?”
He looked over at me and smiled. “Why would I tell you that? It might be a secret.”
“I won’t tell anyone. Have you found anybody you like yet?”
He chuckled and I’m sure I saw him blush. Then he looked over at me. “Who said that’s what I’ve been doing?”
“If you don’t tell me, I’ll have to think that’s what you’re doing.”
“I told you, I’m having a look at different places much like yourself. Are you looking for a husband?”
That made me laugh. “I can tell you that I’m not looking for a husband.”
“And I can tell you I’m not looking for a husband either.”
I laughed again. I never knew he was so funny, but I never talked to him alone until today. We’ve always been within a group and when he’s been at home, Mamm and Dat were always there.
I never found out why he was traveling around and there was no use asking him again. We talked about home and he made me feel less homesick. He misses his dog, Gruff. I’ve seen his dog when we had meetings at his parents’ house. It’s the ugliest dog I’ve ever seen. Gruff's got orange fur and a lot of it, and one ear is torn. He had Gruff since he was really young and the dog is old now. Malachi told me Gruff wasn’t too good the day before he left. He’s worried he’ll get home to find his dog has died.
It was nice to see a man care so much about his pet dog. As we drove on, we talked a lot more, but I can’t remember what we talked about. It wasn’t about anything in particular, but he kept making me laugh. If I keep laughing, I’ll become like Leah.
I asked him if he was going to Morgantown, as that was my next stop. He told me he was going in the opposite direction. I don’t know if he was saying that as a joke, because by then we were back at Leah’s house and I couldn’t find out. He had James’s buggy, so he had to leave me there and then he would come back later for the evening meal.
I helped Leah and her daughters cook. I can’t count how many came for dinner tonight. I guess there must’ve been thirty adults and just as many children. We cooked a large ham, and lots of roasted vegetables and mashed potatoes.
Malachi was one of the last to leave and I hoped he was staying late to talk to me some more. I stayed up late to help the girls clean the kitchen and do the last of the washing up and now I’m so tired I could fall asleep standing up.
So, here I am, staying with the bishop at Morgantown. Mr. and Mrs. Wilson were to bring me to stay with a friend of my mother’s, Vida. When we arrived at the house, there were people there and we found out Vida died last night in her sleep. It was quite sad, I thought. Now instead of learning her cooking secrets, I’m going to her funeral soon, and I don’t even know her. Mamm will be so sad. Another one of her circle-letter ladies has died. This is the second one this year.
Bishop John, from this community, asked me if I would mind staying with him and his wife until after the funeral, and then he would arrange for me to get to my next place, which will be York. I told him all of that was fine with me.
When I get to York, I’ll nearly be home.
The funeral was today, three days after Vida died. She had one son and that’s all. He left the community many years ago. No one knew how to contact him. I wrote to Mamm about Vida and I hope the letter gets there before I get home.
The graveyard was on sloping land. It was only a small graveyard, like the town itself, which I suppose makes perfect sense. There has been no sign of Malachi and I’m very upset. Perhaps I shouldn’t have questioned him so much about why he always turned up at the places where I was. I probably frightened him away. I just wanted to get to know him a little better.
I arrived in York just past sunset. I’m staying with a widow, Ruth Yoder, who has raised ten children. Ten minutes after I arrived there, she told me my mother wants me to know how to run a household. I consider I can do all that now, but I’m still open to learning other things. One thing I know; I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed in my own room with Furball again. I’ll show everyone at home how good my cooking is and everybody will be surprised. I’d reckon I’d know more than Mamm about cooking some things by now. Especially bread baking, because sometimes her bread doesn’t turn out so good. I’d never tell her that, of course, but maybe when I get home she'll let me take over that task. You’d think with all those years of baking it, her bread would be good by now.
I’m really missing Malachi and if I marry him someday, I’ll be happy.
Heidi closed the diary. Her grandmother was falling in love with Malachi and she was reading about it.
That night, Heidi went to sleep with a smile on her face as she thought about what Agnes had said at the beginning of the diary. And that was that she didn’t want to fall in love in a mushy way. Now she was heading that way with Malachi, if she was writing about missing him. Heidi was certain that’s how Agnes’s story was going to end, with her marrying Malachi.
God, please take me back home. I don’t want this life. I just want my family back. She closed her eyes, too tired to finish the rest of her grandmother’s story and hoping she’d wake up to Derek’s soft lips on her forehead telling her he’s going to work for the last day before Christmas. She remembered she said she didn’t mind if he worked on Christmas Eve. Maybe before her accident they’d arranged to do something else that day. Otherwise, why would she mind?
If she woke up and found herself back home, she and the girls could pretty the house for Christmas. She’d bake more cookies and make that special meal Derek had mentioned to take to his parents for Christmas. Then she decided to use one of her grandmother’s recipes as well. She fell asleep hugging Agnes’s diary to her chest.