Lowe is sitting behind his desk. Next to him stands Holt. He’s already bawled me out for not finding anything during the search. After Holt called me, I returned to the hospital where I tried to explain to Penny what had happened, but she left without saying a word beyond a perfunctory discussion that there was no change with Megan.
I apologized to Megan for my absence and determined my penance would be to stay awake all night reading to her, trying to make up for the hours I’d been away.
Penny made it clear that she would only return to sit with Megan this morning so I could attend this meeting, but I had to get back immediately after it finished.
‘Take a seat, Ally.’
‘I’m OK standing.’
‘So be it.’ Lowe takes a huge breath. ‘Do you know why you’re here?’
I glance at Holt. How much has he told Lowe? Lowe appears to read my mind and duly answers my question. ‘I know you tipped DI Holt off about evidence in Simon Pascoe’s house that related to Janie Warren and Cheryl Black. I also know you visited Pascoe’s house yesterday morning.’
So, Holt has told him everything. This is what it feels like to be hung out to dry, but while my methods are questionable, the facts are unalterable. Pascoe attacked Megan and killed Janie and Cheryl.
‘That’s right. I suspected Pascoe was involved in Megan’s attack. I told Bob of my suspicions, but he said there wasn’t enough evidence to act so I went to the house to find that evidence. What I found was Cheryl Black’s vape. I contacted Bob immediately. Clearly, by the time the police arrived, Jackie Pascoe had already told her husband of my visit and he had disposed of the vape.’
‘Did DI Holt have prior knowledge that you intended to go to Simon Pascoe’s house?’
‘No. I acted alone.’
‘You made me look like a right idiot, that’s what you did.’
‘That wasn’t my intention and I know what I saw. Like I said, Pascoe got there first.’
‘You do realize how serious this is, don’t you?’
‘Yes, but I had to do something. Simon Pascoe set up Peter Benson and attacked Megan. I went to Pascoe’s house to look for proof and I got it, and much more. Pascoe killed Janie Warren and Cheryl Black. Maybe there are more. Maybe we even have a serial killer on our hands.’
Holt sighs.
‘Warren was the victim of a domestic and Black died in an accidental fire.’
‘That is what Pascoe wants us to believe. Like he wants us to believe Peter Benson attacked Megan.’
‘That’s bullshit,’ says Holt.
‘No, it’s not. Why would I make it up?’
‘Because you’re still pissed off at me over the Warren and Black case and now, unbelievably, you’re trying to screw up the investigation into your own daughter’s attempted murder.’
‘I’m not screwing up anything. I’m trying to get to the truth.’
‘What – by threatening the guy on TV? By going around to the suspect’s house and bothering his mother? By intimidating innocent members of the public?’
‘What?’ interjects Lowe.
‘Oh yeah, you’ll love this one. She went to Benson’s house, pretending she needed to do another search. Five minutes there and she decides Simon Pascoe somehow broke into his Wi-Fi and used it to groom her daughter. You’re in the wrong game, Ally, you should be writing crime fiction.’
Lowe is rubbing his face.
‘OK, thank you for your input, DI Holt, I’d like to speak to Ms Dymond in private.’
Holt leaves. Lowe lets out a long, disappointed sigh. The kind of sigh a senior officer releases when one of their own has fallen short.
‘What the hell is going on with you? I’ve read your file, Ally. You’ve never even had a parking ticket. You alienated your colleagues on Major Investigations because you weren’t prepared to protect a bent copper and see a kid go down on false evidence. That is the Ally Dymond I know.’
‘Steve, hear me out. I admit I’ve done a couple of things that are inappropriate.’ We both know that’s stretching it, but I ignore his raised eyebrow. ‘But I wouldn’t put my career on the line if I didn’t think I was right.’
He nods. He can relate to this. No one jeopardizes their career without good cause.
‘Go on.’
‘I’ve been a CSI for a long time. I’ve examined more crime scenes than I can count and – from the very beginning – this one didn’t add up so I went and checked it out for myself. I’m absolutely certain someone walked down through the woods from the housing estate and attacked my daughter before running back to the estate. That someone was Simon Pascoe, who was parked alone in an ambulance at the back entrance to the woods the whole time. He’d already met Megan when she had an accident at school, and he was called to attend her. God knows why but I think Megan has another Instagram account and somehow Pascoe got those details out of her and began grooming her online. He set Benson up. Benson is telling the truth. He’s never been on Instagram. I bet he doesn’t even know what it is. Simon used Benson’s Wi-Fi to communicate with Megan. And I saw those items at Pascoe’s house. I’m telling you, Pascoe is a killer. You have to stop him. He will kill again. Megan just got lucky.’
Lowe is shaking his head.
‘I’ve looked at the files, Ally. They’re watertight. Chris Banstead strangled Janie Warren, a stray cigarette killed Cheryl Black and Peter Benson attacked your daughter. I know you’re upset and angry that the paramedics didn’t get there more quickly.’
‘Wait, no, that’s not true. I’m not upset about that. Did Pascoe say that?’
He ignores my protests.
‘I also know you’re under huge stress with your daughter still ill in hospital, but I can’t ignore this. You don’t need me to tell you your behaviour constitutes gross misconduct in a public office.’
‘Steve, no, wait. I know I shouldn’t have blagged my way into Peter’s house or Pascoe’s, but please listen to me. I did it for good reasons. Suspend me, sack me, do what you want, but please investigate Simon Pascoe. He’s a killer. In fact, I’m pretty sure that isn’t even his real name. And there’s only one reason to change your name and that’s because you have something to hide. Christ, he could be a serial killer.’
‘That’s enough. I have listened to you and I’ve listened to the others. Your behaviour isn’t rational and neither can I ignore it. I’m suspending you immediately, pending an inquiry and, Ally, I strongly advise you to get a decent brief.’
Penny and I are sitting either side of Megan’s bedside. Her gaze trained on Megan, she listens, stony-faced, as I relay my meeting with Lowe. When I finish, she looks over at me.
‘So what happens now?’
‘I’ll be referred to Professional Standards. They’ll investigate and decide if I’m guilty of gross misconduct.’
Me. On a gross misconduct charge. I don’t even park the CSI van on double yellows and now I’m facing the prospect of losing my job. I left Lowe’s office numb at the thought. Nothing I could say would change his mind and now I’m facing the sack while Pascoe roams the streets.
‘And if you are?’
‘I’ll be kicked off the force.’
Surely, they’ll see sense. My phone will ring any second now and it’ll be Lowe telling me he’s gone over the files again and he believes me. Pascoe is a killer and because of my part in bringing him to justice, I’m exonerated. ‘Just don’t do it again, Ally.’ That’s what would happen if this were a film, but this is real life governed by process and rules and I’ve broken them. Forget Pascoe, this is now about bringing me to justice. Is this how Stride felt? OK, he bent the rules, but for the right reasons and what better reason than seeing a murderer get sent down. But it’s Stride that’s seeing out a prison sentence and Sian Jones’ killer is still out there.
Penny nods.
‘Maybe it would be for the better.’
Her words come at me like a sucker punch and it takes me a few seconds to recover.
‘What? Are you serious?’
She shrugs.
‘Yes, I am serious. You should be here with Megan.’
So there it is. Penny doesn’t have my back at all, but this isn’t just about me, her or even Megan any more.
‘Yes, you’re right. I should be here, but what if Pascoe attacks someone else?’ I spread my arms and cast around the room. ‘I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.’
She shakes her head.
‘But that’s not why you’re doing it, is it?’
‘Of course it is, and to get justice. Not just for Megan now, either, but for Janie and for Cheryl.’
Penny rolls her eyes.
‘That’s assuming you’re right and Pascoe is guilty.’
I can’t believe I’m hearing this, Penny of all people doubting my honesty.
‘Pascoe had Cheryl’s vape.’
‘How do you know it was Cheryl’s? Lots of people have vapes.’
‘I recognized the flavour.’ Penny raises an eyebrow. I know how weak this sounds. ‘I’m certain if Pascoe hadn’t got rid of it we’d have found Cheryl’s DNA on it.’
Penny shakes her head.
‘But you didn’t, did you? And now you’re probably going to lose your job over him. Maybe this would be a good time to leave it be, concentrate on what’s important.’ She looks at Megan. ‘Concentrate on Megan. Put her first.’
‘That’s just the point. I am putting her first. I’m making sure she’ll be safe from the man who attacked her. Don’t you think he’s wondering when she’s going to wake up and what she’ll remember when she does? Megan isn’t safe. And neither is anyone else.’
She nods, finally seeming to relent. Maybe she’s remembering what it’s like to feel unsafe, to live in fear of someone.
‘OK,’ she concedes, ‘but if the police don’t believe you what else can you do? You’ve tried everything.’
I hold her gaze.
‘Not quite everything.’
It’s something that I’ve been mulling over since I left Lowe’s office. It’s what’s known in the trade as a long shot, but there may be a way to end this.
‘What do you mean?’
I stand up to leave.
‘Look, I can’t go into it now, but can you stay with Megan just for a little bit longer? Then, I promise, this will all be over.’
Penny gets up too.
‘No. Not this time. You’re Megan’s mother, not me.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It means I’m tired of being picked up and dropped whenever it suits you. Good old Penny, she’ll take care of Megan. She doesn’t have her own kids. She’s probably grateful for the opportunity.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘Yes, it is. You’ve always got somewhere else to be, but never here by your daughter’s bedside because you’ve always got me to fall back on. Well, guess what? I don’t want to be a surrogate mother for Megan.’
‘Penny, you’ve been brilliant. I know that I’m lucky to have you and so is Megan. Please. Let me do this one last thing and then I promise I’ll never ask anything of you again.’
I move towards the door expecting her to give me a defeated wave and tell me it’s OK to go, but don’t be long. She doesn’t.
‘I mean it, Ally, if you walk out of that door, our friendship is over for good. When Megan is better, you can start looking for somewhere else to live. I want you out of Seven Hills.’
I don’t know where this has come from; I’ve never seen her so determined before. She means it, but so do I.
The door closes behind me.