It was a chilly day and Buffy twisted her scarf twice around her neck. But everything was calm. The sun was shining and small birds were chittering in the bushes.
Some of the last big bumblebees buzzed around looking for flowers. Soon they would find a place to sleep for the winter.
A mouse family greeted Buffy cheerily. Buffy saluted them and tickled the littlest mouse on the belly. That’s what you do if you are a good police officer.
Badger lived a short way along the path and up a small hill. Buffy whistled happily, although she noted the big dark clouds on the horizon. Soon winter would be here.
At the top of the hill was a small, well-kept cottage. The last flowers of summer bloomed red and yellow in the flower beds.
“Enough food for all the bumblebees,” Buffy thought.
She knocked on the white, freshly painted door.
Clearly Badger was an orderly creature. Even though others found him angry and brusque.
She knocked again. There was no sound from inside.
She opened the door carefully and called, “Yoo-hoo.”
No answer.
She took her hat off and tiptoed inside.
“Yoo-hoo.”
She went along the hallway, where Badger’s shoes were lined up straight, his hat on its hook.
In the kitchen everything was neat and clean, the round table with its checked tablecloth and a small vase. A clock ticked on the wall.
She called again. “Yoo-hoo.”
Then she peeped into the next room, clearly Badger’s bedroom. Yes, there was the bed and in it lay a large figure, snoring.
She knocked on the door frame and said quietly, “Badger, in relation to your report of noises in the night...”
He snored even louder. Buffy knocked again.
“My name is Detective Buffy.”
No. Finally she went over to the bed and poked him gently. His coat was prickly and coarse. She shook him. “Yoo-hoo.”
Suddenly he shot up to stand beside the bed. He stamped angrily on the floor.
“Where are your manners!” he cried. “Have you come to disturb me again? I’ll call the police.”
“Yoo-hoo,” said Buffy quietly, waving one paw. “The police are here.”
“Who are you, breaking into my house?”
“Detective Buffy,” said Buffy.
“I can’t hear what you’re saying!” shouted Badger. “Speak up, mouse!”
Buffy put on her police hat and saluted. Now he seemed to understand.
“I am here on account of sir’s report of noises in the night,” she said.
At last, he calmed down and they sat at the kitchen table.
Buffy was good at dealing with all sorts of animals, approaching them in just the right way. If they were angry, she could calm them down by smiling politely. If they were afraid, she could comfort them with a little sympathy. You have to be able to do that as a police officer.
Badger began by complaining that he slept badly at night. The tiniest noise woke him. He slept so badly that he was exhausted in the daytime. He was never, ever able to sleep, he said.
Buffy said nothing about how hard it had been to wake him but took out her notebook.
“Last night I heard brumbling and scrorching outside!”
Buffy wrote brumbling and scrorching. What did they mean?
“And when I came out, they had destroyed my very fine trash can. Inherited from my forebears. Freshly painted a beautiful shade of green.”
“Aha,” said Buffy. “Sir went to go to bed. He heard brumbling.”
“And scrorching,” Badger clarified.
“What does brumbling mean again?”
Badger uttered a coarse, rumbling growl, so much so that he started to cough.
“That’s how it sounded, but even worse!” he said. “And without the cough.”
“And scrorching?” Buffy wondered. “No, sir does not need to imitate the sound!”
“The tearing rasp of rough surfaces over huge mountains…”
Buffy nodded and took notes.
“And then?”
“Then I opened the door and asked them to be a little quieter.”
“Them?”
“Yes, there were certainly several of them doing it. Up the mountain.”
“I see, and what exactly did sir say to them?”
Badger demonstrated. He flew up from his chair and over to the door. He threw the door open and shouted to the world outside: “MIND YOUR MANNERS, YOU SCOUNDRELS, NOW BE QUIET!”
Buffy had dropped her notebook in fright.
“Gosh, do you think you might be overreacting a little?” she asked carefully.
“What?” said Badger. “I can never sleep. I never do sleep.”
“Do your friends sometimes tell you that you’re getting over bothered?”
“Mind your manners! No one has told me that.”
“I see.”
A long pause.
“Well, I have no friends to speak of,” said Badger quietly.
Buffy thought. Lonely and angry and unable to sleep. It was clearly not easy being an old badger.
“I’d like you to come to the police station tomorrow,” said Buffy.
“What! Am I a suspect? Will the scoundrels go free while I sit in prison?”
Buffy smiled at him. The polite and friendly police smile.
“What! WHAT!” cried Badger, increasingly angry.
This badger misunderstood almost everything.
“I thought you might come and have a cup of tea. And a cake.”
“Well,” he said in surprise. “Tea? Alright, yes. I thought you were going to put me in prison…”
Buffy explained that they didn’t have a prison anymore. It had been converted into a bedroom for the police. The police station was much nicer these days.
“Shall I bring the trash can with me?” Badger wondered.
“No,” decided Buffy. It was better that they looked at it together now. After all, she had her magnifying glass with her.
As they walked outside, Buffy thought that this case was practically solved. Badger was angry. And he had no friends. With someone to talk to, he would probably be happier. Then he might stop bellowing if anyone disturbed him from up on the mountain. And if he didn’t complain, others wouldn’t get angry with him and tip over his trash can.
Buffy whistled a happy tune.
They went around the house and there was the can. Oh! She was so surprised, she dropped the magnifying glass and it cracked through.
It had been a solid trash can made of thick metal, beautifully painted green, with a heavy lid.
Now the lid was wrecked, completely buckled, with big holes in it. And the can itself had been ripped up. As if it was a paper cup torn into pieces.
“Look.” Badger pointed out the holes in the lid. “This is where the scoundrels have hacked in with their sharp claws. Or gigantic teeth.”
“Th-th-this will have to be thoroughly investigated,” said Buffy.
And she certainly didn’t need the magnifying glass for that.