Seventeen

Esther and Lizzie sat propped up in bed, lanterns lit on both of their nightstands. They stared at the box Naomi had brought over, along with the envelope and card that had been taped to the outside.

“We’re not meant to open that box.” Esther shook her head. On the outside of the envelope, she recognized her mother’s handwriting. Esther and Lizzie. But after they’d read the card, it didn’t appear the contents were for them. The short note only said:

It is important to me that Gus be given this box after mei passing.

Leib,

Mamm

Lizzie pulled her long gray hair over her shoulder, twisting it into a wet rope that was dripping on the sheet. Esther gently slapped her hand. “Stop that.”

Lizzie groaned as she released the mass of hair. “Of course we’re meant to open it.” She picked up the envelope and pointed. “See, here are our names.”

Esther wanted nothing more than to tear into that box. Maybe there was a clue inside about why their mother had made them promise to let Gus live in the cottage.

“And that envelope was barely taped to the box, easy for us to pull off.” Esther shook her head again, her wet hair pinned in a bun on top of her head. “Look at the amount of tape wrapped around the box. There are layers of it.”

“That doesn’t mean we aren’t supposed to open it.” Lizzie picked up the box and shook it. “It’s not very heavy, but it’s not files or papers. More like a football hitting the sides of the box, or maybe something a little heavier but about the same size.”

“It doesn’t feel right to open it.” Esther’s fingers itched to get a knife and start cutting through the packing tape that had yellowed over time. Even the envelope and card were discolored with a light brownish tint, making Esther wonder how long ago her mother had written the note and packed the contents.

“Maybe Mamm had an affair, and Gus is our long-lost bruder.” Lizzie covered her face with her hands and moaned. “Just shoot me if that’s the case. The thought of sharing the same DNA with that man makes mei toes curl.”

Ach, hush now. You’ve brought that up before, and we both know Mamm never would have done anything like that.”

“Then why, oh why, have we been forced to tolerate that man for the remainder of our time here on Earth? These are supposed to be our golden years, but Gus tarnishes each and every one of them.”

Esther recalled asking Gus about his arrangement with their mother. He’d said, “If she wanted you to know, I reckon she would have told you.” Since Gus wouldn’t reveal any information about their relationship, it was even more of a mystery.

“Gus isn’t Amish, for one thing. And he’s only been around for eleven or twelve years.” Esther tucked loose strands of hair back into the bun on her head.

Lizzie sat straighter as her eyebrows arched mischievously. “Thus the term ‘long-lost bruder.’ He could have returned like a prodigal sohn.”

“He’s not our bruder. There must be something else.” Esther shrugged. “Or maybe it’s just personal papers Mamm had been holding on to for Gus. Maybe it’s his birth certificate, or a passport, or medical records.” She raised and lowered her shoulders again. “Things like that. They could be inside another container inside the box.”

“You’re probably right.” Lizzie lifted the box onto her lap. “So there’s no harm opening it.” She picked at the tape with a fingernail. “Go get a knife.”

Esther yanked the box from her sister’s lap and placed it at the foot of the bed. “We’re not opening it. We will give it to Gus, and it will be up to him whether or not to tell us what’s inside.”

Lizzie glared at the box but didn’t reach for it again. She rolled her lip into a pout, even more pronounced without her dentures in. “I don’t like that idea, Esther.”

“I’m as curious as you are, but it just doesn’t feel right to open it.” She thought for a few moments. “What do we know about Gus?” Before Lizzie had time to list Gus’s bad qualities, she said, “We know he has a dochder, but do you know if he was ever married?”

“I think Mamm mentioned it once, but I don’t remember for sure.” Lizzie pointed to the box. “There might be a marriage certificate in there.”

“The first year he had Thanksgiving with us, he mentioned he’d worked at a meat market and said that was why he should carve the turkey.” Esther tapped a finger to her chin. “What else do we know about that man?”

“That he’s cranky, rude, and mean.” Lizzie huffed. “And he only cares about himself.”

Esther eyed the box as other memories came into her mind. “But he was also very gut to me during my medical tests and appointments.” She turned to Lizzie and widened her eyes. “And just this past week, he saved that actress’s life by jumping in the water to rescue her.”

Lizzie fell back against her pillow and moaned again. “You give him way too much credit, and his dochder doesn’t seem to care for him either.”

Esther told Lizzie about Gus inviting Heather to the short screening of the movie clip. “I’m surprised she agreed to attend since they fought so badly during her visit last year,” Esther said. She shivered as she recalled the vicious words father and daughter had thrown at each other.

“Maybe she thinks he’s getting money for being a background person.” Lizzie cackled. “We both know that mouthy boss man just gave Gus a role so he wouldn’t whine about the generators on those buses.”

Esther’s heart hurt for Gus. “I overheard Mr. Clarkson say he had no intention of including Gus in the movie background. Gus is going to be humiliated if his daughter is there just to see him in a movie.” She waited for Lizzie to laugh or make a snide remark, but her sister just twisted her mouth from side to side and stayed quiet.

“Maybe I should tell Gus what I overheard.” Esther recalled the way he pleaded with her to attend, saying how nervous he would be without her there.

“Maybe.” Lizzie pressed her lips together.

Esther was surprised Lizzie wasn’t latching onto any information she could throw in Gus’s face. Maybe there was a tiny soft spot for Gus buried somewhere in Lizzie’s psyche, even if she didn’t realize it.

“But what if I’m wrong or overheard incorrectly? I could be stirring up trouble for nothing.” Esther eyed the box, her temptation bubbling to a boil, but she was compelled to do what she believed was right in her heart. “Well, we are going to give the box to him.”

Lizzie groaned like she was in misery. “Whatever’s in it might answer questions that have plagued us forever.”

Esther rolled onto her side and extinguished her lantern. She reread the card in the light still shining from Lizzie’s lantern, then put it and the envelope in the drawer of her nightstand. “I will give it to him tomorrow.”

Lizzie grumbled, but she extinguished her lantern too.

*  *  *

Evelyn woke up around three in the morning swatting at something flying around her room. She opened her eyes and realized she’d been dreaming. In a few hours she’d be picked up by Jayce and going inside Bluespring Caverns. Jayce was surely a nervous wreck, and he probably thought she was silly for being afraid of flying creatures, even butterflies. Maybe she should have explained why they frightened her. She had enough stories to justify her fears.

She rolled onto her side and laid an arm across the bed, briefly picturing Jayce beside her. It was a vision that would never go full circle, and a tinge of guilt wrapped around her for having such thoughts. It might have been his handsome features she was attracted to first, but his vulnerability was refreshing as well. It couldn’t have been easy for him to tell her about his claustrophobia. She said another prayer that he’d do okay today, because he’d surely be embarrassed if he panicked. She added another prayer for no bats too.

After finally drifting back to sleep, she ended up oversleeping and rushing to get dressed and downstairs. Her mother was cleaning the breakfast dishes when she walked into the kitchen. Her brothers had likely retreated upstairs, and Evelyn knew her father had climbed back in bed to read the newspaper, which he did every other Sunday when they didn’t have worship service. Her family truly observed the day of rest. Although today wouldn’t be peaceful for her or Jayce.

“Sorry, Mamm. I woke up in the middle of the night, and it took me a while to get back to sleep.”

“It’s Sunday. I suppose you’re excused.” Her mother stood by the sink and dunked a stack of dishes in the soapy water. “But I see you’re dressed, complete with kapp and shoes and socks. Are you going out?” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “It’s still early.”

“Um, ya, I’m going out.” She bit her bottom lip and waited for the questions to come.

“Hmm . . .” Her mother didn’t turn around. “Are you off to see that boy?”

Mamm, he’s not a boy. I told you that. And we’re just friends.”

Ya, you told me. He’s a man, and you’re just friends. So where are you off to?” She turned off the water, eased around, and leaned against the counter.

“Bluespring Caverns.”

Her mother raised her eyebrows. “The few times we went as a family were in the middle of the summer when there weren’t any bats in the cave. I’m not sure about spring. Are you nervous about the possibility of seeing them?”

“A little.” Evelyn didn’t want to tell her mother about Jayce’s fear. She would think Evelyn was putting herself at risk to ease his burden, not her own. And that might imply she cared more for Jayce than she was admitting to her mother. “But he’s never been inside the cave, and he doesn’t have to work today.”

“I’ll say it again.” She pointed a finger at Evelyn. “Be careful.”

“I know what I’m doing.” Later she would ask God to forgive the tiny fib. She didn’t know what she was doing at all. “And, Mamm . . . he’s picking me up in a fancy car, but only because it’s the only type of car they have with them.”

“You’d best enjoy it then.” Her mother chuckled. “And hope your father doesn’t see.”

She gave her mother a quick hug, then left when she heard Jayce pull in. She’d told him not to come to the door, that she’d meet him outside, hoping her father would be in his bedroom reading.

Jayce opened her car door. After she sat down, she looked through an open window behind her.” She’d never seen such luxury, and she was still gawking when Jayce got in the car. “Nice, huh?”

Ya, it is.” Something smelled good. She wasn’t sure if it was Jayce or the car. It was a minty aroma.

Jayce was quiet, and Evelyn wondered if he wanted to bypass this challenge for both of them.

“You can change your mind, you know.” A big part of her hoped he would.

He quickly shook his head. “Nope. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it, but I really think if I can push through this, maybe it will help when I find myself in, uh, well . . . an elevator.” He chuckled. “I’m in pretty good shape, but climbing stairs going any higher than the tenth floor begins to wear on a guy.” He waited until she looked at him. “I was just lucky my dad’s place is only on the third floor. Are you having any second thoughts?”

She shook her head, and they were quiet again. Finally, she asked, “Why do you think you’re afraid of being in small spaces? Did something happen to make you that way?”

He tugged at his ear. “Hmm . . . no. Not that I can think of. I’ve just always been uncomfortable. I guess that’s kind of an understatement. What about you?”

She figured she would try to justify her fear, especially since it included butterflies.

“Do you really want to hear this? I have had a lot of things happen with flying creatures, mostly birds.” She flinched, then took a deep breath.

“Only if you want to tell me.” He cocked his head to one side, peering curiously at her before focusing on the road again.

“When I was young, mei mamm let me stay over at a friend’s haus. There were four of us girls spending the night.” She sighed. “The girl who lived there had a bruder who had two parakeets. It was late at night, and we only had one lantern lit super low. Buddy, her bruder, threw the birds in her room and closed the door. They were flying around hitting the walls, running into us, and I’m surprised the lantern didn’t get knocked over and burn the haus down.” She shuddered. “It was bad for us, but also for the birds.” She glanced at him to see if he was smiling, but he was just listening intently. “It was all that flapping and the way they were bumping into us and the walls.”

“I guess that could make a person uncomfortable around birds.” Jayce said it more as a question than a confirmation.

“It’s not just that. Other things have happened.” She looked his way again, and he raised an eyebrow. “Mamm took me, Lucas, and David to McDonald’s one time when we were pretty young. I was probably six or seven. We had hired a driver to go to Bloomington. I think Mamm had a doctor’s appointment. It was a treat because we rarely went out to eat. We sat outside because it was a pretty day.” She shuddered again as she recalled what happened. “A bird actually flew down and snatched one of my French fries. Not Mamm’s or mei bruders, but mine.”

He laughed. “Sorry, I know it’s not funny.”

Evelyn fought not to grin. “Another time at the zoo, a big huge bird was flying loose in the building where the birds were housed. It kept swooping down at me. And once I was minding mei own business walking down the street. There was a line of trees, some with branches hanging over the road. A bird flew down and pecked me on the head.”

Jayce chuckled again. “Sorry.”

“I know it sounds funny. Mamm said I probably walked underneath a branch with a nest and babies, and that it probably upset the mama bird.” Hearing how it sounded, she laughed. “Silly things, I suppose. But bees, wasps, and hornets also seem to find me.” She thought about the bats she might see in the cave today, and her stomach roiled. She didn’t feel like laughing anymore.

Jayce turned down the radio in the fancy car. It had been on low while they talked. Not smiling, he asked, “Why butterflies? They’re so delicate and pretty.”

“They flutter.” She crinkled her nose. “I guess I just don’t do well with anything that has wings.”

“You’d better hope we don’t see any bats.” Jayce made the statement in a tone far too serious, which caused Evelyn’s stomach to flip again. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Ya.” She wouldn’t admit it, but she mostly wanted to do it for him. Even if there were bats in the cave, they’d be far away from her. For Jayce to make the journey, it could be life changing. “Don’t bats just hang upside-down from the ceiling?”

“Yeah, I think so.” Jayce slowed the car when the cavern entrance came into view. Evelyn had already spoken to her friend Adam, who worked there. Most people didn’t take the early tours, but he’d assured her that even if other people were there, he would make sure it was just Evelyn and Jayce in the boat. She appreciated that Adam didn’t make fun of either of them when she told him they both wanted to face a phobia. She’d known Adam all her life. He was two years younger than her, and one of two Amish people who worked at the caverns.

Evelyn took a deep breath.

*  *  *

Jayce put the car in park as he stared at the walkway leading to the entrance. He’d woken up this morning knowing this was a bad idea. He was pretty sure the bats would stay in place, hanging from the top of the cave. But he ran the risk of making a total fool of himself. He could already feel the sweat beading on his forehead. His stomach growled from being hungry, but he hadn’t been about to eat breakfast this morning. The potential for it to come up was too great.

He liked Evelyn, probably way more than he should. But the reality was, he’d be leaving and didn’t ever have to see her again. No matter how humiliated he might be in front of her, he wouldn’t have to face her again. And even though he wanted to do this for himself, if he was able to get in the boat tomorrow with the rest of the crew, it would prove to his father that he’d conquered this fear, at least this once. And hopefully, he would be helping Evelyn too.

They walked into the small gift shop and up to the counter. Jayce paid for two tickets, and Evelyn introduced him to Adam, their guide for the hour-long tour.

“I’ve seen you around,” Adam said as they made the trek down the four hundred feet to get to the water’s edge. Then they took a right, and he saw the four boats docked. “You’ve been with that film crew. Evelyn said the man making the film is your daed.” He flinched. “Mei friend was the one driving the boat the day the big man jumped in the water to save that lady.”

“Gus.” He forced a smile and nodded as he wondered who he would be most embarrassed in front of—Evelyn? Or another man? “Did Evelyn tell you why we’re doing this?” He stopped, a little breathless from the long walk, although the return trip going uphill was much worse.

Ya, she did.” Adam was a tall, lanky guy with a friendly smile. He had on the normal Amish garb. “No worries, mei friend. This is usually an hour tour—about a half hour down the river and a half hour back. But since no one else is in the boat, we can turn back in five minutes if you want.”

Jayce tossed his head back, then ran a hand through his hair. “Man, this makes me sound like such a wimp.” He shook his head, still eyeing the boat without making an effort to follow the guide onto the metal structure. Evelyn seemed to be waiting for him to take the lead.

Adam smiled in a friendly, sympathetic sort of way. “I’ve had to turn back with a dozen people onboard. You’d be surprised how many people have a problem with being so far underground and on a river. Most of them were surprised they reacted the way they did.” He laughed. “And you wouldn’t believe how many cameras and cell phones are resting on the bottom of the river.”

Jayce had intentionally not looked up details about the cavern, particularly how deep the water was. As he finally stepped into the boat on shaky legs, he could see the bottom. The water here couldn’t have been more than three or four feet deep. It was bound to be much deeper the farther in they went. And he could see ahead that it was only a few yards before the boat would turn and daylight would be out of sight. He’d watched his father and the crew make the turn, and he’d been able to hear them talking for about a minute more before it was quiet.

He turned to Evelyn when he realized she hadn’t gotten on the boat and was still standing on the dock. Somewhere along the line, the color had drained from her face, and her green doe eyes looked bigger than normal.

“You okay?” Adam asked. Jayce wished he would have asked first.

Ya,” she replied. Adam offered her his hand and helped her into the boat. She sat down when Jayce did.

“Ready?” Adam had his hand on the rope to untie the boat from the dock.

Jayce had never been more unprepared for anything in his life. Then he felt Evelyn slip her hand into his, intertwining their fingers. Maybe they would be okay after all.