First You Must

Before the abstract cone enfiladed

in blue enthusiasms, you must learn

to draw a tree that looks like a tree.

But first you must study bark

at the Institute of Bark in Amsterdam.

You must learn the woody organelles in Dutch

although first you must be immunized.

Luckily this is not the 14th century

and you are trying to become a doctor of the throat

as you would have only the bodies of hanged thieves

to cut apart and hanging makes a mess

of the mechanisms of the throat. Hope

may be depicted as a cinder block wrapped

in aluminum foil which is pretty

rotten luggage. First you’ll

fall in love with what you can’t

understand. The baby ram butts the shiny tractor.

Nothing you draw looks like anything else.

First you must build a cathedral of toothpicks.

Write nothing but sonnets for a year.

The error is not to fall but to fall

from an ungreat height. First you must fall

for the girl like you on the boat

seeming to leave all she knows but also

unlike you in some important, not only

glandular, ways. The days grow short, icier,

the heart like a ram in a field surrounded by electric

wire. The single tree there in the wind

not looking much like a tree, full

of withered fruit vexed with caterpillars.

It resembles a tragic wig.

No verse is actually free.

Before oils, charcoal. First you must go

to Vermeer’s birthplace. Bed linens crusty,

widows a-wink with all you do not know

like a horrible disease lurking in the genes.

I must know, you shout, shaking the girl hard.

This is a mistake. What she first thought

was your handsome intensity, she now thinks

is insanity. First you must be forgiven.

Before being a human being, you must be

a zygote. Ditto a horse, a ram, an alligator.

The tractor comes into the world from a pit of fire

like the trombone. Better than you have failed.

The girl hurries off in a form of native dress

you know not the word for. The test returns

with a big red X. Before watching the sun set

into the ocean of tears, you must study

optics. Sir Isaac Newton knew a lot about optics

before he knew a lot about gravity and orbits.

What will make the girl return? And you call

yourself an artist. First you must suffer,

first the form in duplicate. Before the form,

the pre-form. Before crying forlorn, forlorn,

rigor mortis. Before tackling the nude,

you must work for months with wooden blocks.