Gaga Gala

At the Institute of Haiku-Induced

Orgasm, the reading was nearly over

before it began. In Iowa City, when

my friend read his poem about styling

his dead mother’s wig, it was like

he was the only member of our tribe

with a heart that still worked. I wonder,

Does anyone hear the Hare Krishnas

outside passing near? At the Center

for Useless Experimentation, my poem

about sick swans went over big although

no one caught that it was really about

Keats’s tuberculosis.

After five minutes in the Writers’ Gaggle

to benefit a citywide neutering

by the ASPCA, the woman who read

about her genitals handcuffed

to the Washington Monument

asked if I could believe there was nothing

to drink. Nope, but everyone knows

at least one story of Dylan Thomas

hitting the orchestra pit and Dionysus

throwing up all over his blue tunic.

The lamb on his shoulder doesn’t

have a head. Dirty dirty dirty, intones

Cotton Mather into the microphone.

Sylvia Plath: head of a Roman emperor,

lips of Tinker Bell. The lamb on her shoulder

doesn’t have a head. Antonin Artaud,

not someone you’d expect in charge

but here he is, in charge:

zzzzpktzzzzzzzzzzzpktzzzpktpkttt

as if the forces of the cosmos are still

threshing out the human soul.

Chainsaw rackmold tungsten noose. Okay,

I’m convinced but something still seems missing.

The white answer never fits the white

question. In New York, at the Council

for Public Poetry Safety, the great-eared,

glassy-winged elder says he remembers me

from Arizona although I’ve never been to Arizona.

Ah, Arizona, I try to convey into his bushy eyeholes,

buggy narcotic vulvaular windswept idyllic screwed-up Arizona,

since then I’ve not been the same.

The winter morning is a stone

written upon by evaporation.

The summer evening a sheet

on which a thousand poets try to sleep.

One reads for an hour about

the brain surgery of her horse,

another weeps, cluing in the audience,

and a coat falls away from the other coats

as if with great effort. In the case of helium,

first they knew it was there then

they found it. With the electron,

first they found it then

it proved not to be there.