CHAPTER 36
For the Sunday before Ascension Thursday.

Of the merit of condescension and compassion for the infirm. And how we should desire contempt.

ON THE Sunday before Ascension day, the Saint rose very joyfully to recite Matins, hoping that Our Lord would come to lodge in her heart for the four days preceding the Ascension, as she ardently besought Him to do; but after she had recited the Office as far as the fifth Lesson, she saw a religious who was ill, and who had no one to say Matins with her. The Saint, moved by the charity which always animated her, said to Our Lord: “Thou knowest, O Lord, that I have almost exhausted the little strength I have in reciting my Office so far; nevertheless, as I ardently desire Thee to abide with me during these holy days, and as I have not a fitting abode prepared for Thee, I am willing, for Thy love, and in satisfaction for my faults, to commence Matins again.” As she began the Office once more, Our Lord verified the words He had said—“I was sick, and you visited Me”; and, “As you did it to one of these My least brethren, you did it to Me” 98—by appearing to her, and overwhelming her with caresses, which could neither be explained nor understood.

It appeared to the Saint that Our Lord was seated at a table in the most sublime glory, and that He was distributing ineffable gifts, graces and joys to the souls in Heaven, on earth and in Purgatory—not only for each word, but even for each letter which she had repeated; and she also received an intelligence of the Psalms, Responses and Lesson, which filled her with inexpressible delight.

When the words, Ad te, Domine, clamabo [“To Thee, O Lord, I have cried out”], and Salvum fac populum tuum, Domine, et benedic haereditati tuae [“Save thy people, O Lord, and bless Thine inheritance”], were chanted, she besought Our Lord to pour forth an abundant grace and benediction on the whole Church. “What do you desire that I should do, My beloved?” He replied; “for I give Myself up to you with the same love and resignation as I abandoned Myself to My Father on the Cross; for even as I would not descend from the Cross until He willed it, so now I desire to do nothing but what you will. Distribute, then, in virtue of My Divinity, all that you desire, and as abundantly as you desire.”

After Matins, the Saint retired again to rest, and Our Lord said to her: “She who wearies herself in exercises of charity has a right to repose peacefully on the couch of charity”; and as He said this, He soothed her soul so tenderly, that it appeared to her as if she did indeed repose on the bosom of this heavenly Bridegroom. Then she beheld a tree of charity, very high and very fair, covered with fruit and flowers, and with leaves shining like stars, which sprang forth from the Heart of Jesus, extending and lowering its branches so as to surround and cover the nuptial couch on which the soul of Gertrude reposed. And she saw a spring of pure water gush forth from its roots, which shot upwards, and then returned again to its source; and this refreshed her soul marvelously. By this she understood the Divinity of Jesus Christ sweetly reposing in His Humanity, which imparts ineffable joys to the elect.

During Mass, at which she was to communicate, St. Gertrude exposed the defects of her soul to God, as a friend might do to one from whom he expected every good; and she besought Him earnestly to obtain pardon of all her sins and negligences, on the Feast of His Ascension, from His Father. Then the Lord replied, with the greatest condescension: “You are that amiable Esther who pleases My eyes by your incredible beauty; ask, then, what you will, and I will give it to you.”

As she began to pray for all who were confided to her care, and for all her benefactors, Our Lord approached her, and embraced her lovingly. And by this embrace she understood that her heart had contracted some stain from having received a benefit in too human a manner on the preceding day. “Ah, Lord!” she exclaimed, “why dost Thou suffer me to be revered as a Saint, when Thou wert esteemed during Thy life as the very least of men, and since it is for Thy glory that Thy elect should be despised in this world?” He replied: “I have said by My Prophet, ‘Shout with joy to God, all the earth … and give glory to His praise” (Ps. 65:1); therefore, I permit some persons to think well of you and to love you, for their sanctification and for My glory.” “But what will become of me,” she replied, “if Thou dost sanctify them by my faults?” Our Lord answered: “I please myself by embellishing the gold of My grace which I have put in you, by making it appear sometimes black and sometimes shining.” By the word “black,” 99 she understood that when one remembers having received a benefit in too human a manner, and repents humbly for their fault, they pleased God so much that the dark color enhances the beauty of the shining gold. By the bright gold, she understood that when we receive benefits from God and men with thanksgiving, we render our souls still more capable of receiving and preserving the gifts of God.