CHAPTER 8

Of Sister G.’s happy preparation for death. Her fervent desires and her glory.

ANOTHER religious died with us who, from her childhood, had shown the most entire aversion to the world and all its attractions. When her agony came, she bade farewell to all who were around her with great affection, and promised to pray for them when she had attained eternal blessedness, and the inexhaustible Source of all good. In the agonies of her last moments, she said to God: “Lord, Thou knowest the secrets of my heart, and how I have desired to persevere in Thy service, even to old age, and to devote all my strength to Thee; but now, since it is Thy Will, I come to Thee: and all my desires are changed into a fervent longing to possess Thee, so that death has even become sweet to me; yet, if it were pleasing to Thee that I should continue in my present state until the day of judgment, I would willingly do so, even were this the first day of the world’s creation; but as I know that Thou wilt give me rest today, I beseech Thee, of Thy mercy, and for the glory of Thy name, that I may continue to suffer until I have paid the debts of those souls whom Thou desirest most to release. And in this, O Lord, Thou knowest that I am not considering my merits, but purely Thy glory.”

After this prayer and many others, the Infirmarian22 asked the religious to allow her to arrange her feet before she died. She replied: “I will offer this sacrifice myself to my crucified Lord”; and as she spoke, she extended her feet toward a crucifix,23 saying: “I offer Thee all the movements of my feet, in union with the ardent love with which Thou didst commend Thy spirit into the hands of Thy Father with a great cry.” Then she offered likewise the movements of her eyes, her lips, her hands and her heart, with great fervor and devotion. After this she asked to have the Passion read for her, showing them herself where she wished them to commence: Sublevitus Jesus—“Jesus lifted up His eyes to heaven” (John 17:1); saying, if they commenced at the words, “Before the festival-day” (John 13:1), they would not have time to finish before her death. At the words, “And bowing His head, He gave up the ghost” (John 19:30), she asked for the crucifix; then, kissing the Five Wounds with the tenderest devotion, she gave thanks to God with words of the most heavenly wisdom and devotion, most touching to all who were present; and then she lay back on her pallet, and slept sweetly in the Lord.

After her death, St. Gertrude saw her received by Our Lord with the tenderest caresses, and specially rewarded for having renounced the world so generously for His love. She also heard the angelic choirs chanting the Quae est ista,24 as they conducted her in triumphal procession to Heaven. When she was brought before the throne of God, Jesus, the Spouse of virgins, turned toward her with great love, and said, “You are My glory.” Then He crowned her as a queen, and enthroned her near Himself.

As Gertrude prayed for her at her interment on the following day, she beheld her in a state of joy and glory which exceeds all human comprehension. Then she inquired what reward she had received for certain virtues; and the soul obtained for her the grace of receiving some little share of her recompense, and then inquired: “What more do you desire to know of what I have received? The heavenly ark, which contains the plenitude of Divine sweetness, even the Heart of Jesus Christ, my Beloved, with all its treasures, is opened to me; with one exception, which I am deprived of because, when in life, I reserved to myself the secrets of my Spouse, and did not communicate them to others; and this treasure is open only to those who, giving freely, communicated to others all the gifts of God.” “But,” inquired Gertrude, “what reply shall I give to your friends and mine, when they ask me of your present state and reward, since no human words can express them?” The soul replied: “After you have smelt the perfume of many flowers, how can you make another person understand what you have experienced?—would you not content yourself with saying that the odor was very delicious? Thus, after you have known in spirit how great is the felicity with which God has rewarded me, you can only say that I have been rewarded beyond all my deserts for every good thought, word or act by my faithful and beloved Jesus.”