CHAPTER 20

Of the ardent desire of death which Our Lord enkindled in the soul of Gertrude.

ON THE Feast of Blessed Martin,40 at the Response Beatus Martinus, the Saint cried out to the Lord with burning desire: “O Lord, when wilt Thou show me a like favor?” He replied: “I will soon take you to Myself.” These words excited an exceeding desire in her soul to be dissolved and to be with Christ, although she had never felt the same desire before. On the fourth feria (Wednesday) after Easter Sunday, when she had received Communion, she heard Our Lord saying to her: “Come, my chosen one, that I may enthrone Myself in thee.” And she knew that the hour was approaching of which Our Lord had already spoken to her on St. Martin’s Day, saying, “I will soon take you to Myself.” Our Lord then added: “Do not live for yourself during the short time which remains for you, but employ yourself entirely in promoting My glory, according to your own desires.” The time of her death was deferred, that she might have a longer preparation for it, according to this instruction. For as Scripture tells us that delay increases our desires, so also does it increase our merit.

Once, when Gertrude was occupied with these thoughts, on a Sunday, Our Lord said to her: “If I granted you at the moment of your death the accomplishment of all the holy desires which you have entertained, it would be little in comparison with the grace I am about to confer on you. Choose,” He continued, “whether you will die now, or suffer a long sickness first, that you may know something of the infirmities of a protracted illness.” The Saint replied: “Lord, do Thou Thy holy will.” He answered: “You do right to submit to My decision; and if you consent, for My love, to remain longer in the body, I will establish My abode in your heart, as a dove in its nest; and at the same time I will hide you in My Heart, from whence I will lead you forth to eternal joys.”

From this moment her desire of departing this life was moderated, and she heard these words continually whispered in her soul: “My dove, in the clefts of the rock.” (Cant. 2:14). But her desire returned after a time, and Our Lord said to her: “What bride would complain of the time spent in adorning herself for her bridegroom, or regret occasions of increasing his love? For after death the soul cannot merit, neither can it suffer anything for God.”