CHAPTER 28

Of spiritual thirst for God, and of the utility of sufferings.

WHILE the Psalm Sicut cervi36 was chanted in the Office for the Dead, Gertrude, hearing these words, “My soul thirsteth,” endeavored to reanimate her fervor, and said to Our Lord: “Alas, Lord, how feeble are the desires I have for Thee, Who art my true and only Good, and how seldom I can say to Thee, ‘My soul thirsteth for Thee’!” “You tell Me,” replied Our Lord, “not seldom, but without ceasing, that your soul thirsteth after Me; for the exceeding love which makes Me seek the salvation of men obliges Me also to believe that in all the good which My elect desire, they desire Me, because all good proceeds from Me. For example: if anyone desires health, rest, wisdom, conveniences, or any other advantages, My goodness often makes Me believe it is Me whom they seek in these things, that I may give them a greater reward; unless they deliberately turn their intention from Me, as by desiring wisdom that they may satisfy their pride, or health that they may commit some sin. And it is for this reason that I am accustomed to afflict those who are dearest to Me with corporal infirmities, with mental depression, and other trials, so that when they desire the goods which are opposed to these evils, the ardent love of My Heart may reward them with greater profusion.”

Gertrude also learned that “He whose delight is to be with the children of men” (Prov. 8:31), when He finds nothing in them worthy of His presence, sends them sufferings either of body or mind, that He may be able to abide with them, as Holy Scripture says: “The Lord is nigh unto those that are of a contrite heart” (Ps. 33:19); and, “I am with him in tribulation.” (Ps. 90:15). Let such considerations excite our gratitude, and teach us to exclaim, with the Apostle, and with the whole affection of our souls: “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and of the knowledge of God! How incomprehensible are His judgments, and how unsearchable His ways!” (Rom. 11:33)—which He has discovered to save men.

One night, while the Saint was sleeping, Our Lord visited her with so much sweetness, and she felt so consoled with His Divine presence, that it seemed to her as if she had been refreshed by some delicious feast. When she awoke, she returned thanks to God, exclaiming: “How have I merited this, my Lord and my God, more than others, who are so often tormented by horrible dreams, that their very cries terrify those who hear them?” Our Lord replied: “When those persons whom I have determined to sanctify by suffering seek bodily comforts while they are awake, and thus deprive themselves of occasions of merit, I, in My love, send them sufferings during their sleep, that they may have an opportunity of acquiring merit.” “But, Lord,” replied the Saint, “how can they merit by this when they suffer without any intention, and against their will?” “It is an effect of My mercy,” replied Our Lord; “for the same thing happens to these persons as to those who adorn themselves with waxen ornaments, and who appear well attired, although those who wear gold and precious stones are esteemed more wealthy.”