For two days, I don’t hear from Austin. It’s enough time to make me question everything and eat most of Mimi’s doughnuts. Was I too direct? Did I push him away? Was kissing him a mistake?
My fingertips travel over my lips. No way. How could anything that felt that good, that…explosive, be a mistake?
“He’ll call,” Mimi says with certainty I don’t feel. She places another doughnut on my plate.
“I already had one.”
“Have another.”
“Mim.” I tilt my head. “How did you know that Pop was the one?”
“Oh.” She leans back in her chair. Her eyes take on a faraway look that’s both distant and not as a sparkle glimmers from their depths. “He stood me up.”
“What?” I ask, leaning forward in my chair. For all the stories I’ve heard about Mimi and Pop over the years, this is new. Pop passed when I was in third grade so my memories of him are few and faded. But I do remember how he doted on Mimi.
“Can you believe that?” She turns toward me, smiling. “My big brother Andrew wanted to beat him to a pulp.”
“What happened?”
“Well…” She picks up her mug, drawing her story out for dramatic effect. It works because I forget about the doughnut on my plate. She takes a sip of her coffee and sets the mug back down. “Turns out, he’d been in an accident.”
I gasp.
Mimi nods, her face serious. “Yep. His father had a farm, you know?”
I nod.
“And that night, one of their goats, Lucky Lucy, gave birth. It all happened suddenly and your pop was needed to lend a hand. He’d been raised on a farm for crying out loud but when Lucy began to rock around, Pop slipped on a patch of mud or wet grass or something and he went down.” Mimi pauses to chuckle, wiping a napkin across her eyes.
I smile at her, wondering if her tears are from laughter, nostalgia, or a mixture of both.
“Oh, he went down and knocked his head on the corner of a shelf in the barn. Passed out cold.”
“No.”
Mimi snorts. “Oh yes, had an egg the size of the moon on his noggin.”
I laugh and Mimi’s eyes crinkle as she smiles. “What happened?”
“Well, you can imagine his family ribbed him good for that one. Called him all sorts of names for passing out at the sight of new life being brought into the world. You can’t begin to guess at the jokes that circulated when I was pregnant with your mother.”
“Oh, I can,” I say, recalling some of my family’s more creative jokes that I’ve heard over the years.
Mimi waves a hand. “Anyway, later that night, Pop showed up on my father’s front porch with a sad-looking bunch of flowers and a bruise on his forehead. After we heard his sob story, we all had a good laugh and my brother decided he shouldn’t kick a dog when it’s down.”
I sputter on my coffee.
“Besides, I told Andrew that night, ‘I’m going to marry that man one day.’ And I did.”
“But how’d you know?” I press for an answer. As much as I enjoy Mimi’s stories, they often lack the wisdom I’m searching for.
“It was the look in his eyes when he knocked on the door. Oh, he was embarrassed for sure. He felt guilty. Silly. All sorts of emotions. But when he saw me, that look, all those insecurities, they just disappeared. He looked at me, in my house coat with rollers in my hair—can you imagine?—like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Even more beautiful than witnessing life come into the world.” Mimi’s tone turns wistful. “And I just… I knew.”
“When you know, you know,” I mumble.
“That’s what they say,” she agrees.
I sigh and take a big bite of my doughnut.
“Didn’t help you, did I?” she asks.
I shake my head and Mimi laughs.
My phone rings and Mimi’s eyes light up. “It’s him,” she says.
I swipe up my phone, my heart hammering in my chest. Austin’s name flashes on the screen. Whatever Mimi reads in my expression confirms her lucky guess because she clucks her tongue. “Told ya so.”
“Yeah, yeah,” I mutter, feigning casual when I really feel like dancing around Mimi’s kitchen. Turning away from her sharp eyes for a modicum of privacy—yeah, right—I answer the call.
“Hey,” I say slowly.
“Chlo.” Austin’s voice is gruff, laced with a hint of surprise. Did he think I wouldn’t answer?
“It’s me.”
He breathes out a shaky exhale and I can picture him running his hand over the top of his head the way he does when he’s nervous, feeling out of his element. “I meant it.”
I remain silent but my fingers grip my phone until my knuckles ache.
“I wanted to kiss you,” Austin continues. “I’ve wanted to kiss you from the moment I opened my parents’ front door and saw you standing on the porch. But I don’t know how to do this. With you.”
Now I breathe out a shaky breath. Questions ping around my mind but I hold them all back, knowing that Austin needs time to sort out what he’s trying to say. If I interrupt him now, I may miss out on hearing what he’s trying to tell me.
“I like you, Chloe. I’ve always liked you but I really like being with you. You’re not just some random girl I can hook up with and forget about.”
My heart gallops in my chest, so loud and frantic, I bet even Mimi can hear it without her hearing aid.
“But I also can’t be all in the way you want, the way you need. The season’s starting up and my first priority is the team, the game.” His voice cracks and he swears. “I’m not letting a kiss, even if it was hot and made me think of a million things I shouldn’t think about doing with you, ruin our friendship. You’re stuck with me, Sunshine. But I don’t know where we go from here.”
Little bubbles of nerves pop in my stomach. Because Austin definitely just tossed the ball back into my court. I bite my bottom lip and lean back in the chair.
Mimi waves her arm beside me, grabbing my attention. I glance at her, raising my eyebrows. She points to the doughnut.
What am I supposed to do with that?
What? I mouth.
She moves the doughnut to the side of the plate and taps her fingernail against the center of the plate. An image of a wedding dress and tuxedo are stamped into the ceramic and I roll my eyes.
“Chloe? Help me out here…”
“Come with me to Sara’s wedding,” I blurt out.
“Of course I’m coming,” Austin responds automatically. “I’d never back out on our arrangement.”
I blow out a deep breath, steel my shoulders, and say what I really want. “Come with me as my date, a real date. Not because of our summer agreement. But because you—”
“I want to. I’d love to.”
I close my eyes, my hand nearly numb from clutching the phone so tightly against my ear.
Austin chuckles.
“What’s so funny?” I ask.
“I think you just asked me out, Sunshine.”
I grin. “I think so too.”
“Not gonna lie, I feel a little bit like a pussy right now.”
I burst out laughing. “You should.”
Austin laughs with me. “You were right. I need to man up.”
“Then do it,” I challenge him, liking this playful side of him.
“I’m taking you to your cousin’s wedding next weekend, Chloe.”
“Okay.”
“And we’re going to dance every—”
“Ed Sheeran song,” I interrupt.
“And eat all the—”
“Lobster,” I finish his sentence again.
“Fancy cocktails.”
“There’s a weekend itinerary.”
“Sign us up. One hotel room.”
I gasp, opening my mouth to remind him that my entire family will be present at this wedding and our mothers will be gossiping up a storm if we share a hotel room.
“One,” he repeats, knowing where my thoughts have turned. “I’m going to dazzle your family.”
“They already adore you.”
“And at the end of the night, when I kiss you, you’ll know just how much I mean it.”
I squirm under Mimi’s watchful gaze as Austin’s words register in my mind.
“Date me, Chlo.”
My mouth drops open.
“I found my balls,” he laughs and I snort. “So date me for real. And let’s see where this goes.”
“See where it goes,” I repeat, a little dazed at the sharp turn this conversation has taken.
“I can’t give you more than that. I won’t lie and say that hockey isn’t my priority. This season, coming off a Cup win, being captain…the Hawks are my life. I want you to be part of it but I can’t give all of it up either.”
“I’m not asking you to.” I frown. Doesn’t he realize it’s not all or nothing? It’s blending the two aspects of his life into one. It’s not making one thing his everything but making several things his all.
“I can’t stop thinking about you.”
I bite my bottom lip. I know Austin is being honest with me, completely straight up. Can I even ask for more than that right now? Indecision wreaks havoc on my nervous system. My body feels jittery, my heart thumping at an erratic pace. Every part of me wants to say yes, to give in. But am I giving in? Giving up? Settling for less, the same way I did with Steve?
Austin isn’t Steve. Anyone with a pulse knows that.
“One date, Chlo. And if you’re not feeling it, we’ll be friends no matter what.”
“Yes,” I say, meaning it with every fiber in my being.
“I’ll pick you up for the wedding on Friday. But on Saturday, it’s just me and you.”
“Okay,” I agree, a thrill shimmying down my spine.
Across from me, Mimi reenacts the wave.
When I hang up with Austin, I grin at Mimi. “I have a date.”
“You have much more than a date, Chloe Ann.”
“You’re dating your childhood bestie,” Abbi declares through the line later that evening.
“We’re not dating. We’re going on a date,” I clarify.
“With a professional hockey player.”
“Yes.”
“Who also happens to be one of the most celebrated athletes in the entire state of Massachusetts at the moment.”
I huff out a breath. “Yes.”
“And you want me to be chill about this?” Abbi exclaims.
I snort and kick my feet back up on my bedroom wall. I’m splayed across my bed, not hating the view of the ceiling as much as I did a few weeks ago. Who knew so much could change in such a short amount of time? Just last month, I was sobbing my eyes out into a watered-down margarita. And now, I’m going on a date with Austin.
“I can’t believe you’re already bringing him to a family event. A wedding is a serious thing,” Abbi continues.
“My family already loves him.”
“That will make it trickier if things don’t work out.”
I drop my feet and sit straight up. “Why do you say that?”
“Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean, I don’t know, I—”
“Abbi Walsh.”
She sighs. “I just—promise you’ll be careful, Chloe?”
“You’re the one who kept saying the best way to get over Steve was to get under someone else,” I accuse.
“You’re going to have sex with him?” Her voice squeaks.
I swear and flop back down against my mattress. “I don’t know yet.”
Abbi’s silent for a long moment and I wait it out.
“I don’t want you to get hurt, Chlo. That’s all. Steve broke you. Austin’s been totally upfront with you from the start. But when you go in, you go all in, with all of your feelings. I just—I don’t want to see them get hurt again because you want more than what Austin can give right now.”
I don’t respond because that’s…annoyingly accurate.
“And yes, you should have fun, wild, hot sex,” she continues.
“Damn straight.”
“But I meant with a stranger. Not your childhood best friend who you have history with, whose sisters you adore, who you’re bringing to a family function as your date.”
I work a swallow, noting the truth in her words even if I don’t want to admit it. “You have a point,” I begrudgingly admit.
“Just…be careful. That’s all. Enjoy the moment and take things at face value without reading into them. Other than that, I’m really freaking happy for you!” She squees again and I grin at the excitement in her tone now that she got her warning over with. “Does he have any friends?”
I laugh now and tap my heels against the wall. “Claire, his sister, is dating his best friend, Easton, and Indy, Austin’s cousin, is dating Easton’s brother, Noah. They all play for the Hawks.”
“Jesus Christ,” Abbi guffaws. “That’s some incestuous shit right there.”
“Tell me about it,” I laugh. “But…there is one guy, Panda.”
“Panda?”
“The goalie.”
“Hang on, I’m Googling.”
I roll my eyes.
“Holy shit! He looks like Zeus had sex with a Victoria’s Secret angel.”
Huh? I frown, trying to follow her train of thought. “He’s good looking,” I agree.
She snorts, the sound derisive. “He is more than good looking, Chloe. He’s…an Adonis.”
Now I laugh. “You may change your tune when you meet him.”
“Am I meeting him?”
“Are you still coming to visit?”
“Be there tomorrow.”
I chuckle. “Simmer down. He’s not going anywhere. When you come, I’ll introduce you.”
“I’m holding you to it. The weekend of Marissa’s bachelorette. Why do you think I’d not be into him after meeting him?”
“He reminds me of Drew.”
At that, Abbi laughs. “I like Drew.”
I groan and her laughter grows louder. But after a moment, I join in. It feels good to laugh with my best friend again after so many nights of crying on her shoulder.
Suddenly, everything seems brighter, better. Hopeful.