With pink cheeks, parted lips, and dark eyes, Chloe Crawford unmans me. I’ve never been so desperate to be inside of a woman as I am Chloe.
“God, you’re fucking gorgeous,” I murmur, my fingers fumbling with the clasp on her shoes. After two attempts, I snort. “A little help?”
She grins and quickly removes her shoes.
“How drunk are you?” I ask her.
“Sober enough to want every single thing we’re about to do and tipsy enough to not be embarrassed admitting it to you.”
I nearly groan at the confidence in her voice. Damn, I’ve missed it. Somehow, I’ve missed her without even knowing it. “Don’t ever be embarrassed to tell me anything. Especially what you want right now.” I run my fingers over the soft skin of her arm before finding the small zipper hidden in the seam running down the side of her body. I drag it down slowly.
Chloe shimmies out of the straps of her dress, a deep purple that looks mesmerizing on her, and lets the material rush down her body and pool at her feet. She kicks the dress to the side and stands before me in a black strapless bra and black lace panties that hide nothing but conceal enough to be sexier than if she was naked.
My mouth dries and I force myself to meet her eyes.
“Like what you see?” she asks, a hint of nerves in her eyes even though her voice is composed.
“Love everything about you,” I answer truthfully, popping the bottom on my suit pants. In a handful of seconds, I’m standing before her in nothing but my boxers.
Chloe bites her bottom lip and raises an eyebrow. “Are those Spanx?”
I snort, making a strangled sound of laughter and impatience. “They have a men’s line and they’re comfortable. Are you going to give me shit about everything?”
She tips her head back and laughs, the sound rich and sincere.
“Get over here.” I hook my fingers under the side band of her panties and drag her toward me. “You’re trouble, Chloe Crawford.”
“Funny.” Her eyes flare. “That’s what they used to say about you.”
I capture her lips in one long kiss. “Now what do they say?”
“That you’re a rule follower. A rule maker.”
I nod, noting the truth in her words. “But I’m about to break them all tonight.”
Her brow furrows, confusion swirling in her eyes. Not giving her a chance to ask any questions, I walk her backwards toward the bed until she sits down on the edge of the mattress. My body presses into hers as I kiss her slowly, soulfully, until she relaxes enough to lie back. I waste no time crawling up her frame, my fingers tracing every curve, my mouth fused with hers.
I kiss Chloe like I’ll never get enough. In a handful of seconds, I realize I won’t. Her eyes flutter closed as I drag the backs of my knuckles up her cheekbone. She tastes like cinnamon and desire. She smells like violets and vanilla. And she feels like the first day of spring, full of possibility and wonder.
I deepen our kiss, enjoying her soft mewls and elevated breathing. Her hands track my back, running over my shoulder blades and up the side of my body. I kiss my way down the column of her neck, loving how she arches into me. Pulling down the cups of her bra, I drag my lips across her chest, pulling one pert nipple into my mouth and sucking its sweetness.
“Oh!” Chloe gasps, her fingers threading through my hair and hugging my face to her chest. Her legs encircle my waist, pulling me closer.
I’m so hard, so desperate for her, that I groan when my dick presses against her core. She moans from the contact, the sound encouraging me to travel south, until I pull her panties to the side and drag my tongue up her center.
“Austin,” she moans. “Austin.”
“Shh.” I nibble the inside of her thigh. “I got you, baby.” I drag two fingers through her center, spreading her arousal around her clit. At my light touch, she bucks against my hand and I recall our conversation from the beach in Martha’s Vineyard.
About how Steve didn’t pleasure her the way she deserves. About how he never made her body quake and quiver with want and need and delicious relief. How the hell didn’t he do that when she’s this responsive, this beautiful, this fucking perfect?
Fuck that. I commit to filling my Sunshine up with so much pleasure, she breaks apart on my fingers, my mouth, on me before the sun rises. I drop my head again and drag my tongue over her core, locking in on this moment. On the sounds falling from her sweet lips. On the tension in her thighs as they clasp around my head. On the arch of her back. Her shallowed breathing. Her deep moans that fill me with so much goddamn desire, I pulse for her. She shatters, calling out my name in a tone that fills me with so much pride, it nearly rivals winning the Stanley Cup.
“Oh my God,” she whispers, her eyes wide and hazy and fucking beautiful when they bore into mine. “That was, holy shit, Austin. I never, that never, I, wow.”
Puffed up like a damn peacock, I lose my boxers. I run my hand over my shaft twice before rolling on a condom. Chloe breathes in when she catches sight of me. “Let me make you come again, baby,” I tell her. When I drag my dick through her glistening folds, her eyes nearly roll back in her head and she collapses back against the mattress.
I grin cockily at her response but the moment I slide into her, my grin dies. Because holy fucking shit, she’s tight, gripping my dick in a way that has me crying out. I pull out slowly before plunging back in.
“Christ, Chloe, you’re fucking perfect,” I tell her, rocking into a rhythm that has us both breathing heavily. The sounds of our bodies joining together, slick and needy, fill the silence of the room. The scent of our arousal scents the air. My body tightens, more desperate than it’s ever been for release. I stare into Chloe’s wide, jade-colored eyes and realize that my old friend is now my everything.
“Oh God, Austin,” she says when she’s close.
And fuck, so am I. My body trembles for release, the sounds Chloe makes pushing me higher. I grit my teeth, determined to hold on for a few more seconds. I conjure up the most awful and depressing things I can think of until Chloe quakes around me. Then, I release inside of her, hard and fast and so fucking relieved. “Baby, you’re incredible.” I collapse, rolling us so she’s nestled into my side.
I hold her against my chest, our skin sticky. Chloe’s hair tickles my arm, her breath fanning over my skin.
“Austin,” she says after a minute.
I shift to peer into her eyes.
“It’s never been like that for me,” she admits. “I just—I want you to know that I’ve never felt this good before.”
I grin, her words their own kind of gift. “For me either,” I admit.
“Shut up.” She smacks my chest, not believing me.
I shake my head, holding her tighter. “I’m serious, Chloe. No one’s ever made me feel as good as you. When I’m with you, all the noise stops.”
She smiles softly, almost shyly, and I plant another kiss on her mouth.
“Is it always noisy in your mind?” she asks, her gaze searching.
I nod slowly, my fingers tracing lazy eights over her skin. “Since college,” I admit, knowing it’s time to truly confide in Chloe. If we’re going to try to make this work, if we’re going to have chemistry like this, then she should know what she’s dealing with when it comes to my anxiety. With my past.
“What happened?” she whispers.
I sigh, looking down at her and pressing a quick kiss to the tip of her nose. “It was my junior year of college. It was the first time I was really dating a girl. We weren’t a couple or anything, but everyone knew we were hooking up. Anyway, one night, there was a party. I got carried away with the drinking, big surprise there.” I glance at Chloe but she’s watching me intently, her eyes devoid of judgement. Just colored with curiosity.
“I drank way too much and when Carly invited me back to her place, I went. Even though I knew we had a tough scrimmage the next day. At that point in my life, I thought I was on top of the world. There was no way Coach would bench me because I was the leading scorer. But when I showed up to the scrimmage hungover as fuck, reeking of booze…”
“He benched you,” she supplies.
I nod, dropping my head closer to hers. She turns in my arms until she’s facing me, her fingertips pressed against my chest.
“He put a freshman in my spot. It was a big moment for the kid, Chris. A chance to step up and prove himself. He was nervous and I was pissed off but he skated onto the ice and did his best.” I blow out a sigh, hating that I have to admit this next part to Chloe. Will she see me differently? Will she resent me the way I resent myself for taking a kid’s life, the only life he knew, away from him? “He took a tough hit in the second period and went down hard. It was a concussion and a…a spinal cord injury.” I wince, closing my eyes.
Chloe’s hands press flat against my chest. When I open my eyes she’s staring at me with pure compassion. “I’m sorry, Austin. That must have been…well, I can’t imagine how hard that was for you to see. But it’s not your fault.”
“It is,” I argue. “If I wasn’t goofing off, being irresponsible, Chris never would have played in that scrimmage. He never played hockey again. He spent the next few years in PT, relearning how to walk.” I work a swallow. “That day changed everything for me. I can’t let anyone down like that again. I won’t let my team down.”
Chloe nods slowly, snuggling closer. “Your team is lucky to have you for a captain. You’re so dedicated and I can tell how much you truly care about the guys, about what’s going on in their lives. It’s not just about hockey but about them, as individuals.”
“Thank you.”
“But you’re still human, Austin. That day was a mistake, a stupid mistake. But it’s not on you.”
I shake my head. “Maybe not all of it, but I still feel responsible.”
“Is this why you’re always thinking about the future? Anticipating a fallout?”
I nod. “I don’t know how to balance it all. Hockey and life and relationships.” I try to smile but it slips. We’re having a serious conversation right now. This is the most I’ve ever opened up to anyone in my life. I don’t want to be glib about it. Not with Chloe. “I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
Chloe tilts her neck back until she can brush a kiss over my lips. “You won’t. The fact that you’re even aware of that means you’ll do everything in your power to make sure you show up for the team the way you want to. Need to.”
My hand squeezes her side as I admit, “I don’t want to disappoint you either.”
At this, she smiles. “Impossible.”
I smile back. “You’ll tell me though, right? If I’m not…enough for you.”
Chloe winds her arms around my neck and pulls her body flush against mine. “Austin Merrick, we didn’t even have our first date yet.”
I chuckle.
“Don’t worry so much about the future and just, enjoy the now. Be here with me.”
“Okay,” I whisper, kissing her back.
“And yes,” she murmurs against my lips, “I’ll tell you. But thank you for confiding in me, baby.”
Her acknowledgement of what I need eases some of my concerns. I kiss Chloe slowly, languidly. I explore her body with soft touches and she lets me, doing a bit of her own exploring.
Silence stretches between us. It’s heavy with our need but also lighter now, because of the truth I shared.
Chloe turns in my arms again, her back pressed into my chest, her hands hovering over mine as I cup her breasts. “Can we sleep in tomorrow?” she asks, like someone would ever say no to that.
“Of course.”
Her eyes flutter, a yawn escaping her lips. “Thanks for being the best wedding date in the world. And thanks for trusting me with your past.”
“Thanks for being you.” I kiss the side of her neck.
She lifts our joined hands to press a kiss to my wrist. When she releases her hold, my fingers brush over her nipple. My other hand travels down between her legs again. I play there, slow and languid strokes. Chloe sucks in a breath, her breathing ticking up as I dip my fingers inside of her, pull them out, and circle her clit. I repeat the pattern, keeping the pace slow. The sound of her arousal turns both of us on and it doesn’t take long for me to grow hard again.
“Austin,” she murmurs, her hand finding my dick, still sheathed in a condom.
“This is about you, baby,” I whisper, dragging my nose along her jawline.
She whimpers as her body locks down and then, she shatters, coming hard against my palm.
“Austin.”
“Shh, I got you, Sunshine,” I tell her, keeping her bundled against my chest.
She makes a small murmur, her eyes fluttering closed. Sated and satisfied, she drifts off to sleep. I smile, kissing the spot below her ear.
I watch her for several minutes before I get up to clean myself off. I wet a hand towel and clean her up as best as I can. Then, I crawl back into bed beside Chloe and hold her until the sun rises.
I never knew being with a woman could feel this good, this real, and I don’t want to take a second of it for granted.
“How was the rest of your evening?” Mimi sidles up beside me in the coffee line the next morning.
“You’re not getting any information out of me, Mim.” I fill a coffee for her, adding a ridiculous amount of cream and sugar because that’s how Mimi likes her coffee. When I was younger, I thought it was disgusting. To be honest, I still do, but the smile she shoots me when I pass her the nearly white coffee makes up for it.
I fill a coffee for Chloe. Her family, all the cousins and aunts and uncles, are seated in little clusters around the dining area of the hotel, ordering breakfast plates and filling up coffee mugs.
“Did you have fun last night?”
I grin at Mimi, bringing my coffee to my lips. “You know I did. Did you?”
“Oh yes. I haven’t heard that rendition of ‘Like a Virgin’ yet. You were spectacular.”
I snort out a laugh, thanking her, before gesturing that I need to bring Chloe her coffee.
Marie waves Mimi over to sit with her and I take off, searching for my girl.
My girl.
I never thought of a woman like that before but the title fits Chloe perfectly. I find her, laughing at something Sara is telling her and Drew, at a back table near a window.
“There you are.” Sara waves me over. “I just wanted to say goodbye. Mark and I are heading to the airport.”
“Where are you honeymooning?” I ask, handing Chloe her coffee.
“None for me?” Drew asks.
“Get your own damn coffee,” I tell him cheerily, slipping into the chair across from Chloe.
Drew grumbles but stands up. He kisses his cousin goodbye and makes his way over to the coffee station.
“Hawaii,” Sara responds.
“Nice,” I say. “Enjoy it. Congratulations again.”
Sara gives me a goodbye hug. “Thanks, Aus. And thanks for coming to my wedding. I hear your late-night performance was a hit.”
Chloe laughs as we wave goodbye. When Sara stops at the next table, Chloe turns her attention back to me. “Good morning.”
“Morning, Sunshine. How’d you sleep?”
She blushes. “Better than I have in months. Maybe even years.”
“Maybe we need to have more sleepovers.” I raise my eyebrows.
She smiles, big and wide, and real. “I like your thinking, Austin.”
“You always were on my side, Crawford.”
She takes a sip of her coffee, her eyes dropping closed for a second as she enjoys the taste. “You know, that’s the truth.”
“I know. But before we have a sleepover…”
Her eyes pop open.
“I need to take my girl on a real date.”
“Your girl?”
“We have a dinner date tonight.”
She beams. “Not wasting any time, are you?”
I shake my head. “Not where you’re concerned, Chloe. I already wasted years.”
She wrinkles her nose. “I know the feeling. And I’m excited for dinner.”
“Good,” I say just as our breakfast plates are served.
Drew reappears, drawing his sister into conversation. I pull out my phone to shoot Noah a quick message.
Me: Hey, can you hook me up with reservations tonight at The Ivy?
Noah: Nothing like short notice.
Me: It’s for Chloe.
Noah: Wedding went well?
Me: A hell of a lot of fun.
A few minutes pass before my phone buzzes again.
Noah: You’re set for 8 p.m. Enjoy it. You deserve it, man.
Me: Thanks.
I don’t respond to his “deserving it” comment because something about it strikes me. I never realized that I’ve spent the past few years thinking I wasn’t deserving of a good woman, one like Chloe. But I guess I never allowed myself the opportunity to really click with a woman because I knew I could never measure up. Not without losing some of my focus on hockey and I vowed to never let that happen again.
Chloe’s laughter draws my attention and I stare at her, memorizing her facial expressions and holding on to the happiness in her eyes.
I deserve her, this. And I can balance it all. I have to.