WHEN JAIME GOT back from his family weekend, I told him about the proposed dinner on Thursday.
‘I’d love to, sweetheart, but I have to spend the whole week in Malaga with Joaquin, visiting clients. I’m leaving early tomorrow, and on Friday I’m going straight to Madrid by car.’
This plan didn’t exactly thrill me, but I tried to hide my feelings.
‘So we’re not going to see each other until Sunday?’
‘It’s my work, darling. Try to understand! We’ve got contracts with clients in the south of Spain, and we have to see them this week. I’ve been putting the trip off for far too long as it is. We’ll be together afterwards.’
He took me in his arms, and we settled on another date for the dinner with Sonia.
After what he had told me about his marital infidelities, that night I decided to tell him about my sporadic relationships, and how easy I had always found it to take whatever man I fancied in bed with me. I wanted to be honest with Jaime, and not to hide anything. He had already warned me that, as he put it, I had to give up any other boyfriends I had hanging around. I didn’t find that difficult to accept, because I haven’t had any new ones for some time now, but it was hard work convincing him. Jaime is a tremendously jealous person. He promised to be faithful to me. I am twenty-nine, and although he is twenty years older than me, we have met at the same point in our lives. We are both sick and tired of the lives we were leading. I no longer even look at anyone else. I must admit, this change has surprised even me, but I suppose it’s because for the first time in my life I’m really in love, and so any sexual desire I feel for anyone apart from Jaime has vanished. I’m going to be faithful to him from start to finish, and even months afterwards, should our relationship come to an end.
At night we made love. Our lovemaking has got steadily better since we no longer use contraceptives, but Jaime has a strange way of only thinking of himself. He doesn’t wait for me to get any satisfaction. Sometimes he’s like an animal. But I don’t care. It’s not what’s most important to me in our relationship. Curiously, for me sex has faded into the background.
Jaime has left for Malaga with Joaquin as planned. I said my tender goodbyes, urging him to be careful on the roads. As I’m going to be completely on my own for a few days, I decided to use the time to find a new job.
I’ve already had several offers (my advert continues to appear in the newspaper from time to time) and there is one that looks very promising. It was from a foreign multinational clothing company based in Barcelona. They are looking for a woman to keep them informed of all the latest trends. That would mean travelling to the most important fashion fairs all over the world, sniffing out the market, and seeing what the latest fashions are each season. It’s not directly linked to advertising, but I’m really attracted to the idea of working in that area. And besides, I have no problems about travelling, especially as Jaime does so much anyway.
So I went for the interview. It was all very quick, and they told me I can start in a week. I felt very happy, because it means our income will increase significantly. I’ve no idea what Jaime earns (he’s never mentioned it), but I can see that he lives well. He always carries lots of cash on him, never checks what he’s spending or appears to worry about money in any way, not even when it comes to renting an apartment in such a high-class building. On the contrary, he always insists he wants the best. Despite all this, I want to be able to help with our household expenses.
Jaime has only called a couple of times, to tell me how busy he is. Whenever I’ve tried to call him, his mobile has been switched off. In order not to seem untrusting, I did not ask him for his hotel number.
When Jaime got back today he looked tired and anxious. As soon as he had taken his shoes off, he shut himself in the bathroom for more than an hour. I listened intently for any noise, and when I heard nothing, I asked him through the door, ‘Is anything wrong, Jaime?’
‘Leave me in peace!’ he snapped back.
‘Is there anything I can do for you, darling? Perhaps it would do you good to talk. I don’t know: is something worrying you?’
‘Leave me in peace!’ he repeated. ‘You don’t have the faintest idea of the problems I’ve got!’
When he came out an hour later, his eyes were all puffy, and he spent all afternoon and most of the evening chain-smoking, without saying a word to me.
When he came to bed, he didn’t even touch me. Until now, whenever we have spent the night together, we’ve made love. This was the first time he had refused.
Jaime left early for his office. I wasn’t even able to tell him I was starting my new job today, when everyone else is going on holiday. Just in case he arrived home before me, I left him a note in the kitchen explaining everything. That’s exactly what happened. When I got in this evening, worried about the way he had been yesterday, I found him watching TV in the living room.
‘You could have told me you were starting work today,’ he said reproachfully.
‘I know, Jaime, but yesterday you were impossible. You didn’t want to talk, and you were so closed in on yourself it seemed you had some difficulty or other.’
‘I had a problem I didn’t want to talk about. What’s this about work?’
I explained how I had found the job, and what it implied.
‘So you’re going to have to travel?’
I could tell just by looking at him that he was angry.
‘Yes, occasionally.’
‘On your own?’
‘No, with my boss. He’s American. In September we have to go to a show in Italy, and . . .’
‘American? Another one who’ll want to fuck you!’
This unexpected reply left me speechless. Jaime was obviously in the same mood as yesterday.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘You heard. He wants you to travel with him so he can fuck you. You’ll see. You’re still too young. You don’t know how things are.’
I was astounded. It didn’t seem right to me for him to judge in that way someone he had never met.
‘It doesn’t matter. Off you go to Italy. Travel with that asshole. But if he so much as touches you, you’re to take the first plane back here, got it?’
I found myself agreeing, because I was scared that if I didn’t, he might have hit me.
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Do you promise?’
‘Of course, Jaime. I promise!’
He fell silent for five minutes, and I thought the matter was over and done with.
‘What about you? You want to fuck him too, don’t you?’
Yet again, I was dumbstruck. I couldn’t understand why he was saying this kind of thing all of a sudden.
‘No, I don’t want to fuck him in the slightest,’ I said, my words trailing away sadly.
This time it was me who headed for the bathroom to cry. Jaime had gone too far: all at once he looked really evil, and he was obviously spoiling for a fight. He has changed so much over the past few days, he’s almost like a completely different person. In the bathroom I found a small jar I had never seen before. In it were about a hundred grams of white powder; on the label were the ingredients of a chemist’s prescription. As I was picking the jar up, Jaime came up silently behind me, and put a hand on my shoulder. I was so startled I almost dropped it.
‘It’s powder for the wound I have on my ankle. I have it specially prepared at a chemist’s. It’s very expensive, so leave it where it is!’
I put the jar back on the bathroom shelf and said nothing.
Every morning, Jaime uses a kind of scalpel to scrape off the layers of dead skin on his ankle. If he didn’t he wouldn’t be able to put on his shoe and walk properly. He has been to see several specialists and, according to him, it’s a very rare phenomenon which cannot be cured. None of them had ever seen anything like it.