65
EXACTLY 6:32 IN THE MORNING,
TUESDAY, JANUARY 11TH
We are standing in the kitchen. Looking at each other. There is a white plastic bag behind her on the counter. I don’t know what’s in it.
“I need to spend a lot of time at the hospital,” my Forever Mom says, “but most of that time will be during the day while you’re at school. Grammy and Granddad will come over a lot to help out. I need you to—”
She stops talking and takes a breath. Her mouth makes a straight line. “I just need you to get through this. Without any incidents.”
“What’s an incident?”
“It’s something you do that’s unexpected,” she says. “Something that causes trouble. You know, like—”
She stops in the middle of her sentence. “Actually, if you don’t mind, I don’t want to give you any examples. I don’t want to put any bright ideas in your head.”
I don’t know what bright ideas means but I’m guessing it’s mostly an expression.
“I know you’ve been spending a lot of time with your dad lately. I know you’ve gotten used to him, and he’s gotten used to you. And that’s great. It really is. But you need to be patient with me, Ginny. I have to be the one taking care of you now. For a little while, anyway.”
“Until he comes back?”
She looks away and then looks back. “Right. Until he comes back. After that we’ll see. Patrice will help us work through it. Let’s just go over the rules for this week, okay?”
I nod my head yes.
“The most important rule is one you already know. Do you remember it?”
“There is no reason for me to touch Baby Wendy whatsoever,” I say.
“Right. Good. Now, the next rule is that you have to make a list each day and follow it. Because it’s important for us to keep busy, isn’t it?”
I nod my head yes.
“Good. And when you make your list, you should show it to me, and I’ll add some extra things to it for you. There’s a lot of work to do around the house, now that your dad isn’t home to help out anymore. The extra things I’ll add to it will be a few more chores, like emptying the garbage or clearing the table. Maybe helping me bring groceries in after I come home from shopping, or sweeping off the cars when it snows. Nothing too hard or complicated. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I say.
“Great. And the next rule is when Baby Wendy’s crying gets to be too much for you, you’ll go out and take a walk. Just get your hat and boots and go outside.”
“And my coat.”
“And your coat. And your gloves, too, of course. The point is when Wendy cries, you should go outside and get some fresh air. I can’t have you freaking out and screaming in your room like you do, or climbing out the window. Things like that are just too much, okay? So if you hear Wendy cry, and it’s light enough out, you should just go outside until she stops. And if it’s in the middle of the night...”
She turns around and takes something out of the bag. It is white and has buttons on it and looks like a radio.
“And if it’s in the middle of the night,” she says again, “you’ll have this on, so just turn it up louder. It’s a noise maker. Patrice recommended it to me. It makes the sound of rain or the ocean so that you can’t hear what’s going on outside your room. I bet you can figure out how to work it.”
She puts it on the counter next to me. I pick it up.
“The noise maker will help you sleep at night, too,” she says. “It’s very soothing. And another rule is no hiding food. You have plenty to eat here at the Blue House, so there’s no need to store up food and squirrel it away in drawers or in your closet. Right?”
“Right.”
“And the last rule is if you know I’m upstairs, you need to stay downstairs. Wendy needs to eat every three hours or so, so I have to go up there a lot to feed her. When I go up there, you’ll need to be a big girl and take care of yourself down here, okay?”
“Okay.”
She swallows. “And I also want to say that I’m very sorry I hit you that time when you walked in on us. It’s just that I thought you were going to try to take the baby. I get pretty territorial about Baby Wendy. Moms get that way with their first kids. She’s so tiny. I have to keep her safe.”
But that isn’t true so I say, “But, Maura, Baby Wendy is not your first kid.”
She puts her hand on her lips. “What did you just say?”
“I am your first kid,” I say.
“Right. Of course you are—but did you call me Maura?”
I nod my head yes.
“Why?” she says. “You haven’t called either of us by our first names since the day you came to live here.”
I don’t know the reason why. The name just came out of my mouth so I don’t say anything.
Her eyes look wet. “Did someone tell you not to call me Mom anymore?”
I shake my head no. “This isn’t a Forever Home,” I say.
I clamp my hands over my mouth. Fast. I want to take the words back because now Maura might figure out my secret plan. She might figure out that I know Gloria’s phone number and that I’m going to call her to tell her it’s time to go up to Canada. I just need to get a phone. I looked today at school but I didn’t find one.
“Oh,” she says. “It sounds like you’re starting to put two and two together, then.
“So the cat is completely out of the bag. I might as well come to terms with it myself. With talking about it, I mean. After all—Anyway, I know Patrice showed you the pictures of Saint Genevieve’s, so I guess it’s okay. Do you want to talk about it now? Because we can, if you want. You have to leave pretty soon to catch the bus, but we can talk about it for a few minutes.”
She looks at the clock on the stove.
I don’t understand. I think hard.
“Ginny?”
“What?” I say. And cover my mouth again.
Maura gives a little smile. “It’s okay,” she says. “I’ll make sure everyone knows that you’re going back to calling us all by our first names. It makes me a little sad, you know. A lot sadder than I would have guessed. We had some good times for a while, when it was just the three of us. But you seem pretty comfortable with the idea. Are you really as comfortable as you seem?”
I take my hands down. “I’m not really comfortable,” I say.
“Oh,” she says. “Well, then. That’s understandable. We don’t have to discuss it at all today. Just so long as we have an understanding. We can deal with it some other time. For now, let’s just get through the rest of this week.”