Chapter Eleven

Ian

I pulled away from Erin, which took all the strength in me. “What are we doing?”

Her blue eyes gazed up at me. “I don’t know what you’re doing, but I’m kissing you.”

“Because I gave you a necklace?” The necklace had only meant to say, “I appreciate you.” I hadn’t bought it to get her back into bed. “That wasn’t why I—”

“I know.” Her fingers played with the middle button on my shirt, which she focused on like it held the darkest secrets of the universe. “You’re right. This is a bad idea.”

I took her hands in mine. “I never said it was a bad idea.” Kissing her was the best idea. I couldn’t come up with a better one—not renewable energy, not an unbreakable cell phone, not self-replenishing beer.

“But we promised each other we’d stay friends…”

“We also said we’d be brutally honest.” I tilted her chin up. “The truth is, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Every time I invited you over and you shot me down, it agonized me. I tried going out with my friends, tried to recapture some of my old life, and all I could think about was you.”

Erin stared at me, breathing harder. Her hard stomach tapped against mine. And then she was on her toes again, kissing me, but this time I went along with it. Until she finally pulled away.

“Damn it.” She picked up a rogue plastic spoon on the buffet table. “We really can’t do this. I’ll lose the bet with Nat.”

I chuckled. “If that’s the only thing holding you back, I’ll buy her the damn SMARTboard.”

Erin grinned. She looked ready to pounce, ready to jump into my arms, but since she was eight months pregnant, she stepped gingerly toward me, and I met her halfway.

“We can go to my place,” I said, as she dragged me by the hand down the desolate Academy corridor, lined by the first and second grade classrooms.

“No time,” she said. “We’ll go to my office.”

“We’re going to have sex in the principal’s office?”

“Shhh!” She glanced around nervously, probably making sure no one was here. I laughed again, relishing the joy of being with Erin. My whole body lightened around her. My problems disappeared, and jokes and fun and happiness replaced them.

She shut the door behind us and locked it.

I eyed her desk. “Can I do the whole sweep everything onto the floor thing?”

Erin stepped over and plucked several items off the desktop—laptop, crystal award of some kind, a bulky manila folder. She looked over her stuff one more time. “Okay. Now you can.”

I swiped everything to the floor. Paperclips rained down to the carpet. Her nameplate clanked against the side of her metal desk. Then I lifted her onto the empty surface and kissed her hard, as if it were both the first and last time.

Afterward, we cuddled naked together in her swivel chair, my legs propped up on her desk, hers hanging over one of the arms. James moved under her skin.

“You look like a gremlin about to multiply,” I said, touching the spot on her belly that had just jutted out. It looked like James was trying to kick his way out of there.

“And…we’re done.” She started to stand, but I held her tight against me.

“In a good way!” I laughed.

She scowled at me. “I look like a reproducing gremlin…in a good way?”

I hugged her around the waist and kissed her neck. “Yes.”

“Well, okay then.” She nuzzled her cheek against mine. “We should do this again.”

“Now?” I glanced down at my lap. “I need a minute.”

“Not now,” she said. “We should probably GTFO before the cleaning crew wants to get in here.” She nibbled my earlobe. “I mean, we should do this again tomorrow…and the day after that.”

Fuck. Tomorrow.

“About that.” A bitter taste rose to my throat, as I ran a finger down her smooth, milky upper arm. “I’m not going to be here tomorrow.”

She pulled away slightly and glared at me in her no-nonsense principal way. “Metaphorically or physically?”

“Physically.” I touched her sternum. “I’ll definitely be here mentally, believe me. But I have to go to Tokyo”—I rolled my eyes—“again. The good news is that I’m only going there for Fumetsu to sign the papers. I’ll be back in a few days.”

Her face softened. “Okay, then. When you get back, we’ll do this again.”

“And again and again and again.” I kissed her cheek. “And in the meantime, we can text like teenagers in love.”

“Maybe chat while watching a movie together like that one night?”

“Definitely,” I said. “Then I’ll be back by next weekend, and we can pick up exactly where we left off.”

…

Erin

“So, we’re all set then, sponsor wise?” I rested my elbows on my desk. Maria Minnesota sat across from me. Katie had once again perched on the couch near the window, taking notes.

“I think we’re on track,” Maria said. Normally I didn’t get all insecure around other women, but Maria the travel blogger was the exception. She was always super nice, but also incredibly put together, and I felt like Grimace the McDonald’s character around her—all bloated and purple and shapeless.

“Fantastic.” I closed my folder. Meeting adjourned. I needed her to leave so I could hop in my car and grab a burger at the nearest drive-thru. When I saw Dana earlier this week, on Monday, she told me my iron was low, so I took that as a license to stop at Wendy’s every chance I got.

“I just wanted to say…” Maria, not taking the hint that her cue to leave had come and gone, remained in her seat. In fact, she’d uncrossed and re-crossed her legs, like she was prepared to spend another hour here, chatting. “Ian told me about the baby. I think it’s great that you’re doing the whole parenting thing on your own.”

I smiled at the mention of Ian and instinctively checked my watch. Nope. Still no message from him. He’d sent me a quick one to let me know he’d arrived in Tokyo and that he’d call me later, but that was two days ago. “Thanks.” I avoided Katie’s gaze. I’d told her about Ian and me hooking up again, and she’d bombarded me with six hundred questions I had no answers to: “What does this mean? Are you together together? Are you moving out?” I’d said nothing had been decided, and that we’d talk when he was back in town this weekend.

Still, every time she caught me checking my phone, I noticed the look of pity on her face.

“You’re smart to keep things with Ian platonic,” Maria said. “He’s god-awful at intimacy.”

I nodded slowly. How was the gorgeous head of our school fund-raiser so well-acquainted with Ian’s intimacy level?

She rolled her big brown eyes. “We used to date. Ish. For exactly one minute. Full disclosure.”

I probably looked like a frog catching flies. Thankfully, Katie—my muscle—was there to speak for me. She got up, stepped over to the desk, folded her toned arms, and said, “Well, now Ian and Erin are dating.” Katie narrowed her eyes at me in a question. “Ish?”

“You’re actually together?” she asked.

“It’s a work in progress,” I said, my finger itching to touch my watch again, just to see if maybe, maybe I’d missed the pulse from a new text. “We haven’t defined things yet.”

Maria chuckled. “Don’t worry.” She leaned across the desk like we were coconspirators now, like we both had the exact same relationship-experience with Ian Donovan, like I wasn’t the one sitting here all pregnant with his child. “He’ll define things for you.”

Her words landed like a thud in my bones. But I was the one who’d originally put the kibosh on the possibility of romance between us. I was the one who’d shot him down every time he wanted to get together. And, heck, I’d been the one to reinitiate physical contact at the Academy on Friday night.

But now here I was checking my phone every five seconds, waiting for him to call.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Maria said. “I’m happy for you.” She widened her eyes, and I believed her. This wasn’t a malicious conversation. It was a sisterhood chat. “It’s just, I know what he was like during the time we were dating.”

Katie cracked her knuckles. “You said you and Ian only dated for a second.” She gestured toward me. “Things are different between him and Erin. There’s a baby involved.”

“I know,” Maria said. “And I’m sure he’s trying. He probably thinks he’s putting in a real effort. But Ian sucks at letting people in. It goes ‘job’”—she raised her hand above her head—“‘buddies’”—she lowered her hand a fraction of an inch—“and ‘everybody else’”—she bent over, dropping her hand to the floor.

“Erin’s at buddy level.” Katie winked at me in support. “At least.”

I shook my head. I didn’t need her defending me, not if she was going to start referring to me as Ian’s “buddy.” I felt like even less than that at this point. People texted their pals, at least. He’d gone radio silent on me.

But it had only been three days. A long weekend, basically. He was probably working hard in Tokyo, and we’d talk all about it when he came back on Saturday. I would not start reading more into this that I needed to.

“I’m sure you’re right,” Maria said. “Things are totally different. You’re having a kid!” She shot me a gigantic, thousand-watt smile.

“We are!” I raised my arms in feigned enthusiasm. We were having a kid, which meant it wasn’t just me Ian was ignoring right now. Before we hooked up on Friday night, Ian had texted me all the time. But now…nothing. It was hard not to draw the correlation. Especially since this situation couldn’t be more clichéd if it tried. I stood, signaling the end of the meeting. I had to go home and curl up in a ball for a while.

“Thanks, Maria,” I said. “We’ll be in touch as the Gala gets closer.”

After she left, Katie turned to me. “You about ready to get burgers?”

“I’m ready to go,” I said. “But no food. I’ve lost my appetite.”