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THE RIDE BACK FROM the garden wasn’t bad, even though Britt was confused and disappointed by what had happened earlier with Nash.
He’d been going to kiss her. She knew it for sure. But he’d slammed on the brakes. Shoved her away—not physically, of course, but that was exactly how his rejection had felt to her. And now he’d appeared to have completely forgotten she existed at all.
She didn’t like it.
She wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake some sense into him.
She’d never experienced with anyone else the kind of chemistry, visceral intensity, and emotional connection she and Nash had shared for those moments at the garden. It had rocked her. It simply wasn’t something that happened often. Not to her, at least.
So to grind it to a stop midstream and then pretend it hadn’t happened at all was the last thing she wanted to do. And she couldn’t understand why that was clearly what Nash wanted.
But he did. She couldn’t force anything to happen with him, just because she wanted it so much. He had boundaries, and she wouldn’t cross them. He had walls sky-high that she was incapable of traversing. So she’d be a grownup and a considerate person and accept his decision on this.
Even though it was wrong.
Very, very wrong.
The older ladies kept the conversation going on the drive back, and she participated as much as she could. No one seemed to recognize that anything was different about her mood. Nash didn’t say a single word the whole trip back, but that wasn’t unusual for him. He dropped off his grandmother and her friends first before he headed back to park in his normal spot behind Coble Coffee. She was satisfied she was acting friendly and natural as she thanked him for taking her along and told him she’d had a good time.
It was true. She had. Even though she hadn’t gotten everything she wanted.
They both went into Coble Coffee, and Nash strode toward the office without a glance back at Britt or a word for Megan, who was working behind the counter.
Britt heard the office door shut with an unmistakable sound.
She exhaled and told herself not to feel hurt. Rejected. He had issues. A lot of them. This wasn’t likely to be personal toward her.
It was Nash.
Megan finished making a cappuccino for the customer waiting and then came over to where Britt was leaning against the corner of the counter. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Britt smiled and tried to mean it.
Megan’s eyes moved from Britt’s face to the office door at the back of the store. “Things went fine?”
“Yeah, it was actually a lot of fun. I really like the ladies. We had fun. I’m glad I went.”
“And Nash?”
“What about him?” Britt tried to force down an instinctive swell of defensiveness.
“Things were okay with him? He seemed kind of... I don’t know... closed down.”
“He’s always closed down.” Britt had no idea why she suddenly chose not to tell her friend about what had happened with Nash. When she’d walked in here, she’d assumed she would. She told her friends everything. She never kept secrets. But as the words were coming out, they shaped themselves in a particular way. And her choice was made before she realized it. “He was fine. He didn’t talk much, but that’s just the way he is. He obviously loves his grandma, and all three of the ladies adore him. It was... it was kind of nice to see that side of him.”
Megan was studying her closely, but also discreetly, as if she didn’t want Britt to know the extent of her scrutiny. But all she said was, “Yeah. He doesn’t like to show that side to the world, but it’s definitely there. Did you spend any time with just him?”
“No.” Britt smiled again, and she thought this time was more convincing. “The ladies were always around, but that’s what made it fun. Otherwise it would have been really hard work for me—trying to get conversation out of a brick wall.”
“Okay. Glad you had a good time.” There was no way to judge from Megan’s face whether she believed Britt or not, but at least she wasn’t pushing or interrogating. “You hanging out here for a while?”
“Nah, I’m kind of tired now, and I have to work on an annoying presentation for tomorrow. I think I’ll head back home.”
“Sounds good. Talk to you later.”
Megan went over to serve a customer who’d just walked in, and Britt was able to escape.
She only glanced back once to the closed office door before she left.
***
ON SATURDAY NIGHT, Britt was returning after another date, and she was trying not to cry again.
Crying after dates was becoming a habit for her, and she didn’t like it.
She wanted it to stop.
There were still ten minutes left until closing time at Coble Coffee, so instead of driving all the way back home, she parked on the street right in front and hurried inside.
Megan was supposed to be working tonight, but she wasn’t there. The place was completely empty except for the man behind the counter. He was cleaning off one of the big pieces of equipment they used for coffee. Britt had no idea what it was, since she’d never paid attention to how her coffee drinks were made. His hair was brown and rumpled in the back. His shirt was a button-up one with small blue and gray checks—untucked and faded with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His shoulders were broad, and his butt was firm and tight beneath the worn denim of his jeans.
He turned around after a few seconds, obviously hearing the chime on the door. Froze when he saw who’d just come in.
“Hey,” she said, internally screaming at herself to not feel flustered and jittery. She’d done a decent job this week of pushing the thing with Nash out of her mind. All those feelings didn’t need to rear back up right now, simply because she was coming face to face with him. “I thought Megan was working.”
“She was. We were empty, so I told her to take off early.” His eyes looked green tonight. They moved back and forth from her face to the cleaning rag in his hand.
“Oh. Okay.” She’d made it over to the counter now. She leaned against it, since her legs didn’t want to support her.
“You need her?”
She shrugged. “Just...”
“Another bad date?” He’d stepped forward, standing directly across the counter from her. He was wiping it with his rag, but his eyes kept darting up to her face.
“Yeah.” Her shoulders slumped, and she closed her eyes.
“Another asshole?”
“No. Not at all. He was actually a really nice guy.”
“So what was the problem then?”
She opened her eyes because she needed to see his expression. She had to. He was busy scouring the counter, although it had already looked clean. She would have thought he wasn’t even interested in what she was saying, but his gaze kept flickering up occasionally and he was asking pointed questions, which he never did unless he was genuinely invested in a conversation.
So that gave her courage enough to admit, “He was... great. Everything I’ve been looking for in a guy. But I just couldn’t make myself... care.” She cringed and closed her eyes again. “He wanted to kiss me goodnight, and there was no reason not to. But I didn’t want to.”
The room was completely silent for a few seconds. Then Nash took a slightly ragged breath. “Why not?”
“Because he wasn’t...” She couldn’t finish. Wouldn’t finish. Although she knew exactly what the end of the sentence was.
She’d tried so hard to generate interest in Carter tonight, but at each step of the way she’d been wishing he was someone else. Someone less talkative. Less cheerful. Less clean-shaven. More of a challenge.
She’d been wishing he was Nash, and she didn’t understand why this was happening to her. She’d never thought about Nash that way before, and nothing real had ever happened between them.
But the thought of him was sabotaging her attempt to find a man who actually wanted her.
It was infuriating.
“He wasn’t what?” Nash asked, looking up again, his hand clutching the rag but completely unmoving on the counter.
She shrugged again. She wasn’t going to tell him the truth. She wasn’t opposed to opening up to people, but he hadn’t done anything to deserve it.
He breathed a few times. Strangely thick.
She checked his face and saw it was tense. Urgent. His eyes were... hungry.
Her heart started to hammer, and her own breathing accelerated. From nothing more than his needy expression.
“Why aren’t you answering me?” he muttered, low and gravelly.
Indignation sliced through her other emotions, and she squared her shoulders and glared up at him. “Why should I? Do I owe you the truth about everything I’m thinking and feeling?”
“Of course you don’t owe me that. But I still want to know it.” He finally let go of the rag. He pushed out from behind the counter until he was standing less than a foot away from her. “You couldn’t get into your date tonight because he wasn’t what?”
She’d never seen him like this. Not angry but fiery. Intense. With that same urgently hungry expression in his eyes. It roused her in a way she’d never experienced before. Like she’d suddenly come alive from her head to the tips of her toes. Every vein throbbing and every nerve ending sparking.
“It’s none of your business,” she snapped out, surprised when her voice came out almost as thick as his. “You keep all your feelings to yourself, so you can’t expect me to open up to you.”
He reached out and put a hand on her face, tilting it up so she had to meet his eyes. “Tell me!”
“He wasn’t you, you big asshole! I couldn’t get into him because he wasn’t you!” She practically spit the words out at him—nothing soft or alluring about them. They sounded more like an accusation than anything else.
He made a sound in his throat. His hand slid down to span one side of her neck. Then his face changed. Just as intense as before, but hotter now. Smoldering with a fire she’d never known existed in him.
He leaned down toward her, holding her neck with his other hand too so he could keep her in place as he kissed her.
It wasn’t soft and gentle and tentative. It was hard, deep, ravenous. His lips moved against hers needily until she’d opened for him. Then his tongue was all the way in her mouth. Taking. Claiming. Changing everything.
She held onto his shoulders and kissed him back, making weird little whimpers into his mouth. She didn’t normally do that when she kissed, but she couldn’t seem to help it right now. It felt so good. And so overpowering at the same time.
Their height difference was a problem. Nash was having to lean down a lot to get to her. His hands slid down her body until he was cupping her bottom. He used the grip to lift her up and plant her on the edge of the counter.
Now she was slightly higher than his level, and she made a mewling sound of pleasure when he pulled her body toward him. She wrapped her legs around him, unconcerned about the fact that her soft skirt got hiked up around her hips in the process. She loved the feel of his hard, lean body pressed against hers, and that was all that mattered right now.
It was a long time before he broke the embrace, and when he did, it was only to start pressing little kisses all over her cheeks and jaw and then down the line of her throat.
She dropped her head backward and gave a long, shameless moan.
He grunted, sliding his hand up and down one of her thighs.
“Please don’t stop this time,” she gasped when it felt like something in his stance was changing.
He sucked in a harsh breath and straightened up. His face was flushed under his beard, and his eyes were even hungrier than ever. “You really want this?”
“Yes. I want it so bad.” She wasn’t embarrassed. It was nothing but the truth, and there could be no doubt about how much he wanted it too. “So please don’t stop.”
He glanced back toward the door to the shop, and she realized for the first time that they were making out on the counter of the coffee shop when anyone could come in. Or see through the window. “There’s a couch in my office,” he said gruffly. “I’ll lock the door.”
He helped her down, and she hurried back into the office. He was only a few steps behind her.
When he closed the door behind him, they stood for a minute just staring at each other, both of them still breathing heavily. The office was small and slightly cramped with the desk, office chair, some disorganized shelving, and the old leather couch wedged against the back wall. And Nash’s presence—the intensity radiating out of him right now—was filling it. Swallowing everything.
Finally, he muttered, “You still wanna—”
“Yes!” She lunged for him, grabbing the back of his neck and using it for leverage to get up to his mouth. He helped by taking hold of her hips and lifting her higher until she could wrap her legs around him.
They kissed and kissed and kissed until her head felt like it might fly off her neck and her body was throbbing with a tidal wave of need and desire. Then he finally carried her over to the couch. He was still trying to kiss her as he bent over to lay her down.
Her skirt was hiked up from his hands and from her position, and her panties had gotten wedged up into her crack, so she squealed in surprise at the feel of the cool leather against her bare skin.
Nash broke away from her mouth with a jerk. “What’s the matter?”
“Nothing.” She giggled, a little embarrassed but no less aroused. She pulled him down on top of her until he was straddling her legs with his and holding his upper body on his forearms. “The leather against my butt was kind of startling. It’s cold.” She lifted her hips slightly. “And it sticks.”
He chuckled and rearranged enough to grab a canvas apron from the messy pile on the floor. He lifted her up and slid it beneath her, so her butt was resting on it instead of the leather. “How’s that?”
Still bubbling over with laughter, she fit him down on top of her again. “Much better.”
It was a lot nicer this way than standing up. The height difference between them didn’t matter in any significant way. Their groins were almost aligned, and she couldn’t resist wrapping one leg around the back of his thighs. He still wore his jeans, but she could feel the bulge of his erection.
It was tantalizing. Irresistible. The most delicious sort of challenge.
He was smiling in a way she’d never seen from him. Warm and amused and as hot as she was and also something else. Almost, almost soft.
It made her heart swell until it felt too big for her chest. She’d assumed his gruff rejection of her last week was a permanent one. She’d never dreamed she might see him like this.
“You sure about this?” His face was about six inches away from hers. He smelled like coffee and laundry and something earthy and natural. Distinctly him. His breath blew a few stray pieces of her hair.
“Yes. To tell you the truth, I can’t remember ever wanting to have sex with someone as much as I want you right now.”
Again, she wasn’t embarrassed by the admission. Yes, it made her vulnerable, but she wanted him to know how into this she was right now. It felt important.
His eyes blazed. No other word to describe it. “Yeah?” he asked, soft and hoarse.
“Yeah.”
“Me too,” he mumbled, ducking his head to kiss the base of her neck. She almost missed his last words. “No one else has even come close.”
She tangled her fingers in his hair as he sucked on the pulse in her throat, and then she started tugging at his shirt when he kissed his way back to her mouth.
He evidently wasn’t in a hurry like a lot of the guys she’d gone to bed with, who often rushed through the preliminaries so they could get to the parts they wanted. She and Nash kissed for a long time, rocking together with increasing urgency. He was moving one of his hands over her clothes, feeling her side, her hip, her bare thigh. Everywhere he touched flamed with sensation.
Eventually, she was so turned on she couldn’t stay still. She was rolling her hips against his groin and whimpering into his mouth. She’d managed to get her hands under his shirt and the T-shirt he wore beneath it, and she was clawing lines down his bare skin as her need intensified.
She finally broke out of the kiss. “Nash, please!”
He lifted his head and blinked down at her, like he’d been lost in a daze.
“If I don’t come soon, I’m going to lose it. You’re ready for action too, aren’t you?”
He gave a huff of amusement and kissed her gently. “I’ve been ready for action with you for a really long time. I just wanted—” He cut himself off and glanced away.
“You wanted what?” She used both hands to turn his head back so she could see him.
“I wanted to make sure it was...” He cleared his throat, obviously unused to being so open. “Good for you,” he concluded in almost a mumble.
Her face twisted with emotion, and she grabbed him into another kiss.
He meant it. He cared more about her in doing this than he did about himself.
This time, as they kissed, Nash started fumbling with his clothes. Shrugging off his checked shirt and then undoing his jeans. He finally broke the kiss so he could yank off his T-shirt.
Since this seemed a good strategy, she pulled off her own top and wiggled out of her skirt. She reached around to undo her bra, but paused when she noticed him staring down at her chest. The look in his eyes...
“Please,” he breathed when she couldn’t seem to move.
For no good reason, her hands were trembling as she pulled the pink bra away from her skin.
Her breasts were decent. At least, she’d always thought so. B-cup. Firm and rounded with rosy nipples. Guys had always seemed to like them pretty well, but nothing could have prepared her for the way Nash was gazing down at her nearly naked body.
She expected him to say something, but he didn’t. He clearly wasn’t any more of a talker in bed than he was out of it.
But it was impossible not to see his reaction to her. How much he loved how she looked.
It went to her head like too much wine. She was gasping with pleasure and also giggling just a little as he leaned down to kiss and then tease her breasts in turn.
After a minute, when she couldn’t stop the giggling, he lifted his head and slanted her a look.
“Sorry,” she gasped, suddenly worried he was misreading her reaction. A lot guys had been very unhappy when she’d giggled too much in bed. “Sorry. I’m not laughing at you. I just do that when I... when I... feel too much.”
He held her gaze for another few seconds. Then he gave a pleased little smile before he started working on her breasts again.
She giggled even more. He wasn’t simply tolerating her silly responses.
He actually liked them.
He suckled and teased until her laughter had turned to impatient mews. Then he slid a hand between her legs, tucked his fingers under her panties, and felt her intimate flesh.
She was more than ready for him. His breath hitched as he felt how wet she was.
Then he kissed her again and at the same time began pumping two fingers inside her.
She was way too far gone to focus on the kiss, so he had to do most of the work. His tongue was moving to the same rhythm as his fingers, and it took almost no time for a climax to break.
She made a little sobbing sound into his mouth as the pleasure pulsed through her. Her inner muscles were spasming hard around his fingers.
Finally falling out of the kiss, she arched her neck and closed her eyes. “Oh my God. That was so good. Thank you.”
His eyes blazed again with something like pleased possessiveness. He mumbled a wordless response and moved back down to her breasts. She’d thought he’d shift to the main event now that he’d gotten her off, but he didn’t.
His fingers inside her started working again, curling up against her g-spot as he suckled a nipple.
This orgasm didn’t come as easily. It felt bigger and deeper and harder. She was making silly little grunts and rocking her hips, trying to ride his fingers, as the sensations intensified.
He released her nipple and gave her a light nip on the side of her breast, and she came apart completely, coming loud and messy as her whole body shook through the climax.
For the first time, she was almost embarrassed as her body softened and relaxed, still rocked with the occasional little aftershocks.
She’d never been that loud and uninhibited in her life.
But her self-consciousness disappeared when Nash propped himself up above her. He was smiling that little smile again.
She giggled.
Then she reached down to his open jeans and slid her hands beneath his boxers until she could wrap her fingers around his erection.
He sucked in a breath between his teeth and jerked his head to the side.
He’d taken his time. Made sure she’d come twice. But he really wanted this.
Wanted her.
That realization fueled her with a new wave of need. She started pushing down his jeans and underwear. They had a brief interruption while she found a condom in her bag and he tore it open and rolled it on with clumsy haste, but then she was pulling off her panties, parting her legs and bending her knees so he could line himself up at her entrance.
He hadn’t even gotten his pants all the way off, but it didn’t matter. Neither of them could wait any longer.
She gasped and whined a little as he edged himself into her. He was hard and thick, and the penetration stretched her. But she even liked that. How raw and full it felt. After a minute of breathing and shifting together, she’d relaxed. It felt nothing but good.
Then he started rolling his hips, and she pumped up to meet his thrusts. It took a little time to synchronize their motion, learn what the other liked, but soon they were moving together with a hot, naked urgency.
He was grunting—loud and animalistic—in time with his motion, and there was something so primal about the sound and feel of him that she loved. Like the deepest core of his being needed to do this with her.
Her whole body was getting shook with the force of his thrusts, and the way her breasts and hair and the flesh on her thighs was jiggling made it all hotter. Another orgasm had shaped itself at her core. She wanted it. Needed it. She dug her fingernails into the tight flesh of his ass, the muscles there clenching as he worked them, and she kept letting out loud sobbing sounds that became increasingly urgent as she got closer.
At one point, he slowed his pumping long enough to rasp, “Is this okay?” His eyes searched her hot, damp face.
She let out a loud, helpless giggle at the earnest question. “Yes! Don’t stop. Please don’t stop. I need it... so much.”
He got going again—even harder and faster than before—and soon she was crying out as she fell over the edge. She shook through the spasms, and they lasted a long time as he fell out of rhythm and released with a long, stretched moan.
They rocked together a little more as they came down. He panted wetly against her neck, and she stroked his bare back.
And it was good. All good. Perfect. Until he cleared his throat and pulled himself out and climbed off her.
Britt felt a little self-conscious as she sat up. Her panties were in a twist on the floor, so she pulled them on and then hunted until she found her bra.
Nash had stood up to take care of the condom and pull up his jeans and boxers. He sat down beside her and didn’t say anything as she put back on her skirt and top.
She wanted to say something light and easy to move them past this moment, but she couldn’t think of a single word to say. She twisted her hands in her lap anxiously.
He cleared his throat. Darted a few quick looks toward her. Then reached over and covered her hands with one of his big ones.
That made it better. She giggled nervously, but her smile was genuine as she looked at him. “This part is always kind of awkward. Afterwards, but when you don’t really know what’s... what’s...”
“Yeah.” He let out a breath. “But it was good. Really good. The best I... The best I’ve ever had.”
“Me too,” she admitted.
This appeared to surprise him. He turned toward her with a jerk of his head.
“You didn’t think it was good for me too?” she asked.
“Yeah. I did, but... I never thought you’d be interested in me.”
“I never thought so either, if you want to know the truth. I’m not sure where it even came from. But we’re good together.” She looked down at her hands. “No question about that.”
“No. No question.”
Part of her wanted this conversation to be over, but the rest of her knew she needed some more definitive answers right now. Her emotions were in a flutter, and if she didn’t give them some sort of grounding, then who knew where they’d end up flying her away to. So she made herself say, “I thought... I mean, my understanding has always been that you don’t want a real relationship. Is that right?”
His face twisted strangely, and he looked away. “Yeah. That’s true.”
“And that’s... and that’s still true?”
He sat in silence for what felt like a long time. Then said hoarsely, “I don’t think anything’s changed about who I am.”
She nodded, ignoring a clutch of disappointment. This was exactly what she’d expected, so she had no reason to feel even a little bit crushed. “That’s what I assumed. It’s too bad, since we’re so good together, but if you don’t want a relationship, then you... just don’t.”
He opened his mouth. Closed it again.
Since she was uncomfortable, she babbled. Like she always did. “It’s fine, Nash. Really, it is. It’s just too bad, since having sex with you was so... so good. But I’m not expecting anything from you. I never did. I’ll just miss... having more sex.”
He opened his mouth again. But still no actual words.
But she read something in his face. “Unless you want to keep having sex? Not a real relationship, but just sex? Are you interested in—”
“You wouldn’t want that, would you?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’m probably more of a real relationship girl, but I do like to have sex. And we’re so good together, that it would be a shame not to take advantage of it.”
His spine stiffened. “Really? You’d be okay with just... just...”
“Screwing each other’s brains out?” She phrased it crudely on purpose to break the tension.
It worked. He chuckled, the tightness in his shoulders softening some.
“I think I’d be fine with it. I’ve had casual sex before.”
“You have?”
“Why are you surprised? You think I expect every man I sleep with to fall in love with me?”
“No, of course not.” He looked away again. Shifted on the couch. “It’s just that feelings seem to matter a lot to you.”
“They do. But not all feelings have to be love. Right?”
His mouth quirked up slightly. He slanted his eyes up to meet her gaze. “Right.”
“So maybe we can just see what happens. If we feel like getting together again, then we can. But no strings or expectations or pressure about what it means or what happens next. I’d be good with that, if it means we can do this again.”
She was pleased with how relaxed and grownup she sounded—and her feelings almost matched the tone of her voice. It sounded like fun. Something different. And really hot.
“I’d be good with that too,” he said, a slight rumble in his voice.
“But, if it’s okay with you, let’s maybe not tell other people about it. I don’t want to get into all the ins and outs with a lot of curious bystanders.”
“That sounds good to me. Just the two of us. And we’ll see what happens.”
“Okay. Good.” She nodded, pleased about how they’d dealt with it and excited about what might happen tomorrow. “I’ll see you later then.”
“See you.”
She slipped on her shoes and grabbed her bag and then headed back out toward her car. She was surprised when Nash came with her, pulling on his T-shirt as he walked. He stood at the door watching until she made it safely to her car.