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Time 2 $ave, Time 2 Give

And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

Acts 20:35

The vision behind this book reaches beyond finding deals. It’s about giving. It’s about bringing hope. And it’s about making a difference.

This final chapter sends you off into the world to make a difference, not just in your own wallet or bank account, but also in the life of your neighbor, a local shelter, a struggling family member, or your church. I’ve come to realize that if we don’t take purposeful steps to live out what we believe and are called to do, it won’t happen. A lifestyle of giving supported by using coupons enables us to live out the passion of influencing our world.

How many of you have wanted to do something for someone else but were never in the financial position to do so? Something as simple as a coupon can be the tool you use to invest in someone in need. Not only can you make a difference in the lives of others, you can also teach valuable lessons to your family and friends. Remember Jamie’s story? She used her skills to help a friend in a way she never thought would be possible. Now I’ll teach you how to pass on to your children, friends, or loved ones the legacy of:

• Giving to those you come in contact with.
• Appreciating what we do have and are now able to get.
• Being thankful that even in need we are still very blessed.
• Valuing delayed gratification.
• Saving big so you can give bigger.
• Instilling the virtues of empathy, selflessness, and kindness toward others.
• Empowering entire families to work together as a team.

The most interesting thing about this journey is that we all start from the same place. We start from a place of need—financial need to be specific. A place where we know we need help and we are willing to try anything to get it. Like couponing!

Even if you aren’t facing a financial crisis, you probably know someone who is or someone who has. If you have managed to come through this time of job loss and uncertainty unscathed, this chapter is still for you. You may have the best job, a fully funded retirement account, cars with that lovely new smell, and a vacation home in Hawaii . . . yet it feels as if something is still missing in your life. And that something is the pleasure of giving a gift. The journey that helped me to find this missing piece nearly broke me, but it’s one that I want to share with you.

We’ve been spending quite a bit of time together over these pages, just chatting over coffee and coupons. I feel like we’re friends, and I want to ask you something. When you think of my story, what comes to mind? I’d venture that most of you would say, “You have made it to the other side. You faced financial devastation, learned to coupon, and are now using those skills to help others.” I’m telling you, I can almost hear the violins humming in the background to the tune of “It’s a Wonderful Couponing World,” and it’s a pretty nice place to be.

In fact, it’s not just about what happened, it’s about what is happening even now. As I am finishing up this book, God is calling me back to an all-too-familiar place. My husband is a pharmaceutical rep and his main drug just went generic. We woke this morning anxiously awaiting the call from corporate to find out if his job would be eliminated. The last time we waited on the same kind of phone call, it was the day after my father’s funeral a little over three years ago. My heart screams with doubt, We’ve already been through this twice in the last eight years. And now again? You have got to be kidding me.

At the same time, I hear God gently whisper in my spirit, “Remember where I’ve brought you from. I did not forsake you then and I won’t now.” I know he is calling me to take his hand and trust his heart. To trust in his promises more than in the security of a job.

The phone call came and went. It wasn’t the answer I had hoped for. It wasn’t the answer that I wanted. I’m back in the place where I started couponing. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future.

But the journey to get to this place was anything but fun.

It’s not something I choose to focus on as God has been faithful to redeem my life and lead me into the light of a new day. He walks with me each day, supporting me when I struggle and even carrying me completely in those moments when I still feel as if I might shatter. During those times it is important that I remind myself of just how far God has brought me. I tell you from the bottom of my heart, I have walked through the fire, and I mean it. I’m not being dramatic, not trying to add interest or intrigue to my story; I’m just sharing the truth.

Five years ago I faced a reality that shook me to my core. My family had two spec houses that sat empty for over two years. This meant that each month we faced three mortgages and three sets of bills and upkeep.

Then, my father, one of the true lights of my life, was diagnosed with incurable brain cancer and there was nothing I could do to help him. Nothing I could do to stop the pain and nothing that would shield me from watching this once vibrant man become helpless, unable to walk, unable to sit, unable to even turn over in his own bed.

I was blessed to be with my father as he took his last breath and was ushered into the presence of the Lord God Almighty. I held that moment with me as I struggled through the next few days, facing the necessities that go hand in hand with death and marking my days one hour, one minute at a time.

Everywhere I turned I faced nothing but pain, heartbreak, devastation, and despair. It was the darkest season of my life. I felt as if I would never walk in the light again. How could I survive this? Only by the grace of God. If not for that grace, this book would never have been written. And if it were, it wouldn’t have been by me, because I wanted to die. I thought I was going to die.

My life was in pieces and what remains is a girl who has been humbled to the very core of her soul. I’m not the same person I was that day. I never will be and I never want to be because what remains has been pieced back together in a way that is beautiful. Not outer beauty; that’s subjective, eye of the beholder and all that. I mean the beauty of someone who knows what it feels like to be carried in the arms of God. Not out of want or folly, but out of a desperate and devastating need that flung me into my Savior’s arms.

If it were up to me I would have walked on my own. I’m the girl who can handle life. I hold my head up as I walk through the storm and I face the world on my terms. I don’t cry. At least, I didn’t. Now I think back and wonder, Was I really that strong? Of course not. None of us are, no matter how perfectly our armor fits. I was impressed with myself, but the world was definitely not impressed with me. I remember back in college when a good friend told me, “Kasey, your last name is perfect because you wear your armor well!” My maiden name was Knight.

Today, I’m a hot mess. I cry. I stumble. I fail. And I get back up because I realize that I don’t have to carry myself. I have someone much stronger by my side who is willing to do it for me. Now I know that I don’t have to be anything for anyone. I don’t have to put on a show or dance around like a performing monkey hoping you will like me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want you to like me! I’d love to hang out over some gummy worms and a Diet Coke. But the difference is I am going to be me. Take it or leave it. What you see is what you get—all six-foot tall, unorganized, ADHD, leg-shaking, ants in her pants crazy girl. Yes, I just said I was crazy, but you know that. We’re friends, remember?

Right about now I bet you are wondering what in the heck is going on here. Did someone snag your couponing book and replace the last chapter with something completely different and random? Why does any of this even matter?

It matters because it is where my journey began. I share it because I want you to understand my starting point before we talk about what happened next. More than that, I need you to understand that this book, my whole life, is a testament to the grace of God. He took this simple country girl and turned her life upside down, inside out, and around. He moved me from emptiness to abundance, from misery and despair to contentment and expectancy. How? Partially with coupons.

Yep, those itty-bitty slips of nothing that beep at the grocery checkout when you buy toilet paper are the very thing God has used to perform miracles in my life and in the lives of hundreds of others. I am amused and amazed at the same time when I think about how creative God is. Coupons? Seriously, never in a million years would I have guessed that God would reach deep into that particular pit.

Remember my ketchup story? I know I bring it up a lot, but that moment marked a true turning point in my life. I didn’t recognize this turning point when I went every day and bought another bottle of ketchup. I was just excited.

And (okay, I’ll admit it!) there is that fun little part of me that loves to shop. When you have no money you can’t go shopping. Ketchup became my shopping fix. I know, I know . . . it isn’t a cute outfit, but at the time it really did make me feel like I was getting to splurge a little. Don’t laugh—there will come a day when you find yourself skipping out of the grocery store, receipt in hand as you struggle not to shout to the heavens about how much you just saved.

At some point over the next couple of weeks I remember thinking to myself that if I got ketchup for $0.16, salsa for $0.36, toothpaste for free, and canned veggies for nothing, then why couldn’t I start sharing this blessing with others? My income had not changed. We still had three mortgages and my husband was still unemployed, but my pantry had started to overflow and our bank account had stopped leaking money.

From that day forward I started looking at my grocery list a bit differently. Now it wasn’t just about my family. Now it was about what I could do to help someone else. Each time I sat down to make out my list I would look at every item with a new purpose. Is this something I could donate? Is it something that would be helpful to someone else? I started buying things just to give them away. Here I was smack in the middle of the most challenging financial situation of my life and I was able to give more than ever before. And not the old dusty can of rutabagas lurking in the back of my pantry that may or may not be older than my children. (Right about now I can hear about 90 percent of you saying, “What’s a rutabaga?” It’s a vegetable. My grandmother used to cook it all the time fresh out of her garden. Super yummy, I promise!) It may sound awful, but I can remember standing in front of my pantry trying to decide which canned food I liked the least because that was going to be my donation item. I know—terrible, but true. I’m just being real here.

Today giving has become an integral part of my family’s lifestyle. It’s exciting and we look forward to it. It’s fun to donate! Icing, cake mixes, pickles, party mix, oatmeal, canned veggies, juice, bottled water, toothpaste, candles, shampoo, makeup, body wash—I could keep going on here, but for the sake of my own attention span I think you get the picture. Grocery shopping used to be something I dreaded. What was there to look forward to? I’d walk out of the store irritated by how much money I’d spent for so few items and knowing I’d be back soon to repeat the cycle. Sounds miserable, doesn’t it?

Once the veil was lifted I began to see opportunities to give all around me. It was during this time that my focus started to change. Instead of focusing on my own situation, I began thinking about how I could reach out to others. It all started with simple questions. It seemed like every time I walked into the store someone would stop me and ask, “What are you doing?” or “How are you doing this?” They would tell me how they had just lost their job or how they were trying to care for an entire family on a single income.

I remember one night in particular when a lady stopped me. She was shopping with her elderly mother and was extremely curious about what I was doing and how this whole coupon thing worked. We started talking and she shared how her husband had lost his job, her own pay had just been cut in half, and her daughter and son-in-law had been forced to move in with her after they lost their jobs, home, and car. Now she was the primary breadwinner for this large family.

As we walked around the grocery store together, I showed her sale items, shared my coupons, and soaked up her excitement. Then, when we finally made it to the checkout counter, she was able to save over $115 on her groceries that night. It was absolutely precious to see how excited they were to watch their grocery bill drop a bit each time a coupon was scanned. They had purchased more food than they were normally able to and had paid considerably less for it. They were so happy, and yet I was the one who was truly blessed that night. I had been given the privilege of helping this family and it was so wonderfully humbling.

That night was not a coincidence. It was what I like to call a “God-incidence.” I am a firm believer that I will reap what I sow. I’m not going to plant bananas and then grow oranges. The law of the harvest never changes. I believe that if I plant kindness, goodness, empathy, and generosity, I will reap the same in my own life.

I didn’t do anything special that night except share what had brought hope to my family’s finances, but it shows why I am so passionate about couponing. I know what it’s like to feel defeated. I also know what it feels like to hope. And that is what coupons are to me. They’re hope. They have the power to open doors of opportunity in ways you never thought possible.

What Does Giving Look Like?

Giving can be anything you want it to be for your family because there is no right or wrong way to give. The reality is that no matter how you choose to give it is an act that has the power to bless you in amazing ways. I’ve heard testimonies of families who feel closer and marriages that have grown stronger. Today you have the power to create a new legacy for your family. One of new traditions, new opportunities to spend time together as a family, and a new focus on helping others.

To get you started, here are a couple examples of places that always need help.

What goes where?

Grocery, personal care items, and household items: food banks, homeless shelters, battered women’s shelters, local church food pantry, Salvation Army, United Way

Pet food: animal shelters, churches

School supplies: schools, day cares, Salvation Army, churches

Baby items: teen pregnancy centers, food banks, homeless shelters, battered women’s shelters, churches, Salvation Army, United Way

Who can you help?

Homeless people: make baggies of personal care items such as toothbrush, toothpaste, nonperishable food like snack crackers, lip balm, shampoo, and so forth to keep in your car. When you see someone in need you are prepared.

Adopt a US soldier: Gatorade, Crystal Light Singles, beef jerky, beef sausage (very popular), candy, canned meats, chocolate (they don’t care if it’s melted), cookies, gum, mints, aspirin, cough drops, dental floss, disposable razors, Kleenex, Neosporin, mouthwash (without alcohol), lip balm, batteries, pens, your local newspapers/comics (great way to recycle all those extra newspapers)

Natural disaster victims: water, personal hygiene items, baby wipes, diapers, nonperishable food items, feminine products, toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning supplies, pet food, cough drops

We’ve also collected groceries at home and waited until we heard of a specific need. I’ve given bags of groceries to complete strangers.

I’d like to share a story with you now, one that has stayed with me for several years and touched me to the core. Watching the news one day I learned that a local family lost their teenage son in a car accident. As it turned out, just one short week earlier the mother of this child had attended a couponing workshop, a fact I never would have known had a relative not reached out. Although I didn’t teach that workshop, as soon as I heard about this tragedy my heart ached for this precious family.

Over the next few weeks I developed a relationship with the mother through email. We had never met, and I have never been forced to walk in her shoes, but I understand grief. I also understand what it feels like to lose someone you love and have the grief wash over you in never-ending waves. One after another, people try to lift your spirits, yet at the same time they say things that create great expectations. How are you doing? Such a simple question but one that feels so loaded when you are overwhelmed with grief. It’s as though they think you should be better by now.

Since I understood not to ask these kinds of questions or make these kinds of comments, the two of us were able to be real with each other without unrealistic expectations. I remember telling her if she wanted to call me and scream her head off or cry or get angry she could. Whatever she wanted, her pain was safe with me.

Then, a month or so later I received a phone call from an individual who wanted to act as a secret Santa for this family. This person offered to send me a check for $500 and wanted me to shop for them. I jumped at the chance. Not only would I have a chance to help the woman who had become my friend, but I would also finally get to meet her family.

When I took the groceries to their house I was scared. I didn’t know what to expect. I couldn’t even begin to measure the grief they were experiencing. All I had to offer was groceries, and it felt like I was carting a single bucket of water to a whale that lay beached on the sand. Yes, it needs the water to live, but what good does one bucket do?

Imagine my surprise when we pulled into the driveway and were treated like old friends. It felt like we had known each other forever, although until that night our only contact had been through email. They invited us into their home as we all carried the bags inside.

I watched with tears as these parents who had just lost their son opened bag after bag of groceries and excitedly told me how everything I bought was their favorite. “How did you know?” they asked me. I didn’t. What I did know, however, was what God told me in that moment: This is what it looks like to be my hands and feet. And this is what it looks like to minister to hurting souls; I always feed my sheep first.

I stood back in wonder because I couldn’t believe they were smiling, that something as simple as a bag of groceries could make them feel cared for. But it’s a basic need. No matter what we are going through we still have to eat. From that moment I realized how powerful giving could be.

Deep, Deep Down in Their Hearts

Another facet of giving that is important to me is that I want it to be a legacy I offer to my children. If I am waiting for this world to teach my children to give, then I am setting myself up for a huge disappointment. I want to instill in them the virtues of empathy, selflessness, and kindness toward others that I learned from my daddy.

Through coupons they have experienced delayed gratification, a rarity in our society. They realize that just because we come home from the store one week without Teddy Grahams, it doesn’t mean that Mommy doesn’t love them. I will be happy to buy them Teddy Grahams once they are on sale and I have a coupon for them. So far this practice hasn’t scarred them for life and DCS has not come knocking at my door. Instead my kids know that their favorite treats will eventually arrive in the pantry and they look forward to picking out items to donate each time we go to the grocery store. It’s not always big, but it’s something.

The first thing I noticed was that my children began to talk about giving. They wanted to know what we were buying to donate and they started asking about the people these items would go to. They started to look beyond themselves and consider the needs of others. I’ve watched their hearts become tender to those less fortunate and have seen a lifestyle of purposeful giving take root and grow.

Want to know something that will fill your heart and rip it out at the same time? Watching your child reach deep into their own piggy bank to give. It’s one thing to pick out donation items when Mommy is footing the bill. It’s something entirely different when you can see this transformation take root and spill over into every area of their lives.

My sweet daughter is especially sensitive to the needs of others. A dear friend of mine has endured a very difficult season in her life. Her young son was diagnosed with brain cancer several years ago. After surgery, chemo, and radiation he is cancer free and has been for several years. Morgan, my daughter, was only five when I told her about my friend’s son and that we needed to make sure to include him in our prayers. We had a postcard with his picture tacked up on the fridge as a constant reminder.

Keep in mind that Morgan had never met or even talked to this boy, yet several years ago she sat down, drew him a picture, filled the envelope full of change, and asked if I would send it to him. All on her own and all without a single word from me. More recently this child lost the hearing in one of his ears and I told my kids again that he needed our prayers. Again, Morgan, following her sweet little heart, drew a picture of him sitting in the palm of Jesus’s hand. She had just received a crisp new twenty-dollar bill from her grandparents in the mail that day. Before we knew what she was doing she slipped her money into the letter she was sending to my friend’s son. She told me, “Mommy, I like to get toys and buy stuff, but that good feeling goes away really fast. Then my new toy isn’t so new anymore and it’s not fun. When I give, that good feeling in my heart doesn’t go away. It feels so much better.”

My child has developed a heart of giving and I couldn’t feel more blessed. Both of my children have become cheerful givers at the ages of six and nine, and they have learned the truth in God’s Word that it is better to give than to receive. As a result I have seen that principle spill over into their relationship with each other. Instead of always arguing over wanting to play with the same toy, sometimes they argue because each of them wants the other to go first. I’ve watched my six-year-old son, Caleb, become more aware of those in need. I see him watching his sister’s lead. How it must make God’s heart swell with joy when we reach out to our brothers and sisters in Christ!

My daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes two months after she turned three. Although I would take it away from her in a minute if I could, I am thankful that diabetes is manageable. No, it’s not fun for her to have to check her blood sugar ten times a day, wear an insulin pump, or count the carbs in every bite of food that she eats. Nonetheless, there is a reason. I once heard a message that I have carried with me the past couple of years. If God could do what he wanted to in my life any other way than what I am currently facing, he would have. If I’m going through it, he has a plan and a purpose. This is the perspective I choose to live by.

There are times when Caleb has to make sacrifices for Morgan because of her diabetes. If we need to treat low blood sugar, she needs a juice box immediately. Just in case she gets low, I have to make sure we always have some on hand in her room, my purse, the car, and her backpack. There are times when we don’t have an extra juice box to give Caleb and have to tell him no. Years ago a huge fit would follow that response. But now Caleb always wants to make sure that Morgan has been taken care of before he even asks for juice for himself.

I know he’s only six; however, he could easily internalize his not getting juice as us favoring his sister over him. Instead, he has developed compassion for her. Instead of just looking at his want, he has recently become very sensitive to her health. Morgan is also allergic to nuts. Caleb has taken it upon himself to be the “nut police.” At home, church, homeschool group, and elsewhere he’s always looking out for her, making sure that there are no nuts anywhere nearby. I see that his little heart has changed from thinking “I want my juice now!” to “If there is any left when Sissy feels better, can I have some?”

Are my children perfect? Well yes, of course they are! Totally kidding; of course not. They still get in trouble, pitch a fit from time to time, and will totally forget anything that resembles giving to one another. I tell you this because I want you to understand that I don’t have strange robot children. The difference I see is in their hearts. God has used our family’s mission of giving to shape their hearts to be more like him. In all humility, most of the time I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.

Beyond my own family, there are thousands of people who have taken this exact message you have in your hands right now and made it their family’s mission. According to God’s rules of seedtime and harvest, there will be a harvest in your own family from the seeds that you plant in the lives of others. It doesn’t stop there. It’s a beautiful gift that goes from your heart into someone else’s hand, then from their hand into their hearts. Then, the person who was once in need begins to see their life transform. As a result, they begin to water that seed you planted. Before you know it, they begin to stock their food pantry and purchase items for families in need.

We ended chapter 7 talking about my friend Jamie, who so unselfishly invested in the life of her needy friend each week. Do you know what that friend is doing now? Jamie taught her how to coupon, and now she is using the skills she learned to provide for her extended family. Who knows what the harvest of the seed she is planting will be? You may not think your impact makes a difference; the truth is you’ll never know how great your impact is. You’ll never know all the people who were touched by your decision to give. You’ll never know how many lives will be transformed, how many people will ultimately see the hands and feet of Christ touching their lives.

All from a little slip of paper called a coupon. Miracles birthed out of a season of hardship and financial difficulty in your own life. God truly makes all things beautiful in his time. If there is one message I hope you hold on to, it’s this: couponing is not just about getting a deal, it’s about making a difference.

This is my story; God only knows what yours will be. All he needs is a willing vessel. It doesn’t have to be a perfect or strong vessel, just one willing to be poured into. That’s all he asks; all of the other stuff God has covered. Trust me, I’ve lived it. Weak vessels can be influenced and moved by outside forces. Weak vessels have learned to hear their Father’s voice because he is the one who has lifted their lives out of the pit. No matter the pain, no matter the circumstance, God is more than able to transform and give beauty for ashes. This book is a testimony of his faithfulness.

Now it’s your turn. Make a difference, give big, love bigger, and experience the transforming power of God’s hand moving through your life to touch others.

Look to the future.

As we close out this final chapter, I hope that this ending can be a new beginning for you. I challenge you to open your heart to an invitation to give, to bless others with your future abundance. If you are struggling right now, then the most important first step is to focus on digging yourself out of that pit. I’ve been in that lonely, desperate place with you, so I know that is absolutely your first calling. But once you have gained a foothold on solid ground, I ask you to glance around you. Widen your gaze to those who are still struggling daily to somehow get food on the table or scrape together enough for diapers or toiletries. Ask yourself what you can do, then go out and do it. This transformation from needing to providing is one of the most life-changing, empowering experiences you could ever hope to undergo.

May God bless you in this endeavor.

No, this is the kind of fasting I want:

Free those who are wrongly imprisoned;

lighten the burden of those who work for you.

Let the oppressed go free,

and remove the chains that bind people.

Share your food with the hungry,

and give shelter to the homeless.

Give clothes to those who need them,

and do not hide from relatives who need your help.

Then your salvation will come like the dawn,

and your wounds will quickly heal.

Your godliness will lead you forward,

and the glory of the LORD will protect you from behind.

Then when you call, the LORD will answer.

“Yes, I am here,” he will quickly reply.

Remove the heavy yoke of oppression.

Stop pointing your finger and spreading vicious rumors!

Feed the hungry,

and help those in trouble.

Then your light will shine out from the darkness,

and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon.

The LORD will guide you continually,

giving you water when you are dry

and restoring your strength.

You will be like a well-watered garden,

like an ever-flowing spring.

Isaiah 58:6–11