(Overbuying and Stroller Envy)
Just when you think you have EVERYTHING, Junior is born, and you feel like you have NOTHING. I don’t care if you’re Gwyneth Paltrow, with all the money in the world, if you’re a new mom, you’re going to find yourself making many trips to the store. In fact, the cashiers at Target are going to start greeting you by your first name, and you’re going to respond with, “Hey, Sara, how’s it going?”
Within the first month of bringing your baby home, you’re going to realize that everyone at your shower bought you things like baby booties with bows on them instead of the essentials. Let’s face it, your aunts know that no one is going to “Ooh” and “Ahh” over a box of diapers and baby wipes. The shower is their moment to show off. They want to feel proud as everyone watches you hold up the handmade cross-eyed angel with the inscription God Bless This Baby. Which is why, months later, you keep seeing new moms running to the store in panic.
When you find yourself in this situation, you’re going to feel the need to overbuy. Don’t! I’ll tell you why. Your newborn will grow out of things within days. I’m not joking. You’re going to want to buy eleven cases of diapers, but your baby will outgrow them by the time you’ve used the first few boxes. The same goes for onesies. You’ll be stocking up on them constantly because you’re throwing them away like paper towels. Between the poops and the spit-ups, no detergent on earth is strong enough to get them clean.
As you frantically search the aisles, you will face yet another crisis—choosing which brand to buy. It’s so HARD!!! You, like me, will be staring at ten different brands of bottles and other baby items, not really certain which is best. Do you go for the brand that’s on sale? But then you think, “If it’s on sale, does that mean it’s not safe?” No one can tell you which brand is best because all babies are different. You might get lucky, but for the most part, your baby will be the one to dictate the brand you use. After going through five different brands of bottles, I wound up with the cheapest because those were the ones my son responded to. They were the last ones I tried because the bottles were so ugly, with pictures of raccoons and ferrets on them. They almost looked like I got them at a garage sale. But they were the bottles he liked best, so that’s what I stuck with.
After you get a consistent buying pattern for your essentials, you will notice that some of the items you already have—things you bought or received at your shower, like your stroller—don’t work as well as you were hoping. Even worse, you might stroller your baby to the park and notice that everyone else has a prettier baby stroller than you do. Then panic will set in—soon, everywhere you go, all you’ll see are moms pushing their beautiful strollers while yours looks like it’s made of cardboard. This symptom is called stroller envy. It’s inevitable.
Even if you think your stroller is the best money can buy, it’s not. Someone will always have a better stroller than you do. Men show off their cars. Women show off their strollers. Even celebrity moms are guilty of it. They know damn well that pictures are being taken of them with their $5,000 strollers. I’m not exaggerating. I think it’s ridiculous!!
My stroller cost $150, and I used it until the wheels were falling off. I might have been envious of those celebrities, but I’m not stupid. There are plenty of perfectly good strollers out there for a decent price.
So don’t panic, ladies. Just remember to experiment with brands and not to let cute baby commercials make your buying decisions for you. And when stroller envy kicks in, just choose one that works, and don’t worry if you can’t afford the air-conditioned model with the flat-screen TV.