EARLY ONE EVENING, WHILE THE OTHER DISCIPLES WERE BUSY PREPARING FOR THE UPCOMING FEAST OF UNLEAVENED BREAD, Judas fell into a deep and troubled sleep. While he lay motionless on the hard ground, he received a terrifying vision.
In this vision, Judas found himself around a table with the other disciples, sharing an intimate Passover meal with Jesus. At this meal, Jesus spoke solemnly about broken flesh and sacrificial blood while breaking bread and pouring wine. Judas was then transported to the local Jewish temple, where he promised to identify Jesus with a kiss so that the religious authorities could arrest him.
In the blink of an eye, he found himself in the Garden of Gethsemane, embracing Jesus and tenderly kissing him on the cheek. This was followed swiftly by the arrest, trial, torture, and death of his Lord.
Yet the dream did not end there; instead Judas went on to experience his own sorrow and remorse at this act of betrayal and see firsthand his own harrowing suicide. As if this were not enough, he then found himself in a courtroom with disciples through the ages condemning his actions and pouring out insults.
Yet in this vision he went on to witness the Resurrection and the Ascension of his Beloved. He saw the spread of Jesus’ message across the entire world, its victory over the forces of Rome and the way in which it would transform the lives of countless millions. When Judas awoke in a cold sweat from this nightmare, he recalled a teaching that had recently been given by Jesus. Only yesterday Jesus had addressed his disciples, saying, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life” (John 12:23–25).
As Judas reflected again on these words and on the vision he had just experienced, he felt a profound sadness well up within his heart, for he finally knew why he had been called. He knew what needed to be done. He understood now what his destiny was.
In this story a fictitious scenario is created that casts the betrayal of Judas in an entirely different light. Here we are led to conceive of Judas as one of the most courageous figures in the Bible, as one who betrayed Christ, not because of a love for money or because he had been overpowered by some demonic influence, but rather because he knew what would result from that betrayal.
While this is a fictitious narrative, the idea of playing with the story in this way is encouraged by the biblical text itself. The various conflicting references to Judas invite us to imagine and explore different motives for his behavior (something I explore in my book The Fidelity of Betrayal). The various accounts found in the Gospels cause us to ask whether Judas betrayed Jesus (handing him over for money), whether Jesus betrayed Judas (employing him as a disposable pawn in a divine strategy), or whether Judas and Jesus worked together (planning in advance what was to take place).
This latter possibility is suggested most strongly in the Gospel of Mark, when a woman approaches Jesus and pours expensive perfume over his body. When the disciples question the appropriateness of this act, Jesus responds by pointing out that she is doing it to prepare his body for burial. At this moment, Judas leaves the room and meets with the religious authorities. What we are left wondering is how the woman knew to pour the perfume over his body, why Jesus knew that she was preparing his body for burial, and why this ritual acted as the sign for Judas to approach the religious authorities. One is left asking whether these three people had met up previously and carefully planned what would take place.
By understanding the complexity of the betrayal, we are led to consider whether certain acts that might appear to be fundamentally against God could actually be gestures of fidelity to God.