K elly showed up the next morning with clothes. “Time to spring you. I bet you’re ready to get out of here, right?” He helped me into the clothes, frowning at how big they were on me. “You’re too thin. You need to promise to eat, okay? It’s not healthy for you to be this thin. The doctors were even talking about keeping you longer until you’re at a healthy weight, but Jamie convinced them you’d do better at home with us.”
There was that word again. Home. I didn’t have one.
Jamie appeared in the doorway, dressed and smiling. He had a brand-new coat for me. His looked a little too big for him. He’d probably lost weight too. “Ready to go?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I whispered.
The nurses insisted I leave in a wheelchair, so Jamie steered me down and out the door to where his car was parked in the drop-off area. He scooped me up and deposited me in the backseat, buckled me in, and covered me in blankets. Did he know that the chill from the days on the run had never completely left my bones? I could almost feel the wind howling through me.
Jamie got in back beside me and took my hand to hold it in both of his. Kelly took the wheel and I stared at my brother. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as the car pulled away from the curb. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know.” Jamie lifted my hand and rubbed it between his. “I never once blamed you. You have to know that. No one blames you, Sei. Matthew made you do those things. But you’re safe now. We both are.”
I nodded and had to look away. He might not blame me, but I still blamed myself. Maybe if I’d been stronger.
“I had a few of my friends bring your stuff up to my place, Sei. Just for a few days, until you’re feeling better,” Jamie told me. We were headed toward Gabe’s building. Though I suppose it was Jamie’s building now too. I pressed myself into the door, not really wanting to touch him. I’d just hurt him again. My touch seemed to be lethal to others.
“Can we go see Gabe tonight?” I asked them. It was dark and cold. So cold where he was. I could warm him for a while, couldn’t I?
“The barn burned down, Sei. It’s a crime scene. It’s not safe,” Kelly told me, glancing back in the rearview mirror. “And you really don’t need to relive those memories.”
“He wasn’t in the barn. I buried him far away from it.” I wondered if I could find it again in human form. But I knew the Earth would help me find it. I’d never felt the power so strongly or clearly in me as I did now. Gabe was distant, but the ground spoke that he was safe, protected, even the cold wouldn’t harm him.
“What do you mean?” Jamie asked. “Wasn’t he in the barn?”
“He was, but Sam helped me get him out. I wouldn’t leave him. I wanted to stay with him and die. But Sam wouldn’t let me. So he dragged us both out.”
“Sam who?”
“Sam Mueller from my Curses class. He was helping Matthew.” Did he survive? He’d gone back in just before it exploded. Maybe everyone but Gabe had made it. If Andrew Roman was alive, I was going to insist on a Dominion trial. And the Tri-Mega had to know about Matthew.
“There were no human remains, but vampires burn so hot, there wasn’t much left of anything,” Jamie said, tone mild but forlorn.
Kelly pulled into the lot, parking below ground in the warm garage. “We thought it was Gabe in the barn. We were waiting for you to make funeral arrangements. Scatter the ashes or something.”
“He didn’t burn. I put a knife through his heart. He died. His eyes looked like Brock’s had, cloudy. He said he loved me. I didn’t get to tell him I loved him ’cause Matthew commanded me not to talk. But I dragged Gabe away. Wouldn’t let Sam take me away from him. I dug a hole and put him in it before the sun came up. The Earth helped. I feel him in the Earth. It will protect him until we get there. It keeps him safe for me so I can visit him. He’s cold, but I can make him warm. At least for a little while.”
Love you. I sighed with relief at the voice in my head. Love you too , I told him.
Maybe we could give him someplace nice. Someplace close. A pretty headstone or a nice plaque. Vampires couldn’t be buried in normal cemeteries. They weren’t normally buried at all, though I couldn’t remember why. But there had to be a place that would be willing to take him. Someplace I could visit a lot.
Neither one of them tried to get out of the car even though we were parked. I stared at Jamie, who stared back at me in bewilderment.
“Do you have a shovel?” Kelly asked Jamie.
“No, but the hardware store is five minutes away,” Jamie replied.
“It’s not dark yet. He has to stay safe.” Not until the sun set could I see him. I could find him in the dark. I was sure of it. Maybe I’d change and just live my life as a lynx, visiting him in the forest, protecting him.
“We’ll keep him safe, Sei. I promise. Can you show us where he is?”
“Yes. If we go there, can I stay with him? Will you let me stay with him?”
Jamie squeezed my hand. “You can stay with Gabe.”
“Promise?”
His smile was a little teary. “Yes.”
Kelly restarted the car, and after a quick trip to the hardware store, we were headed north. The snow grew thicker as we traveled. The icy wind whipping at the windows was familiar enough, and my hands began to ache in memory. I gave them a few general directions, and we left the actual road for one of those farm side roads with nothing but icy gravel covering it.
“I thought maybe a ski trip would be a good vacation spot. A big lodge with a fireplace and a Jacuzzi since Sei hates the cold. Maybe some place we can do some baby hills or even some ice skating,” Kelly said to Jamie.
“He’s never been a fan of cold weather. You’ll be lucky to pull him away from the fireplace and whatever romance novel he’s latched on to.” Jamie kept rubbing my hand, the warmth going through the bandages to my very soul. It shouldn’t have felt good since my hands hurt so damn much, but it did.
The wind blew pretty hard and I had to close my eyes as it swirled around Gabe’s spot in the distance. It was hard to focus on the world around me. I just wanted to bond with the Earth, but Kelly’s rambling kept bringing me back. Gabe was getting closer and I needed to be with him so much. Jamie promised I could stay with him.
Never leave you.
“You never said how you found him, Kelly,” Jamie brought up.
“I heard about the fire on a police radio. I’d been sitting at the station for ages, waiting for word after you were shot. So I got in my car and headed for the fire. When Sei wasn’t found, I stayed in the area, camping in my car. I tried to read the snow for any sign of him. But snow’s really not all that receptive.”
“Read the snow?”
“It’s just frozen water. I hoped it would tell me when he passed, but the glimpses were so brief I couldn’t keep up. It wasn’t until I felt him displace water from a creek that I finally had a general area. But I was homed in to that area anyway, trying to feel the snow.” He blushed. “My mom told me how to do it.”
“Wow,” Jamie said. “That’s a pretty impressive ability.”
“When I caught that glimpse, I called the police, hoping their dogs could help find him before he froze to death. Thirty below isn’t safe for anything. Not even a lynx. It’s good that he found his way to that house. It was so far I don’t know how he ever made it, a good thirty or so miles from the barn. He must have been in that horrible cold for days. I wish I had found him sooner.”
“I heard the police talk about how you kept them back until you could calm him down.” Jamie adjusted the blankets around me and shifted closer, even when I tried to pull away.
“I’ve watched Gabe do it a time or two. And I know how I feel when coming back from a shift. Sometimes you go so far it’s hard to come back. The Dominion is halfway right. Some people shouldn’t change. The rest of us just can’t help it.” He looked in the mirror again. “You okay, Seiran?”
“Fine,” I mumbled, staring out at the trees that were starting to rise around us. We wouldn’t be able to drive much farther. The Earth wanted me to come and play, but I had to see Gabe first.
“I don’t think he’s all there yet,” Kelly told Jamie.
“Why?”
“Seiran, do you remember Metaphysics 101?”
I blinked at him. “Huh?”
“Where’s your book reader?”
What was a book reader? I just gave him a blank look.
Jamie’s sigh was heavy. “I see what you mean.”
The car pulled to a stop at some heavy woods. A tree stood in our path. I could have asked it to move, but it had been there longer than I had lived and liked its place, so I let it go and climbed out of the car. If I shifted it would be faster, but Jamie held my hand firmly. He tugged a hat down over my head and wrapped a scarf around my neck.
“Try not to breathe too much of the cold out here. Breathe through the scarf, okay? Your lungs are pretty hurt. You gotta heal for Gabe, okay? He would want you to be careful.”
Stay safe. Love you.
I nodded. For Gabe I pulled the fabric up over my nose. I’m coming for you , I told the Gabe voice in my head. We would be together soon.
Soon.
“At least it’s in the twenties rather than negative,” Kelly said and opened the trunk to pull out the shovel he’d bought at the hardware store. “I realize I will probably be doing all the shoveling, but if you can help carry something, that would be nice.”
Jamie took the shovel from him, and they stacked up a bag of things that looked like glittery packages and maybe a large tarp. I leaned against a tree feeling calm, but Gabe’s voice was almost as insistent in my head as the Earth was. I needed to see him.
“Sei shouldn’t be eating any of this stuff,” Jamie protested.
“He’ll need to eat. He hasn’t been.” Kelly stared at Jamie for a long minute. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yes. Let’s get moving. It will be dark soon.”
“Gabe’s only safe in the dark,” I told them.
“Yep. We’ll keep him safe.” Kelly grabbed my hand, and we walked into the heavy cover of the woods. It was hard not to get distracted by all the life here. The trees were sleepy from the cold and snow, but they felt me, welcomed the power that ran through me. Little things came down from the trees, watching us curiously. We kept moving even as the sun set.
“I feel like there are eyes on me,” Kelly said.
“The forest feels us.” Jamie patted the trunk of a large tree. A squirrel chattered at him from a branch above. “The Earth is alive here because Sei is the epicenter of its power. It’s almost like it’s the new moon.”
“We’re only at a quarter.”
An owl hooted at us from above. I settled into the comforting sound and picked my way toward the pulsing beat that was Gabe.
Miss you. Soon.
Yes. I needed Gabe like now.
Jamie held a bright light in front of us, though I couldn’t remember what it was called. I finally let the glowing distract me when it worried me that it would be too bright for Gabe when we found him.
“You should put out the light,” I told Jamie. “It will hurt Gabe.”
“It’s fake light, Seiran. A halogen flashlight. It can’t hurt Gabe.” He watched me move away from the light, then sighed and flicked it off. “My night vision sucks.”
“I hope we can find our way back,” Kelly said.
“I have GPS on my phone. We’re fine.” Jamie shoved the flashlight in his bag and shifted the weight of the shovel he was carrying. “Where’s Gabe, Sei? Is he close?”
Close.
A tree nearby welcomed me. It remembered when I wandered by before, my tears watering its roots. I let the throbbing of the Earth lead me to him. He was part of the ground, but not meant to stay in it. We passed the creek and kept moving north until I saw the spot that I’d lain in, grieving him. Snow had blown partially over it, but I reached down and felt him there, safe.
Here. Love you.
I sighed and lay my head over where his was. Gabe, I love you , I told him.
“He’s here?” Jamie asked. He pulled me to my feet. “You’ll freeze. Come sit over here while we get him out.”
“Out?” I glanced up at the sky. “Safe? We will take him with us?”
“Yes, of course. I told you you could stay with him, but he’s coming with us.” Jamie pulled a blanket out of his backpack and wrapped me up in it. “Just sit here for a bit and let us work. Okay?”
I patted the ground. Come with us? I asked the Gabe voice in my head.
Go wherever you are. Stay forever.
Kelly took the shovel from him and began digging carefully around the edge, pushing away the snow. “The ground is frozen.”
“He’s safe here,” I told them. The towering trees and heavy soil protected him.
“He is safe here, but we can’t leave him here, Seiran.”
He was there, in my head, as he’d been since the barn exploded over a week ago. The gauze on my hands wouldn’t let me get a full grip of him being there. I tugged at the wrappings.
“No.” Jamie grabbed my hands and held them against me. “Leave the bandages on, Sei. You don’t want to go back to the hospital, do you?”
“But Gabe’s under there.”
“I know. It’s okay. We’ll get him out.” Jamie shuffled us to the side of the makeshift grave. Kelly continued to pick away at it, breathing hard and trying to break up the hard earth. “Let me try something.” Jamie motioned Kelly away. “I may not be earth Pillar, but I’ve got some power.”
Kelly stepped back.
Jamie put his hands to the ground, and the earth moved through him. The power of it ruffled through the sand, loosening the dirt.
“Holy shit! I see clothes or something. Keep going!” Kelly encouraged Jamie.
I watched Jamie flounder to keep pressing the power of the Earth toward Gabe’s body. He was running out of strength, while it just ran through me like a never-ending current. I pressed my cheek to his, hugging him and in doing so, plugging him into the channel of earth power.
He froze in my arms but kept his hands pressed to the earth. The power rolled through both of us. The ground continued to move until it pushed Gabe free from the confines of its dark embrace. He looked so peaceful, though blood made his shirt look brown. He was still so beautiful even in death.
You’re beautiful. But I wasn’t. Not with my short hair, red puffy eyes, and runny nose.
Jamie let go of the power. It snapped back to me and resumed the comfortable roll through me and back into the Earth. Both Jamie and Kelly began brushing dirt off Gabe. I watched, wishing I could feel his lips again, maybe even watch them say “I love you” again.
Kelly pulled the stained shirt back and laughed. “I knew it!”
I looked at my friend, certain he’d gone crazy. Though I imagined digging up bodies in the dark could do that to anyone. Kelly shoved the damaged shirt out of the way, and despite the caked dirt and blood, Gabe looked unharmed, skin unmarred. But I remembered the bone breaking, lung bursting, heart stopping. His blood had warmed my hands even as his life has fled.
“Who’s going to open a vein?” Kelly asked.
“I’ll do it.” Jamie dug a pocketknife out.
“You’re still not fully healed. I should do it,” Kelly protested.
“You have to drive us back.”
“I bought QuickLife at the hardware store.”
“It won’t be enough. He’ll need the real thing. Save the QuickLife for when we get him in the car, and pray he doesn’t eat us all,” Jamie said.
I leaned over Gabe and stared at his pretty face. Even in death some people are beautiful. That was probably why many found vampires so attractive.
The smell of blood hit me, and I jerked back. Kelly put his arms around me, holding me close as Jamie brought his bleeding arm to Gabe’s lips. For a while none of us moved. I searched Gabe’s face for signs of life.
“The cut was shallow, and the cold is stopping it. I’ll have to do it again,” Jamie muttered in the dark, sounding frustrated.
“Gabe’s dead,” I told them. “I killed him.”
Sleeping.
“He was already dead, Seiran. He’s a vampire, remember?” Kelly tried to remind me. “Reborn from earth and blood.”
I looked down at Gabe. Was he still in there? I felt him in my head. Maybe that wasn’t all wishful thinking. I shoved Jamie away and lay down on Gabe, pressing my lips to his. They were warm with Jamie’s blood, but that didn’t matter. Gabe lay beneath me so still and unalive I wanted to weep. He needed blood? I’d give him every last drop of mine if it would only bring him back to me.
I forced his lips apart with my tongue and dipped it inside to seek out his sharpened canines. A quick stab of pain and my blood trickled from the wound into his mouth. I prayed for him to take whatever he needed.
Gabe shifted beneath me. For a minute I thought the ground was trying to steal him back. But his arms wrapped around me, mouth feeding at mine in a deep kiss that shared more than just the blood. He was alive! Was this a dream? Was he really there? It didn’t matter that the cold whipped around us or that the night had fallen silent.
His kiss fell away and he sucked in a deep breath, muttering a faint apology before his fangs found my throat. The bite went right to my cock, making me hard. He was everywhere. Inside my head, grinding into my body—and I just wanted to crawl inside him if I could. I clung to him, slightly numb and disbelieving. If this were a dream, I hoped it lasted forever. It didn’t matter when my vision began to fade or when darkness finally yanked me down to dream for real. Gabe was with me just like he promised.