The trip back to Elysium City was quiet. Though I’d spent much of the past few sols asleep, I slept on the ride home too, lulled by the hum of the flight-limo engine and the growing darkness as night fell.
I woke to the sensation of being carried and the noise of fireworks exploding. When I lifted my head, arms tightened around me. I burrowed deeper into a hard chest and a cologne scent I recognized.
“Where are we?”
“We’re home. It’s Witching Time, hence the fireworks.”
“I hate fireworks,” I murmured, pressing my face against his shoulder to block out the brightness.
Alexei chuckled softly. “I know. Just sleep. I’ve got you.”
Which may have been the most reassuring thing I’d ever heard because I knew it was true—whatever happened, he would look after me. How stupid could I be to jeopardize that? Why would I ever want anyone else?
My clothes and shoes were removed before I was tucked into a bed which didn’t really feel or smell like mine. The room was in shadow, lit only by light from the hallway, making it difficult to tell where I was. Still, it felt nice. I had this vague worry that I hadn’t brushed my teeth, and must have said something because I heard more soft laughter.
“I think you’ll be fine if you skip this one time,” he said, kissing the top of my head before pulling away.
“Stay until I fall back to sleep.”
I felt the bed dip as he slipped in behind me. I rolled over, turning in to him, pressing my face to the curve of his neck and shoulder and tucking my arms so my hands rested on his chest. His arms went around me and brought me flush against him. Then he threw a leg over mine until I was completely surrounded. It wouldn’t be long before I overheated, but for right then, it was perfect. I’d fallen asleep in this position on more than one occasion, and it felt so normal to settle in like this, I sighed.
“Are we okay?” I whispered. “The cards…What you saw…It doesn’t mean anything.”
A beat of silence before he answered. “I’m sorry for yesterday. It scared me to realize anything could come between us. I don’t want to lose this.”
“You won’t.” Then, in Russian, “Ya lyublyu tebya.”
“Were you practicing?” He pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“A little.”
“It was perfect. I love you too.”
Naturally, he was naked as we had this conversation but I was too tired to react as I normally might. Still, I couldn’t help but note his erection pressing insistently against my stomach.
“Can I deal with that in the morning?” I murmured into his skin, my eyes drifting closed.
Again, the soft laughter. “Ignore it. It will go away.”
It didn’t, but I fell asleep anyway. In that moment I knew with certainty I wanted to be with him forever. I would do anything to keep things like this as long as I could, gut feeling be damned.
I woke alone, though that wasn’t surprising. Alexei didn’t need much sleep and was always up hours before me. When I discovered I was in his bed, that wasn’t surprising either. However, what blew me away was opening the closet, asking the AI for a robe from among the few items I kept at Alexei’s, and finding my entire wardrobe on offer. All of it—every single stitch of clothing I owned—was there. What the hell?
I crossed the bedroom with its enormous bed and ornate headboard, oversized furniture, thick carpeting, all done in dark, rich colors that made me feel like I’d wandered into some medieval lord’s sexual playroom—which wasn’t far off the mark. My next stop was the bathroom, which continued the same decorating theme with dark marble floors, heavy gold hardware, a claw-foot tub you could swim in, and the most elaborate, decadent shower I’d ever experienced. I opened a few drawers and found them full of my toiletries. I stared at the contents, wondering how I should feel as I floated simultaneously between surprise, panic, and anger.
Since I was there, I brushed my teeth and washed my face, all the while counting to 100 in my head to avoid a complete and utter meltdown. Once finished, I padded barefoot down the tiled hall, opening doors along the way. When I reached the room at the end near the staircase, I found something worth seeing.
In the center of the room was my card table Eleat. Against one wall, the cabinet where I kept my Tarot decks. Another wall, my desk. All were from my condo, set up and ready to use. The walls were set to the muted lavender color of a sky at sunset I liked so much. There were also a couple of plush chairs, more comfortable than anything I’d had before. Sliding doors led to a balcony with a breathtaking view of the Utopian Ocean. I could even see the space elevator in the distance.
The room was perfect. Too perfect. I had a sinking feeling that if I went through the house—because of course he had a house palatial in size with a sprawling property requiring an army of staff to see to its upkeep—I would find my things scattered throughout, waiting for me.
That…fucker! While we were away, he’d moved everything into his house! I’d only just agreed to live with him and now all my things were there! Gods, he’d probably made arrangements to move me the minute I’d said yes. Never mind if I got cold feet or wanted to do it myself. And maybe I didn’t want to live in his house. Maybe I wanted some place we could pick together, although gods knew I hated moving. As a child, my family was always moving from one place to the next. And it was nice to have a house with a yard where I could go outside rather than a tiny strip of condo balcony that overlooked someone else’s bathroom.
No, I was getting sidetracked. Maybe this was exactly what I wanted and maybe it seemed like he knew me better than I did myself, but he could at least talk to me first. I wasn’t a child for him to coddle. Or was I getting mad for the sake of getting mad? I had agreed to live with him, and this did make things easier, but…
I couldn’t decide whether I was pleased by his thoughtfulness, pissed at his arrogant high-handedness, or terrified because it happened so fast. Or maybe what really bothered me was it seemed too good to be true and I was terrified it would fall apart. As much as I fought it, my gut was pushing me, but it wasn’t in this direction.
“I see you’ve noticed the changes.”
I yelped in surprise as Alexei materialized behind me. I whirled on him, swiping my hair out of my eyes so nothing could get in the way of my furious glare.
“You moved me in while we were in Apolli!” I accused.
“Seems that way,” he agreed, looking from the room back to me, unconcerned.
He held out a mug of coffee that smelled like heaven, and I suspected was made just the way I liked. I took it from him and had a sip. It was perfect. Gods, he was using my need for caffeine to manipulate me. I started counting to 100 in my head again.
He merely gazed down at me, wearing loose pants and a fitted black T-shirt that clearly showed the definition in his shoulders and chest, and left his chiseled biceps bare so I could admire them while he drank from his own mug. I bet I could even touch them if I wanted—which felt like more manipulation. He knew how much I loved running my hands over him and feeling the hard swell of muscle. His black hair was damp and slicked back from his face, just skimming his shoulders. He looked so damn hot, his blue eyes glittering and his expression smug, knowing I liked the coffee and couldn’t come up with a legitimately good reason to argue with what he’d done that didn’t make me sound like a crazy bitch. Worse, I felt like I might spontaneously combust from looking at him, and he probably knew that too.
“I’m really mad at you right now,” I told him between sips of coffee.
“I see that.”
“And we’re going to fight later.”
“Probably,” he agreed.
“And if I’m not happy with where my things are, you’re going to move everything wherever I want it.”
“I have nothing else planned for today except taking care of what you need.”
“Good. I’m glad we sorted that out.” Then I eyed him up and down, because really I just couldn’t help myself. I was starting to feel flushed and turned on as I ogled my own boyfriend.
“Anything else you wanted?”
“Nope. Can’t think of a thing.”
“You’re certain?” The cocky bastard was grinning into his mug.
“Alright, fine,” I groused. “You know I’m dying to get my hands on you.”
He took my coffee and set both our mugs on the desk. “You know I’m always happy to take care of whatever urges you have, whenever you have them.”
Then he grabbed me around the waist, hoisted me over his shoulder, and carried me to the bedroom. My gasp became a shriek when he had the nerve to slap my ass like some damn Neanderthal. A few seconds later, I found myself tossed on a bed with a very large and very aroused Russian on top of me. Needless to say, the furniture didn’t get moved—well, not the furniture I wanted moved. Still by the time we were done, I’d worked out my initial irritation. I decided moving in with him had more benefits than I’d originally anticipated. For now, I could live with that.
I was in my new office, sorting through the endless array of card decks I collected the way other women did knickknacks and tchotchkes, when I felt my bracelet flutter on my wrist. It was late, almost ten in the evening. First glance showed it was a face-chat shim, meaning family. Yup—Celeste’s avatar appeared on the display. I hit the jewels and up popped the face-chat shim.
There was Celeste, looking relieved. “Finally! You are the absolute worst at returning shims.”
“I am not the worst. I’ve just been busy. Hey, Celeste, it’s good to see you,” I answered, settling into one of my new chairs. I propped my wrist on my knee so I wouldn’t have to hold up my arm to see her image.
“You too,” she said, before launching into a one-woman gossip-fest where she proceeded to give me the rundown on everything family.
Unlike most of the Sevigny clan, her shoulder-length hair was blond rather than black or dark brown. Her eyes were hazel, also unusual. Still she looked fantastic at sixty-one thanks to her Renew treatments. That was the one thing I’d always found hypocritical about my family—they were anti-tech, but I couldn’t name a single one who’d skipped a Renew treatment. It made me curious about what else they protested yet indulged in on the down-low.
I also suspected Celeste hadn’t inherited the luck gene since she never talked about gut feelings the way most of us did. She had a pretty good life regardless. Happily married for over thirty years, her son Kacey had turned out well enough—I mean, he had a steady job for the most part, and she got along with everyone. She was vying for the position of matriarch, the same way Granny G had once been the center of the clan. Granny G’s death had left a void we were all trying to fill. Grandmother, Granny G’s daughter and only child, just couldn’t cut it—too cold, too aloof, too positive we should be crawling to her. Even Granny G’s siblings, and she’d come from a family of ten, couldn’t pass muster. Yes, ten—three boys, seven girls—but that was before the Shared Hope program and explained why I had so many third, fourth, and even fifth cousins underfoot.
“You haven’t replied to my invite. I’m saying it’s a picnic potluck, but it’s really an engagement party for Kacey and his fiancée. I need to confirm numbers for registration with the local One Gov bureau,” she said.
“Sorry, but I can’t make it.”
“Everyone will be there! We need your potato salad, and the cards. Didn’t Lotus tell you how important this was? Having you there will be like having Granny G in spirit.”
Oh boy, that was a new angle. “See that’s the thing, Celeste. Sometimes it seems like the only reason I’m there is because of the cards.”
“Well, no one can read them like you and this is for the new couple. We want to know they’ll have a happy future together. Or if it’s bad news, how they can get around it. It’s a family tradition. And you know you’re the only one with Granny G’s potato salad recipe.”
“That’s bullshit. She shimmed it to everyone before she died.”
“But yours has something extra. Everyone knows that,” Celeste wheedled.
I laughed despite myself. “Must be because it’s made with so much damn love.”
“You’re coming then?”
I groaned. If I said no, I’d be dead woman walking to the rest of the family. “I don’t know. It’s just—”
“Lotus says you’re seeing someone. This would be the perfect opportunity to introduce him,” Celeste continued, plowing forward. “Unless you don’t want us to meet him. Are you ashamed of us?”
“Of course not! It’s not like that at all.”
“Is there something wrong with him? Does he come from a bad family? Too hopped up on t-mods? Although I’m not sure that matters. Look at Helena’s boyfriend. He’s a complete tech-head, but he seems nice.”
I rolled my eyes. “That’s because he’s the only one who likes your cabbage casserole. He was so zoned out last time, I don’t think he knew he was eating.”
“It would still be nice for us all to be together. We could meet your mystery man, and there would be less pressure on you with the cards. I’m expecting fifty-eight. You and your boyfriend would make sixty.”
Just the thought of Alexei and my family together had me cringing. They would so not approve of him with his obvious amped-up MH Factor, never mind that he was head of the Tsarist Consortium. They’d probably ask him to invest in at least a dozen half-baked schemes before dinner. Someone that powerful with that much wealth, suspected of being a criminal by half the tri-system—they wouldn’t be able to resist.
“He works a lot. I don’t know if he’d be available.”
“Felicia Sevigny, what would Granny G say about avoiding family?”
“I’m not avoiding family. He’s just busy.”
“How about this: We’ll start slow. You could come for dinner some night, and Hamilton and I could suss him out.”
“You live in a trailer that’s never in the same place for more than a few weeks. We can’t just come over for dinner.”
“Sure you can. Shim me next week and we’ll arrange something.”
“I’m not sure this is a good idea. I mean—”
“Felicia, if family is as important as you claim and this man matters, he needs to meet us. And by bringing him, you’re showing him he means something to you. You may not like it, but that’s how it works.”
Damn it, I hated when people used my own logic against me. “Fine, put me down for two.”
“Wonderful! I can’t wait to see you both!” She made kiss motions in the air. “Gotta go. More people to shim, engagements to plan. Don’t forget the cards. And the potato salad. Love ya!”
She disconnected. I’d been hosed by my family yet again.
I’m not sure how long I sat there bemoaning my fate when I felt strong hands on my shoulders. I jerked in surprise, then relaxed once they began massaging. My shoulders sagged and I leaned into the hands, my head lolling to the side because it felt so good.
“I could get used to this,” I said, pretty sure I had drool on my cheek. “If you ever leave the Consortium, you could do this professionally.”
“Sorry, but there’s only one person I want to touch like this and she keeps me very busy,” Alexei said, his fingers working on a knot in my right shoulder. “I heard part of the conversation. What does your family want?”
I stretched languidly under his hands. “Did you know I make the best potato salad in my family?”
He laughed. “No, I didn’t. You’ve never made it for me.”
“Probably because it annoys me every time I peel a potato. Apparently mine has something special no one else can replicate.”
“Now that sounds like something I’d very much like to try.”
“My family are professionals when it comes to taking advantage of a situation. You could probably learn something from them.” My back arched as he ran his hands down my spine. I could feel my body melting into warm, sticky goo as he touched me. “Then again, you already know enough without their help.”
He laughed again, but softer this time. “What does your family want?” he repeated.
“There’s a thing next weekend, on Saturday.”
“Venusol,” he corrected.
“Right, Venusol,” I said. I would have agreed to anything so long as he kept massaging. “It’s an engagement party for one of my cousins. I forgot about it, plus I was kind of hoping it would go away. I told Celeste we’d go, but you don’t have to. I know you’re busy.”
His hands stilled on my shoulders, their heat seeping into my body, and I felt myself tensing. Logically, I knew mixing Alexei and my family was a bad idea. It would be simpler if I went alone.
Yet if he didn’t go, I had this ridiculous feeling I wouldn’t get over it. I’d never asked him to do anything like this—never really let him see how much I needed him. I hated looking weak and needy. But Celeste was right. Meeting each other’s family was important. It was declaring ourselves a couple in front of everyone who mattered. It was also so completely normal, it freaked me out. Alexei wasn’t normal. He was so far beyond normal, he might not even be human. Knowing that fed my insecurities that said maybe we shouldn’t be together.
“Do you want me to go with you?” he asked, his hands still unmoving on my shoulders.
“Not if you’re busy. I know you don’t have a lot of spare time.”
“Next week will be demanding. It may not be easy to get away, but if you need me, I’ll be there.”
“Why? What’s happening?”
He hesitated and I had the feeling he was struggling to come up with the right words. “The Martian Princess is docking midweek. I’m meeting with several high-ranking Consortium members coming from Earth.”
What? That was news. “You didn’t tell me this before.”
“It isn’t anything you need to worry about.”
Which naturally made it seem like I did need to worry. My gut thought so too. “Is there trouble?”
“I invited them. Our base of operations here is weaker than on Earth. If I want to solidify the Consortium’s hold on Mars, I’ll need their expertise.”
“I thought you only needed Brody.”
“I need him to handle any One Gov concerns. For now, it’s still necessary to work within One Gov’s framework. He’s more skilled at manipulating the AI queenmind.”
“Aren’t you the best at everything?”
He laughed softly. “I am. I just wasn’t made to be a One Gov lackey.”
And because I couldn’t let it go, I asked, “Is this what you’ve been working toward all these months? You’re finally going to implement your big project—whatever it is.”
“Yes, that’s my hope.”
For some reason, a shiver of fear raced down my spine. “Whatever you’re working on, it’s not going to get you arrested, is it?”
There was a long moment of silence, then, “Not if it succeeds.”
I had no response to that. The sheer vagueness in his words told me more than enough.
His hands tightened on my shoulders, which in turn kicked my tension up another notch. “It’s nothing to concern you,” he murmured. “The groundwork has been laid for years. It isn’t going to fail, and I won’t be arrested. Everything will be fine.”
“But there’s no guarantee.”
“Nothing in life comes with guarantees.” The silence stretched, until he asked a second time, “Do you want me to go with you?”
“It sounds like you might have other things to deal with.”
“You know I’m yours, Felicia,” he murmured against my skin as he crouched behind me. “If you want me to go with you, just ask.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the Consortium coming to Mars?”
“Because that’s irrelevant to what’s between us.” He swiveled my chair so I faced him. His kiss caught me off guard, slow and sweet, gently coaxing. “Ask me.”
My hands went to his shoulders, pushing him away. It felt like he was manipulating me with a kiss designed to distract me, and I didn’t like it. “Don’t try to kiss me into not worrying about what’s coming at us next.”
“There’s no need to worry because nothing’s coming at us. I want you to ask me to your family’s engagement party, so ask.”
“Fine. Will you come with me?”
“Yes.”
I should have been thrilled. I wasn’t.
He kissed me again, shifting my body closer to his. His tongue boldly stroked mine, the kiss growing more urgent as he showed me with his mouth what he wanted to do with my body. I could feel myself melting for him, but I was also upset. He was keeping secrets when he knew better. Or so I’d told Brody yesterday. What if I was wrong about that? I broke off the kiss.
“I still have a lot of unpacking to do,” I said, shoving the chair back so I could stand. “I’d better get to it if I want to finish tonight.”
“I thought you were done.” He knelt on the floor, looking up at me.
I turned to my cabinet, deliberately putting my back to him. “Not yet. Plus I’m going back to work tomorrow, so I need to get organized.”
I started piling decks of cards on top of one another, not sure how long I could stack them while he knelt there, watching me. I heard him sigh and get up. “I’ll leave you to it then.”
“Great.” I stacked more decks. “And thanks for agreeing to go to the engagement party. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
I winced at the bitchiness in my tone. That, along with the suspicion, the anger, and if I was being honest, the fear. I wanted to get back at him, I realized. I wanted to get in a dig at him for not telling me about the Consortium and anything else he was keeping from me.
“The Consortium’s arrival doesn’t affect how we feel about each other or our future together,” he said finally.
“Of course it does. You’re moving forward with the Consortium’s plans for Mars and One Gov. It means things will change for the whole tri-system. I understand you wanting to protect me, but you can’t keep me separate from everything else in your life. When does protecting me become lying to me?”
“What do you think will happen with more Consortium on Mars? Do you think it will be a bloody red revolution with casualties in the billions? Or I’ll plunge us all into another Dark Times when One Gov topples?”
I whirled to face him in time to see his expression close down, his blue eyes narrowing. I felt fear rumble through me, cold and unsettling. Was that what I’d always secretly believed? Did I really think he would destroy everything? Or maybe that he would change things so radically, us being together would be even more improbable?
“No, of course not,” I said. “I’ve never thought that. You just shouldn’t keep things from me.”
“Because that’s what I do, isn’t it? Keep secrets and withhold the truth.”
“I didn’t say that. I just want you to be open with me. If we’re in this together, you have to see me as an equal and not someone you need to protect or cage or lie to.”
“Felicia, you know what I am and what I’ve done for the Consortium. I want to be what you need, but I’m not certain either of us knows what that is. If I gave you all the answers you were looking for, would they make you happy? Or would they destroy everything between us so there would be no way to put us back together?”
“Why would you say that? What else aren’t you telling me?”
He ran a hand over his face as if he was tired. “It’s nothing. I’m a fool and…I apologize. I should have told you about the Consortium arriving. Finish unpacking. Just don’t stay up too late. Good night and I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Alexei, what’s going on? Is there something happening with the off-world mines? Or maybe with Phobos and One Gov and the penal colony?”
“Are you looking for conspiracies everywhere now? Do you think there’s an ulterior motive in everything I do?”
Gods, was that how I seemed to him? Hysterical? Suspicious? Crazy? “No. I never…I wouldn’t…I’m sorry,” I said meekly, hanging my head. “I just don’t want you to shut me out.”
“I haven’t. I love you, and that is one thing that is never going to change. But until you stop comparing me to those who’ve betrayed you in the past, you’re setting us up to fail. I’m trying to do this right for you but…” He shook his head as if words were beyond him, then he left.
Instead of going after him, I sank into a chair. The worry and anxiety bubbling up inside me gelled into a crippling fear like nothing I’d ever experienced. Everything I believed I could count on suddenly felt in question and I didn’t know what to do. I should run my cards, but the thought of what they might say petrified me. Worse, my gut was pushing me in a direction I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go.
I always wanted the truth, which was why I’d been drawn to the Tarot with its ability to give answers. Except now I’d accused him of hiding things when I had secrets of my own. After all, I hadn’t told him about Vieira’s holo-adapter or the pseudo-date with Brody. Maybe Alexei was right. Maybe deep down, I’d always expected us to fail. I expected betrayal and disappointment, so I got it. Why did I do this to myself? What was the point of having a luck gene if it didn’t make things better?
I looked down at my stomach, as if I could physically see an answer explaining my determination to ruin things. If my gut had anything to say on the subject, it kept its opinions to itself. All I had were my fears, my unfounded suspicious, and a boyfriend I’d upset but didn’t know how to apologize to. I’d started this week off with a Euphoria crash that could have killed me. If I’d known that was going to be the high point of things, I would have found a way to skip everything else altogether.