The next sol found me back at my shop. I couldn’t claim to be rested, but Lotus looked tan so at least one of us had a good time.
She and Buckley were happy again, having worked through their latest round of issues. She also lamented Red Dust’s demise—the club was there one minute and gone the next, like it had never existed. I made noncommittal noises, deciding not to mention my role in Alexei’s decision to close it. She’d managed to reschedule all my appointments, meaning this week would be busy—even after canceling the dog readings. Seriously, still with the dogs! Sometimes I wondered if Lotus actually listened to me.
“Don’t forget about the reading party tomorrow evening,” she reminded me. “I transferred it to your schedule this morning.”
“Oh, shit! It’s tomorrow?”
“You told me to fit it in where you had room.”
I swore again. “I forgot to tell Alexei about it.” Great, another secret apparently.
“Why does he need to know? It’s your shop. You can do whatever you want.”
“I know, but things are complicated. We moved in together, there are Consortium issues cropping up, the bodyguard thing is started to get out of control, and—”
“You moved in with him?” Lotus looked dumbfounded. “When were you going to tell me this piece of news?”
I shrugged. “It happened on the weekend. We’re still adjusting.”
“Wow. Can’t say I saw that coming. He’s out of town so often, I assumed he had some action on the side.”
“Could you please make me feel more insecure than I already do?”
“Actually, I’m impressed. At this rate, he’ll be going to Celeste’s party and wanting to marry you by the end of the week. You told her you’re not going, right?”
I squirmed uncomfortably. “Well, she talked me into it then pressured me to bring Alexei so we’ll both be there.”
Lotus looked at me, jaw dropping. “Holy shit, do you have a magic vagina? How are you getting him to agree to all this? What kind of voodoo hold do you have over that guy? Nothing against you, cousin. But you’re you and he’s…Well, he’s Alexei Petriv. He could have anyone.”
It probably wasn’t a good thing her thoughts so closely mirrored my own, so I said, “Gods, Lotus, don’t make it seem like it’s so impossible he wants to be with me.”
“Know what? Let’s just be happy things are moving forward for you,” Lotus said, banging her hand on the desk as if that might somehow clear the air. Then she bent over her c-tex bracelet. “I’m looking at your schedule now. I can try rebooking the party with Novi Pazidor, but since I’ve moved your appointments from last week, I don’t know where to put it. You could always cancel. I don’t trust her anyway.”
“Keep it where it is. I’ll think of something.”
“You need a backup plan,” Lotus advised. “Just in case the Russian starts thinking protecting you also means trying to run your life and won’t let you go. I mean, it’s Driller Dive after all. It isn’t the safest part of town, even with the muscle he has following you around. He still might try to kibosh you. Men are always screwing women over.”
“Screwing me over? This sounds like something you’d normally say when there’s trouble with Buckley.”
“I just think it doesn’t hurt to have the upper hand in the relationship,” Lotus said with a regal sniff. “Buckley and I are perfect. In fact, we were talking about having a baby.”
I stopped everything and whirled on her. “What?”
“Yeah, we’re thinking we should both get our fertility inhibitors removed and finally do this. Take the next step. Become functioning adults.”
“But two weeks ago you hated him.”
Lotus waved it away. “That was then. Now it’s different. Besides we’ve been talking about it for a while and we’re ready.”
I slapped a smile on my face because what else could I do? “Just remember, it’s going to tie you to him for a long time. You may like him now, but he could be an asshole again next week.”
“Believe me, I know it. But I think we can do this,” she assured me. Then she gave me a speculative look. “You think you and the Russian might do it one day?”
I think my jaw dropped a little and I honestly had no good reply. Not one I wanted to get into with her at any rate. “I don’t think we’re ready for that.”
“Okay, but just don’t waste your time with him if he can’t give you what you want,” Lotus advised, examining her nails.
I frowned. According to Alexei, I didn’t know what I wanted. “I’ll be sure to take that under advisement.”
“You could always use your cards to find a new guy if you don’t think he’s the one. True love is just a shuffle of the deck away. Isn’t that what you tell people?”
“I’ve never said anything so ridiculous in my life. The day I start spouting gimmicky clichés is the day I give up card reading,” I told her, outraged. “Besides, finding true love has nothing to do with shuffling the cards. They show what’s going to happen, not make it happen.”
“Better not say that too loud,” Lotus said, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper as she glanced at the door. “Looks like your next appointment is here. You might chase them off if you can’t guarantee results.”
I followed her gaze to see three teenage girls enter the shop. They all looked nervous, as if they’d made their appointment on a dare. Based on the cut of their clothes, the accessories they carried, and their matching bird-inspired cheek tattoos that rippled with a rainbow of colors, all came from money. I’d need to be “on” until my head ached—charming, sympathetic, bubbly—while I counseled them through a variety of adolescent woes. Not a bad way to spend a few hours, but not particularly satisfying either. It actually made me look forward to tomorrow night’s card reading party with Novi Pazidor.
“Looks like true love might only be a shuffle away after all,” Lotus continued in a stage whisper, before getting up to greet the girls.
I rolled my eyes and stifled a laugh. With these girls, she was probably right. I’d most likely be picking out new boyfriends for everyone. Well, at least they weren’t dogs, I consoled myself. Plus, they wouldn’t shit on the floor. Depending on how you looked at it, everything had a bright side.
I was in my reading room working on an assignment from my Russian language class when I heard soft male laughter and lots of giggling from the reception desk. For a while, I ignored it as I worked through the exercises then listened to the spoken language translation on my c-tex. For the millionth time, I wished I had t-mods to download the language all at once instead of doing things the hard way. Alexei was supportive when my pronunciation was off or I mixed up the word order, but that was the extent of his help. Asking him to tutor me had been a waste of time. To be fair, he’d tried. Unfortunately, he was more intrigued with getting me stretched out under him than he was in teaching me Russian. It was better if I did the work myself or saved my questions for the evening class I took twice a week. Since I’d missed both classes last week, I was trying to catch up by working through the assignments posted on the CN-net between appointments.
When the laughter became too much, I got up to close the door before realizing Buckley and Lotus usually fought more than laughed. Time to investigate. I hadn’t gone far when Lotus giggled again, followed by male laughter I recognized. I froze in the doorway, caught by a wave of déjà vu so potent, it staggered me.
It was like I was back on Earth, watching Natty giggle at her desk over something Brody had said—because of course it was Brody. She would touch his arm or his chest, he would grin and say something funny, and the laughter would start again.
Taking the scenario further, after he’d finished flirting with Natty, Brody would turn his attention to me, I’d close up the shop, and we’d go back to his place. Since I worked nights, I would often sleep there in the morning, he would leave work early, and we’d spend the afternoon together. Or some days, he didn’t go to work at all. On those days, I didn’t get any sleep, despite an entire day spent in bed. Brody had always worked to accommodate my unusual schedule, fitting in to wherever I could make space for him in my life, even if it was just a lull between appointments in the middle of the night. My stomach gave a lurch and I just stood there, dismayed at the direction of my thoughts.
Just seeing him bent over Lotus like that…I didn’t know what it was. The déjà vu, the lurch in my stomach, the way my gut had been reacting for weeks now—I suddenly remembered all those long-forgotten Brody-centered feelings. They were as familiar and uncomplicated as the sun in the sky. I didn’t have to think, worry about where I stood with him, or negotiate every aspect of our relationship.
He wore a dark gray suit with a green shirt that brought out the green in his eyes. The cut was perfect, emphasizing his shoulders and lean figure. He wasn’t as big as Alexei, but there was still some bulk underneath that suit.
He really was attractive. I’d forgotten that. I’d forgotten how tall he was too. Again, not as tall as Alexei, but still a height that made me tip my head back to look up at him. And his hands…They had done things to me that had to be illegal somewhere in the tri-system. And he’d always been amusing and fun—the perfect boyfriend I hadn’t even realized I’d had.
Brody looked up and caught me standing in the doorway. His grin faded, and became something more private—a look just for me. I knew he could tell exactly what I was thinking because he was thinking it too.
Lotus spotted me. “This guy claims you know him. He wanted to see you, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have an appointment. Where do you find all these men anyway? ‘Hot Guys R Us’?”
I had to put a lid on it and make this stop. I couldn’t be feeling like this. “Yes, I know him, and no, he doesn’t have an appointment. You booked me solid for the rest of the week, so tell him he’ll have to come back later.”
“He tried to bribe me with strawberries. Amateur,” Lotus scoffed, shooting Brody a flirtatious glance. “You should try them, though. They’re amazing. Says he got them at the market, but I didn’t think they were in season this time of year.”
She gestured to the small wicker basket on her desk, filled to the rim with the plump, red fruit. Then she bit into one, yelping in surprise when berry juice dribbled down her chin. She wiped at it hastily with a napkin before it could travel too far.
I looked from the basket to Brody, saw him watching me. Again the déjà vu hit, walloping so hard, it was a wonder I didn’t crumble under the force of it. Strawberries? He’d brought me strawberries in Nairobi the first time he’d come to my shop. Then he asked me out. I’d said yes, and then…
I did the supremely mature thing of striding back into my reading room and slamming the door. I felt like my heart would beat its way out of my chest and my gut was roiling until I thought I might be sick because everything was too intense and familiar and this should not be happening to me!
There was a knock on the door, and before I could say anything, Brody was inside, an eyebrow arched in question. “Looks like someone might be jealous she isn’t getting any attention.”
“I’m not jealous! Why are you even here, and don’t say you were in the neighborhood.” My voice came out shrill and I felt brittle and anxious. He needed to leave and I needed this feeling to go away. “Aren’t you supposed to be occupied with Consortium business?”
“Would it make you feel better if I said I’m specifically here to see you?”
Gods, no, it wouldn’t. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, as if he thought I would bolt. Hell, maybe I would. It trapped us in the windowless room and suddenly the space I’d always thought intimate and cozy was too small. He was just too there, invading everything.
“I said I’d be in touch once I contacted the Under-Secretary. I haven’t done that yet. Why are you here and why the hell are you bringing me strawberries?”
“Felicia, calm down. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. No hidden agenda. No secret plans. Just old-fashioned concern.”
I shook my head. “It’s not your job to be concerned.”
He gave me a long, considering look. “Actually, I thought that was normal behavior between friends. They check up on each other. See how the other person is doing. Drop in to visit occasionally. Plus, I was curious about your shop. I wanted to see what it looked like.” He looked around the room, studying the space. “It’s nice. Charlie Zero would like it. Reminds me of your place in Nairobi.”
“That was the goal,” I said, following his gaze around the room.
“I can see I’m upsetting you,” he said eventually. “I guess having an ex suddenly drop back into your life would shock anyone. I can see now how this might seem stalkerlike, especially with the strawberries.”
He looked so apologetic, it made me wonder if I was the one overreacting and not the other way round. “A little,” I agreed, softening my tone. “Maybe give me some warning before you stop by, or add a few sols been visits.”
“I’ll remember that for next time.”
Great. And now I had a potential “next time” lined up with him.
“I still haven’t contacted Vieira yet,” I reminded him. “I’m not sure I’m ready to meet with him. Plus I’m busy.”
“Yes, I see that. Lotus is filing her nails out front and you’re”—he looked at the paperwork on my card reading table—“doing your homework. If you’re nervous, you’re nervous. Believe me, I understand. I’d need to get myself into the right mind-set before I contacted him too. And I’d definitely find ways to procrastinate before I did it.”
I made to scoop up my homework before I stopped myself. I didn’t have to explain anything to him. “If I say I’m not ready, I’m not ready. Besides, I can’t just shim one of the most powerful people in the tri-system and expect him to jump to my schedule.”
“If he’s really here to see you, then that’s exactly what you do and he’ll make himself available,” Brody reasoned. “I know Alexei would. And if you needed me, I would too.”
At his comment, my stomach did a swooping, excited lurch that wasn’t at all appropriate. It was only supposed to do that for Alexei.
“When I walked in today, it felt like old times, didn’t it?”
Oh shit, was I blushing? Did he know what my stomach was doing? I could feel something coiling tightly within me, begging to be released. Maybe it was even worse after last night’s confrontation with Alexei that left everything feeling at loose ends. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you do. It was like we were back in Nairobi, on Night Alley. I saw the look on your face. You felt it too. The pull’s still there.”
“There’s no pull.”
“Of course not. No pull at all.” He laughed softly, considering me. “Sorry if I made things awkward again. I just wanted to say how I felt.” He looked around the office as if casting about for something else to say. He spotted my books on the table. “You’re still into languages? Russian now?”
“Yes,” I said cautiously. “It’s a bit trickier than I thought.”
He glanced through the pages. “Does Alexei help with your homework?”
“Sometimes, but I won’t learn if someone hands it to me.”
He paused on a page, frowning before pushing it aside. I looked at it, wondering what was up before noticing I’d made a mistake in verb tenses. Was that what Brody had caught—my page full of mistakes? Which made me pause. Did he speak Russian? If so, I hadn’t known that. Before I could ask, he sat down and stretched out his long legs.
He grinned expansively. “I thought maybe you could try contacting the Under-Secretary while I’m here.”
Oh, did he? “Ever think I might have a client coming in?”
“I already checked with Lotus. She said you had free time now.”
I wanted to get angry at his presumptuousness, but he was right. I did have free time, and since he was already there, it would certainly make things easier to do this now. Still, it should be my decision when I contacted Vieira, not his.
“I assume you haven’t told Alexei yet?” he continued.
“I thought we agreed that was a bad idea. Remember the whole ‘locking me in a cage’ thing?”
“True, but if things go sideways, Alexei can bring the whole Consortium down on Vieira’s ass.”
I frowned at that. “I don’t want to start something between them. I just want to hear what Vieira has to say.”
“Hopefully, it’s that easy and he just wants to talk,” Brody said, though it didn’t sound like he believed it.
I didn’t either. “I don’t want to make this about One Gov and the Consortium. Why does it even need to be like that?”
“It doesn’t. Or it shouldn’t. You shouldn’t be in the middle of a conflict that’s been building behind the scenes for decades, if not longer. For that at least, I’m sorry.”
“That’s not…” My voice trailed off. Fucking stupid luck gene. Was that why I was in this position? Because luck wanted me there? “I shouldn’t even be telling you this stuff. Gods, I don’t need a war for the fate of the tri-system on top of everything else.”
“Fate of the tri-system? That’s a bit much, even for you. You know I only want the best for you, right? If Alexei is putting pressure on you because of Vieira and making you miserable—”
“I never said that.”
“Alright then,” he said, continuing the ruse we were having a perfectly normal conversation. “If that isn’t the problem, then something else must be causing you grief.”
“You mean besides you suddenly showing up out of nowhere?”
“Yes, besides me. Maybe your business isn’t going well—I don’t remember you ever having enough free time to do homework between appointments. And I know you loved working nights rather than being tied to a day job. If I recall, you once called me a mindless drone tied to the corporate clock of capitalism, dancing to the fake idealism of One Gov’s promise to the tri-system of equality for all.”
I laughed because I couldn’t help myself. “I never said anything like that, and if I did, I was probably drunk.”
“Well, I may have been paraphrasing. My point is—then and now, I just wanted you to be happy and I don’t think you are.”
We both fell silent, looking at each other. My cheeks felt unaccountably flushed so I gathered all the papers on my reading table—anything to keep myself from thinking about whatever he wanted to imply. Brody merely watched my pointless busywork, and the silence felt weighted with expectation.
Finally I’d cleared the table and because I couldn’t think of anything else to do and he didn’t seem inclined to go anywhere, I pulled out the holo-adapter I’d kept hidden from Alexei for the past two sols. Brody arched an eyebrow, knowing he’d cracked me.
I sniffed regally, refusing to acknowledge his grin. “If we’re going to do this, we need to hurry. I’ve got an appointment in about half an hour.”
“Maybe you should reschedule.”
“I can’t afford to. Any regular clients I have are going to dump me.”
“So I was right about the business part not going well.”
“No, it’s fine, but…” I sighed, shrugging. What was the point of trying to hide anything when he could read me so easily? Had he always been able to do that? “It’s not Nairobi. I don’t feel like I’m helping anyone. I miss Earth sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love being here, but it’s like I’m missing the one key ingredient that makes it all work the way I want. I know once I have it, everything will click. Unfortunately, I don’t know what that ingredient is.”
“And does Alexei know you feel like this?”
My eyes narrowed as I studied him. “Don’t try to analyze our relationship.”
His grin widened. “Wouldn’t dream of it.” He nudged the holo-adapter with his finger. “Ready?”
In response, I removed my c-tex and set it on the table. Then I snapped the adapter into one of its removable jewel ports. Immediately, a blue-toned holo-bubble appeared over the bracelet’s display, about the size of the bathroom mirror at home. Or rather, former home. Wow, this was really old-school tech—definitely before my time. There was a single item on the drop menu: the Connect prompt. Brody got up to stand behind me so he could look into the bubble the same way I could; it was unidirectional so anyone facing me couldn’t view it.
My finger hesitated over the prompt. Even my gut fell silent. I looked over my shoulder at Brody. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I’m actually really glad you’re here.”
He placed his hand on mine. His swamped mine and his skin felt warm compared to my icy chill. I fought not to shiver at the intimacy of the contact.
“So am I.”
Then I moved both our hands forward until my finger swiped Connect.