Day Forty-Three

YOUR FAMILY

Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

—EPHESIANS 1:5 MSG

Every family has its own unique makeup, strengths, and pains. For many people, loving your family, or just being in your family period, can take more courage than any of your other relationships combined.

But God does family perfectly. He adopted us, flawed and often unhealthy, into His family through Jesus. He loves us even when we aren’t lovely. It doesn’t mean that we are required to do family perfectly; it just means that we are treated and cared for perfectly in His family.

So what does it mean to be brave in your family? It means that you can be brave enough to love your family well even if your family isn’t always healthy. It means that you can be brave enough to stay in family and to love family and to create family.

There’s this great book called Hillbilly Elegy, and if you haven’t read it yet, oh my goodness. Fix that soon, please. It’s a story about a guy who grew up in rural Appalachia and ended up going to Yale and creating a successful life for himself. He broke the generational norm and created something new.

You can be brave enough to love your family well even if your family isn’t always healthy.

But one of my takeaways from the book (because I’m always thinking about courage, right?) was—Oh my gosh! He didn’t come from a healthy family (though he does a great job honoring them in his book), but he was brave enough to build his own. He has a wife and has kids . . . I think he has kids. He has dogs, at least.

Here’s where I’m going with this: Are you brave enough to build a family even if you had problems in your nuclear family?

And what does it look like to love your family well even if they’ve hurt you? Every situation is different, of course. Sometimes the best way to love certain family members is from a distance.

What might this look like for you? It’s following the example of God, who lives and breathes forgiveness and grace. It’s asking Him for wisdom with those in your family who baffle you. Pray for the courage to stick with your family and love them as they are, the way God has loved you.

BE BRAVE: Call someone in your family. Thank this person for his or her love and support through the years. Maybe family is complicated for you; I get that. Then call someone who has been like family to you.