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The Raiders, Scarsdale High School’s baseball team, had a pretty bad stretch in the early 1990’s. It had been quite a while since they’d enjoyed a winning season. But when scrappy second baseman Davey Negrón made the Senior Varsity in his freshman year, their record quickly turned around. His soft hands on the field and his quick bat not only delighted those who were sitting in the bleachers but it also caught the eyes of major league scouts throughout the country.
Uncle Dominic accompanied his sister Stefanie to watch Davey play whenever he could and there was no way he was going to miss the big game against the New Rochelle Huguenots. It was for a final playoff spot.
Davey’s recently deceased dad was also there, sitting in the row above Dominic and Stefanie casually eavesdropping in on their conversation. I had gotten there in the seventh inning because I had to wait for the sun to come down. As always, it was bittersweet sitting together with the family and of course I had to resist the urge to stand up and cheer Davey on. As far as Dominic and Stefanie were concerned, the space behind them was unoccupied.
At the top of the seventh, Davey smoothly fielded a routine grounder to end the inning for the Huguenots. It would now be the bottom of the seventh with the Raiders’ last chance to come from behind. The score was 7-4. If they strung a couple of hits together, Davey would have a chance to be the hero of the game. He was scheduled to bat fifth.
As the teams changed sides, Dominic took the opportunity to quiz Stefanie about her personal life. “So you really like this guy, huh?”
“He’s very nice,” answered my widow.
“So, what’s his name again, Bill?” He observed her like he was questioning a perp. Stefanie just nodded without turning away from the field. Big brother persisted. “Nice guy, huh?” I couldn’t see from behind, but I’m sure Stefanie was rolling her eyes at her overprotective brother. “So, he’s a teacher?”
“He’s a college professor.”
“Yeah, so, like, what does this guy profess?”
“Calculus.” Stefanie shook her head, smiling, though I’m not sure she was amused.
“Calculus, huh?”
“Will you stop?”
“What? What? I can’t ask my sister a couple of questions about some guy she’s seeing?”
“Just watch the game. This is their last chance,” she said, redirecting his attention.
The hometown crowd cheered on, trying to charge up a Scarsdale rally as the first batter approached the plate.
Dominic clapped his hands rhythmically, beaming at his nephew on the bench. “Come on guys, you can do it!”
This would have been one of our moments; Stefanie, Dominic and me together rooting for our boy, me holding Stefanie’s hand and me breaking Dominic’s balls about something, anything (I didn’t need much). Instead I sat quietly behind them and reflected on how many moments like this I’d missed.
“Davey looks good, don’t he?” said Dominic, nudging his, sister. “Even better than his father.” Was that necessary, dumb ass, bringing me into the conversation? “And it’s unbelievable how much better he is than all these seniors that are bigger and older than him. I can see him in the majors someday.”
Stefanie didn’t reply, keeping her focus on the game. Dominic then caught on that maybe bringing me up wasn’t the smartest thing to do. He apologetically took his sister’s hand. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. You probably still miss him a lot.”
“Dominic, don’t,” replied Stefanie as the first batter popped out to short.
“Hey, I miss him, too. He was my buddy.”
I miss you too, you fat bastard.
Stefanie didn’t want to hear it. “Stop,” she ordered.
“Come on, sis, you know there’s no way he would have done those things they said in the paper. He loved you. Believe me, I know.”
“You know?” She almost laughed in his face. “Tell me, how do you know?”
“Stef, all he ever talked about was you and how much he loved you. You know that. That whole thing was some kind of set up. I’m telling you—”
“Set up?” Their voices rose but the roar from the bleachers drowned them out as the Raiders first baseman ripped into a fastball and drove it over the fence. The score was now 7-5. “I’m a grown woman, Dominic. There was no set up. It’s a fact of life. I know he loved me, but that’s what men do.”
“No, sis, that’s not true.”
“Of course it’s true. After a few years of marriage, you get a little bored. Some other woman gives you attention...”
“No, Stef, it’s not like that at all.”
“Sure it is, Dominic. Even you—”
Stefanie cut herself off.
They were temporarily distracted as the Raiders catcher hit a liner back to the pitcher for the second out. The next batter had to get on base for Davey to have a chance at bat.
The distraction was only momentary. Dominic’s eyes narrowed. “Even me? What do you mean by that?”
Stefanie backed down. “Forget it.”
“No, no, tell me,” he prodded.
“No, forget it!”
“No, sis, I want to know what you meant by that.”
Stefanie gave in. “Dominic, you don’t think everyone knew about Colleen?”
Dominic turned pale. “Colleen!”
“Yes, Colleen Ryan, your old partner’s wife, you don’t think I knew? You don’t think Patti knew?”
Holy shit! I didn’t know! Who says women can’t keep a secret? Dominic was fucking Colleen Ryan??? Dominic, you animal!!!
Usually, he was quick with an answer, but not this time. All he could mutter after a moment of stunned silence was, “It wasn’t like that...”
“Oh, no? Then tell me what it was like? Was that a set up, too?”
A welcome change of the subject came when the Raiders third baseman was hit by a pitch. Davey was now going to get a chance to hit. As the tying run, he had a chance to be a hero. On the other side of the coin, if Davey made an out, the Scarsdale High School baseball season would be over.
Dominic and Stefanie cheered.
“Come on, Davey!”
“You can do it, Davey!”
Davey wasted no time. He drilled the first pitch into the right centerfield alley past the outfielders. They chased desperately after the ball as Davey rounded first and headed towards second. By the time the right fielder got to the ball, the runner ahead of Davey crossed the plate to make it 7-6. In the meantime, the bleachers were shaking with excitement as Davey sped towards third. When the cutoff throw reached the first baseman in shallow right, the Raiders third base coach signaled Davey to stop.
He didn’t listen. Thick-headed, just like his father.
The first baseman’s throw to the plate was perfect and the catcher blocked the plate beautifully, absorbing Davey’s hard slide. The catcher fell over but he had already received the throw and made the tag. The only question was whether he held on to the ball.
The crowd’s cheerful roar became a somber quiet as they waited for the umpire to make his call.
He looked down at the catcher.
The ball was still in his mitt.
The umpire threw his fist in the air.
“OUT!”
The season was over. No playoffs.
Davey got up in a rage, throwing his helmet and kicking it. (Deja-fucking-Vu) The umpire warned Davey to stop, prompting the Raiders coach to run over to calm him. Dominic also ran down from the bleachers to soothe his nephew. Stefanie slowly followed.
By the time they were out in the parking lot to head home, Davey’s tantrum subsided. Stefanie and Dominic didn’t say a word. They knew a consolation speech would only set him off again so they just walked together towards their cars. Dominic was parked next to Stefanie. Davey had ridden in with his mother.
Dominic patted Davey on the shoulder, who grunted goodbye to his uncle before going into the car and slamming the door shut. Stefanie’s eyes welled up with tears.
“Hey, don’t worry, sis. It’s only a game,” said Dominic. He then shot his nephew an angry look and spoke loud enough to be heard inside the car. “He’ll get over it!”
Stefanie shook her head and hugged her brother, kissing him on the cheek. “I’m sorry I said that.”
“Nah, it’s in the past. What’s happened, happened. Don’t worry about it.”
“But, to answer your question, I do. I do miss him,” she said, barely getting the words out. “I miss him every day of my life.”
Dominic hugged his sister tightly and watched her as she got into her car and drove off.
His eyes were red.
He hadn’t been sleeping much. I could see that his mind was in a jumble. But why? What was going on in that fat bastard’s head?
He then took a sudden turn and looked squarely, right into my eyes. It startled me enough to take a step back. I looked at my hands to make sure my I wasn’t exposed.
Nothing.
I looked to the ground to see if a shadow was cast from lights in the ball park. The only shadow was Dominic’s. So why did he turn and look right at me?
It was almost as if... he knew I was there.