‘HARRY...’
Sienna’s sweet voice broke through the clouds in his head.
Timing was everything, apparently. He could’ve checked the mailbox ten minutes ago, instead of sitting staring at his feet thinking of what might’ve been with Sienna if he had the guts to give it a go. He could’ve prepped the steak he’d bought for dinner before he came out here. By then surely she’d have gone inside. ‘Hey, there. How’s things?’ His hands gripped his hips. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her, more that he already knew the pain that would follow as he watched her walk back up to her apartment alone.
Sienna swung around the end of her drive, a large smile splitting her face. ‘You’ve got to see this.’
He did? What was so important she wanted him to take a look? It could be her report card from primary school and he’d willingly read it. ‘What’ve you got?’
‘My very own pilot’s logbook.’ She skidded to a halt in front of him and opened to the first page. ‘See, those are my hours, and that shows what the lesson was about, and that’s the type of plane.’
‘Whoa, that’s awesome. You’ve done one-hour-five in total over two days?’
‘The lessons are intense and, therefore, not very long at first. But, Harry, it was fantastic. I’m learning climbing and descending.’ Her hand rose and fell in gentle waves. ‘Tomorrow I’m starting on turns.’
‘Who’d have thought you could get so excited about making a turn?’ His laugh was low and a little sad. Had she been excited when she did an about-face on him?
‘I know.’ She snapped the book shut. ‘Sorry, I got a bit carried away.’ Stepping away, she drew her shoulders back, determination now covering her beautiful face. ‘How’re things with you?’ Determined to be polite, not excited and happy?
That hurt. He didn’t deserve it. They had both agreed to a fling, not for ever after. He just hadn’t been ready for the finish, was all. Was still getting used to it. ‘I’ve left a chilly bin by your back door with some fish fillets on ice. You might want to eat them tonight or put them in the freezer.’ He began to walk away, unable to stand there and not haul her into his arms and kiss the daylights out of them both. Yeah, he still wanted her. And that was something that had never happened before, not in a long time at any rate.
‘Thanks.’ Then, ‘Harry, are you all right? Why aren’t you at work?’ She sounded concerned.
Unfortunately he couldn’t use it to his advantage. ‘I’m fine. Got today and tomorrow off as I’m working the weekend.’
‘I’m glad nothing’s wrong.’
Oh, believe me, plenty’s wrong.
How to fix it was another story. He stomped up the drive and inside to unpack groceries, open every window in the place, hang out the washing. Oil and season the steak. Mundane, meant to distract the picture of Sienna seared at the front of his brain, and not working. Now what? He’d been on the go since six and it was only ten and he didn’t know how to fill in the rest of the day. This was when living in a town where he didn’t know anyone other than colleagues sucked. No one to ring and say ‘Want to go for a run, or a beer, or a game of squash?’ At least returning to Melbourne would change that, if nothing else.
No point looking over the fence. Sienna had gone out again, probably headed to the aero club and another lesson that got her all wound up in a ball of barely contained excitement. He’d never seen her so happy. Or maybe he had when they made love, or when she’d caught her first fish the other day. Long may it last. She deserved it. If only he could find the tenacity to hang around and share her happiness. Harry shivered. This wasn’t about doggedness. It was about risk-taking, and where his heart was concerned that wasn’t happening.
So he needed to find something to fill in his time.
The lawns could do with a cut. He got a sweat up fast in the heat. It felt good, worked some of the hurt out of his system. Hurt he shouldn’t be feeling. They’d had a fling, and now Sienna had beat him to pulling the plug. If he’d done it. The weekend in Coromandel had shown him another side to Sienna, and to himself. It had woken up those old dreams of love and family and settling in one place.
His legs ate up the lawn as he raced round and round. The middle came way too fast. He needed to expend more energy. Sienna’s lawns could do with a cut. She wouldn’t thank him. Too bad. He didn’t need thanks. Just a kiss.
No, not a kiss, you idiot.
She could ignore him for all he cared. But he would mow the lawn for her.
Round and round and round until he reached the centre.
She’d go ape—no straight lines to be seen, but there was nothing she could do about it, just as there was nothing he could do about her calling off their fling before he was ready.
Now he’d earned a beer. But who to call? Everyone was at work. Except his neighbour, and he was not calling her. Grabbing a glass of icy water, he went to find his laptop and cruised the medical sites for jobs that didn’t involve Melbourne, and his parents, and all the things he’d spent years avoiding. More importantly, he had to find one that wasn’t in Auckland, because he needed to avoid Sienna more than anything. She’d pressed some buttons, kick starting emotions that he didn’t want to admit to. So he’d go for broke and do his usual—he’d move on.
* * *
On Wednesday afternoon Sienna indicated to turn into her driveway but the old man in the wheelchair kept on going right into her path. ‘Watch out.’
Clunk. The wheelchair bounced off her bumper, teetered on one wheel before banging down on the other and rolling on down the road.
‘What?’ She quickly pulled into her driveway and hauled the brake on before leaping out and running after the man.
He was out of control and heading into the path of another oncoming car. ‘Stop,’ she shouted. ‘Look out.’
The driver of the car couldn’t hear her with her windows closed, and if the old man had he didn’t understand or was incapable of acting on it. She ran, her breath stuck in her throat as she waited for the inevitable, and hoped impact wouldn’t be too nasty.
It was worse. The chair slammed square on the front grill and the man was tossed out and under the engine.
The car wheels squealed as brakes were applied, then the driver screamed. ‘What happened? Where did you come from?’
Sienna reached them. ‘Turn off the motor while I check out how the man’s situated under there.’
‘Shouldn’t I back off?’
‘No,’ she all but shouted. ‘The gentleman might be caught on a part of your car and we don’t want you dragging him along the road.’
The woman blanched. ‘Just as well you’re thinking straight. I’d have injured him even more.’
Deep breath as she kneeled down. ‘It’s all right. We’ve got this.’
‘Is he caught in the wheelchair?’ came a familiar voice.
‘He’s strapped in,’ she told Harrison as she took in the odd angle of the man’s arm and the blood pouring from the side of his head. And the lax mouth. ‘I wonder if he had a medical event. He wasn’t controlling the wheelchair at all.’
‘I heard a bang and came rushing out to see what had happened.’ Harry lowered onto his stomach and pushed forward, his head disappearing under the car, still talking. ‘Did he hit your car first?’
‘Bounced off the bumper.’ She squatted beside Harry and looked at how to disentangle their man. ‘This isn’t going to be easy.’
Wriggling out, Harry stood up and pulled his phone out. ‘I’ll call 111 and then get my medical bag. Do you have one in your apartment?’
Shaking her head, she admitted, ‘Only the basic bandages and creams.’
‘Our man needs a lot more than that.’ Harry rattled off details and the address to the emergency service.
Sienna straightened up. ‘I’ll get your gear. Emergencies are more your strength.’ She could do what was required, but why not give the old man the best chance they had available and right now that was Harrison?
‘See if there’s a crowbar in the garage, would you? I’d like to shift this bumper off his chest if I can.’
‘On my way.’ Ducking inside the apartment, she retrieved the medical kit before heading into the garage to search through the biggest collection of tools she’d ever encountered. Everything but a crowbar. Would a hammer be large enough? Snatching the largest one, she spun around to head outside and stopped. A crowbar hung from a nail on the far wall, half-hidden by a raincoat. ‘Yeah.’
Back beside Harry she opened the kit so he could get at anything he needed. Then she began checking over the man’s legs, searching for broken bones.
‘I think he’s had a stroke,’ Harry said quietly.
‘That would explain the loss of control over the wheelchair.’ At least he was still breathing. ‘Lack of consciousness?’
‘There’s an impact injury to the skull, but the stroke might’ve caused him to lose full consciousness before. Did you notice anything out of the ordinary?’ Harry was working at stemming the bleeding.
‘Only that he didn’t seem to see my car, nor hear me when I yelled to watch out.’ Shuffling closer, she put her hand over Harry’s where he pressed against the wound. ‘Let me do that while you try and shift the bumper.’
Harrison handed over immediately and studied the bent and buckled wheelchair. ‘It’s stuck hard. We’ve got the fire service coming. Those guys will have cutting equipment. I doubt the crowbar will be of any use without hurting our man further.’
‘There’s a siren now,’ a woman said in a trembling voice.
Sienna glanced up to see the driver of the car watching them worriedly. ‘You okay?’
‘Not really. I could’ve killed him.’
‘He is alive, but we think he’s had a stroke, so don’t go blaming yourself.’ She turned back to their patient and with her free hand began checking his pulse again.
‘Can you move left a bit?’ Harry asked as he bent back some broken wheel spokes.
‘Sure.’ Working alongside Harrison felt right. They just clicked. As they did with most things. Except her lawn. Even in her new, slightly relaxed state, those circles drove her nuts. ‘Thanks for mowing the lawn, by the way.’
He didn’t look her way, so focused was he on the bolt he was trying to undo, but his grin was obvious. ‘No problem.’
She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d annoyed her. If he hadn’t already guessed. Plastering on a big smile in case he looked her way, she continued checking her patient.
Her smile faltered. She dragged it back in place. Harrison was a problem, but that didn’t mean everything else was stalled. By starting to do things outside work she might become better prepared for a man in her future, whether it was Harrison or not. In her chest her heart slowed, unhappy about the idea of any man other than Harry. Okay, it seemed Harrison owned her heart. But for now she had to concentrate on getting her act together, becoming a rounded person with more to her bow than medicine.
If she had to pretend to be happy, then she’d keep pretending until it became real.
* * *
‘Harry, got a minute?’ the base director called as he made his way out of the changing room, dressed in light shorts and an even lighter shirt, the Santa suit he’d started wearing this week hanging on the peg for tomorrow. Seemed the kids loved Father Christmas turning up to save them.
That blasted humidity was doing a number on Harry again. ‘Sure, Derek.’ It was Friday night and he’d prefer a cold beer with the crew than what was probably going to be a discussion about how he thought the past three months had gone for him.
A chilled wine with a certain lady as company would be even better.
Yeah, well, that was not happening. Wine hadn’t been his favourite drink until a little over a week ago and he needed to move past that. The door had slammed shut on that particular relationship.
Sienna was busy getting on with her life and he was still in his nice, comfortable holding pattern of work, drinks with the crew, and avoiding everything else. Except the more he saw Sienna going out or arriving home well after him, the angrier he got with himself. Doing the same old same old wasn’t working any more. He wanted more, wanted to partake in living, not remain on the sidelines. In other words, he wanted to watch trees grow. Just as Sienna was doing. If she could sort herself out, surely he could manage the same?
‘Take a load off.’ Derek nodded to the chair on the opposite side of his desk and handed across his dream libation.
‘You read my mind.’ Hopefully only about the beer.
‘It’s stinking hot and we’re both off duty, so why not? This will hardly touch the sides.’
Harry poured beer into his mouth, savoured the chill, the flavour, then swallowed. ‘You softening me up for extra shifts?’ Some of the medical staff were trying to get days off for Christmas shopping and other pre-season stuff that needed doing before hordes of family descended upon them. He didn’t have that problem.
‘There is that, but what I want to ask is—what are your plans once you’re finished with us? Have you got another contract lined up?’
‘Sort of. I haven’t dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s but there’s a contract in my inbox.’ It needed signing and returning, fast. The days in Auckland were running out and he didn’t want to be left languishing. Definitely not in Auckland, where there was every chance of bumping into Sienna. Time to put this little glitch behind him and pull his finger out. He had to or go spare with need. He had to get away. Siberia wasn’t quite on the cards, but desperation did strange things to a man. ‘I’ve been offered the HOD’s position at Melbourne General for a year.’
The man opposite him nodded. ‘That sounds too good to turn down.’
‘It is, but for personal reasons I’m hedging my bets.’ Which wasn’t fair on Lance. He’d get on to that the moment he got home tonight.
‘Then you might be interested in staying on in Auckland. Working with us,’ he added quickly.
He’d walked into that one, hadn’t he? Too busy thinking about Sienna. ‘I’m not interested in continuing to live here either.’ But even as the words formed he was weighing up everything for and against. Getting away from being next door to Sienna was right up there, but there were other apartments or flats in this city that he could rent. On the plus side it meant not returning to Melbourne. Harry continued. ‘Tell me more about this position. How long do you need someone? What’s the role?’
‘This is confidential, you understand.’
‘You have my word.’
‘I’m going to Europe indefinitely with my wife. She’s Italian and wants to spend time with her relatives over there. There’re also lots of other countries we’d like to visit for more than a day or two crowded amongst millions of tourists, which is possible if we’re there out of peak season.’
‘Sounds fantastic.’ Harry drained his bottle. That sort of trip wasn’t something he’d do but then he didn’t have anyone to share the experience with, so he’d never given it much thought. It wouldn’t be half as enjoyable doing it alone.
Do you want to travel, Sienna?
The beer choked him. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he stared at his white knuckles. He’d got it bad. Perhaps he should go abroad, work in faraway places, and get over what ailed him.
Derek got two more beers from the small fridge shunted into a corner out of the way of medical packs and equipment. As he handed over a bottle he looked around his cramped office and then outside to where the helicopters were parked. ‘This would be a permanent position.’
‘Has this been approved by the board?’ There was no way the base director could make the offer off his own bat. The board would want a say in the matter—all the say.
‘They know and have agreed for me to approach you. You’ve impressed everyone with your cool, calm way of approaching patients and staff alike. If you don’t want to accept then we’ll have to go through the laborious process of advertising.’
‘Laying it on thick, aren’t you?’ Harry chuckled.
‘Of course. Tell me you’re not a little bit interested.’
The guy was good at this. ‘You already know the answer to that. I am thoroughly enjoying working here.’
‘But you’re not so keen on our great city.’
‘A city is a city.’ Saying too much, Harry.
‘So there’s someone in this particular city you want to avoid? Don’t you know the population is well over a million and a half?’
Yes, he did, but there were only so many hospitals and paediatric wards to go round, and in this job he visited all of them one week or another. ‘I’m not going to give you an answer today.’
‘Fair enough. That’s better than I’d expected after you said you wanted to get away. But don’t take too long, eh?’
‘I can shake on that.’
‘No need. Your word’s good enough for me.’ Derek shoved his chair back and stood up. ‘Feel up to a couple more beers at my place along with a barbecue and meeting Lisa?’
He knew when he was being set up. All part of the conditioning process, and no one could blame this man for trying. ‘I’d like that.’
‘Good. Hans and his wife will be there too.’ As in board-member Hans.
Too late to pull out—if he wanted to, and right this moment he wasn’t sure. Something about staying on in this particular service, this city, was pulling at him. Something he suspected revolved entirely around Sienna and what they’d started. She might’ve finished it but his heart still had to catch up, let her go. Or dive in deep. He shivered. ‘No problem.’ He’d buy a bottle of wine for Lisa on the way. Which promptly reminded him of the last bottle he’d bought and who for. Which in turn underscored exactly why he had to say no to this opportunity. Or did he?
Sienna would tell him where to stick that thought if she knew. She’d feed him back his own line about avoiding life. Damn, but they were alike, yet acting out their lives in opposite directions. Or had been until she cycled off that hill. The thought of signing on for a position with no end date in sight no longer frightened him as much as it once had. Getting old? At thirty-six? He grunted a sour laugh. No, but this constant moving around was getting old. The idea of waking up to the same possessions around him, the same people every day, the same town or city, was starting to become a persistent nag in the back of his head.
I planted trees I want to see grow.
Sienna. Of course. Damn her.
Get out of my head, will you?
* * *
‘I need wine.’ A glance at her phone told Sienna it was well after nine. Hardly wine o’clock. Too bad. Her last glass of wine had been on the lawn of the bach in Coromandel, with Harry beside her telling some embellished story about a road trip he’d done in outback Australia. She’d poured one the first night home after the weekend, and ended up tipping it out, unable to face it on her own. Wine was for enjoyment, for sharing, for laughter and chatter.
And for celebrating spreading my wings. Tick.
There was a bottle of champagne in the back of the fridge, put there yonks ago when a grateful parent had given it to her for saving his daughter’s life. Normally gifts from patients and parents went into the staff pool, but Dale had insisted she take this one home—the patient had been his niece. The bottle had languished in the fridge waiting for the right occasion. Well, tonight she’d finally found one.
The sound of the plastic cork popping made her smile, but as she poured the liquid into her glass the smile drooped. Champagne wasn’t made for drinking alone. New life, remember? The list was making things happen. Celebrate.
A vehicle pulled into the drive next door, making her pause. Harry was late home. Friday-night drinks with the crews? But his arrival was perfect timing if she had the courage to invite him in for a drink. He’d say no. She’d apologise for everything she’d said. He’d still say no. Did she need that?
Yes, if she was going to keep moving forward. No, because rejection stung.
‘Harry,’ she called over the fence. ‘I’ve just opened a bottle of champagne. Would you like a glass?’ He was probably thinking she had an alcohol problem, given the time of night.
His head appeared around the back of his four-wheel drive. ‘I’ve already had a couple of beers.’
‘Fair enough.’ She turned away. At least she’d tried.
Call that trying? Come on, Si.
Turning back, she drew a shaky breath. ‘I’m celebrating a grand total of three hours ten minutes’ flying time.’ Nerves warred with jubilation. ‘I don’t really like drinking alone.’
His sigh was loud enough to be heard across the fence. ‘Pour me a glass. I’ll be right over.’
She headed inside so she couldn’t hear when he called out his change of mind. Champagne spilled over the bench as she tried to fill a glass for him.
‘So you’re still getting a buzz out of heading up into the sky in a tiny flying machine?’
Sienna whirled around to stare at him standing in her doorway. ‘Absolutely. I should have done it ages ago. Right from the first time rolling down the runway it’s been thrilling. Very different to anything I’ve ever done before. Exciting, scary, demanding.’ Slow down. Harrison could still disappear on her if he thought she’d lost her mind.
He stepped inside. ‘So your fear of heights hasn’t raised its head as the hours go up?’
Handing him the glass with champagne inside and on the outside, she stared at him. Wow, he was gorgeous, but she already knew that. Now that she’d experienced his lovemaking there was no going back on her feelings for him. All she could do was rein them in while he was close. ‘Not one moment of trepidation.’
‘So no jumping off a building needed.’ That couldn’t be disappointment in his voice, surely?
The bungee-jumping idea still rattled her. ‘No.’ Not even with you.
‘I’m impressed.’ Harrison moved across to the table and pulled out two chairs, tilting his head at one.
Sinking onto the seat, she sipped her drink, needing the false sense of courage it gave her. If only he’d smile at her, turn her insides to mush. Then what? They had fallen out; he was here out of politeness, not because he wanted to make love with her.
‘Thanks, so am I. I haven’t been scared once. Honestly, when I hold the controls and the instructor tells me to pull back slowly and steadily and the nose of the plane comes up and then we’re off the ground and the plane’s flying because I did that—along with a lot of help—it’s the most incredible sensation out there. I can’t get enough of it.’
A bit like you. I can’t get enough of you, and yet there are times when I want nothing to do with you.
Harry sat, stretching his legs half across the dining room. ‘Go you. What’s next? Going onto the bridge of a cruise ship and taking that out to sea?’
He’d seen her list, knew everything that was on it. Including having a fling. Tick. She hadn’t written ‘end the fling quickly’ but mentally she gave that a tick too. ‘I might plan a short trip to South America to see Dad some time in the new year.’ Since when? Since right this moment. It wasn’t her preferred option but it was a load better than not continuing to push the boundaries. ‘I’m getting the hang of this.’ Hopefully not so much that she turned into a clone of her father.
‘You won’t want to return to the ward.’
His ability to read her mind still flummoxed her. ‘Yes, I will. I’ll always be a doctor at heart. That’s who I am before anything else.’ The wine was top-of-the-range yet she wasn’t getting the buzz she’d expected.
‘So you’ll start using up some of the leave you’ve got accruing.’ He swirled the champagne around in his glass, staring into it as if he was looking for something. But all he said was, ‘Are you heading back to work on Monday?’
‘Yes. The body’s back to normal, no aches or bruises.’ Though sometimes if she moved suddenly her ribs would give her grief.
Harrison’s eyes widened when she said body, but he didn’t give her the once-over. There certainly wasn’t any lust going on in his expression. He had got over her—very fast. ‘That’s good. I saw you coming back from a ride last night. The new bike looks like it’s got every bell and whistle going.’
Had he been looking out for her? Can’t have. He was giving off vibes that said he wanted nothing more to do with her. ‘I upgraded.’ Damn this. ‘What have you been doing since the weekend other than work?’
His shrug was eloquent, and really annoying. ‘Not a lot. The job takes most of my time, as you know.’
‘Sure. But there’s more to life than work,’ she gave back, tired of being the only one who had to sort out her life. ‘You could find a permanent job somewhere and stop running away.’
Rolling his glass back and forth between his hands, he glared at her. ‘You don’t pull any punches, do you?’
Her chin jutted forward. ‘I’m learning. And guess who taught me?’
The glare faded, replaced with something like longing. ‘Glad I’ve been some use.’
‘Some use?’ Harrison hadn’t pushed her off the road that night, though he had distracted her enough to lose concentration, but he hadn’t let her get away with her need to keep everything under control either. ‘That accident woke me up to certain things.’ Be honest, if nothing else. ‘But your irritating habit of rubbing me up the wrong way has helped. A lot.’
His eyes widened again, and his fingers relaxed their dangerous grip on the glass. ‘Even when you didn’t agree?’
‘Mostly when I didn’t agree with your damned fool suggestions.’
‘None of them were foolish, just backing up what you really wanted to do in the first place.’
Man, he could be such a know-it-all.
‘You—’
No, stop.
Playing You said... I said; if I can do this, you can too wasn’t going to get her anywhere. He was going to head back over the fence shortly, leaving her to her sad heart.
‘This is crazy.’ Draining her glass, she reached for the bottle. ‘More?’
He’d barely started the first glassful. ‘No.’ The glass started twirling between his fingers again.
Silence fell between them.
Sienna sipped her wine, trying to enjoy it. This was a celebration, after all. Not that anyone was dancing or singing.
‘I got a job offer today.’
Great. Not. No denying he was leaving now. Melbourne here he comes. ‘When do you start?’
‘I haven’t said yes.’
He’d been cagey the night she’d overheard his side of the conversation. Might as well pretend she knew nothing about that. ‘Is it too close to your current one?’ As in, right here, staying in the apartment next door and having to see her most days of the week, close?
‘It is my current one.’ Now he emptied his glass in one long swallow.
That got her attention. ‘Seriously?’ Definitely as in right here, staying in the apartment next door and having to see her most days of the week, close. Her heart whacked out of rhythm, unable to absorb this news.
‘As I told you, I haven’t said yes yet.’
He didn’t have to sound so down about it. Sienna pushed the bottle across. ‘So my neighbours aren’t returning?’ She wanted to be excited at the chance Harry might be next door for a while to come, but how could she be when the dark expression on his face told her it was the last thing he wanted? She might love him, but she didn’t want him at any cost. He had to feel the same about her and obviously that wasn’t the case. Had never been.
‘Okay, not quite the same job. Yes, your neighbours are returning, but the base director is leaving and his job’s mine if I want it.’ The darkness was still there in his eyes, his mouth tight, his cheeks pale.
‘You’re not exactly leaping in the air with excitement so I’d suggest you turn it down.’ How she managed to get those words out was beyond her, but they had to be said, and in the long run this was about protecting herself. Draining her glass, she struggled to swallow the now less than wonderful liquid for the lump in her throat.
Don’t let him ruin your day.
With grim determination she refilled both glasses and raised hers to tap the rim against Harry’s. ‘Here’s to making the right decision.’
He didn’t return the tap. ‘How does anyone know they’ve got it right? You hear so often about people at crossroads and selecting one way when it turns out the other would’ve been best.’
‘Or worse.’ This time it was easier to swallow. ‘Like you’ve told me, don’t let the past hold you back. Work out what you want and go for it, boots and all.’
‘Where do you want to be in six months’ time?’ There was genuine interest in his eyes and face, and his voice had lightened from that dark huskiness.
Living with you.
But that wasn’t something she could share. It was so new and raw, so fragile, she could break if he didn’t treat her with care. And he had no reason to. She only had herself to blame for falling for him. ‘It’s still a work in progress.’
His face shut down, and he stood up, setting his glass aside. ‘Time I headed away. It’s been a long day.’
The fingers holding the stem of her glass whitened. ‘Sure. Good luck with the decision about the job.’
‘Yeah, it isn’t easy.’ He stood looking down at her, something very like need in his gaze, making her heart whack harder. But then he took a step away. And another, aiming for her back door. ‘Thanks for the drink.’
The door closed behind him with a soft click. He was gone. Again.
No way would Harrison take up the offer of a permanent position with the rescue service. ‘He’s just like my dad.’ Gulping a mouthful of champagne didn’t ease the pain, even as bubbles tingled on her tongue. ‘Never stopping in one place long enough to make friends.’ This had been a celebration that had turned to mud, but she wasn’t giving up. After pouring the last of the wine into her glass she leaned back on her chair and stared at the door, hearing that click over and over. Harrison had gone. She’d been the one to leave him on Sunday, and the result was the same. It hurt beyond what she’d ever known. Worse than when her parents broke up and her dad left for good. This was closer, was her pain. It broke her heart, that was what it did. Smashed it to smithereens, and there wasn’t a glue in the world that could hold it together now. ‘I want to follow you to the end of the earth, Harry, but I can’t. I would destroy both of us, living your way of life. It’s in me to move around non-stop and yet I hate doing it, hate the consequences. So I won’t do that, no matter what the cost.’
Si. Harry had called her Si. Tears welled up and spilled over, to run down her cheeks and drip off her jaw. She liked that. ‘I love you, Harrison Frost. I love you like I’ve never loved before. And won’t ever again. You are the one.’ She whispered these final sentences, afraid to say them too loud in case they ricocheted around the room for ever.