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“Hey,” Ryan called as he opened the screen door to the kitchen. “Mind if I come in?”
“It seems like you’re already here,” Kelly said with a smile. Happiness glowed inside her. “Coffee?”
“Great. I can get it.” He went to the correct cupboard for the mugs, then poured himself a cup of coffee. Leaning back on the counter, he asked, “What are you doing?”
“Making up some coffee cake for this afternoon. Maggie and Alex are coming over.”
“You have more talents than I could ever imagine. Baking eludes me. I’ve learned to cook a decent meal, but I have to rely on others for my sweet tooth.”
“Kids forced me to learn. It was one of the ways I could get them to sit down long enough to tell me about their day. But I’ll never be as good as Charlene. That woman is a goddess.”
“I think you are probably a great mom,” he said softly.
“I try.” She finally looked at him again. It was as if she’d never seen him before, and yet he was as familiar to her as her own hands. Grabbing the prepared baking pan, she poured the batter into it, then popped it into the oven.
“How are you doing?” he asked after she refilled her cup.
“I’m okay.” She wasn’t going to talk about the kiss. Kisses. She hadn’t made up her mind what she thought about them, so how could she?
“That’s good.”
The air crackled like dry heat before a thunderstorm.
“Do you want to go to dinner some night? There’s an off-beat place north of Kalispell I’ve wanted to try.”
“That would be nice. Thank you. I’d like that,” she said.
“Just like that? I don’t even have to work at it?” he said with a grin.
She gestured to the screen door. “Let’s sit outside.”
“Sure.”
She led him to the chairs, and they settled in to watch the bees buzz around the flowers.
“I really do need to get someone in to clean that up, maybe plant something a little more ornamental.”
“Oh, don’t do that,” Ryan said. “Yes, get someone to clean it up, but Henrietta was very deliberate in her plantings. She created a pollinator-friendly garden of perennials that attract bees, butterflies, and hummingbirds. You need to add some annuals, like petunias and such, but be careful to avoid hybrids.”
Kelly nodded. She could see it in her mind’s eye. Bees buzzing through the flowers, hummingbirds lingering in purple and pink petunia baskets hung on the porch. How like her grandmother. She never did anything that she didn’t think through and align with her values. She didn’t simply go along with anything that was trendy unless it served her purpose.
How often had Kelly gone along with what someone else said without thinking it through? Her mother’s training, no matter how good-intentioned, had led her to put more weight onto what other people said she should do than she did on her own thoughts. In fact, there were times she’d adopted what other people wanted for themselves until it became a driving need for her.
She remembered begging John for some very expensive jewelry that she’d seen on a woman, someone everyone looked up to and respected. However, when her husband had finally given in, she’d realized it didn’t suit her, and after a few times, she let it languish in her jewelry box.
Maybe that’s why she had to explore all her possibilities in Montana. She simply had no idea what she wanted to do, if she was truthful with herself. Who was she? Was the life she’d built with John a good representation? Or was the wide-eyed child with concert dreams the true spirit of herself?
She had absolutely no idea. For now, she was keeping an open mind.
“Do you have any idea how the electronics work in the barn?” she asked Ryan. “Maggie and Alex are coming over to discuss what would need to happen for the retreat center to open again.”
“You’re thinking of staying?” There was hope in his voice.
“I’m exploring. I still believe I’ll sell the center and go back.” And even if she did try to give it a go, that was a separate decision from whatever happened between her and Ryan. “My grandmother had a great deal of information on the computer. There are lots of wires and a console in her office, and it looks like a screen can be lowered on one of the barn walls. There had to be a way to project things so the three of us aren’t crowded into her office.”
He nodded. “Yep. Henrietta had a guy from LA—someone Betsy knew—come set it up. I’m pretty sure I know how it works.” He rose. “Let me go over and see what I can do. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to show you.”
“Thanks,” she said.
He waved and walked toward the barn with an easy gait.
She took a few deep breaths, rose, and went back into the house to continue her preparations for the day.
# # #
RYAN HAD EASILY HOOKED things up and showed her how they worked. Then, after extracting a date for their dinner, he went on his way. Alex and Maggie arrived shortly afterward.
“Wow, fancy,” Alex said, sitting at the table where Kelly had laid out the binders she’d found, a few folders, and a pad for each of them to take notes, just like she would have done for any organizational meeting she’d ever run. She’d even supplied a pitcher of ice water and glasses. Coffee was perking in the small kitchen, and the coffee cake and plates sat nearby.
“Well,” Kelly said, “I think we have a big job ahead of us.”
“I don’t know,” Maggie said. “Henrietta made it look easy.”
“That’s when you know that someone has the details down pat. Besides”—Kelly pushed a folder to Maggie—“open that.”
Maggie opened it, and Alex leaned in to see what was inside.
A heavy white cardstock with a brightly painted bird sat on top of what looked to be dozens of letters and cards. Maggie opened it and scanned it, her eyes widening as she looked at the signature.
“Oh, wow,” she said. “Isn’t this that actress that dropped out of sight for about a year?”
“You mean the one who was at the top of her game and then found out her husband had been cheating on her? The critics panned her movie. They said she cracked.”
“But then,” Kelly said, “she came back stronger than ever, but in totally different movies. She even began to direct and produce independent films. I don’t know what miracle my grandmother performed, but I’m quite sure I’m not up to the task.”
“Don’t give up before you’ve even tried,” Alex said, leafing through the rest of the letters.
Kelly had already been through them. Not only actors but musicians, famed artists, and writers were there, as well as many lesser-known talents. All had been grateful for what most called the sanctuary her grandmother had provided. Kelly had read through them all last night, becoming more and more overwhelmed by the project as she went on.
“Look,” Alex said when she’d read through a few of the letters, “you don’t have to be Henrietta. You just have to be you. Your grandmother believed that you had what it took to take over this place.” She gestured to all the things Kelly had done before they’d arrived. “It’s obvious you have a natural instinct for making people feel welcome and being ready for their arrival.”
“I’m not worried about the mechanics,” Kelly said. “I’m worried about the spirit.”
“Let it flow naturally,” Maggie said. “One thing I’ve learned from my airy-fairy mother is that things will come together in time. It’s no use forcing them. Of course, I wish both my mother and the universe would be a little speedier about completing their work.”
They chuckled. Maggie rose. “I’m getting coffee. Anyone else?”
The start of the meeting was delayed while her friends oohed and aahed over the cake and filled their coffee cups. But mindful of Maggie’s advice, Kelly tried to let the beginning of the meeting play out like it was going to do rather than force everyone to move according to her time schedule. After all, her friends were doing her a favor.
Eventually, they got back to it, and Kelly screened the information she’d found on the computer, which included lists, marketing plans, and a project plan for running a retreat. Unfortunately, it was a plan with a lot of holes in it, as was the schedule for the actual retreat itself. “Depends on the participants” was written in many of these blank pages.
“What am I supposed to do during these times?” Kelly asked.
Alex was scanning through one of the binders. “I think some of the answers might be in here.”
“I haven’t had a real chance to look at those. I mean, who does binders anymore? We’ve got phones and computers for everything.”
Alex shook her head. “Henrietta believed there was great value in putting pen to paper or paintbrush to canvas or fingers on strings and making a tune, even if there was nothing much to say. She told me once that it was the act of beginning that required great courage, and that performing the actions of your craft, even if you hated the result, was the way to get everything in concert to achieve magnificence.”
Maggie looked at her. “You never told me she said that. And I have no idea how you remembered all of it. That sounds exactly like something she would say.”
“It made a huge impact,” Alex said.
“I see that,” Maggie replied.
“But anyway,” Alex said. “This binder is full of her notes. She apparently kept reams of loose-leaf paper around and wrote out whatever she was struggling with. See here,”—she turned the book so Kelly could view the page—"she’s talking about two women who were coming to the retreat, women who had once been close friends but now hated each other. She’d invited them both deliberately.”
“She must have been out of her mind,” Maggie said.
“Maybe,” Alex said, “but you can see her thought process laid out here. There were a lot of massages that week, as well as healing ceremonies. Daily written exercises followed by a nightly fire where they burned everything they’d written. Everything was focused on cleansing and rebuilding.”
“I think I remember that week,” Maggie said. “People said there was a lot of screaming and yelling, too.”
What had she gotten herself into?
Well, she’d only promised to think about opening the retreat center, and it was clear she wouldn’t have to think about it very long.
“I know what you need to do,” Maggie said.
“What?” Kelly asked warily.
“You need to run a retreat.”
“That’s a great idea,” Alex said.
“That’s a horrible idea,” Kelly countered.
“No, really, open it to a few of the local artists. We’ll help you select a few who are struggling but genuinely nice people. Only do it for a few days. Then you’ll really have a good idea of what it’s like.”
“We’ll help you,” Alex said. “It’s the only way you’ll be able to come to an honest conclusion.”
Kelly looked at them. They were crazy. They were right, but they were crazy.
“You have to do it,” Maggie said. “For Henrietta’s sake.”
Kelly’s look turned into a glare. How dare her old friend play the sympathy card?
Alex smiled at her, an expression that said they had Kelly where they wanted her.
“Okay,” she finally said. “I’ll do it. And when I fall flat on my face, you’d better be there to pick up the pieces.”
