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The next morning Kelly headed to the barn right after breakfast. She was eager to get started. Scared to death but excited. Alex and Maggie had brainstormed a list of likely candidates and reasons why they might need some time for renewal. Kelly had decided to spend the morning researching them to see where they were on their journey and whether there might be synergy between some of them.
As she sat behind her grandmother’s desk, a new sense of purpose seem to fall over her. She knew what it was like to abandon a dream because of someone else’s influence and a sense of duty. Too many lives, especially women’s, were derailed by the twin pressures of expectation and obligation.
Ruth Anderson was the first on the list. Ruth, her friends had explained, was the chief cook at the elementary school. She was up at dawn, even in the coldest part of winter, and worked hard to bring nutritious lunches to children, a significant number of whom were members of a food-insecure household. When she wasn’t doing that, she was watching reruns of old murder mystery shows and creating delicate lace scarves and shawls with her water-reddened hands.
Basically, the woman needed some good old-fashioned TLC.
Pamela Cuzins was a nature photographer specializing in birds. Her images were fun and colorful, but the Whitefish galleries always tried to get her to take less, saying everyone with a camera was a photographer these days. She needed encouragement but also some sound strategies that allowed her to look beyond the local.
Susan Thomas was an odd choice. Her own website was non-existent, but she still appeared to be doing well.
There were a few more ideas, and Alex had asked to be there as a participant to see it from that point of view. Maggie would be available for help. She said she’d press her mother and daughter into extra service.
All Kelly had to do was pick four participants.
Her phone rang.
“Hey, Lisa. Good to hear from you. What’s up?”
“Oh, Mom,” Lisa descended into tears.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
“It’s ... over ... and it’s all my fault.” More crying, and Kelly couldn’t make out the next bit of whatever her daughter was saying. Then she heard, “Andrew’s parents ... not good enough for him...”
Whatever was going on was very wrong. Someone was trying to make her child take the blame for something that happened, a criticism that would impact Lisa’s sense of self-esteem. And that was not going to happen.
Not on Kelly’s watch.
If she could be there to help Lisa in person, it would be so much easier. “Lisa, sweetie, take a deep breath.”
A shuddering sigh came through the phone.
“Again.” Kelly waited a few seconds. “Now, just tell me the facts of what happened.”
“Andrew and I got into a big fight. He said things were moving too fast for him. He wanted a break. But ... he was ... I knew it, but I didn’t want it to be true.”
“Knew what, sweetheart?”
“He was working late ... all these hours. But there was a woman there ... with him. He says they haven’t done anything. But he’s attracted to her. And he wants to break up with me.” The last was a long sound that once again dissolved into sobs.
What Andrew had done was hurtful, but it was at least honest. Kelly, too, had privately thought things were going too fast, but she’d known better than to say anything.
“Okay,” she said, trying to find the right words that wouldn’t make it worse. “That hurts. I’m so sorry.”
“Why are you in Montana?” Lisa said. “You should be here. I need you.”
“You were the one who told me to go somewhere. At least I’m not in Italy.”
“Oh yeah.” There was an attempt at a giggle. “Silly me. When are you coming home?”
“Not for a few weeks yet. There are things I need to do yet.” Like run a retreat.
“What am I going to do?” Lisa asked.
“You could come here.”
“Not possible. I have to finish this job. I leave and it looks bad.”
At least her daughter was still thinking straight.
“But I can’t stay here.” Again the last word was long and drawn out, but Lisa held it together this time. “And I can’t afford to live anywhere else because I’m doing this internship for minimum wage. San Francisco is sooo expensive!”
“I’ll pay for it. You’ve only got another six weeks, right? How is the job going?”
“All right, I suppose. I’m just not sure this is what I want to do with the rest of my life.”
“Well, you still have two more years before you graduate. As long as it’s close to the same field, you should be able to transfer credits to a new major.”
“Not if it’s theater,” Lisa said softly.
“Theater? You can’t make a living in theater. It’s a fine avocation but not something you can use to build a life.”
“I knew that would be your reaction. You’ve never taken a risk. I think I’m good enough to make it. I want to take that risk. Even if it means dropping out of school. I hate computer science.”
“You’re upset,” Kelly said, trying to ignore the hurt clawing at her insides. Her daughter was just transferring her own feelings. That was all.
“I don’t know, Mom. I’m so mixed up. I thought I had it all figured out with Andrew, and now? He barely talks to me, and his parents have asked me to leave by the weekend.”
Kelly had always thought Andrew was a cold fish. Apparently, he came by it naturally.
“It sounds like the first thing to do is get a place of your own. You’ve said you’ll finish out the summer. That’s a good plan. Then we can discuss everything else when I get home at the end of August.”
“Thanks, Mom.” Lisa hesitated. “And, Mom? I’m sorry about what I said. You’re a great mom. You were always there for us. We were lucky.” She gave a tentative laugh. “I could have wound up with Andrew’s mother!”
Kelly smiled. Her life had been worthwhile, in spite of following the traditional path. Soon it would be time to go home, pick up the mantle of motherhood, and look forward to being a grandmother. There was no doubt Lisa would find the right man, someone who deserved her outgoing, loving daughter.
But it meant, no matter what, she was going to have to return to California. Running a retreat center in Montana was out of the question. She should end this now.
Then she looked at the names on the list again. These were good people, women struggling to make the world a more beautiful place. What if she did it anyway, even if it was a one-off? Everyone would benefit. She’d have a proof of concept that would help sell the property, the artists would get a week supporting each other, and Maggie? Well, maybe there would be time to push her old friend into at least talking to the poor sheriff.
“Hello!” Ryan’s voice boomed in the empty barn space.
“Hey!” With a smile she left the small office. When she reached him, there was a moment of awkwardness. If their relationship were further along, a kiss might work, but now? She fluttered her fingers. “Coffee?”
“Love some.” He smiled, looking relieved that she’d figured out what to do.
She already knew he liked it black. Milk was too difficult to get if he ran out in his cabin high in the mountains. And sugar without milk? That was simply wrong, according to Ryan.
“What brings you by?” she asked as she handed him the mug.
“I brought lunch,” he said, holding up a tote bag that proudly proclaimed Culver’s General Store. “Elaine made Reubens today. All I need to do is heat them up in Henrietta’s panini pan, and they’re ready to go.”
“My grandmother had a panini pan?”
“She had everything. She loved to cook, you know. Before she married your grandfather, she’d spent a year at a culinary institute in California. But then she got pregnant with your mother, married, and they came to Montana in an effort to live off the land. A lot of young people wound up here on the same quest.”
“I didn’t know that.” Maybe that’s why her grandmother was so intent on her following her dream. Her stomach growled, and she realized how hungry she was. It must be later than she thought. There were no clocks in the large barn space. She suspected that was a deliberate oversight.
They went back to the kitchen in the house, where Ryan quickly found the pan. He certainly knew his way around this kitchen. He must have spent a lot of time with her grandmother.
Was Ryan the one her grandmother had meant when she talked about the possibility of true love?
She watched him prepare the sandwiches with practiced ease. He was comfortable to be around, and she didn’t feel the need to take over that she’d often felt when John attempted to bungle around the kitchen. She trusted Ryan here.
What had that to do with love?
Probably everything.
“Any word on the phone?” she asked.
“He’s got a major work project this week. He said he won’t get to it until next week or the one after.”
“Oh.”
“Sometimes bad news can wait,” Ryan said as he put the plated sandwiches on the table.
“It could be good news,” she countered. “It’s probably an extra work phone. I’m imagining things.”
“I hope so. Dig in while they’re hot.”
She took a bite. The corned beef, sauerkraut, and dressing melded together perfectly with the marbled rye. Ryan was smiling.
“Told you,” he said as he took a big bite of his own sandwich.
They ate in relative silence, mainly interrupted by moans of culinary ecstasy. There was even a kosher pickle to cleanse the richness of the dressing.
She leaned back and placed her hand on her stomach. “Oh my. I don’t think I can do another thing today.”
He laughed, stood, and picked up the plates.
“I’ll do the dishes,” she protested. “You cooked.”
“It won’t take long,” he said. “That will give you a chance to look at this.” He slid a folded piece of paper across the table.
“What is it?”
“It’s a final list of repairs that need to be done. Some I can fix, but for a few of them you need specialists. Unfortunately, I noticed a new problem with the plumbing in the Athena cabin. I think it’s been there for a long time. When I went back in to fix it, the whole thing fell apart in my hand. Then I traced the water line back to the main pump and discovered that was leaking as well. The whole thing needs replacing.”
“And that means it needs to be dug up.”
“And it means a real plumber,” he said.
“It’s going to be expensive.”
“I’m afraid so.”
She sighed and put her head in her hands. For a day that had started out so bright and shiny, it had sure turned cloudy fast. First Lisa’s crisis, now this. Both things were going to take a chunk from her savings.
The sooner she got back home to her paycheck, the better.
