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Kelly’s shoulders ached as she awaited the first person to arrive for the retreat. Alex had told her she’d be late because of a rush job for a valued customer. That meant Kelly was waiting for one of two strangers or Susan.
The sound of gravel crunching under a vehicle’s tires made her stand up and walk toward the parking lot. A tall, robust woman with fine blond hair in a nondescript cut climbed out of the driver’s side. Without noticing Kelly, she opened the back seat and yanked out a gray duffle bag with ease.
“Ruth?” Kelly asked.
“That’d be me,” Ruth said with a generous smile. She held out the unencumbered hand. “I’m so glad you’re doing this. I’ve wanted to be in one of Henrietta’s retreats for years.”
“Welcome. I’ve put you in the Terpsichore cabin. She was the goddess of poetry and dancing.” Maggie and Alex had strategized with her to determine which guest to put in which cabin.
Ruth nodded. “I do love to kick up my heels, so that will be good.”
“Feel free,” Kelly said. “There’s a great stereo system and a good-sized dance floor with that cabin.”
“Cool!” Ruth looked around. “Am I the first?”
Gravel kicked up under a heavy vehicle rapidly coming down the drive.
“Not for long,” Kelly said.
A black aging pickup roared into the lot and slammed to a stop.
Susan jumped down and strode in their direction. “Hi, Kelly, um ...”
“I’m Ruth.” The knitter held out her hand, which was rough from hours spent cleaning in the school kitchen.
Susan took it and shook it vigorously. “Good to meet you.” Then she seemed to run out of words and dropped Ruth’s hand.
“Let’s get you settled,” Kelly said. “I’ve laid out some snacks and towels in your rooms. We won’t get started officially for another hour, so feel free to relax or take a walk around the grounds. The one thing I ask is that you don’t get on your cell phones. This is a retreat, which means it’s your time, not available for anyone else.”
“Okay dokey,” Susan said, then went back to her truck to pull out an old army bag.
Didn’t anyone use proper luggage up here? Kelly led the pair to their respective cabins, grabbed a cup of coffee she didn’t need, and waited for the next guest. As she waited, she watched Susan and Ruth emerge from their cabins, chat, and walk toward the firepit.
The sight lessened a bit of her anxiety.
Julia showed up minutes before the requested arrival. As soon as she emerged from her car, Kelly could see what Ryan had meant. From the way she held her body and the hypervigilance of her eyes darting around, it was clear that the woman’s trust had been badly broken.
Kelly wished she were the miracle worker her grandmother had been.
“Hello, Julia,” she said softly.
“Oh, hello. Am I too late?”
“No, you’re right on time. Let me take you to your cabin. It’s named after Euterpe, the goddess of music.”
“I hope she provides inspiration,” Julia said. “I haven’t been able to write anything for months.”
“That’s why you’re here,” Kelly said. “It’s a time to rest and recharge. Don’t force anything to come.”
“What happens first?” Julia asked.
“We’ll have a meet and greet, a light supper, then an hour to ourselves before meeting in the barn for our first session.”
“Are you doing this too?” Julia asked. “What do you do, I mean, besides this?”
Kelly hesitated for a moment. Her friends had encouraged her to go through the same exercises as the participants. It would be the best way for her to understand the guests’ emotional toll. But she wasn’t ready to declare herself an artist.
“I’m a middle school music teacher,” she said. “I used to have dreams of being a concert pianist.”
“Oh,” Julia said, but her eyes lost a little of their scared rabbit look, replaced by compassion.
Kelly suddenly felt like she’d stepped on thin ice.
“Well, let’s get you settled,” she said, coming up with a professional smile.
# # #
SUPPER HAD BEEN A PLEASANT affair, with everyone on their best behavior. She and Alex made sure they talked to everyone, although Alex seemed to have more success with Julia than Kelly had.
“What am I supposed to do with myself all weekend?” Ruth asked as they were cleaning up from supper. “I’m used to sitting down with my murder mysteries and knitting for hours on end. But you don’t have a television.”
“No, but there is music, and each cabin has a screened-in porch so you can sit and let nature tell you its secrets,” Kelly said with a smile.
“I’m no tree hugger,” Ruth declared. She glanced over at Julia. “What’s her story? She’s like a shy mouse. She reminds me of one of my students.” Ruth’s brows furrowed. “This little boy, he’s tough and fragile all wrapped into one. Rumor is, his parents drink a lot and the father is a mean drunk.”
“She’ll need to let us know what she wants to share,” Kelly said. “But back to you. In the far corner of the barn, there’s a small library of paperbacks—quite a varied selection. I think I’ve seen some mysteries in there. Several of them look like books you might like, where the detective is a knitter or a weaver or something like that.”
“Hmm. I’ll have to look into them. Thanks.”
Kelly smiled. It was one of the techniques they’d found in her grandmother’s journals. Almost everyone had a withdrawal from electronics. Books and music were a bridge to eventually developing the ability to be quiet. On longer retreats, her grandmother had had several sections of quiet time when the only activities were sitting or walking without conversation.
Kelly didn’t think she’d be able to handle that herself.
After supper, she returned to the house, grateful for some time to herself. Beside the door was a cardboard box. “Do not open until after retreat, Ryan” was scrawled across the top.
She scooped it up on her way inside and dropped it on the table. Although she was curious, she didn’t have the energy to deal with whatever was inside it. She went upstairs and sat in the rocking chair for a bit, staring out at the view.
Why was she doing this retreat at all? Her answer to Ryan was inadequate. No way should she be doing something this big because someone else wanted it. What she needed to do was prepare to go back to California. School started in less than a month, and there were required meetings, bulletin boards to create, and lesson plans to write. Even that wasn’t giving the district much time.
But here she was, running a retreat and worrying about a relationship that had no future.
Had she totally messed things up with Ryan? Who was to say anything would even become of a relationship between them? She’d left him behind as a teen, but it had left an empty spot in her soft teenage heart. Would it become unbearable when she left again?
The ache inside her grew at the thought. Was she falling in love with him? Was that why returning to California was proving to be too difficult? But what were the alternatives? She could be a total failure at running her grandmother’s business. What would she do with her life then?
Her wristwatch buzzed. She shook off her own problems. This time was about others. After washing up and running a brush through her hair, she headed to the firepit.
Ruth was the only one there. She was staring steadfastly at the lake, but the expression on her face was anything but peaceful.
“Oh, hi,” she said when Kelly joined her.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Kelly asked, gesturing to the lake.
“Boring. I’ve never understood what all the fuss is about scenery.”
“But you live here.”
Ruth’s smile turned genuine. “Pure laziness. My husband and I moved up here when we were first married. He died in a logging accident about ten years after we got here. I’d already landed the job at the school and didn’t want look anywhere else. It suits me. I like the kids—as long as they’re not my own.”
“I’m sorry about your husband.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago. We loved each other well enough, but I’ve never felt the need to find another one. I heard you were recently widowed. How are you doing with that?”
Rather than give a flip answer, Kelly checked in with herself. “Okay, I suppose. It’s starting to feel more normal. But at the same time, I’m wondering if I even knew him at all.”
“That’s what makes people fascinating,” Ruth said. “How well do you really know someone? Do they even know themselves?” She shrugged. “I’m not sure.”
Susan strode into the space and plunked herself into the nearest chair. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with all this time to myself. Lets me think too much.”
“Why don’t you want to think?” Kelly asked gently.
Susan shot her a glance. “You do know I served in the army, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“The memories aren’t always good ones.”
Kelly felt like a jerk. Her sheltered life hadn’t let in the horrors Susan must have dealt with.
“It must have been hard,” Ruth said. “My late husband served a few years. He never talked about it, but there were many nights he couldn’t sleep.”
“What did he do?” Susan asked.
“He’d watch old episodes of Perry Mason. He told me they were great because there wasn’t any real bloodshed and the bad guy always got his due. Everything was neatly tied up in a package.”
“And war seems to go on and on,” Susan said softly. “Old Perry Masons, huh?”
“Yeah. We started making it a habit before going to bed, and he slept better. After he died, I branched out to some of the others. Murder She Wrote puts me to sleep all the time.”
Susan laughed. “I’ll have to try them.”
Trust the wisdom of the group. Her grandmother had written that several times in her journals.
As the evening wore on, Kelly saw more and more of that wisdom in action. Susan relaxed a bit as she found common ground with Ruth. Alex slowly coaxed Julia from her shell. And Julia tested Kelly as she probed into Kelly’s past dreams. At the end, they all sounded tired but freer.
It was Ruth who suggested the group hug. As she slipped within the circle of women’s arms, Kelly was aware of their spirits infusing her with newfound hope.