Caroline had been strangely quiet on their long drive through the Cornish lanes, only truly coming alive once they’d passed Bodmin. From there, she peered out from the cramped back seat of Cameron’s car, exclaiming in delight at the beautiful, rugged landscape of the moors on either side. When they finally got out at Thornton Hall, she gave Selina’s arm a squeeze, breathless with excitement. ‘Oh, Selly … What a place! And you live here now. How lucky you are.’
‘Lucky, you call it? I’d rather not live here and have my sister still alive,’ Selina said, smarting at Caro’s remark.
‘Of course you would.’ Her friend blenched. ‘I’m sorry, that was a thoughtless thing to say. Please forgive me.’
Now Selina felt bad. ‘There’s nothing to forgive.’ She turned to Cameron, who had been unloading their bags. ‘Thank you ever so much for driving me home. And for agreeing to bring Caroline too. All I ever seem to do is ask favours of you. You must be heartily sick of it.’
He shook his head, smiling as he effortlessly carried their bags into the house for them, one under each arm. ‘Not a bit. You’re very welcome, both of you. But I’d better get back to my sister’s. We left Porthcurno rather later than I’d planned, and I imagine she’ll be worrying where I’ve got to.’ He turned and shook both their hands before adding, ‘Goodbye.’
His manner was friendly, Selina had to admit, yet somehow cool and impersonal too, quite as though they’d never kissed at the farm. She wished Caroline wasn’t there so she could talk to him properly. But she felt too awkward in front of her friend.
As he drove away, his tyres spitting gravel, there was a cry of ‘Aunt Selly!’ from upstairs, and Selina looked up to see three children descending the stairs. Peter came skipping down, his face lit up, clearly relieved to see her. By contrast, his sister Jemima seemed almost glum. She was holding Faith’s hand, helping the little girl totter carefully down the broad staircase.
‘Hello, children.’ Selina shook Peter’s hand, then Jemima’s, and bent to embrace Faith. ‘How have you been while I was away? Behaving yourselves, I hope.’ She ruffled Faith’s hair, noting uneasily that the youngest child also seemed unhappier than when she’d left. ‘What’s the matter? Has something happened?’
‘Martha smacked Faith and made her cry,’ Peter said at once, and an angry flush crept into his thin cheeks. ‘All because she didn’t want her bath yesterday evening. Martha said she had to take a bath every night, and when Faith refused, she smacked her hand.’ He sucked in a breath. ‘Twice.’
‘She did what?’ Selina was horrified. ‘Tell me you’re joking.’
But Jemima shook her head. ‘It’s true. We were both there, up in the nursery. Peter was reading a book out loud to us while Faith and I built a tower of bricks. Martha came in and kicked the tower over. She was in a stinking m-m-mood,’ she stammered, tears in her eyes. ‘I don’t know why, but she was. And when Faith said she wasn’t ready for her bath yet, Martha grabbed her hand and smacked her.’
Faith pointed dolefully to her right hand. There was no mark on her fair skin, thank goodness, but her mouth turned upside-down and quivered as she too trembled on the point of tears. ‘It hurt,’ she whispered.
‘Then the horrid beast dragged her away to her bath,’ Jemima went on furiously, ‘and all we could hear was Faith crying and crying in the bathroom until she was almost sick.’
‘Good God.’ Caroline’s startled gaze met Selina’s. ‘Who on earth is this “Martha”? She sounds like a right tinpot tyrant.’
‘She is,’ Peter agreed, and promptly held out his hand, as they hadn’t been introduced yet. ‘I’m Peter March, by the way. Who are you?’
‘Caroline,’ she replied simply, and they shook hands. ‘I’m your aunt’s friend. I’m just here for a few days, then I’ll be going back on the train.’
‘Trains are spiffing,’ Peter said enthusiastically.
‘Yes, they are,’ Caroline agreed with a grin before turning to shake Jemima’s hand, and to say, ‘Hello, pleased to meet you,’ to Faith too. She stroked the little girl’s hand gently. ‘Though I’m sorry to hear this Martha was beastly to you. She sounds mean. I hope your hand’s not still hurting.’
Faith shook her head dolefully.
Repressing the impulse to march upstairs and remonstrate with Martha straightaway, Selina suggested they should run and fetch Mrs Hawley for her, as her friend Miss Ponsby needed to be shown to a guest room.
While the children ran off gleefully in the direction of the kitchen, she turned to Caroline for some much-needed advice. ‘That awful woman … The children’s nanny, you understand.’
‘Yes, I guessed as much. What a horror she sounds.’
‘I already had to speak to her recently about her behaviour. Now this … What on earth should I do, do you think? I can’t allow her to get away with smacking the children. And Faith is such a dear. How on earth could anyone treat her so badly?’
‘I don’t know. But I’m afraid you’ll have to sack her.’
Selina was aghast. ‘Sack her?’ she repeated, a cold feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. She had never sacked anyone in her life. But Caroline was right. She had the children’s welfare to think about. She was their guardian and couldn’t let her sister down. ‘Oh dear … Though it’s what Bella would have done, I suppose. She doted on her babies.’
‘And I’m sure you’ll find a new nanny,’ Caro said reassuringly.
‘Yes.’ Selina was filled with fresh determination. ‘I shall go and speak to her at once. No point putting it off.’ But inside, she was churning with anxiety.
She didn’t much like Martha and was certain the nanny had never liked her in return. Now, she would have to confront her about this latest misdemeanour. After all, the girl could hardly be left alone with her nieces and nephew again.
As Caroline fell in beside her, she asked nervously, ‘Should I turn her away at once or serve a notice?’
‘She should leave straightaway.’ Caroline sounded very certain. ‘Smacking a child that young? She shouldn’t be left in charge of them even a day longer.’
Selina was thrown by the idea of immediately looking after the three children herself, but knew Caroline was right. And it was surprisingly hard to rein in her temper, especially when she saw Martha emerge from a side room and felt a surge of heat in her cheeks, thinking what the awful woman had done to little Faith.
‘Will you be all right on your own for a few minutes?’ she asked Caroline.
Her friend squeezed her hand. ‘Of course, you do what needs to be done.’ She leaned across, whispering in her ear, ‘Do you want me to come with you?’
‘No, but thank you,’ Selina told her with more confidence than she felt. Then she turned to Martha. ‘I need to speak to you alone,’ she said sharply, indicating the study where she had spoken to the nanny before. On that occasion, they had seemed to come to an agreement about how to deal with the children going forward, but clearly the nanny had her own ideas.
Martha arched her brows in faint hauteur, but followed Selina into the study without protest. ‘Is there a problem, Miss Tiptree?’ she asked, her tone insolent.
Selina felt her hands tighten into fists, her heart thumping uncomfortably. ‘Jemima tells me you smacked Faith while I was away. She wouldn’t take her bath, apparently, so you physically chastised her.’ She had meant to stay calm and professional, but now that she was face-to-face with the perpetrator of this crime, Selina found it hard to speak in a temperate manner. ‘Well?’ she demanded when Martha said nothing, merely tossing her head and pursing her lips. ‘Is it true?’ She heard her voice shake with an emotion she couldn’t quite suppress. ‘And if it is, what have you to say for yourself?’
‘Miss?’
‘Don’t you Miss me!’ Selina exploded, and saw the young woman’s lips curl in derision. ‘You smacked a four-year-old child!’
‘She’s nearly five. And not too young to be taught right from wrong,’ Martha whipped back at her. ‘I was busy and she was giving me the runaround. What did you expect me to do?’
‘Busy? Looking after Faith is your job. And I certainly don’t condone you smacking a child who’s merely being a little difficult.’ Selina drew a deep breath, trying to regain control of her temper. She could hardly claim the moral high ground when ranting at a member of staff. ‘Besides, what do you expect of a girl her age who has just lost her mother? If she was being difficult, she has some excuse, don’t you think?’
‘That was weeks ago,’ Martha said sullenly.
Selina stared at the nanny in amazement, wondering why on earth she’d taken on such work when she appeared to lack all empathy.
‘I spoke to you once before about how you were handling the children, and it was clear to me on that occasion that you resented my interference. I hoped you would come to respect me as your new employer, given that my sister appointed me guardian to her children. But I can see that hope was useless. Also, you seem singularly unsuited to looking after a child as young as Faith.’ She drew a deep breath. ‘Therefore, I am relieving you of your duties. You are dismissed, and I would be grateful if you would pack your bags and leave Thornton Hall in the morning.’ She paused as the girl stared at her, her mouth falling open in surprise. ‘I shall ask Mr MacGregor to make sure your wages are paid to the end of the month. Given your behaviour, I feel that is more than generous.’
‘You can’t sack me!’ Martha burst out.
‘Yes, I can. My late sister left the care of her children entirely up to me, and I no longer require your services. You are dismissed.’ She thrust her shaking hands behind her back and nodded to the study door. ‘I suggest you go and pack.’
‘But Mr MacGregor—’
‘Mr MacGregor was left to oversee the estate, not the welfare of my nieces and nephew. He has already indicated that he will cede any family decisions to me. Which includes the hiring and firing of nannies, trust me.’
Martha stared at her another few seconds, bright red in the face, looking as though she’d been slapped. Then she stamped away, leaving the door wide open. ‘We’ll just see about that,’ she threw back in a choking voice, and disappeared towards the servants’ quarters.
‘Oh Lord …’ Selina bent her head, breathing shallow. All her life, she had spoken her mind freely – too freely, some might say – but she had not enjoyed that. Not one little bit.
Caroline hurried into the study, looking concerned. ‘Selly? Are you all right?’ She seized Selina’s trembling hands and squeezed them. ‘How did she take it? What did she say?’
‘She wasn’t very pleased,’ Selina admitted with a hoarse laugh, but managed a smile as the three children ran into the room, with Mrs Hawley following. ‘Hello, my darlings. Good news. I’ve spoken to the dreaded Martha about her smacking you, Faith, and we have agreed she doesn’t suit us as a nanny anymore. She’ll be leaving in the morning.’
Faith’s eyes grew round as saucers. Peter cheered. Jemima gave a heartfelt sigh and smiled at her tremulously. ‘Thank you, Aunt Selly,’ the girl whispered, clutching her little sister’s hand.
Mrs Hawley folded her arms at her waist and nodded. ‘Very good, Miss Tiptree,’ she said with an air of increased respect. ‘I thought it might be time that good-for-nothing girl found a new position. Ever since the loss of your sister, she’s been giving herself airs above her station.’
‘What Mrs Hawley’s trying to say is, good riddance to bad rubbish,’ Peter said, and they all laughed.
Selina woke the next day full of trepidation. What had she done? Dismissing the nanny had been madness. What did she know about looking after children? But upon going down to breakfast, she found the children in high spirits and Mrs Hawley bustling about them, seemingly happy enough with the new situation. Caroline, who claimed to have passed a restful night in the guest room, came down in trousers rather than a skirt, and Peter looked at her with new approval.
‘I don’t know why girls are always wearing skirts and dresses anyway,’ Peter remarked, buttering himself a second slice of toast. ‘Pass the jam, would you, Aunt Selly?’ He glanced out of the window. ‘It makes it awfully hard to climb trees, and I like climbing trees.’
‘You’re a boy,’ Jemima said scornfully. ‘You’ll never be forced to wear a skirt or dress. Unlike me.’
‘Now, go easy on that jam, Master Peter,’ Mrs Hawley warned him, carrying in the tea tray. ‘We’re running low. So many empty shelves in the shops these days, Miss,’ she added to Selina. ‘It’s shocking. Though come summer’s end, we’ll have a dozen jars of home-made jam in the pantry, God willing.’
‘Home-made jam is the best,’ Jemima agreed, looking the most cheerful Selina had seen her in a while. Perhaps she too was feeling better for the absence of the nanny.
‘Peter has a treehouse,’ Selina told Caroline, and winked at the boy across the table. ‘Perhaps you could show our guest your lofty domain this morning, Peter.’
He studied Caroline dubiously. ‘Mother never came to look at it. Do you climb trees?’
‘I love climbing trees,’ Caroline told him with a grin. ‘So long as they’re not too tall, that is. Besides, as you say, I’m dressed for it.’
Faith was kicking her feet back-and-forth, humming to herself as she ate her jammy mess of porridge.
‘How are you feeling this morning, Faith?’ Selina asked gently.
Faith looked up at her uncertainly, porridge dripping off her spoon onto the tablecloth.
‘Would you like to see Peter’s treehouse too?’ Caroline asked her, bending forward.
Faith nodded enthusiastically. ‘Yes, pweese.’
‘What? She’s too young to climb trees,’ Peter exclaimed, looking horrified at the thought of his small sister invading his special place.
‘Pweese, pweese,’ Faith repeated, kicking her feet back and forth more violently.
Jemima frowned at her sister. ‘Stop making such a racket, Faith.’
Faith kicked even harder, glaring at her sister.
‘Faith, dearest,’ Selina said diplomatically, ‘I think that noise is giving Caroline a headache. And then she won’t be able to take you to see the treehouse, will she?’
This ploy worked. Faith instantly stopped kicking and returned to eating her porridge. And Caroline flashed her a quick secret smile that seemed to say, ‘Well done.’
After breakfast, Selina and Caroline enjoyed a long gossipy chat in the morning room. Then she retrieved the children from the nursery where Peter and Jemima had been squabbling over the best way to teach Faith her letters, and the five of them trooped out into the woodlands to visit Peter’s treehouse. Selina wasn’t keen on climbing trees, so she stayed firmly at ground level. She sat with Faith on the green earth and watched while Caroline, Jemima and Peter climbed the tree with varying degrees of ease, and disappeared inside the treehouse, an elaborate affair of ropes and planks that creaked and shifted as the three of them moved about inside.
‘Good morning,’ a voice said coolly from behind her.
Selina jumped in surprise, seeing Helen and Cameron Bourne a few feet away. It was a fine day and Cameron’s shirt sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and his tie loosened.
He looked rather handsome in a careless way and she found herself blushing as their eyes met. She had been trying to forget the kiss they’d shared the night of Alice’s wedding, but it was difficult, and she knew she was in danger of developing a crush on her neighbour.
‘Hello,’ she replied awkwardly, getting up. ‘Were you coming to see me?’
‘We called at the house and Mrs Hawley told us where to find you.’ Helen Bourne was gazing up at the treehouse. ‘Goodness, how many people are up there? It looks awfully dangerous. Ought to have been torn down years ago, if you ask me.’
Cameron came forward to shake hands with Selina. ‘Out here on your own with the kids? That’s brave of you. Where’s the nanny?’
‘I sacked her,’ Selina admitted.
‘Good God.’ Helen Bourne gazed round at her blankly. ‘Whatever for?’
‘I didn’t feel she was particularly good at her job,’ Selina told them coolly. ‘I wrote her a reference, of course, and advised her to be nicer in her next job. But she left before breakfast this morning. We’ll all be happier without her, I’m sure.’ As Jemima began to climb down from the treehouse, Selina hurried to stand beneath her in case the girl fell. ‘Careful, Jemima. Take it slowly.’
Inevitably though, the girl’s foot slipped and Selina only just caught her. She staggered back and was glad when Cameron steadied her.
‘I hate to say I told you so,’ Helen said icily, ‘but I told you so. It’s a miracle none of them have broken their necks yet.’
‘Hey up there,’ Cameron shouted, laughing when Peter poked his head down through the leafy branches. ‘You’d better come down, I’m afraid. My sister won’t be easy until she knows you’re safely on the ground.’
Peter climbed down without mishap, landing in front of Helen and giving her a supercilious look. ‘I was just showing my treehouse to Aunt Selly’s friend,’ he informed the Bournes. ‘Caroline’s a good sort. She’s a Land Girl, did you know? Just like Aunt Selly was.’
‘That’s Miss Ponsby to you,’ Selina corrected him swiftly.
With a shrug, Peter went on, ‘Jemima says she’d like to be a Land Girl too. Though she can never get out of bed in the mornings, so she’d be no good at it, would she? Miss Ponsby says Land Girls have to get up ever so early. Before it’s even light some days.’
At that moment, Caroline climbed down too, almost as agile as Peter. There was a smudge of green on one cheek, her fair hair in disarray. She said a cheery hello to Cameron, but encountered a hostile stare from Helen that made her stammer, ‘How … How do you do? You must be Cameron’s sister. I’m Caroline Ponsby.’
Looking her up and down with disgust, her gaze particularly lingering on Caroline’s trousers, Helen ignored her outstretched hand and turned back to Selina. ‘You know your own business, of course. But I’d advise you not to encourage the children in climbing such a tall tree. Jemima could have been seriously hurt just now. No doubt you think it’s amusing, risking their lives, but I doubt Bella would have approved,’ she finished.
Her spirits at a new low, Selina said nothing to that, but asked, ‘Would you like to walk up to the house with us? It’s nearly lunchtime. Perhaps you’d like to stay for something to eat?’
To her relief, Helen glanced at her watch and shook her head. ‘I’m sorry but I’ve just remembered an appointment this afternoon. Perhaps another day?’ She glanced at her brother. ‘If you’d like to stay and have lunch, you must. I can walk back alone, don’t worry about me.’ Though her tone implied the opposite.
With a hesitant look at Selina, Cameron took the hint. ‘No, of course I’ll walk back with you.’ He took his sister’s arm and said a friendly goodbye to the rest of them.
Once they’d gone, Selina and Caroline strolled back to the house with the children, where the kids stampeded away, apparently returning to the nursery.
‘Look after Faith, you two, and make sure you all wash your hands and faces before lunch,’ Selina called after them and then trudged into the morning room where she collapsed onto the sofa. ‘Good Lord … It’s only been one morning and already I’m exhausted. What was I thinking, letting the nanny go? Those three have so much energy, I’ll never keep up.’
Caroline came and sat beside her. ‘You’ll be fine,’ she said firmly, and took her hand. ‘I believe in you, Selly. You always achieve what you set out to do. You get things done.’ Her face was glowing with a strange light. ‘And seeing you with those kids just now … I think you’ll make a wonderful mother.’
Touched, Selina felt tears springing to her eyes. ‘Really? Because I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I’m just lurching from one day to the next, and hoping for the best.’
‘But that’s what everyone does,’ Caroline pointed out. ‘That’s what we’ve all been doing since that awful day in the summer of ’39 when we first heard we were at war. We muddled through and somehow our side won. Now we have to fix everything that got broken. But we can do it. Just as you can do this, even though it’s hard work and you’ve never done it before.’ She hesitated. ‘You just have to let love guide you.’
‘Love?’
‘Of course.’ Caroline nodded, watching her closely. ‘You loved your sister, and now you’ll love her children.’ A tear trembled on one of her sandy lashes and she blinked it away, choking as she added, ‘Oh, Selly, you are the most wonderful person.’ She took a shuddering breath, then finished in a rush, ‘I didn’t mean to say anything, and I hope you won’t hate me forever for this, but I … I love you.’
‘Sorry?’
Caroline swallowed, then whispered, ‘I said, I love you.’
Selina stared at her and didn’t know how to respond. At first, she thought Caroline must be talking in general terms about friendship and sisterly affection. But that throb in her voice …
A numb shock ran through her and she sat very still, struggling for the right words. The words that wouldn’t smash their friendship to bits. Was Caroline saying she was in love with her? The same way a woman fell in love with a man? She was, wasn’t she? Selina blushed and didn’t know where to look. Gently, not wanting to hurt her feelings, she disengaged her hand from Caroline’s. She wanted them to stay friends but couldn’t, in all conscience, give Caro the mistaken idea that she felt the same way. Because, much as she held her friend in warm affection, she didn’t and never could love her like that.
But how best to say so without breaking her heart?
In the end, it was Caroline who broke the silence. ‘Oh golly, I … I knew I shouldn’t have said anything,’ she admitted, stumbling over her words. ‘But there’s no point pretending anymore. I do love you, Selina, though I’ve tried ever so hard not to. I can’t seem to shake it. And now you’re falling in love with Cameron Bourne instead.’ There was despair in her voice. ‘I suppose you could do worse. But does he know who you are deep down inside, Selly? Will he ever know the real you?’
Unsure what on earth she meant by that, Selina said with difficulty, ‘I’m not falling in love with Cameron Bourne … I don’t think so, anyway. And I’ll always be your friend, I hope you know that. But I can’t feel the same way.’ She touched her friend’s hand. ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Don’t be,’ Caroline said simply. ‘I never thought you would. I just couldn’t leave without telling you the truth.’
Feeling awful, Selina leaned over to give her a big hug. They held each other in silence for a moment, then she sat back with a wobbly smile. ‘Honestly, I’m glad you did. It was very brave of you. And I hope one day you find someone who’ll make you truly happy.’ She gave a cracked laugh. ‘Someone nicer than me.’
Caroline said nothing but looked away. There was a solitary tear running down her cheek.
Life, Selina thought, watching her guiltily, could be so cruel sometimes. But Caroline was right about one thing. The only way to get through the hard times was with love.