Every square inch of the sky seemed crammed with stars. She’d had no idea. Living in Sydney where the bright lights polluted the night sky, she could only see twenty or so. Here, they went on forever. Tipping her head back, Sarah let her eyes roam from horizon to horizon.
‘Wow,’ she said as her neck began to ache. ‘This must never get old.’
‘You’re right,’ said Sam. ‘It doesn’t.’
They’d spent the evening cruising along the Thomson River on the paddle wheeler, the only one west of the Great Divide so she’d been told. Birds flocked to roost along the riverbank as the sun set, their cries filling the night air with a strange melancholy for the day’s end.
Sam had apologised for bringing her on a touristy first date. She sincerely didn’t mind, finding a soothing old world beauty in the way the golden light from the boat reflected on the river. The experience transported her to another time and place far out of her own, ordinary life and she was grateful for it.
The fact Sam had thoughtfully brought a bottle of wine helped with more than the atmosphere. The shiraz also took the edge off her nerves. Chatting to him over email had been easy. The keyboard and screen had acted like shields, protecting her from rejection. She knew that sense of safety had been an illusion, yet sitting close to him felt dangerous in a way that made her blood thrum with excitement.
The paddle boat ride had been a stroke of genius. Filled with other tourists, the guides had pointed out natural features and told stories about the area which made finding things to talk about much easier than if they’d been sitting alone in a restaurant. Sam had added to the guide’s information with tales of his own, pointing out where he’d gone fishing as a kid or telling her about the time he and his friends had built a raft in a Huckleberry Finn moment that hadn’t ended well.
He made her laugh.
Here, on the river, she’d been at ease in her own skin in a way that had eluded her in Sydney. As if the vast openness of the land was big enough to absorb all her doubts and anxieties, leaving her free of the burden of them. Having a handsome, charming man to look at didn’t hurt either. It helped that he was as good-looking as his dating profile picture had promised. Those blue eyes of his had a way of looking right into her soul that was startling, like he saw her. He really saw her.
What she liked best were the lulls in conversation when the warm night air wrapped around them both, cocooning them in their own little world and words weren’t needed. Even the other guests disappeared. She’d never experienced anything quite like it before, and certainly never with Greg.
They’d gone ashore for dinner around a campfire while a barefoot bush poet recited entertaining rhymes. Sarah hadn’t heard bush poetry since she’d been at high school where they’d studied Banjo Paterson and Henry Lawson. Listening to the poems while sitting beneath the canopy of stars gave her a sense of why those men had loved this land. Banjo Paterson had written his much-beloved Australian folksong ‘Waltzing Matilda’ at a Dagworth cattle station out near Winton. Suddenly the song had a layer of meaning she hadn’t understood before.
How could you describe the majesty of this place? She couldn’t find the words to capture the sense of timelessness surrounding her, as if something vast and ancient held them in the palm of its hands. Did Sam feel the same way about the land? She wanted to ask him as she watched his profile in the firelight. The right moment refused to present itself. Such a deep question for a night of light and laughter.
Before she knew it, they had moved on to a sound and light presentation showcasing the Kinnon family and other locals, along with the notorious Captain Starlight, a legendary cattle rustler.
The evening didn’t offer much by way of chat time for the two of them. Sarah found she didn’t mind. The easy companionship she’d found with Sam, along with the entertainment and other guests, allowed her to relax and enjoy his company. No intensity. No pressure. She knew the basics about him and he knew the basics about her. Now they could fill in the details at their leisure.
‘Did you enjoy all that?’ he asked as they ate their damper and drank their billy tea at the close of the evening’s entertainment.
‘You know, I did.’ She turned to him. ‘If you’d asked me before I’d left Sydney if I’d go for this sort of thing, I think I would have said no thank you. You know what? I’ve had a fantastic time.’
He smiled as if she’d told him he’d won the lottery and could pick up his cheque in the morning.
‘Can I let you in on a little secret?’ He leaned in close so their shoulders touched. A charge of electricity shot through her and her breath stopped with the shock of it. ‘I’ve never done this before.’
‘Dating or the sunset cruise?’ She tried for a lightness she didn’t possess. She longed for him to touch her again to see if she’d imagined the effect he had on her.
Sam laughed. ‘Both I guess. I’m an amateur in the dating stakes and this is the first time I’ve taken the paddle boat. Always meant to but you know how it is when you live in a place.’ He shrugged.
‘I’m forever threatening to climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge. I never do. Everyone thinks because you live in Sydney you’ve done all that stuff, and it isn’t true. I’m perpetually busy with something else and there’s always tomorrow,’ she said.
‘Yep. Same here. I’d feel a bit of a pillock coming on this thing by myself.’
‘I know, right? None of my friends want to climb the bridge with me. They think it’s only for tourists.’ She sighed. ‘Now I’ve done this I’m motivated to go back and climb that bridge.’
‘I hope you’re not in a hurry to tick the climb off your bucket list,’ he said. He didn’t look at her as he spoke and she sensed a weight to his words.
She looked around at the other people who’d come on the boat journey with them and at the zillions of stars lighting up the night sky. She listened to the happy chatter, the laughter and the sound of insects, small animals and roosting birds rustling along the riverbank. Deep peace lived here, something she’d been looking for without realising it. In this wild, barren, flat, thirsty place she found she could breathe again.
Finally, Sarah looked at Sam. His ruffled dark hair, those incredible Hollywood-blue eyes complemented the part of him she found sexiest of all, the way he was comfortable in his own skin. He didn’t seem to need to be anything other than what he was: a dad, a farmer and a man looking for love. He made her think about who she was, who she wanted to be.
She was Sarah: writer and woman looking for love. Simple.
‘You know,’ she said at last, half turning towards him, ‘I don’t think it would matter one way or the other to me. I think there might be more interesting things to do and to … experience.’
She waited, hoping she hadn’t been too obscure.
He nodded. With the half-light throwing his profile in relief, she could make out a smile.
She took a sip of her drink and smiled right back.
‘Do you mind if I come along tomorrow and hear you speak?’
She shook her head. ‘Not at all. I think it’s an open invitation to parents and you’re a parent.’
‘That I am,’ he nodded, ‘of one hormonally-driven teenage boy.’
‘Problems?’ She sensed his need to talk.
Sam shrugged. ‘What is there to say? I suspect Levi has fallen in love with Maddie, a fact he’s only coming to realise himself.’
‘Ah,’ she said, replicating his sage nod. ‘The course of true love never runs smooth.’
‘So they say.’ He sighed. ‘Turns out Miss Maddie has a date with an older boy. Levi tells me the star half-back is taking her to the school formal. For her, it’s a big deal seeing as she’s only in year ten.’
‘And for Levi it’s total devastation.’
‘Something like that. I left him home on the couch sulking.’
‘God, I remember my first high school crush. I thought my world ended when he hooked up with a girl from another school. She wasn’t even pretty.’
Sam laughed. ‘Still stings?’
‘You better believe it. He didn’t see me at all. Turns out this other girl had chops on a skateboard and that’s what he was into. I could barely walk across the room without tripping over my own feet.’
‘Ouch. He has no idea what he missed out on.’ He raised his glass to her.
‘What about you?’
‘Mmm … let’s see. I guess I was about eleven when I first got a crush on a girl. I met her at the local rodeo. She looked at me across the bull pen and I was smitten.’
‘Wow, did you speak to her?’
Sam shook his head. ‘No, I sat in the stands and stared at her for two whole hours and then she left with her parents and I never saw her again.’
‘Unrequited love is cruel, isn’t it?’
‘To unrequited love.’ They both toasted their former heartbroken selves.
‘I guess there’s not much you can do for Levi.’ Talking to her parents about her wild skater boy had never crossed her mind. They had seemed too old and too busy to really get what she’d been going through.
‘Nah, I guess not. What would I say that would be of any benefit to him? What words of wisdom would he listen to? We wouldn’t have taken any advice from our parents at the same age.’
‘I was just thinking that,’ she said. ‘My folks seemed way too out of touch to be of any use. Mind you, I had a conversation with my mother before I came here that surprised me.’
‘About relationships?’ Sam’s voice sounded tentative.
She nodded. ‘She told me how she met my dad and knew straight away that he was the one for her. Love at first sight, she said.’
‘And that surprised you?’ Sam sounded like a man who knew about love at first sight. How come she didn’t? How did she miss out on this stuff?
‘Yeah, it did because Mum and Dad are two of the most conservative, straight-laced people you’ll ever meet. I didn’t think they’d do something as …’ she struggled to find the right word.
‘Crazy?’ he offered.
‘Wild, imaginative, spontaneous and … trusting are the words I was going to use.’
He laughed. ‘Plain old crazy works for me.’
‘You don’t believe in love at first sight?’ She tensed, everything hung on his answer.
Sam took his time. He stared out into the inky night and disappeared into its depths right before her eyes. She had no idea where he’d gone. All she could do was wait for him to come back to her. Finally, he did.
He smiled, a sad slow gesture. ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I believe.’
She returned his smile, knowing he spoke of another woman and another time. Without thinking, she reached out and laid her hand on his arm. He looked down at her hand and then up at her. What she saw in his eyes left her in no doubt this was no ordinary date, the kind where you went home and used words like nice or lovely to describe the evening. No, this was not that kind of date.
The air was charged with an energy that sparked into the darkness while the stillness between them settled into a profound silence, as if they sat at the centre of the world while it spun around them.
Sarah swallowed hard, wanting to speak and reluctant to break the spell. Then he covered her hand with his. The warmth of his skin against hers, the realness of him, sealed the deal. She might never get an opportunity like this again, sitting out here under the Milky Way with cheerful strangers and the most enticing man she’d ever met.
The words rose from her heart, bringing an unbearable pressure with them. They wanted to be free, to be spoken. She couldn’t leave here without knowing the answer to the question they held.
‘Do you feel this too, or is it just me?’
He didn’t take his eyes from hers, those impossibly-blue movie-star eyes that saw right through her defences.
‘Yes,’ he said quietly. She had to lean in to hear him. ‘Yes, I do.’
The world began to spin with the possibilities unleashed by those three words. Giddiness overtook her.
‘I thought I might be going mad.’ She grinned, unable to help herself.
‘No crazier than I am,’ he said. ‘I don’t know about you, I’ve got nothing to lose here and this … whatever this is … doesn’t come around every day. I know that for sure.’
She nodded. ‘I’ve never experienced anything like this before.’ She placed one hand over her heart to calm its hammering. ‘I don’t know what we’re supposed to do next.’
‘Neither do I.’ He laughed. ‘I don’t think there’s a play book for this sort of situation. Go home and get a good night’s sleep, I guess.’
She raised her eyebrows. Was he suggesting what she hoped he was suggesting?
‘I mean by ourselves.’ He read her mind. ‘Whatever we do we ought to take this slow. Or at least a little slower. How long are you planning on being in town?’
Loaded question.
‘I have no idea. As long as it takes. I have interviews to get and I’m sure I can find other interesting stories to investigate.’ The situation wasn’t that straight forward. She had Bella to contend with. Sarah put work on the list of things that could wait until tomorrow.
She took in the lines around his eyes, the way his mouth quirked up to one side when he smiled, the broadness of his shoulders, the way his thick dark hair had a mind of its own. The whole thing had a sense of unreality, like a dream. In a minute she’d wake up and find he was a figment of her imagination.
‘Let’s take it one day at a time and see what happens,’ he said. ‘I’m up for it if you are.’
‘Yes,’ she said. ‘Please.’
Notes for ‘Finding Love in the Outback’
Interview #5
Andy (53) and Cheryl (51). Met at a Bachelor and Spinster Ball in Yaraka twenty years ago.
Andy: We met at a B&S Ball by accident.
Cheryl: Well, if by meeting you mean you passed out drunk beneath my ute, then yes, we met at the B&S Ball.
Andy: You woke me up the next morning and offered me coffee from your thermos. Most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Cheryl: Me or the thermos? I was supposed to be chaperoning my niece and her friends and I came back to the car to find one of the tyres flat.
Andy: Yeah, that was me. See, I thought it was my brother’s ute and I thought it’d be funny if he came back and had to change the tyre. Cheryl’s ute looked the same as his to me and in my defence, I was pretty damn drunk.
Cheryl: Had more than a few beers I think.
Andy: And aren’t you glad I did? If I hadn’t I wouldn’t have got lost and ended up letting down the tyre of the wrong car and we would never have met.
Cheryl: I have to give you that. Especially as you put the spare on for me.
Andy: Come on, you know it was love at first sight.
Cheryl: (giggles) There was something about you looking so sheepish … I just knew you were the one for me.
Andy: I woke up to your gorgeous face and thought, I want to do this every day for the rest of my life.