Sarah turned off her laptop and grabbed her handbag.
‘I’m heading out,’ she said to the receptionist. ‘Can you call me if a boy called Levi turns up looking for me?’
None of her other work colleagues paid her the slightest mind as she almost ran to the elevator. She punched the button far too many times, aware the repeated action didn’t make the lift come faster, but enjoying the release of tension button pushing gave her.
It seemed to take her train ages to get to Sydney Airport. She had a novel stuffed in the bottom of her oversized handbag, which proved to be a useless distraction in the face of her building anxiety for Levi.
He was terribly young. Yes, he was tall for his age and had a certain self-possession. As far as she knew, he’d never been to Sydney before, let alone navigated its network of public transport and bustling urban natives. She contemplated all the terrible things that could happen to a young boy all alone and clueless in the big city. It was not a pleasant journey.
Finally, the train pulled into the airport station and Sarah flew off it in search of the arrivals terminal. Pushing her way through crowds of travellers and business commuters, she found a café where everyone seemed to merge together before spitting out to baggage claim and exit gates. She took a seat and ordered a coffee. Not that she needed the caffeine when her blood buzzed with adrenaline. A wine was out of the question right now. She needed her wits about her.
Her eyes scanned the people as they came and went. Under ordinary circumstances, people watching would be fun. Today, she worried she might miss him in the crowd, the whole affair feeling like a giant reality Where’s Wally.
As she sipped her coffee she let her thoughts wander to Sam. Hearing his voice had felt good. She realised she missed him underneath all that anger and pain. He’d said Levi and Maddie had set up the dating profile with good intentions. Some kind of catfish they turned out to be. She could imagine them scheming together. Maddie taking the lead, of course. Levi probably didn’t have much say in the matter. She allowed herself a little smile at the thought.
The big question was why did they do it? Obviously they wanted Sam to find a partner. Surely there were easier ways to do that. Ways that didn’t unravel in spectacular fashion.
She wanted to stay angry at Sam. He might have been a victim of Maddie and Levi’s scheming as much as she was, but there was still the issue of Kylie. Seeing them kiss had made her feel rejected and angry. And worse, the sense she’d been conned, taken for a fool. Sarah had fuelled herself on a steady flow of anger, white-hot justified anger. Even now she knew the truth, she didn’t know how to back down and accept Sam’s apology.
Bet Sam had a mess to clean up at home. Everyone would be talking about it. Everyone heard the argument, after all. If they hadn’t caught the argument between Kylie and Sam then they would have caught the second act with Sarah and Sam. Either way, Sam got to be the star of the show.
Two and a half hours into her wait, Sarah ordered a toasted cheese and ham sandwich to keep her occupied. She’d love a magazine to read but the whole point of her being there was to watch the arrivals concourse for a sign of Levi. As she munched on her snack she thought about everything that had happened. Nothing new there. She’d done this every day since the Isisford Races, taking a little piece of the puzzle and examining it in an effort to get the situation to make sense. Now, she looked at things in a different way, through the lens of a teenage boy desperate to find a partner for his lonely father.
Maddie must know what was happening with Levi. Those two were as thick as thieves. He wouldn’t run off without telling her the plan. She had to know where he was going and how he intended to get there.
She picked up her phone and typed a quick text.
Hello Maddie! Sarah Lewis here. We’re looking for Levi. His dad is sick with worry. I’m staking out Sydney airport arrivals terminal in the hope he’s coming in by plane. Tell me everything you know, and don’t leave a single thing out.
She waited, checking her phone every ten seconds to see if Maddie had responded. Sam would be on his connecting flight to Sydney by now. Regardless of how quickly he’d responded, he was still at least an hour away.
She’d already been at the airport for hours herself. Her bottom was numb from sitting so long.
Sarah scanned the crowd back and forth like an automaton, searching for a fifteen-year-old boy on the run. How did he book the tickets? He must have done it online with someone’s credit card. Maybe Sam’s, might be someone else’s. She wondered if Sam had checked with his bank.
Her phone pinged with an incoming message. Finally.
Hi Sarah! Levi is on a plane to Sydney. He bought a ticket with his savings. He’s going to go to your work to find you. You might see him first at the airport. Love, Maddie xx
Sarah read the message with mixed feelings. All the people surging past her only served to remind her how easily a young boy could become lost, disappear never to be seen again. She pushed her rising tension down and dialled the office to see if Levi had slipped through and turned up there.
She checked her watch. ‘Come on, Levi, where are you?’ she muttered as she waited for someone at Seriously Sydney to pick up the phone.
Then she caught a glimpse of a familiar face in the crowd, walking down the concourse towards her. Her heart pounded with the surge of adrenaline that had her up out of her seat waving like a maniac, her telephone call forgotten.
‘Does that sound okay?’ Maddie let Levi read the message before she sent it to Sarah. They had to let the adults believe Levi really had done a runner to Sydney if they had any chance of getting Mr C face-to-face with Sarah.
‘Sounds good,’ said Levi through a mouthful of potato chips as he played a game on his iPad. ‘What time did your mum say Dad was getting to Sydney?’
‘He should be landing shortly,’ said Maddie, preoccupied with her text to Sarah.
‘Unless he missed his connecting flight to Sydney.’
‘I’m not worried.’ Although neither of them had ever flown in a plane before, Maddie had faith in the online flight schedules. Those people knew what they were doing. ‘Do you think we should send your dad a text to let him know you’re okay? He’ll be worried sick. He was worried sick when he left here and that can only have got worse.’
Levi shrugged. ‘Sure, why not. Can’t hurt.’ He didn’t take his eyes off the screen.
‘Do you want me to do it for you?’ Her fingers itched to pick up the phone and text Mr C. She couldn’t sit here and do nothing when all this drama was being played out a thousand miles away.
‘If you want to.’ He shot her a brilliant smile before disappearing back into his game again.
She sighed and reached for his phone.
Hi Dad. I wanted you to know that I’m in Sydney and I’m okay. I’m going to find Sarah and apologise for everything. She wasn’t at her work but I’ve got her address and I’m heading there. Love, Levi. PS Don’t try and call, I’m nearly out of battery.
‘Hey, I never said I’d apologise,’ said Levi when she read the text out to him. ‘I’m not sure about that bit.’
‘Sounds convincing to me,’ said Maddie, ‘and it will ease your dad’s mind. If he knows you’re definitely looking for Sarah then he’ll go to Sarah too. Genius. Once they’re together they’ll remember why they love each other.’
‘Because they do,’ said Levi.
‘Yes,’ agreed Maddie, ‘they do.’
She pressed send and picked up the packet of potato chips. ‘Hey, you’ve eaten them all.’
He leaned over and kissed her, his lips all salty, and she forgot she had ever been hungry.
Sam’s head pounded. The plane hadn’t flown fast enough for him. He walked quickly along the concourse looking for the exit. People surged around him, too many people. Everything pushed in on him, the noise, the activity, the fact he had no idea where Levi could be.
Suddenly someone stepped in front of him, stopping him dead. Thoughts of his son raged like a storm in his head, forcing him to blink as he tried to refocus.
‘Hello,’ he said as the tempest cleared and the sun came out.
‘Hello,’ said Sarah shyly.
The airport bustle around them disappeared to leave the two of them, as if they’d been caught in a time bubble, suspended from the rest of reality.
Sam wanted to take her in his arms and never let go. An awkward barrier of unspoken words prevented him from doing so. Instead, he stood perfectly still and hoped for a miracle.
Sarah hesitated for a second before throwing her arms around him. The pressure of her body against his, the gardenia scent of her and the warmth of her arms around his neck released something in him, as if he’d been holding his breath this whole time. He sagged against her and she tightened her hug.
‘It’s going to be okay,’ she said softly. ‘We’ll find Levi.’
He nodded, mute with suppressed tears. In that moment, Sam realised how alone he’d felt. Now Sarah was here, that loneliness faded away. They would weather this together even if they parted afterwards. He had her now and that was all that mattered.
She pushed away, holding his shoulders and searching his face.
‘You want a stiff drink?’
He cracked a smile. ‘Might help,’ he said.
‘Come on.’ She took him by the hand and led him to a nearby bar.
Depositing him at a table, she organised two whiskies and returned carrying the liquid amber as carefully as if it were gold.
‘Here you go.’ She deposited a glass in front of him. ‘How are you holding up?’ Sarah sat opposite him and he sighed, suddenly tired.
He scrubbed at his face with both hands. ‘I have no bloody idea,’ he said. ‘A part of me thinks everything will work out and the other part of me is imagining all sorts of horror.’
She nodded, taking a sip of her drink and pulling a face as the whisky hit the back of her throat.
‘Same here,’ she said at last. ‘I figure Levi is a smart kid. He’s shown us he’s clever. We need to have faith in that. On the other hand, he’s not street smart.’
‘Not by a country mile.’ Sam put up a mental barrier against all the images of the terrible things that could happen to his son. Panicking wouldn’t help.
‘Kind of puts things in perspective, though.’ Sarah’s long fingers turned her glass around in a slow circle, her eyes fixed on the tawney liquid within.
He thought he knew what she meant. The gravity of the situation made the recent past look like a picnic. Funny how Levi had managed to get himself at the centre of both events. ‘I guess you’re talking about the dating profile?’
She nodded. ‘I guess I am. Look, Sam,’ she placed her hand on his arm, ‘I’m sorry I went off like that. I got triggered and I felt vulnerable and, well …’
‘No one likes feeling like that,’ he finished for her. ‘I get it. I didn’t feel real great myself. Those kids did a number on us.’
She laughed. ‘I’ll say they did. Have you heard from Levi?’
‘Not yet.’ His worry gnawed at him, creating a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. All the terrible possibilities crowded on the edge of his mind and it took all his strength to keep them at bay as his phone vibrated in his pocket. Taking it out, he read the text that had arrived. Relief swamped him, making his knees weak. Levi was safe and sound. He read the message aloud.
‘You’re kidding,’ Sarah said. ‘How did he get my address? Doesn’t matter. Let’s head there and wait.’
He sent a quick text back saying he was in Sydney too and would meet Levi at Sarah’s. While he wouldn’t be at ease until he had Levi with him, he sank into the sweetness of knowing he got to spend time with Sarah while they waited.
He followed her through the airport, amazed at how easily she negotiated the people and the landscape. You could turn him around twice and he’d be lost.
The train came as a surprise. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on one. Sometime back in high school when they’d gone on a camp to the coast. They’d ridden an old steam train in Gympie. Not quite the same thing as the sleek, modern electric version he rode in now.
They hadn’t spoken on the train. What could they possibly say in front of all these people when everything he wanted to talk about was for her ears only. He’d been content to simply sit next to her, to feel the warmth of her body next to his, as the train gently rocked them closer to the city. He sensed the words he needed to say circling him, waiting for an opportunity to emerge from his lips. They’d walked from the train station to her flat talking about inconsequential things like the ridiculous cost of Sydney property and which local cafés did the best coffee.
As she walked, Sarah flipped her hair, glorious in the spring sunshine. She moved with ease, at home in this urban environment so alien to him. He could see what she meant about parking when she had complained about living in Sydney. Too many cars. Too many people.
He listened to her talk, enjoying the sound of her voice, something he hadn’t thought he’d ever hear again. He could listen to her read the telephone book every day for the rest of his life.
And that was the problem.
Sam wanted more. He wanted Sarah in his life. Not part time with flying visits here and there, but on a full-time, live-in basis. How the hell he was going to achieve that was beyond him right now. He couldn’t come out and say what he wanted. Too much, too soon. Especially after what she saw as a betrayal, and it was, although not by him. Didn’t seem to matter. Her hurt and pain had spread over to him and he had to take some responsibility for it.
‘Here we are.’ She indicated a red-brick apartment block, unforgivingly square and squat in appearance. ‘It’s not the Taj Mahal, but it’s home.’
Sam followed her upstairs to her apartment. She unlocked the door and ushered him inside.
The space appeared much smaller than how he’d visualised it. He’d seen her in a glass and steel edifice with views of the Harbour Bridge. She lived in a shoebox instead. Somehow, that fact was a relief.
‘Make yourself at home,’ she said as she stepped into the kitchen. ‘Would you like a cup of tea? We have every sort of tea available to mankind.’
‘A regular tea would be fine, thank you.’ He sat on a purple overstuffed couch, sinking into the cushions immediately. Luckily he had no plan to go anywhere soon. It would take him fifteen minutes to find his way out of the couch.
He contemplated the room. Modern prints on the walls alongside posters for long-passed rock concerts. Mismatched cushions surrounded him, effectively corralling him. The kitchen and dining room were through an arch, so close he figured he could lean over and touch the kitchen table if he wanted to.
Sarah placed two cups on the coffee table and sat next to Sam. He felt the couch sag a little with her weight.
‘So,’ she said.
‘So,’ he echoed. This was the time. Right now. He had to say what he’d wanted to say since the day at the races. The silence in the room hung heavily. The tension mounted. Something had to give.
‘I really am sorry,’ he said at last.
‘Please don’t say that. You’ve said it enough.’
Okay, not off to a great start. Not that he’d expected the conversation to be easy or even friendly. Now he was here in the moment things seemed more challenging than he’d accounted for.
‘I don’t know what else to say,’ he said, putting his truth out there. ‘I’m sorry you’re hurt. I’m sorry you got caught up in Levi and Maddie’s machinations. I’m not sorry I met you. I’m not sorry we were together. And I’m not sorry I fell in love with you.’
Sarah gave a little gasp and sat up straighter. ‘What did you say?’
‘The bit about how sorry I am?’
‘No, the other bit.’
‘The bit when I say I’m not sorry.’
‘That’s the one.’
He chuckled, knowing exactly the bit she meant. ‘I’m not sorry I fell in love with you. And I’m not, Sarah Lewis. Not one bit.’
She held his gaze, looking at him for the longest time as if trying to outstare him. He’d never been good at that game as a kid. He’d always been first to blink.
‘Do you really?’ she asked, a stillness about her like a deer deciding whether to run or not.
‘Yes, I do.’ He said the words with such certainty, surely she couldn’t fail to believe him.
She nodded as if assessing his claim, calculating the balance sheet and seeing if he was worth the investment.
Now what? He ought to say something, anything. He was losing her, he could feel it. This whole situation was proving too much for him. Between Levi and Sarah, the two people he loved most in the world, the possibility of loss hung over him like a looming tsunami. He wanted to run, driven by a primitive need for self-preservation. He wanted to hide from the potential pain. Right now, nothing had been decided. His fate hung in the balance and he could do nothing to prevent catastrophe from coming his way.
His phone vibrated with a new message. Levi.
He felt around for his back pocket with as much dignity as he could muster, trying to keep his desperation to a minimum.
Sam read the message once, twice, three times. He could not believe his eyes. ‘What. The. Fuck.’
Sarah grabbed the phone out of Sam’s hands.
Surprise! I’m not in Sydney. I’m in Longreach. I never left. Happy reunion.
Love, Levi xxx
She read the message, her disbelief interfering with her ability to process the text. ‘Is he serious?’
‘As a heart attack.’ Sam slumped further into the couch.
‘Are you okay?’
‘I don’t know. Part of me wants to kill him and the other part is overwhelmed with relief. I think there might be a few other parts unaccounted for yet.’
‘He’s safe and sound which is a good thing.’
‘For now,’ Sam growled. ‘Wait until I get home.’
‘Okay, tiger.’ She laid one hand on his sleeve. ‘Take it easy. Plenty of time to skin him alive.’ As he struggled to sit up, her hand slipped down his arm. Her fingers encountered the hard, corded muscle of his forearm and she froze. Her eyes widened and she willed her hand to remove itself. It refused.
Sam’s bluer-than-blue eyes found hers. She’d always been a sucker for that stare, diving right in without a care for her own heart. This time was different. She knew he loved her. He’d said so twice. They teetered on the cusp of something wonderful. All she had to do was tell him she loved him too. Forgive him all the pain and confusion, and comfort him for his.
Her heart beat in time with the clock on the kitchen wall as the seconds crawled past. He said nothing, simply looked into her soul and waited.
Her move to make.
If she moved forward she would begin a new life she had no reference for. A farmer’s wife living deep in the country on the edge of the outback. Or she could remove her hand, say nothing and remain here, looking for a job to fulfil her and living in a city which suffocated her. What would it be?
As she hovered over her decision, unwilling to expose herself yet, Sam made as if to stand up. Had he had enough? Withdrawn his affections? Where was he going? She looked at him questioningly, her eyebrows raised, silently willing him to stay.
He turned, inching closer as he cupped the back of her head with one calloused hand, slipping the other around her waist and pulling her closer to him until his lips met hers. Warm, soft and insistent; she gave way to his kisses, offering no resistance to the very thing she’d wanted since she’d first seen him at the airport.
She melded against his chest, revelling in his hard, familiar contours. Even though her bruised heart hadn’t healed, she belonged here in his arms.
‘I should have stayed,’ she said. She snuggled into him, resting her head on his shoulder.
‘Might have been easier if you had,’ he chuckled.
‘I had fallen for you so hard and then to discover I’d been tricked …’ she sighed, ‘I guess I got scared. I was so mad, letting myself be exposed like that. I wanted to get as far away from my embarrassment as possible.’
‘You don’t have to explain anything to me,’ he said as he gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear with a tender gesture. ‘I had all the same feelings on the other side of the fence. I was set up and no one likes to be duped. Left me feeling like a whole lot of stuff had gone on behind my back and I only had half the story. I was worried you were falling in love with Lonely in Longreach instead of me.’
Sarah took his face in her hands and kissed him as if her life depended upon it. Because it did. While the two of them had been duped by the kids, they might never have found each other without them. And the thought of life without Sam in it was intolerable.
She had to choose and she chose him.
‘Do you think I should let Levi know I’ll be coming home on the next possible flight?’ he asked her, his face flushed in the early evening light.
‘Tell him tomorrow,’ she said, her voice husky with desire. ‘Tell him we’ll both be home to kick his arse.’
He laid his forehead against hers and chuckled. ‘Let him wait. Let him wonder if his plan worked.’
‘Did it work?’ She knew the answer as she moved her hips closer to his, lust burning her to the core. She needed him now.
‘I like to think so,’ he said, pulling her onto his lap where she could feel the full extent of his certainty. ‘I knew that night on the Thomson River that you were the one I’d been waiting for. And you?’ He cupped her cheek with his palm and she nuzzled his hand like a kitten.
‘I knew you were the one the day I saw your profile picture,’ she said. ‘You might have at least known the first time you saw me.’ She pretended outrage when the only thing raging out of control was the heat between her thighs.
‘You know, I think I did. The first night at the pub, I got such a charge out of you. I don’t think I understood what it was until later, but it was there the whole time.’ His eyes had darkened to a shade of blue she had no name for.
‘I guess I need to show you all the emails you sent me,’ she said. ‘That way you can fill in any blanks. I’m sure there’s a few.’
‘I’ve read them. I made Maddie show me. For the record, my dirt-bike riding days are way behind me. And I really, truly do not like kale.’
‘But you do like Italian food.’ She gave him a nudge. ‘And Kevin the Kelpie was real.’
‘I miss that dog,’ Sam sighed.
He stood suddenly, swinging her up into his arms. ‘Enough small talk. Where’s the bedroom?’
She laughed as he hitched her higher and strode towards the nearest room without waiting for direction.
‘No, not that one,’ she cried. ‘The other one.’
He deposited her on the bed and joined her, brushing the hair from her eyes with a gentle gesture that made her stomach flip.
‘You never told me your profile name,’ he said.
‘I’m Solitary in Sydney,’ she said as her fingers found the buttons on his shirt.
‘Not anymore, you’re not,’ he growled, pulling her towards him.
Notes for ‘Finding Love in the Outback’
Footnote
The Sam and Sarah story.
My story didn’t end the way I thought it would. It surprised me in the way stories sometimes do.
Levi ran away from home. He said he was coming to Sydney to find me and apologise. Really, he planned to lure his dad to Sydney to be with me. Another cunning and elaborate teenage plan based, apparently, on Sleepless in Seattle. The kids thought they could make the plotline work twenty-first century style.
Clever children.
Levi’s plan worked. Sam and I are together and I am moving to Longreach. I’m planning on writing that novel I always said I would write. If not now, when, right? My friends at the local radio station have invited me to have my own talkback show which I’m excited about. Getting to know the community in this way has made me feel like I belong in this wild place on the edge of the outback.
We’ve bought a kelpie puppy. His name is Dave. I’ve never had a dog before and I already love him to bits.
Have I changed my mind about online dating? Yes and no. Yes, it clearly has positive outcomes for some people. And no, there remain pitfalls, both emotional and physical. Predators lurk about online, but so do the good guys.