Josie

Josie greeted Paige in the high school reception office and pulled her into a hug.

‘Thank you so much for coming in at such short notice.’ She wasn’t usually the hug-to-greet type and they’d only known each other a grand total of six days, but it just felt right with Paige.

‘No worries. It’s the least I can do for you after you’ve been so kind about the dress and it’s good to see you again.’

‘It is,’ Josie agreed.

They might be almost eight years apart in age and their artistic talents might lie in different fields, but over a few cups of tea and the shouts of their footy-loving husbands in the background, they’d clicked in a way Josie hadn’t done with anyone before. Well, not a woman—she’d had friends growing up of course and still did now, but those friendships had all taken time to mature—the closest she’d ever come to a similar connection was the night her eyes met with Nik’s across the busy bar. If she were honest, her almost-instant liking of Paige had surprised her. The other woman seemed so young and idealistic; her chatter about her mum and her upcoming nuptials should have been annoying in Josie’s current state of mind but instead she’d found them endearing. And, as the conversation continued, she’d found herself comforting Paige about her mother and even opening up about some of her own heartache.

Why she’d felt comfortable telling Paige about her miscarriages, she didn’t know—perhaps it was proof her sessions with Clara were helping—but by the time the football had finished, Paige knew more about Josie than many of her so-called friends.

‘Is that your bestseller?’ Josie asked as she signed Paige in as a guest on the visitor register and noticed the book under her arm. ‘Can I take a quick look before we go meet the kids?’

‘Sure.’ Paige handed it to her and Josie gasped in delight as she looked down upon the beautifully illustrated cover. Of course she’d googled Paige’s work like any responsible teacher would but she hadn’t seen a copy of her book in the flesh. ‘It’s gorgeous.’

‘Thanks. I’m really happy with how it turned out.’

‘I can’t wait to hear you read it to the kids.’

Paige bit her lip. ‘I hope they like it. They’re a little bit older than my target audience but I have included a few little nuanced things for parents reading it, so they should enjoy those.’

‘Trust me, they’ll love it—it’ll be a welcome change from the last book I made them read.’

‘What was that?’

‘Far from the Madding Crowd. It was before the school holidays and they’re still whining about it.’

Josie led her outside and into the throng of students racing between the classrooms from one period to the next. ‘Get off your phone or I’ll confiscate it,’ she warned one of her year nine students as she held onto Paige’s arm.

When they got to the classroom, her students were all milling about outside, talking, but they went quiet the moment they saw her visitor.

‘All right everyone, inside and sit down quickly,’ she ordered. ‘As you can see I have someone special here to talk to you today and so we don’t want to waste any time.’

They all gave Paige the once-over as they filed inside but then settled in a timely manner.

‘As you know we’re about to start learning about picture books …’ A couple of the students groaned before Josie could continue, but she shot them both the evil eye. ‘I’m hugely excited to introduce you to my friend, Paige MacRitchie, who has recently published her first picture book, We All Live Here. Paige is going to talk about the process of writing and publishing. As you are all going to have to choose two picture books to analyse and write an individual essay comparison on and then in groups create your own picture book, I suggest you listen carefully.’

Someone’s hand shot up in the air. ‘Can we do our essay on Paige’s book?’

‘No. Stop looking for the easy option, Noah.’

As the kids scrambled for pens and paper, Josie looked to Paige. ‘Over to you.’

Paige cleared her throat and smiled at the students—some of them didn’t look that much younger than her. ‘Hi everyone. Thanks for having me here today. I thought I’d start with a little reading.’

Josie waited for some smart alec to complain about being too old for picture books but thankfully nobody did. And, from the moment Paige peeled back the cover, the kids were enthralled. She put on unique voices for all the characters and Josie wished her drama students were here as they could learn a lot as well. When she finally closed the book, the students cheered and clapped as if she’d just won Australian Idol or something.

‘Can you read it again?’ asked one of the girls.

Paige beamed. ‘I’m glad you liked it.’

For the next twenty minutes, she gave them background about herself—how she’d loved books and drawing from a young age and how as she grew older and became passionate about humanitarian causes, she decided she wanted to combine her loves for good. She continued on to talk about how she’d studied her favourite picture books and found they all had certain things in common.

‘The main characters all have a problem to solve and the description is minimal. The illustrations are what bring a picture book to life. And just because picture books are short—usually about thirty pages—doesn’t mean they’re easy.’ She spoke about the number of drafts she’d gone through with her publisher and also about the actual publication process.

When the siren for the end of the day sounded, the class let out a collective groan, something Josie hadn’t witnessed in all her years of teaching and she found herself as disappointed as her students that time was up.

‘Can you come back again?’ asked Noah. A number of other students reiterated his request.

Paige looked to Josie as if for permission and Josie said, ‘If you have the time, we’d love to have you back when we start planning our own picture books. Your feedback would be invaluable.’

‘I’d love to,’ Paige said and once again the class erupted into cheers, before waving goodbye as they spilled out the door. ‘Wow. They are way more enthusiastic than I remember me or my friends being when we were at school.’

‘Trust me, they’re not always that way,’ Josie replied. ‘But I guess passion breeds passion. Thanks for inspiring them.’

‘It was my pleasure. And are we still on for tomorrow night?’

‘Yep.’ Josie grinned. ‘I can’t wait to see your mum’s reaction.’ All the bitterness she’d harboured when she heard about Paige and her mother had gone and now all that was left was the joy at being involved in such a special plan.

‘Thanks. She’s trying to be positive but it’s obvious her illness and the monotony of dialysis three times a week is getting her down. She deserves a little happiness.’

With a rendezvous next evening to look forward to, Paige left and Josie started around the room, pulling down the blinds. She was just picking up her bag, when her phone beeped with a message.

It was from Clara: Really sorry but something’s come up and I can’t see you this afternoon.

Josie stared down at the message—she hoped Clara was okay as it seemed unusual for her to cancel at such short notice, but maybe this was a sign? She’d been feeling a lot better these last couple of weeks. Of course she was still heartbroken but Clara’s advice to take proper time out with Nik and to do things to make herself and others happy appeared to be doing the trick. Since making a conscious decision to focus on other things aside from her grief, she’d found it easier to get up each morning and she’d handed out a lot fewer detentions at school.

If it weren’t for Clara, she’d probably have outright refused when Nik told her about the dress and then she’d never have met Paige. Today, she was so happy that she’d feel a bit of a fraud taking up Clara’s time anyway.

But the thought of ending her sessions made her a little sad. She enjoyed her time with Clara—it wasn’t only that the other woman provided a safe space for her to talk freely about her grief, but she also really liked her.

Oh well, she didn’t have to make any drastic decisions right away. Instead, since she now had a free afternoon, she decided to make a special surprise romantic dinner for Nik. Josie smiled at the thought as she collected her things from her locker in the staffroom and headed for her car.

Fifteen minutes later, she was perusing the gourmet shelves at the local supermarket as she contemplated whether to make beef wellingtons or a rack of lamb with a herb crust when a woman came around the corner and their trolleys collided.

‘I’m so sorry.’ The words were out of Josie’s mouth before she registered she knew this woman. ‘Clara?’

Her usually sleek golden bob was tied back in a ponytail, bits of hair were falling out onto her face and she was wearing a tracksuit.

‘Josie. Fancy running into you here.’ Clara turned red as if she’d been caught doing something illegal. ‘I’m so sorry to have cancelled our session at such short notice.’

‘It’s not a problem.’ Josie smiled, wanting to put her at ease. ‘I’m feeling really good today. I’ve made a new friend and she came to school and spoke to my students about picture books this afternoon.’

‘Oh, that’s nice. How did you meet?’

‘It’s a funny story actually. About a week ago, Nik came home all excited about something he’d seen on Facebook. There was this woman on there looking for her mother’s wedding dress.’ She went on to tell Clara the whole story about her gown. ‘Turns out the dress was the one this girl was looking for.’

‘Hmm … That’s understandable.’ Clara nodded and Josie frowned, recognising that the other woman wasn’t really listening, but simply making what she hoped were the right kind of noises. She felt as if she could tell Clara she’d signed up for that one-way trip to Mars and the other woman would nod politely and say ‘how lovely’.

Although Clara didn’t have to listen to Josie right now, this distracted behaviour seemed very out of character. Something was bothering her.

Josie reached out to touch the other woman’s arm. ‘Clara, tell me to mind my own business if you want but … are you okay?’

Clara blinked rapidly, her cheeks flushed darker and she put her hand to her neck. ‘I’m f—’

Josie guessed she was about to say ‘fine’ but the word died on her tongue and instead Clara pursed her lips tightly together and squeezed her eyes shut as if trying not to cry.

The tables suddenly turned, Josie dug into her handbag for the packet of tissues she now carried around permanently.

‘Here.’ She offered them to Clara with a gentle smile as a woman with two young children looked suspiciously at them as she took a wide berth.

Clara took one look at the packet and burst into tears. ‘Oh God. I’m so sorry,’ she said, snatching a tissue and dabbing at her eyes. ‘This is so unprofessional of me.’

‘It’s okay. Talking to you has helped me immensely so if you think it’d help you to talk about whatever’s bothering you, then I’m more than happy to listen. We could go get a coffee at the café on the corner?’

Clara looked torn between accepting and rejecting the offer and Josie guessed it was because she didn’t want to get into trouble with the charity. But she couldn’t care less about any rules and protocol that might exist; no way was she going to walk away from Clara in such a state.

‘Come on.’ She nodded towards the supermarket’s entrance. ‘I haven’t had a good coffee since this morning. We can leave our trolleys here and come back later.’

Clara sighed. ‘Okay, if you’re sure you have time.’

‘All the time in the world,’ Josie said; Nik loved her homemade spaghetti sauce, she already had the ingredients for that and it didn’t take long to make.

‘You’re such a sweet girl,’ Clara said, a few minutes later when they had ordered their drinks (and some chocolate cake) and were sitting in a corner table at the café. ‘I don’t want to burden you but I guess I owe you an explanation.’

She didn’t owe Josie anything, but Josie didn’t say this, understanding Clara needed this excuse to justify opening up.

‘As you know, I’m divorced.’

Josie nodded.

‘Well, I’ve recently started seeing someone, a wonderful man.’ Clara’s eyes lit up a moment, but the joy vanished as quickly as it had come. ‘But Rob, my ex, is an alcoholic, and he’s never been able to accept we live separate lives now.’

Josie was not surprised by this statement—the man she’d met hadn’t looked exactly healthy and she remembered Clara seeming unsurprised that they’d met outside a pub.

‘A few weeks ago Rob turned up and there was an altercation. It was awful, he tried to punch Gregg.’ Her face went pale at the recollection. ‘Once again I told him it was over, and Gregg sent him on his way. As he left, I hoped and prayed I’d never see him again. I’ve been having such a great time with Gregg the last few weeks—I’ve felt happier than I have in a long time. I hadn’t heard anything from Rob, so I dared to hope that maybe he might finally have got the message. Gregg and I have even made plans to go away on a cruise together, but …’

Clara paused, sniffed and wiped her nose.

‘A few days ago, I got a call from Rob’s mother. She was in hospital with a broken ankle and needed some things brought in to her.’

‘Ah, and I’m guessing you ran into Rob again?’

‘No.’ Clara shook her head. ‘That’s just it. Rob, it seems, has gone missing.’

‘Missing?’ Josie’s head jerked back at this surprising declaration and a waiter chose that inconvenient moment to bring over their order.

‘I’ve given you two spoons to share this delicious cake,’ he said with a grin as he put the cake and their coffees on the table. ‘Enjoy, ladies.’

‘Thank you,’ they said in unison, sounding like a recorded message.

‘What do you mean, missing?’ Josie asked the moment the waiter retreated. Neither of them made a move towards the food or drink.

‘He’s vanished. The police have listed him as missing but they’re not really doing much to try and find him and …’ She sighed heavily again. ‘Because he’s not available to help Brenda—not that he’d be much use anyway—the task has fallen to me. Gregg and I went to her house and it was in such a state, mess everywhere, dirty dishes growing mould. I couldn’t leave it like that, so I’ve spent the past few days cleaning it up for her.’

That explained the tracksuit and the dirty marks covering it.

‘I just came to get some supplies to stock her fridge.’

‘That’s kind of you,’ Josie said.

Clara snorted. ‘I don’t feel kind. I feel resentful. Don’t get me wrong, I like Brenda and I don’t blame her, but I just want to move on with my life. And, whenever I feel as if I finally might be free of Rob, something like this happens. I’m tired of all this, I just want closure. For me, for his mother. And I can’t leave her to her own defences in her current state. She’s got a visiting nurse stopping by once a day to help her, but it’s not the same as family. Is it?’

Josie shook her head, knowing that when she was at her very lowest after each of her miscarriages, she’d craved the comfort of her mother.

‘I’m sorry, Josie, I shouldn’t have told you any of that. I don’t know what came over me, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to continue with our sessions. I’ve been volunteering for over twenty years and I hope I’ve helped, but I’m not sure I have anything left to give.’

Josie’s heart clenched—right now she was more concerned about Clara’s mental health than her own. Did she have someone else to discuss her woes with? She might not feel comfortable chatting to her new beau about her ex and her ex-mother-in-law.

‘I’m so sorry,’ Clara continued, ‘but I can promise you our other volunteers are lovely.’

‘That’s okay. I understand. And I appreciate everything you’ve already done for me. In fact, when I got your message this afternoon, I was thinking that maybe I don’t need our sessions anymore. You’ve helped me accept my grief, not feel ashamed of it and in doing so, you’ve inspired me to live again. I just wish there was something I could do to help you.’

‘Oh, don’t be silly, that’s not the way this is supposed to work, but I’m glad you’re feeling better. Don’t hesitate to call the charity’s helpline though if you ever feel the need.’

‘I won’t,’ Josie promised, and then an idea landed in her head. ‘Can I visit your mother-in-law? Take the burden off you a little.’

Clara blinked. ‘You’d do that?’

‘Yes. I think I’d enjoy it.’ And that was the truth—now that she’d started to think about others aside from herself, she was feeling much better. Helping an old dear could only improve on that.

Clara looked as if she wanted to accept, but, ‘I feel like that might be abusing my position as your support person.’

‘But you won’t be my support person anymore, will you? Please, I’d love to help.’

Slowly, a smile stole onto Clara’s face and this time it was in her eyes as well as her mouth. ‘Well, if you’re sure. That would be a help—I was a bit worried about going away next weekend—and I think Brenda would love it too. She won’t be able to get out of the house on her own for a while.’

Josie nodded. ‘It’s settled then. I’m not taking no for an answer. Now, are we going to eat this chocolate cake or what?’